mistafab

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You can't control your roommates. You can feel more confident in your abilities when your abilities improve. You can approach your roommate as an adult and ask them to stop talking about school at dinner time. However, as an adult, they can refuse if they so like.

My suggestion is you stop worrying about how everyone else is doing and you focus on your needs right now. What do you need to do better in school? What do you need to do to take a 60% to a 70% (or wherever you are at)? Why are you doing poorly? Ask yourself these questions and get answers right away. Get help from your school since most have some sort of study-strategy programs or tutoring for their students. The earlier the better. Just FYI I had no prior experience with the course content when I started either. You don't need prior experience to do well - something here is not happening and you have time still to figure it out and address it quickly.

Greetings

M1 here. My roommate seems to have it all together. I failed an exam recently while they got an A. At home, they always talk about school, but usually downplay their knowledge or make it seem like they're so behind and often ask how its going for me (not from interest in me, but to compare their progress). I have no prior experience from our current course content and they do (often bragging about having learned X and Y concept in college)--but still complain about feeling behind?? On the other hand, Ive heard them complain to physician family members about how hard school is/how little free time there is. This person stays up very late to study and wakes up early as well.

I want my dwelling to be a stress-free zone if possible. I do not study at home to avoid interactions and prefer coffee shops or the library. Roommate does not know how I did on the exam. How do I get on the right path to feeling more confident in my abilities? Do I/how do I confront this person about not talking about school while it's dinner time?

Sincerely,
T
 
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AnalisCanalis

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Medical students love to whine about the difficulties and hardships of medical school and almost everyone downplay their studying efforts. That doesn't sound like a gunner to me.
 
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sliceofbread136

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you start getting used to it. Feeling inadequate is a normal part of medical training and forces you to continually try and improve.
 
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NotYou20

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Roommate doesn't really doing like a gunner. If they're studying a ton it's probably because they feel behind.

Become more confident by doing better. Do better by studying smarter/more.

Yes you can just ask your roommate not to talk about school at that time, it doesn't have to be some big confrontation dude
 
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msk2016

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Maybe ask your roommate how and what they are studying.
 
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Gorne

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Roommate is not a gunner. Roommate is succeeding in school while you are not. Pick their brain instead of being self-conscious about your scores.
 
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akwho

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Greetings
I want my dwelling to be a stress-free zone if possible. I do not study at home to avoid interactions and prefer coffee shops or the library. Roommate does not know how I did on the exam. How do I get on the right path to feeling more confident in my abilities? Do I/how do I confront this person about not talking about school while it's dinner time?

"I have great resource for passing all my classes literally sitting around in my home. How do I make sure to burn this bridge to the ground in the most spectacular way possible?"
 
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DokterMom

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Unless you have strong evidence to the contrary, assume the best of your roommate -- That s/he really does feel overwhelmed and behind and that they're not asking how you're doing to put you down, but rather because they either do care or are just making random conversation. It sounds like maybe you're projecting your own insecurities onto your roommate's actions and hearing 'gloat' or 'gunner' where it may not exist.

If you think you might benefit from studying with your roommate, then ask. Or ask what they do that's working well for them because what you're doing is working less well for you. And of course, DO follow through on the advice about the learning center and getting more information about your own learning style and what does and doesn't work for you.
 
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Greetings

M1 here. My roommate seems to have it all together. I failed an exam recently while they got an A. At home, they always talk about school, but usually downplay their knowledge or make it seem like they're so behind and often ask how its going for me (not from interest in me, but to compare their progress). I have no prior experience from our current course content and they do (often bragging about having learned X and Y concept in college)--but still complain about feeling behind?? On the other hand, Ive heard them complain to physician family members about how hard school is/how little free time there is. This person stays up very late to study and wakes up early as well.

I want my dwelling to be a stress-free zone if possible. I do not study at home to avoid interactions and prefer coffee shops or the library. Roommate does not know how I did on the exam. How do I get on the right path to feeling more confident in my abilities? Do I/how do I confront this person about not talking about school while it's dinner time?

Sincerely,
T
Tell your roomate that you do not wish that they discuss school with you (but the advice above of utilizing your roommate to help you IS a great idea).

I know how you feel...Mrs Dr Goro, having a PhD herself, feels obligated to tell me the details of every HPLC run she does, while when I come home, I just want to leave work outside.

And read this:
Goro's Guide to Success in Medical School (2017 edition)
 
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deleted480308

"I have great resource for passing all my classes literally sitting around in my home. How do I make sure to burn this bridge to the ground in the most spectacular way possible?"
yep....
 
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Tchotchke

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Unless you have strong evidence to the contrary, assume the best of your roommate -- That s/he really does feel overwhelmed and behind and that they're not asking how you're doing to put you down, but rather because they either do care or are just making random conversation. It sounds like maybe you're projecting your own insecurities onto your roommate's actions and hearing 'gloat' or 'gunner' where it may not exist.

