Arguments with spouse about residency locale?

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oldiebutgoodie said:
PL198 and DarkKnightX, PLEASE don't get married and don't procreate. The human race doesn't need it.
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Wasn't planning on it. Don't see why getting married and procreating is such a great thing.

Most married people with kids seem miserable, and just want everyone else to share in their misery.
 
sb247 said:
That's not how custody works in most states...but feel free to continue dislikig marriage
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Ok I will. You can have the same woman every night, while I bang chicks from all over the world ranging from ages 21-40.
 
DarknightX said:
Ok I will. You can have the same woman every night, while I bang chicks from all over the world ranging from ages 21-40.
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Well, while you are banging chicks from all over the world (snicker) , you might want to think about birth control, or YOU will have one of those horrible children you despise. (or HIV, or herpes, or some random STD, etc). Plus the child support for 18 years. BTW, I sure hope you're not going into peds. Or internal medicine. Maybe pathology?
 
sb247 said:
That's not how custody works in most states...but feel free to continue dislikig marriage
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Really? Feel free to prove me wrong, it's extremely common especially with doctors and stay at home moms for the mom to get primary custody due to her being the "primary caregiver."

DermViser said:
Dude, you're 21. There is a reason that evolutionarily we gravitate towards marriage, families, having children. You can tell yourself that you don't want those things at all - but that's a voluntary, conscious decision. Not everything is a contract/transaction. You're thinking this way too deep.
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Policy has changed, hence the amount of people being married changing... The official statistic right now is that we DO NOT gravitate towards marriage, families and having children. Courts didn't use to look down on someone for having a penis. Now it's not even a question.
 
oldiebutgoodie said:
Well, while you are banging chicks from all over the world (snicker) , you might want to think about birth control, or YOU will have one of those horrible children you despise. (or HIV, or herpes, or some random STD, etc). Plus the child support for 18 years. BTW, I sure hope you're not going into peds. Or internal medicine. Maybe patholoogy?
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You're such a logical person. So the fact that he chooses to have different relationships than you, clearly means he shouldn't go into peds or IM and definitely should do pathology. That's a really intelligent thought. I also like how it's inferred that he's lazy and irresponsible in your comment. Another brilliant assumption.
 
PL198 said:
You're such a logical person. So the fact that he chooses to have different relationships than you, clearly means he shouldn't go into peds or IM and definitely should do pathology. That's a really intelligent thought. I also like how it's inferred that he's lazy and irresponsible in your comment. Another brilliant assumption.
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Thank you! But I don't think he's lazy, after all, he's banging chicks from all over the world!
 
DarknightX said:
To answer your questions: No, Yes, and Yes.

Never been slighted, usually I do the slighting and I do feel bad for actions when I was younger.

Marriage to one women is not appealing to me at all. I love meeting new people, especially new beautiful women, and I just don't think I could stay faithful to one, no matter how amazing she was.

I want to do everything when I want and the way I want to do it. I work damn hard, so I don't see why I should have to compromise my free time to satisfy someone else and their desires. I don't want to go shopping, hang out with other stupid couples that I don't like, or pretend to be interested in things I could care less about. If I'm off on Sunday, I want to watch football, not have brunch with her parents. I have little free time, so the time that I do have, I'd rather spend doing things that I actually want to do and with people I want to spend it with.

When I was in my late 20's and early 30's I did get lonely at times, as all my friends were getting married, but now everyone is getting divorced so I have plenty of people to hang out with. Plus I don't have to pay half my salary to anyone. I'm driving a luxury sports car (thanks to mooonlighting during research year) while most of my friends who make way more money than me are driving buckets and can barely survive.

Plus recently divorced women are the best for one night stands!
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You're like The Todd.
 
sb247 said:
I wouldn't want a woman that any tool could pick up at will...monogamy works for me
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Wait so the fact that any tool that makes 200k a year can pick up the average married chick, is somehow better than any dude with decent overall attractiveness being able to?

