Challenge Secondary Essay Idea?

[thrownaway11]

Hello! I'm struggling to come up with a solid idea to work off of for my challenge essays. Do either of these sound okay?

1) A natural disaster hit my family's home country, and there was a period of time where I felt helpless as some of my family was in the area with many of their friends dying, homeless, and injured. I had to question what my place could be in being supportive from so far away, and I ended up being part of a club hosting fundraiser/awareness events that raised money while celebrating culture. We raised a lot of money and it ended up being a beautiful tribute. I think overall it made me realize the power of unity in something as big as this and how there is almost always something that you have the power to do even when my initial reaction was to freeze up from concern.

2) I was working as an intern with kids for summer programming when I noticed that one of the kids was being bullied for his weight and family background. I had to balance addressing how they were treating him while making him feel welcome to program, but it took a lot of learning how to re-build his trust in that setting especially in the position of a leader for them. Eventually he became a lot more comfortable, and I saw him open up a lot by the end of the summer

Thank you!

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[Mr.Smile12]

What did you write for OIE? Prompt?

Write Your Secondary Essays First - SDN

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[thrownaway11]

What did you write for OIE? Prompt?

Write Your Secondary Essays First - SDN

The Student Doctor Network provides free tools, resources, and advising services to help students become health professionals.

www.studentdoctor.net

I did not write an OIE essay because I truthfully don't have any major disadvantage/extenuating experiences that I could talk about without seeming shallow and that I do not already cover in a diversity/additional information secondary.

Here's the prompt I'll be starting off with: Please reflect on a difficult and challenging non-academic experience you have faced. Include a description of the stressful event, how you dealt with it and what you have learned about others and yourself through this process. (500 words)

 

[Mr.Smile12]

I did not write an OIE essay because I truthfully don't have any major disadvantage/extenuating experiences that I could talk about without seeming shallow and that I do not already cover in a diversity/additional information secondary.

Here's the prompt I'll be starting off with: Please reflect on a difficult and challenging non-academic experience you have faced. Include a description of the stressful event, how you dealt with it and what you have learned about others and yourself through this process. (500 words)

Well, I would have considered option 1 to be covered in OIE. Since you didn't write about it, it is fair game for other essays.

That said, for this prompt, I like your second option. It feels like you can make a clearer narrative for the prompt. You have a lot more flexibility in option 1 but the character limit really wants you to be very succinct. Your own description doesn't satisfy me: sure, you can raise funds and awareness, but how much did you actually make an impact?

 

[chilly_md]

Option 1 does not fully address the prompt and Option 2 seems to be stretching a lot for a stressful or challenging experience that you went through.

 

[LizzyM]

I do like #1 because I see it as responding to the prompt. The challenge was the anguish you felt upon learning of the effects of the disaster in your family's homeland, your empathy for the people who were struggling to survive, and your desire to help despite the great distance. What could you do? You gathered with other likeminded people and raised funds and awareness for the situation while also celebrating that country's culture and educating others about the country and its recent tragedy. Be specific that you raised x dollars which were contributed to X group to provide assistance with ___ (or to [specific population] to [thing the money was for] ) This might be something like, raised $2,000 to assist with the rebuilding of a school in the village of ___. Close with how this made you feel or what you learned such as that people working together can make the change in the world that you want to see.