If you think you might benefit from studying with your roommate, then ask. Or ask what they do that's working well for them because what you're doing is working less well for you. And of course, DO follow through on the advice about the learning center and getting more information about your own learning style and what does and doesn't work for you.
Thank you for your advice. This person often talks about getting honors, if I am studying with someone in the common area they interrupt and give away the answer, things like that. Gunner was just the closest word I suppose. I will reach out to the learning center and/or professors.
 
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Dr. Retractor

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Assuming you just started, the feelings you are experiencing are super common. Not having a strong background in all the science they throw at you in medical school while others seem to have learned everything already may make you think that you're at a disadvantage when in reality you're not. The preparedness differential can definitely be overcome by studying smarter. Use the beginning of med school to experiment with different study techniques and find out what works well based on how you do on exams, and stick with it. It might take you one more exam, it might take you all of first year (it took me until my last block of first year to figure out what works for me).

But as others have said, you should stop comparing yourself to others. It's easier said than done but make a conscious effort to not give a s**t about what other people are getting on exams or how prepared they seem. Focus on doing the best you can and competing with yourself rather than how others are doing.
 
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takeurmeds02

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It surely wouldn't hurt to possibly pick their brain but the two bigger issues are:

1. Why are you performing like you are? Fix this fast.

2. Give absolutely zero f***s about what other people are doing around you. Welcome to the arena of high achievers. There's always going to be someone doing more than you; you unfortunately just happen to live with one haha. Focus on your goals and what you want out of your education and future.

Plus, they'll calm down mid-year/a little after anyway...there's a certain point where everyone's knowledge-base starts evens out (unless they were previously like a PA or something lol).

You're capable.
 
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Lannister

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having doc parents explain everything at night on the phone

You seem a little bit bitter. I suggest you get over it. Have you ever considered that he/she is just smarter than you or works harder than you? You don't get to the top of your med school class by having doctor parents who help you with your homework, most doctors barely remember the random factoids they learned in M1.
 
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Dr. Retractor

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It surely wouldn't hurt to possibly pick their brain but the two bigger issues are:

1. Why are you performing like you are? Fix this fast.

2. Give absolutely zero f***s about what other people are doing around you. Welcome to the arena of high achievers. There's always going to be someone doing more than you; you unfortunately just happen to live with one haha. Focus on your goals and what you want out of your education and future.

Plus, they'll calm down mid-year/a little after anyway...there's a certain point where everyone's knowledge-base starts evens out (unless they were previously like a PA or something lol).

You're capable.

My mildly worthless own two cents on the bolded part - I was told this before started med school but I've come to realize that it's not necessarily the case. Especially in a systems based curriculum, some people have a higher baseline knowledge of all the basic science parts of the curriculum (and others have a higher baseline knowledge of clinical decision making) that def confers them a certain confidence all throughout the preclinical years. Bottom line is don't expect the pre-med school knowledge gap to close or the people who seem mad prepared in the beginning to stop seeming mad prepared.
 
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deleted862527

That roommate of yours is probably lying. To get an A on a medical school exam requires significant amount of time commitment. And if he is spending more time hanging out with friends then studying then he didn't get an A as he said he did. If you get an A on a med school exam, and party 24/7 and 'barely studied' for it (which implies you didn't look over it at all) then you cheated.

Just focus on yourself. Don't compare yourself to them.
 

NotYou20

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That roommate of yours is probably lying. To get an A on a medical school exam requires significant amount of time commitment. And if he is spending more time hanging out with friends then studying then he didn't get an A as he said he did. If you get an A on a med school exam, and party 24/7 and 'barely studied' for it (which implies you didn't look over it at all) then you cheated.

Just focus on yourself. Don't compare yourself to them.
Color me skeptical of your reading skills
On the other hand, Ive heard them complain to physician family members about how hard school is/how little free time there is. This person stays up very late to study and wakes up early as well.
 
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Imdream

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I would say you are lucky to have a room mate who is doing really well, I would become best of friends with him, ask him what he is doing what study materials etc don't be surprised if u start nailing your exams too
 

carrots28

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Your roommate and you are in the same boat. Collaboration is key to get through stressful times!

Also, if you feel like you don't want to talk about it, just be upfront! During a stressful week, I had to tell my SO I didn't want to talk about medicine or anything school related because I was stressed. Any person with emotional intelligence should pick that up if you say you are stressed and want to talk about something else.
 
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Perfect Hair Day

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Nah, I super get it. Some people like to be able to separate where they work and where they play. I'm astonishingly unproductive when I'm home, but I'm a productivity champ in the library. I wouldn't want to have some reminder of what I need to do gnawing at me when I'm home. Face down, bass up, that's the way I like to fry some fish.

"I have great resource for passing all my classes literally sitting around in my home. How do I make sure to burn this bridge to the ground in the most spectacular way possible?"
 