Gotta say we disagree there brother.
 
PL198 said:
Really? Feel free to prove me wrong, it's extremely common especially with doctors and stay at home moms for the mom to get primary custody due to her being the "primary.
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You made the point...just post the statute from your state awarding automatic primary custody to the mother
 
oldiebutgoodie said:
Thank you! But I don't think he's lazy, after all, he's banging chicks from all over the world!
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Actually you felt the need to recommend to him about attending to his sexual health and suggesting career choices. Nice try though
 
PL198 said:
Policy has changed, hence the amount of people being married changing... The official statistic right now is that we DO NOT gravitate towards marriage, families and having children. Courts didn't use to look down on someone for having a penis. Now it's not even a question.
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Wrong. When it comes to full custody - mothers were ALWAYS favored. That is definitely not anything new.
 
As much as I'm enjoying this, can we agree on the following?

-many people still feel compelled to settle down, marry, and have children
-this choice is not universal, and such a choice should not be attached to a moral judgment
-however, once made, it's important that married individuals take into account one's spouse's opinion about major, life-altering decisions
 
PL198 said:
Wait so the fact that any tool that makes 200k a year can pick up the average married chick, is somehow better than any dude with decent overall attractiveness being able to?

Gotta say we disagree there brother.
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Reading comprehension...

I would not be interested in the caliber of woman lining up to be banged by every idiot with a high tax bracket

My wife being better than that is one of the characteristics that led to her being my wife
 
sb247 said:
You made the point...just post the statute from your state awarding automatic primary custody to the mother
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Yeah because that's doable... Whatever, keep on keeping on. I've realized it's foolish to attempt to try to convince people of anything. You enjoy your great marriage and I'll be forever miserable in the shameful pit of being legally single.
 
oldiebutgoodie said:
Well, while you are banging chicks from all over the world (snicker) , you might want to think about birth control, or YOU will have one of those horrible children you despise. (or HIV, or herpes, or some random STD, etc). Plus the child support for 18 years. BTW, I sure hope you're not going into peds. Or internal medicine. Maybe pathology?
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I'm not going into any of those, but nice try.

I'm a general surgery senior resident and don't know why pathology would have anything to do with this.

And I know how to use protection. I'm not some dipsh*t in my 20's and this isn't my first rodeo, partner. I'm well into my 30's, and I actually do like kids. Show me where I said anything bad about children? My post regarding this issue said that if I was to get married, I would adopt, as their are many children who need a home.

Might want to work on your reading comprehension first before you start the personal attacks.
 
sb247 said:
I wouldn't want a woman that any tool could pick up at will...monogamy works for me
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Yeah, if it works for you great. Nice and safe.

I find it painfully boring. So do the married chicks I've hooked up with.

Just kidding! I'm not a homewrecker and I do draw the line. Seen too many traumas where some jealous dude or chick goes off.
 
colbgw02 said:
As much as I'm enjoying this, can we agree on the following?

-many people still feel compelled to settle down, marry, and have children
-this choice is not universal, and such a choice should not be attached to a moral judgment
-however, once made, it's important that married individuals take into account one's spouse's opinion about major, life-altering decisions
Click to expand...

Nope if you don't get married you're clearly a terrible person, you're lazy, irresponsible and should only be a pathologist or a radiologist. I find it HILARIOUS that people would have such strong reactions to people choosing not to get married. How would you treat a bisexual or homosexual person? That's a much less encountered alternate choice, so the fact that people are flying off the handle making assumptions about character for not going with the flow really makes me question how they'd act.
 
DermViser said:
Wrong. When it comes to full custody - mothers were ALWAYS favored. That is definitely not anything new.
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ok.... that's not the only aspect of the argument dude... alimony, percentages of asset distribution, perceived worth of a stay at home mom , there's hundreds...
 
