Anyone with bf/gf moving away?

[NJDental]

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Hey guys/girls...just thought id ask...

Are people in serious relationships (not married bcz I wouldn't even have to ask) applying to schools only in their area? Or are they applying everywhere like mad? Im just wondering how other people are dealing with moving away for 4 years...im not sure how it works with summer or winter breaks but I wouldn't imagine being home a lot to be able to see your bf/gf/family, especially the further away you are....

I probably not making any sense haha but oh well..

Im not going to not apply to far away schools just bcz im in a relationship..that would be dumb 🙁 but at the same time I can't imagine not seeing my boyfriend for SUCH a long time! I love him 😍

Hope somebody feels the way I do....

BTW im from jersey so my options to close schools are UMDNJ (about 2 hrs away) Temple (about 45 min away) Penn...Maryland...UConn....(pretty far)

anddd my dream school is ASDOH which is right next door!! kidding...

 

[Greensalad]

Hey guys/girls...just thought id ask...

Are people in serious relationships (not married bcz I wouldn't even have to ask) applying to schools only in their area? Or are they applying everywhere like mad? Im just wondering how other people are dealing with moving away for 4 years...im not sure how it works with summer or winter breaks but I wouldn't imagine being home a lot to be able to see your bf/gf/family, especially the further away you are....

I probably not making any sense haha but oh well..

Im not going to not apply to far away schools just bcz im in a relationship..that would be dumb 🙁 but at the same time I can't imagine not seeing my boyfriend for SUCH a long time! I love him 😍

Hope somebody feels the way I do....

BTW im from jersey so my options to close schools are UMDNJ (about 2 hrs away) Temple (about 45 min away) Penn...Maryland...UConn....(pretty far)

anddd my dream school is ASDOH which is right next door!! kidding...

I say follow your gut, go with your top school. Many people drive hours to see their bf/gf every or every other weekend.

 

[Jacky Treehorn]

Hey guys/girls...just thought id ask...

Are people in serious relationships (not married bcz I wouldn't even have to ask) applying to schools only in their area? Or are they applying everywhere like mad? Im just wondering how other people are dealing with moving away for 4 years...im not sure how it works with summer or winter breaks but I wouldn't imagine being home a lot to be able to see your bf/gf/family, especially the further away you are....

I probably not making any sense haha but oh well..

Im not going to not apply to far away schools just bcz im in a relationship..that would be dumb 🙁 but at the same time I can't imagine not seeing my boyfriend for SUCH a long time! I love him 😍

Hope somebody feels the way I do....

BTW im from jersey so my options to close schools are UMDNJ (about 2 hrs away) Temple (about 45 min away) Penn...Maryland...UConn....(pretty far)

anddd my dream school is ASDOH which is right next door!! kidding...

I am in the same boat as you. I am from Florida and so is my girlfriend of 4 years. Most of the schools I applied to are northeastern schools in addition to the 2 florida schools here. If I get into Temple, UMDNJ, or Maryland - I will be pretty far away from her 🙁

I guess I will just have to see what happens - she is in school also so I don't expect us to be back together for a while. This is life I guess. 👎

 

[Jem27]

Well, this is all down to priority and you have to make the choice you think is best for you. I'm sure you know that already.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, since freshman year of college. I applied to the slew northeast schools since I'm from NY. I also applied to UOP in California and one or two other west coast schools because I wanted to go to California but specifically, UOP. I knew it was my school of choice from day 1 and it didn't hurt that my mom moved to the Bay area shortly after I applied.

Say, if I get accepted to Columbia and get the choice to go to that fine institution and be with my boyfriend, would I decide to go to Columbia .. I would hesitate for a second but I think I'd still go to UOP (if I get in, that is). I know that decision would be the end of our relationship (and it'll sadden me) but it's more important to me that I live my life the way I want to rather than have my choices hinge on someone else's life.

Personally, in the end, I think I'd have more regrets staying in NY to be someone's girlfriend.

And who says you can't get back together after you get your degree....

 

[swtcatastrophe]

Hey guys/girls...just thought id ask...

