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Please don't quote if possible. Just edited this down a bit but I'd still like to protect my anonymity. Also sorry for the millionth post of this kind, but I didn't want to stick my personal story into someone else's thread and my story is pretty specific to me.
So I won't be applying until next year, but now that it's secondary season, I've been thinking about what I will eventually write about and something very apparent came to my mind. The thing is, I'm worried that it's not good fodder for the challenge essays/that it will be misconstrued in some way. If so, I'd like to take some time to think about what else I want to write about. And to get it out of the way, I'd be pretty comfortable talking about this topic in an interview. Any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.
To keep it short and simple, my dad was in a toxic relationship for a few years around when I was in middle school that involved domestic abuse - both verbal and physical- and did nothing to stop it. The police were called twice (never by my dad) and the relationship ended after the second call (made by a family friend) and the second call led to a social worker being called. In the end, my dad reluctantly agreed to a restraining order against this woman, so that my mother wouldn't sue for full custody.
Anyways, this relationship really negatively affected me. It was a horrible way to learn that a parent is human. It shredded my sense of control - I felt helpless because not only did my dad do nothing to stop her behavior, but I was also unable to help him. It also destroyed my relationship with my dad for a long time. I became pretty apathetic and a big procrastinator - I just didn't care as much as I did before about a lot of things, especially school. I had ups and downs until I hit a big down my sophomore year of high school where my grades dropped drastically. My dad moved away to another country and I realized just how much I had left bottled up. I ended up in therapy and through a lot of hard work I began to gain a sense of control back and slowly but surely let go of my anger towards both my dad and the world for allowing it to happen. I've come to accept that things are often out of our control and that dwelling on those situations is not productive. I also have learned that people are human and that expecting perfection from others is unfair. We all make mistakes, even people we love and care about. My dad and I have a much better relationship now, though we will never see eye to eye on how toxic that relationship was. My grades are also much better now that I'm in college (I have a 4.00 GPA) which is something I could never have dreamed of while I was in high school. Basically, this whole experience forced me to grow up very quickly, but I've learned to accept it, learn from it, and move on with my life. I've also come to forgive my dad's ex and have come to realize that she herself was probably dealing with her own set of emotional troubles (she was an Iraq war veteran).
I'd appreciate any thoughts about whether this could work for the challenge secondary essays.
So I won't be applying until next year, but now that it's secondary season, I've been thinking about what I will eventually write about and something very apparent came to my mind. The thing is, I'm worried that it's not good fodder for the challenge essays/that it will be misconstrued in some way. If so, I'd like to take some time to think about what else I want to write about. And to get it out of the way, I'd be pretty comfortable talking about this topic in an interview. Any feedback at all would be greatly appreciated.
To keep it short and simple, my dad was in a toxic relationship for a few years around when I was in middle school that involved domestic abuse - both verbal and physical- and did nothing to stop it. The police were called twice (never by my dad) and the relationship ended after the second call (made by a family friend) and the second call led to a social worker being called. In the end, my dad reluctantly agreed to a restraining order against this woman, so that my mother wouldn't sue for full custody.
Anyways, this relationship really negatively affected me. It was a horrible way to learn that a parent is human. It shredded my sense of control - I felt helpless because not only did my dad do nothing to stop her behavior, but I was also unable to help him. It also destroyed my relationship with my dad for a long time. I became pretty apathetic and a big procrastinator - I just didn't care as much as I did before about a lot of things, especially school. I had ups and downs until I hit a big down my sophomore year of high school where my grades dropped drastically. My dad moved away to another country and I realized just how much I had left bottled up. I ended up in therapy and through a lot of hard work I began to gain a sense of control back and slowly but surely let go of my anger towards both my dad and the world for allowing it to happen. I've come to accept that things are often out of our control and that dwelling on those situations is not productive. I also have learned that people are human and that expecting perfection from others is unfair. We all make mistakes, even people we love and care about. My dad and I have a much better relationship now, though we will never see eye to eye on how toxic that relationship was. My grades are also much better now that I'm in college (I have a 4.00 GPA) which is something I could never have dreamed of while I was in high school. Basically, this whole experience forced me to grow up very quickly, but I've learned to accept it, learn from it, and move on with my life. I've also come to forgive my dad's ex and have come to realize that she herself was probably dealing with her own set of emotional troubles (she was an Iraq war veteran).
I'd appreciate any thoughts about whether this could work for the challenge secondary essays.
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Thanks again!