DarknightX said:
Don't know who TheTodd is, but he must be awesome.
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the-todd.jpg


 
PL198 said:
Nope if you don't get married you're clearly a terrible person, you're lazy, irresponsible and should only be a pathologist or a radiologist. I find it HILARIOUS that people would have such strong reactions to people choosing not to get married. How would you treat a bisexual or homosexual person? That's a much less encountered alternate choice, so the fact that people are flying off the handle making assumptions about character for not going with the flow really makes me question how they'd act.
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It's called jealousy, my friend.

I can't tell you how many of my friends who are married have told me how jealous they are of my life.
 
DarknightX said:
It's called jealousy, my friend.

I can't tell you how many of my friends who are married have told me how jealous they are of my life.
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It's just hilarious to me how I'm sure these same people are the ones that smile and nod their heads when their instructors tell them about not judging their patients(in a homosexual or behavioral context), yet someone chooses not to get married, and everybody loses their f*cking mind. So they can be ok with 4 percent of the population(LGBT), but 50.2 percent of the remaining? f*ck those people clearly, they're nuts and they should be quarantined, really hope they don't reproduce.
 
This thread has become totally derailed and I feel somewhat responsible.
 
I think your friends are more nostalgic than they are jealous. I mean, I have a single colleague that spend the Labor Day weekend in Vegas. I mean, do I wish I could do that? Maybe. But would I trade places with him for 24/7/365? No way.

Again, if you're single and happy to stay that way, then rock on. I'm just saying that I wouldn't take comments from married friends as evidence that they're legitimately jealous.
 
blackkrim said:
Cool story bro.

Look, I don't really care how anyone lives his/her life, but several posters ridiculed the OP as "Beta" or whatever nonsense term simply because he wants to consider his wife's opinion. You and other posters may not get married, but anyone who wants a successful marriage absolutely must consider their partner's opinions and wishes. Marriage comes with responsibilities that make it so that one cannot simply do whatever one wishes and accepting these responsibilities makes one neither "Beta" nor "whipped."
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Disagree, bro.

When it comes to one's training, they should do whatever they wish and whatever is best for their career. A spouse who has no idea what they're talking about and is simply looking for their own convenience is flat out selfish. It's not like OP wants to go drink with the guys or plan a trip to Vegas. He wants to get the best training possible in order to have a good career and provide for his family. If he can't make his wife understand that, then he is beta and whipped, and I put the blame on him, not her.

Get into medical school first, and then lecture me on spousal opinions about choosing a residency program.
 
PL198 said:
ok.... that's not the only aspect of the argument dude... alimony, percentages of asset distribution, perceived worth of a stay at home mom , there's hundreds...
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Are you seriously going to say that a woman who stayed at home (giving up her job) to take care of your kids has no financial worth?
 
DarknightX said:
Disagree, bro.

When it comes to one's training, they should do whatever they wish and whatever is best for their career. A spouse who has no idea what they're talking about and is simply looking for their own convenience is flat out selfish. It's not like OP wants to go drink with the guys or plan a trip to Vegas. He wants to get the best training possible in order to have a good career and provide for his family. If he can't make his wife understand that, then he is beta and whipped, and I put the blame on him, not her.

Get into medical school first, and then lecture me on spousal opinions about choosing a residency program.
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Does your entire life revolve around your career?
 
DarknightX said:
Pretty much, not unlike most surgical residents.
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Yeah, that's expected. But it seems like you wish to continue that beyond the set training period of residency and/or fellowship.
 
DarknightX said:
Disagree, bro.

When it comes to one's training, they should do whatever they wish and whatever is best for their career. A spouse who has no idea what they're talking about and is simply looking for their own convenience is flat out selfish. It's not like OP wants to go drink with the guys or plan a trip to Vegas. He wants to get the best training possible in order to have a good career and provide for his family. If he can't make his wife understand that, then he is beta and whipped, and I put the blame on him, not her.

Get into medical school first, and then lecture me on spousal opinions about choosing a residency program.
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Am I qualified to "lecture"? Because you're doing a lot of it as someone who is happily not in a relationship that requires such compromises. Especially the part about accusing the spouse of being selfish, as if that's not exactly what a married person making this decision unilaterality is doing.