Are people in serious relationships (not married bcz I wouldn't even have to ask) applying to schools only in their area? Or are they applying everywhere like mad? Im just wondering how other people are dealing with moving away for 4 years...im not sure how it works with summer or winter breaks but I wouldn't imagine being home a lot to be able to see your bf/gf/family, especially the further away you are....

I probably not making any sense haha but oh well..

Im not going to not apply to far away schools just bcz im in a relationship..that would be dumb 🙁 but at the same time I can't imagine not seeing my boyfriend for SUCH a long time! I love him 😍

Hope somebody feels the way I do....

BTW im from jersey so my options to close schools are UMDNJ (about 2 hrs away) Temple (about 45 min away) Penn...Maryland...UConn....(pretty far)

anddd my dream school is ASDOH which is right next door!! kidding...

i only applied to schools in the NYC/NJ area, which is where i'm originally from. i really would like to live in NYC, like i did this summer and had a great time. i'd be near my family in north jersey, whom i've lived away from during undergrad. i don't go home much and i'm really starting to get homesick. my bf of 3 years is in finance and will be working downtown and we want to live together after undergrad, with plans of getting engaged and then married while i'm in dental school. that's not very possible if you live on opposite sides of the country. i'm also not a strong believer in the success of long distance relationships. i know people who do it, but i think for myself as someone who has a somewhat dependent personality, i would not be happy enough or focused enough on school without him. the furthest my bf and i have been during undergrad, with the exception of holiday breaks, is on different floors of our dorm. so it'd be a big adjustment. it really depends on the couple and what you see for your future and how you feel you would handle long distance.

 

[berg1373]

I am in the same boat too...

My boyfriend and I have discussed this SO MANY times and for now are just going to wait and see where I end up. He is graduating this year and understands how important and what an awesome opportunity it is to be accepted to dental school. Because of this AND because he hasn't committed to any job options yet, he is thinking about moving with me. It's a huge thing to ask someone to do that for you, but it's also a huge thing to be able to become a dentist, the career you are passionate about and have always wanted. I don't know what any of your bf/gf's do, so my situation is different from others, but hopefully it will all work out in the end.

 

[DentaLizzy]

I'm lucky enough that my bf of over 2.5 years has a job that allows him to live anywhere where there is a major airport, so we are planning to move in together also, and then engagement/marriage at some point during d-school. He has been soo supportive of me during this whole process, and has been with me to all of my interviews so far to check out the area/real estate etc. (not to the actual interview) 🙂 But if him moving wasn't an option, I wouldn't restrain myself to certain schools because of it.

 

[rtbfyb]

I totally relate. I live with my boyfriend in Chicago; he is in his second year of medical school. The closest school I'll probably end up at is Marquette; the farthest, ASDOH (which is also my #1 pick). I can't imagine going from living with someone for two years to being more than three hours by plane apart. He's very understanding and wants me to take advantage of the opportunities presented to me, but I know it will be tough for me to adjust. I guess all I can do is wait until I hear from the schools and find a way to work things out from there.

 

[NJDental]

Yeaa thats how I feel too,im just going to go for it and see what happens, just wait it out; my bf isn't set with a job yet either, so it would totally make sense for him to move with me, but unfortunately he's not so easily persuaded 🙁 he said hes a jersey boy for life and doesnt want to move, even tho i said it may not be permanent. It suckssss because Its not like I can just be like OK well then bye im moving away; but at the same time I don't want to let it restrain me from going to my dream school. Because of our relationship tho, Il probably end up (**hopeing I get in***) going to my state school, which is still a 2hrs drive but not bad at allllll.

decisions, decisions! 😕

 

[NJDental]

Oh and I thought Id also add.....the dentist that Ive worked for for a few years had a one to one chat with me and kind of laid things out....he said (UMDNJ, and this goes for anyones state school that they are attending) is a GREAT school, and its a great school because its a dental school; when you think about it, everyone learns the same thing and basically every school is primarily the same, (even tho some may vary with clinics and # of patients they see) but the best option is your state school because it will most likely cost you less. I want to go to ASDOH and when I talked to a rep from there she told me once I pay for my first year of dental school PLUS living expenses (not inlcuded in tuition) it will be $90,000. $90, 000!!!! FOR ONE YEAR! With in state schools youll most likely get state aid which will knock off some of those dollars. So basically you want to choose the school that you are going to come out with the least debt. He said he would have loved to go away, far away, for dental school just for the experience, but hes perfectly happy saving thousands and thousands of dollars, and no one EVER has asked, where did you go to school?

