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- Thread starter slowthai
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My boyfriend and I likely will be. We've been long distance for 5 years so far, which includes my last 2 years of vet school, 1 year internship, and my surgical residency. He just finished his first year of med school. I will be finished with my residency next summer, however his med school is in a smaller town without any job prospects for me as a specialist, so I'll be at least a few hours away. Our hope is that he will be able to match to a residency program in a bigger city so that I'll be able to find a job more easily, but that's still 3 years away. We make do with visits every few months when we can. I'm so used to being long distance at this point I don't even remember what it's like to be able to see my SO on a regular basis, ha. In some ways it's easier - I never have to worry about choosing between spending quality time with him vs. residency obligations (being on call, studying for boards, reading journals, etc). I'm sure he would agree when it comes to studying for exams. Ultimately if being together (albeit long distance) makes you happier than being single (or with someone else), then you make it work.
Any advice on someone just now starting long distance in a similar situation?
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Some tips off the top of my head:
- Regular communication. Whether that is daily, every other day, weekly, etc - discuss something that works for both of you and make it part of your routine. My boyfriend and I will text sporadically throughout the day but generally we save most of our communication for a nightly phone call around 10pm. It doesn't always happen if one of us goes out, I'm at work, he's studying, etc but we do our best.
- Keep each other involved in each other's lives. It's easy to feel like you're not part of your SO's life anymore when you don't know any of their friends/classmates/coworkers, or vice versa. We talk about our daily lives and the people in it all the time so by the time I met some of my boyfriend's med school friends, I felt like I already knew them because I had heard so much about them.
- Plan your next visit before you leave. Every time we meet in person, we figure out when we're going to see each other next before the visit ends. It helps to know the next time you'll see them again and have something to look forward to.
- Make the most of your time together. Ideally, try to plan to spend time together when both of you are free of obligations (no upcoming exams etc). That won't always be possible, but when you only see each other every couple of months, you want to be doing fun things together and not studying at a library when you're finally reunited!