This is not an either/or choice. That is, it's not between getting substandard training and appeasing one's spouse. It's a spectrum. On one hand, a person may truly have to choose between geography for family's sake and training quality. On the other, the training experience may be equivalent irrespective of geography. Nearly, every point between those two extremes exist. Married people understand implicitly that sacrificing a little bit on one's own choice is well worth it if it benefits the family in other ways, and there's likely a point on the continuum that works for that couple.
 
PL198 said:
It's just hilarious to me how I'm sure these same people are the ones that smile and nod their heads when their instructors tell them about not judging their patients(in a homosexual or behavioral context), yet someone chooses not to get married, and everybody loses their f*cking mind. So they can be ok with 4 percent of the population(LGBT), but 50.2 percent of the remaining? f*ck those people clearly, they're nuts and they should be quarantined, really hope they don't reproduce.
Click to expand...

Totally agree. Can't tell you how many people get upset about this or find it unbelievable.

Why the hell do I want to get into something that has a 50% failure rate, and an even higher unhappiness rate? Doesn't really make sense to me.
 
DarknightX said:
Totally agree. Can't tell you how many people get upset about this or find it unbelievable.

Why the hell do I want to get into something that has a 50% failure rate, and an even higher unhappiness rate? Doesn't really make sense to me.
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Are you talking about medicine or marriage?
 
DermViser said:
Are you seriously going to say that a woman who stayed at home (giving up her job) to take care of your kids has no financial worth?
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no but when it gets to the point where you add up the " yearly salaries of all the positions you replace," where they literally go (maid's salary) + (hair cutter's salary) + (cook's salary) + (interior decorator salary) + (day care salary) + so on, it gets to the point where it's so illogical that I don't know how it has legal grounds. because doing each of those tasks for an hour every day clearly means one has value equal to those profession's cumulative salaries yearly. One of the women's magazines put out an article that the average stay at home mom was worth 800k in salary. I literally rolled on the ground laughing about that.
 
colbgw02 said:
Am I qualified to "lecture"? Because you're doing a lot of it as someone who is happily not in a relationship that requires such compromises. Especially the part about accusing the spouse of being selfish, as if that's not exactly what a married person making this decision unilaterality is doing.

This is not an either/or choice. That is, it's not between getting substandard training and appeasing one's spouse. It's a spectrum. On one hand, a person may truly have to choose between geography for family's sake and training quality. On the other, the training experience may be equivalent irrespective of geography. Nearly, every point between those two extremes exist. Married people understand implicitly that sacrificing a little bit on one's own choice is well worth it if it benefits the family in other ways.
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You're very qualified, sir/ma'am (Unless you're an ER attending, then I take it back).

I respectfully disagree. When it comes to career decisions like residency, you have to take the best training available, especially when it comes to surgical training. This is not something that cannot be compromised. OP needs to make his rank list based on where he believes he'll get the best training. Doesn't mean it's the highest ranked academic institution. It means where he'll learn the best and fit in the best. I understand that there's a spectrum, but I just fail to see why he needs to make any sacrifice here. Especially when his wife will be the one cashing the checks once he's done with residency).
 
DarknightX said:
Totally agree. Can't tell you how many people get upset about this or find it unbelievable.

Why the hell do I want to get into something that has a 50% failure rate, and an even higher unhappiness rate? Doesn't really make sense to me.
Click to expand...

.
 
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blackkrim said:
Again, nobody is attacking your (or @PL198) choice. Everyone has different values and that's totally cool, even if I would never get on board with that lifestyle myself. What's disagreeable is your condescension towards the OP and ridicule of his life choices.
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apparently you didn't read the thread chief
 
colbgw02 said:
Wow, so we've now entered a post-Scrubs era of GME. May God have mercy on our souls.
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I'm just as shocked too. I thought he was really kidding. Really surprised someone can't know the tv show Scrubs.
 
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