It was really great advice and he just laid it out there for me, so I hope it helps 😉

 

[swtcatastrophe]

I say follow your gut, go with your top school. Many people drive hours to see their bf/gf every or every other weekend.

i thought about applying to schools in the philly area but it doesn't seem that it would be reasonable for me to travel back and forth to NYC while in D-school esp during D1&D2 on weekends. also, without a car, traveling can get expensive--which would definitely be my situation--and time consuming. if you're driving, you can't study. if you're on a train, it's a lot of money. if i don't have time to go home except in december during undergrad, it's difficult for me to imagine having more travel time in dental school. while it's true that my bf could come from NYC to visit, i think it would be still be hard to find a weekend that wasn't crammed with work so i could make his visit worthwhile.

i know a couple who are both first year med students--one in PA and one in MA. they are only going to see each other once or twice during this semester. they are not originally from the same area so it would be difficult to see each other on breaks as well. that is super tough in my opinion. i respect it, but i could never do it. i'd be so lost without my best friend.

clearly, i've thought about it a lot. i think applying to only 4 schools may be hurting me, as i haven't heard anything yet, but if my DAT scores were better i don't think it would matter at all how many schools i applied to. i want to go to dental school very badly because being a dentist will make me happy. BUT there are other parts of life that make me happy too, and i am not willing to sacrifice those. if i have to wait a year to get my ideal scenario, i will. it's definitely up to the individual.

 

[uvaGirL07]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years and he's applying to medical schools and I'm applying to dental schools next cycle. We're basically focusing on schools on the east coast. We've done long distance for the majority of our time, and it CAN work! It sucks a lot of the time, but when you're busy, it's even easier to be apart (and I'm sure dental school will do a good job of keeping you busy).

I am applying to a few schools that are not on the east coast, but I don't really think my chances of getting into those schools are too high anyway. I guess if I do get an interview somewhere out there, then I'll start thinking about it. But if you two are both going to be on the same coast, it's really not that bad. I would just make sure to make a commitment to see each other on a regular basis--be it once every month or once every two months, whatever. I think even if you have to spend more money to make such a commitment, if the relationship is worth it, why not spend the money? We're already going to have insane loans for dschool anyway. LOL Just my opinion... 😍

 

[KingChris]

I go to Harvard Dental and my girlfriend of 4yrs goes to UConn Med. We're 2 hours apart and both very busy, but we see each other almost every weekend. So, it CAN be done if your serious enough.

 

[Cymbidium]

Hey guys/girls...just thought id ask...

Are people in serious relationships (not married bcz I wouldn't even have to ask) applying to schools only in their area? Or are they applying everywhere like mad? Im just wondering how other people are dealing with moving away for 4 years...im not sure how it works with summer or winter breaks but I wouldn't imagine being home a lot to be able to see your bf/gf/family, especially the further away you are....

I probably not making any sense haha but oh well..

Im not going to not apply to far away schools just bcz im in a relationship..that would be dumb 🙁 but at the same time I can't imagine not seeing my boyfriend for SUCH a long time! I love him 😍

Hope somebody feels the way I do....

BTW im from jersey so my options to close schools are UMDNJ (about 2 hrs away) Temple (about 45 min away) Penn...Maryland...UConn....(pretty far)

anddd my dream school is ASDOH which is right next door!! kidding...

Not true! My husband is staying in LA for the next 4 years while I go to NYU dental.

 

[dental0903]

Not true! My husband is staying in LA for the next 4 years while I go to NYU dental.

Wow, I really respect you and your husband a lot for that. It's tough. I know, because my husband is in another country and will be there for a while. Good luck! 😀

 

[bigstix808]

i too am in a bind. my gf and i are looking to both attend dental school. the thing is, i don't think we'll both get into the same school(s). we might, but my scores are better than hers and our back grounds are pretty different (makes for a different personal statement). i would like to go to a school out west, and she wants to stay here in ga. but, i also want to go to my state school as a first choice, as does she. so right now, we have no idea where either one of us is going to end up...kind of nerve racking

 

[dr bojangles]

most of the schools i'm applying to are on eastern seaboard, some CA schools. my gf is applying law schools, mostly NYC-tristate area, maybe some CA schools. we both agreed its more important to follow our careers now while we're young. we've been together almost 5 years now, so can't just break the bond, so we both decided to at least give long distance a meaningful attempt. if it gets too tough for us, then i guess it'll be done for awhile, or back to friends 👎. anyway, we cross that bridge when we get to it.

 

[bigstix808]

anyway, we cross that bridge when we get to it.

true true...sounds like a plan

 

[lindell12a]

Yep, most def in the same boat as most of you. Trying to apply to schools on the east coast because my bf wants to move there...it's weird because he can move wherever he wants and I can only go where i get in. I always feel as though it's somewhat unfair...

If i get into a top choice school, then i will no doubt go...😳

 

[toothsome]

Yea, my situation is really strange. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years, and we are a year apart. However, I'm 20 and I'm graduating with my undergrad because I skipped a grade in middle school, was an earlier starter, and took overloads and summer sessions every semester. So, even though I'm 3 years of school ahead of her we are only one year apart. We are trying to get into the same school, her for her undergrad and mine for D-school. As you can imagine it's difficult. We think we have it figured out and are trying the metropolitian tactic and try and get into a school near each other by picking a location with alot of schools. My only concern is I don't want her to sell herself short to stay with me, because she graduated 3rd in high school and could get into a really good school. It will all work out in the end so I'm not too worried about it.

 

[D3NTropy]

wow, i think i just learned first-hand something new today. of all your posts about how long you've dated your bf/gf, no one ever mentioned anything about making the commitment to them and get engaged/married to allow you to be together. i've been dating my gf for 4 yrs last week, since senior year high school. we attended colleges that were 2 hours apart for 2 and half years, and i think it improved our relationship!! very rarely did we see each other back to back weekends. often every other weekend, and sometimes 4 weeks w/o seeing each other b/c of family/too busy. we will both be graduating in may, but fortunately, she is willing to "go along for the ride" and follow me wherever i get accepted (as long as i commit to her) and damn was she serious! but that's understandable. so in the coming weeks, i plan to 'pop the question'. And like one person said before, she already said that she wouldn't "move in" with me without being married, and i also feel the same. It seemed too easy for that person of a 4 or 5 year relationship, to say "oh well, as long as i follow my dreams and do what I want to do, then it's ok if we don't stay together." i mean, c'mon! if you love them, you should make the commitment, so that BOTH of you can have what BOTH of you want. i guess i've prayed about my situation, and feel comfortable with it, and to you, i suggest doing the same...

 

[Jem27]

i mean, c'mon! if you love them, you should make the commitment, so that BOTH of you can have what BOTH of you want. i guess i've prayed about my situation, and feel comfortable with it, and to you, i suggest doing the same...

easier said than done, for some.

what do you want me to do? dig a hole, put some leaves over it, string a cheeseburger to the branch overhead and when my boyfriend goes for the bait, scream "GOTCHA! you gotsa marry me now!"

i think 5 years is long enough to be girlfriend. to put off my career goals in favor of no commitments on the horizon... i think i'll take my chances in dental school instead.

plus, part of me kinda likes the idea of a bit of freedom. i have the rest of my life to marry and make babies. right now, i wanna dance. no guys, just dance.

 

[swtcatastrophe]

wow, i think i just learned first-hand something new today. of all your posts about how long you've dated your bf/gf, no one ever mentioned anything about making the commitment to them and get engaged/married to allow you to be together. i've been dating my gf for 4 yrs last week, since senior year high school. we attended colleges that were 2 hours apart for 2 and half years, and i think it improved our relationship!! very rarely did we see each other back to back weekends. often every other weekend, and sometimes 4 weeks w/o seeing each other b/c of family/too busy. we will both be graduating in may, but fortunately, she is willing to "go along for the ride" and follow me wherever i get accepted (as long as i commit to her) and damn was she serious! but that's understandable. so in the coming weeks, i plan to 'pop the question'. And like one person said before, she already said that she wouldn't "move in" with me without being married, and i also feel the same. It seemed too easy for that person of a 4 or 5 year relationship, to say "oh well, as long as i follow my dreams and do what I want to do, then it's ok if we don't stay together." i mean, c'mon! if you love them, you should make the commitment, so that BOTH of you can have what BOTH of you want. i guess i've prayed about my situation, and feel comfortable with it, and to you, i suggest doing the same...

awwww. awesome. that's so exciting. congratulations! 😍

in my situation, my bf and i decided that we would not get engaged during undergrad and take that step some time after graduation. we'll live together afterwards regardless. even though i'm anxious and excited about getting married, we're already committed to staying together, so it's okay if it takes a little time to build a nest egg and prepare for the wedding. that's the main reason for waiting; he wants to be able to support us.

sometimes there are situations that wouldn't allow for the relationship to continue but i definitely think that in the scenario where choices could be made to allow for it, whether it be applying so that you could be near them or giving long distance a legitimate try, you could make those choices and grant both of you some happiness.

Jem, why wouldn't you and your bf try long distance after 5 years? i mean, you don't have to believe it works--like me--but at least try to prove yourself wrong. also, have you and your bf talked about this? b/c by the time you go, won't you be together for almost 6 years? it seems like it'd be worth holding onto... unless you're really set on getting some independence. feel free not to answer if this is too personal.

*edit: this is my 50th post. i'm not sure why that makes me happy but it does. 🙂*

 

[Cymbidium]

If it makes any of you feel better, my husband and I were long distance for 2 years (LA to NY)- we were still bf/gf at that point, but everything worked out well in the end.

 

[uvaGirL07]

wow, i think i just learned first-hand something new today. of all your posts about how long you've dated your bf/gf, no one ever mentioned anything about making the commitment to them and get engaged/married to allow you to be together. i've been dating my gf for 4 yrs last week, since senior year high school. we attended colleges that were 2 hours apart for 2 and half years, and i think it improved our relationship!! very rarely did we see each other back to back weekends. often every other weekend, and sometimes 4 weeks w/o seeing each other b/c of family/too busy. we will both be graduating in may, but fortunately, she is willing to "go along for the ride" and follow me wherever i get accepted (as long as i commit to her) and damn was she serious! but that's understandable. so in the coming weeks, i plan to 'pop the question'. And like one person said before, she already said that she wouldn't "move in" with me without being married, and i also feel the same. It seemed too easy for that person of a 4 or 5 year relationship, to say "oh well, as long as i follow my dreams and do what I want to do, then it's ok if we don't stay together." i mean, c'mon! if you love them, you should make the commitment, so that BOTH of you can have what BOTH of you want. i guess i've prayed about my situation, and feel comfortable with it, and to you, i suggest doing the same...

my boyfriend and i are definitely planning on getting engaged and married. i just didn't include that in the post because i didn't think it was relevant. haha 😛

 

[USU24]

easier said than done, for some.

what do you want me to do? dig a hole, put some leaves over it, string a cheeseburger to the branch overhead and when my boyfriend goes for the bait, scream "GOTCHA! you gotsa marry me now!"

i think 5 years is long enough to be girlfriend. to put off my career goals in favor of no commitments on the horizon... i think i'll take my chances in dental school instead.

plus, part of me kinda likes the idea of a bit of freedom. i have the rest of my life to marry and make babies. right now, i wanna dance. no guys, just dance.

LOL. Right on. I think you should life your life. Marriage is not the end all, and it's totally your choice. And yeah, thanks for putting it humorously. I especially loved "you gotsa marry me now!"

 

[TheWiredNerv]

I have a pretty serious relationship with my girlfriend and will perhaps marry her in the not too distant future. If you have a strong bond with her then you can over come not see yoru significant other for a period of time. If you can't then would you really want to marry someone like that?

 

[coachman5]

My boyfriend and I are both applying to schools this year, and it's a very nerve wracking process. He is studying philosophy of religion. We applied to schools in the northeast, and we're hoping that we get into schools in the same city somewhere.

Last year, I applied only in Boston so we could stay together, but I didn't get in anywhere. This year, we're both applying so it opens up a lot more possibilities. 🙂

 

[PChemGrad]

get over it, people will come and go in your life. dont stay with someone just to go to a school close to them, you never know the person you really love is in that city across the US.
Quite a few people in my dental school class have bf/gf spread all over the US, they see each other about 1-2 times a month. so it can be done.
love will always be there, your educational opportunities wont.

 

[Calculus2008]

Two thumbs up!! 👍👍 well said! education comes first

get over it, people will come and go in your life. dont stay with someone just to go to a school close to them, you never know the person you really love is in that city across the US.
Quite a few people in my dental school class have bf/gf spread all over the US, they see each other about 1-2 times a month. so it can be done.
love will always be there, your educational opportunities wont.

 

[DentPursuer88]

hahaha, to the OP, it's ironic how you and I have similar positions just on different sides of the country. Let me try to break this down.

I used to live in Haledon, NJ. On August 12, 2005 I moved to Glendale, Arizona to help my mother.

Funny thing is, I was in a relationship with the greatest girl I have ever met. The irony in it all is that I am still with my sweetheart and she actually came to visit me for the first time in AZ yesterday! She's going to spend the Thanksgiving break with me and my family. I talk to her every night. Sometimes if I have a long enough break, I would go back to NJ to see her and her family (plus my dad lives in NJ).
* So long distance relationships do work, you just have to do your job as a parter to listen, communicate, comprehend, and appreciate everything that he/she is doing for you.

So far it has been 4 1/2 years together, and were going strong.

BACK TO YOU OP:

I was actually thinking about applying to UMDNJ once I've taken my DATs. The reason why I thought that your question was funny is because I live in AZ and UMDNJ was my 1st choice because of the great clinical experience that it offers. ASDOH is a great school as well and is still fairly new, however it is a private school, so tuition is a neck breaker. What your dentist said was smart and would actually be the route that I would want to pursue. Nevertheless, AZ has GREAT living opportunities, far more than NJ. So do what you believe would be a smart move.

YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT EVERY PERSON IN LIFE HAS A DIFFERENT PARADIGM(SITUATION OF LIFE-OUTLOOK), SO MAKE SURE YOU DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.

I hope this helps a little. You can PM me anytime if you have any questions. Good luck. Happy Thanksgiving!

 

[IamJetLi]

damn i wish i had a gf like you....hehe

Hey guys/girls...just thought id ask...

Are people in serious relationships (not married bcz I wouldn't even have to ask) applying to schools only in their area? Or are they applying everywhere like mad? Im just wondering how other people are dealing with moving away for 4 years...im not sure how it works with summer or winter breaks but I wouldn't imagine being home a lot to be able to see your bf/gf/family, especially the further away you are....

I probably not making any sense haha but oh well..

Im not going to not apply to far away schools just bcz im in a relationship..that would be dumb 🙁 but at the same time I can't imagine not seeing my boyfriend for SUCH a long time! I love him 😍

Hope somebody feels the way I do....

BTW im from jersey so my options to close schools are UMDNJ (about 2 hrs away) Temple (about 45 min away) Penn...Maryland...UConn....(pretty far)

anddd my dream school is ASDOH which is right next door!! kidding...

 

[Schnitzels]

The long distance relationship is a difficult thing... harder for some than others. My aunt and uncle, now happily married for over 25 years, at one point did a long distance relationship for 9 years between LA and Haiti! For real. It was not easy, but they loved each other enough to make it work.

I on the other hand have tried the distance thing, and I'm no good at it. I get depressed being away from the man I love. And that is a major distraction. I'm lucky enough to be in a situation where my bf is able and willing to move wherever I go. It's a major commitment since we are not planning on marriage for some time.

So, it totally depends on the people involved and what options you have available. There is no easy way about it. Lots of luck sorting this all out!

 

[bigstix808]

i wanna say the long distance relationship works....i mean my dad was in korea for 4 years after my mom and dad were married. needless to say, my mom raised me from the time i was 5. if you think you can make it work then go for it. if you have any doubt, it might be worth reconsidering....