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Tchotchke

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Nah, I super get it. Some people like to be able to separate where they work and where they play. I'm astonishingly unproductive when I'm home, but I'm a productivity champ in the library. I wouldn't want to have some reminder of what I need to do gnawing at me when I'm home. Face down, bass up, that's the way I like to fry some fish.
lol thank you for understanding
 
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JP2740

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Roommate doesn't really doing like a gunner. If they're studying a ton it's probably because they feel behind.

Become more confident by doing better. Do better by studying smarter/more.

Yes you can just ask your roommate not to talk about school at that time, it doesn't have to be some big confrontation dude

Yes I did really well in school and felt behind/always catching up. I think it's impossible to not think this way. It's hard to not talk about school with someone going to the same school when studying should occupy 90% of your time. Learn from him and stop failing exams.
 
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mehc012

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Yes I did really well in school and felt behind/always catching up. I think it's impossible to not think this way. It's hard to not talk about school with someone going to the same school when studying should occupy 90% of your time. Learn from him and stop failing exams.
90%, really? That sounds unhealthy...
 

mehc012

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To be fair, I don't really consider reading through a few textbook chapters (for fun, no notes or cards or attempt to nail down details) 'studying', but it'll get me by most of my day-to-day med school requirements until exams pop up every few months.
 

takeurmeds02

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To be fair, I don't really consider reading through a few textbook chapters (for fun, no notes or cards or attempt to nail down details) 'studying', but it'll get me by most of my day-to-day med school requirements until exams pop up every few months.

You get exams every few months?
 

Lannister

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Yeah, more or less. This block is 14wks long, for example. Our next one is about the same, but with 3wks of vacation interspersed throughout for the holidays.

I'm fairly certain I know which school you to go, and I'm sure it's a fantastic school, but dang I am glad I didn't get accepted there.
 

mehc012

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I'm fairly certain I know which school you to go, and I'm sure it's a fantastic school, but dang I am glad I didn't get accepted there.
Haha, fairly certain you do know, come to think of it. Honestly, it's incredibly chill though. No memorizing minutiae (or minimal), and I'm only at school 6-8hrs per week most weeks. Just had a week off, in fact! All I have to do is buckle down and prep Step and I'll be fine.
 
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Lannister

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Haha, fairly certain you do know, come to think of it. Honestly, it's incredibly chill though. No memorizing minutiae (or minimal), and I'm only at school 6-8hrs per week most weeks. Just had a week off, in fact! All I have to do is buckle down and prep Step and I'll be fine.

Yeah I guess every system has its advantages! We have an exam every other week here, and while it's very much not chill (although we do get afternoons off after the exams), it's nice because it's impossible to fall behind.
 

takeurmeds02

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Yeah, more or less. This block is 14wks long, for example. Our next one is about the same, but with 3wks of vacation interspersed throughout for the holidays.

Oh wow, that's interesting

Yeah I guess every system has its advantages! We have an exam every other week here, and while it's very much not chill (although we do get afternoons off after the exams), it's nice because it's impossible to fall behind.

And yes, I like to be over and done with the material haha
 
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mehc012

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Oh wow, that's interesting



And yes, I like to be over and done with the material haha
Some of it is actually easier to learn in a few passes. We tend to learn a few systems separately and then spend the last few weeks of the block integrating them. For example, we learned basic cards, pulm, and renal separately, but then the last month or so of that block were things that integrated all of those systems, like shock or acid/base, etc. It helped reinforce the individual concepts, and it let us learn the complex ones once we had all the basic building blocks already. GI, nutrition, and biochem combined similarly well.
 
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Gurby

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To be fair, I don't really consider reading through a few textbook chapters (for fun, no notes or cards or attempt to nail down details) 'studying', but it'll get me by most of my day-to-day med school requirements until exams pop up every few months.

Haha, fairly certain you do know, come to think of it. Honestly, it's incredibly chill though. No memorizing minutiae (or minimal), and I'm only at school 6-8hrs per week most weeks. Just had a week off, in fact! All I have to do is buckle down and prep Step and I'll be fine.

IIRC, didn't you score 40+ on the MCAT? What works for you may not necessarily work as well for the rest of us mere mortals...
 
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mehc012

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IIRC, didn't you score 40+ on the MCAT? What works for you may not necessarily work as well for the rest of us mere mortals...
Whoa, not trying to be a jerk here, sorry. My school has a really different setup than most, which Lannister implied they were aware of...trust me if you know my school (which is no secret given my post history but I'd prefer that people not blatantly post everywhere if they can help it) you know that it's far more the way it's run than anything an individual does that leads to the loose schedule.

And my first post was meant to do the opposite, really...I always think I don't study much, but then if I look at it, a lot of the things that I personally don't classify as 'studying', exactly, certainly help for the exam. I guess I tend to consider studying what you do to learn something permanently, and since I'm a bit of a perfectionist at times, things that aren't organized towards that goal, even if they help me short term, don't seem like studying to me.
 
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Aerus

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Literally everyone does what you are describing. Med students bond over complaining about school to each other. Maybe he's doing so well because he feels behind and studies a lot? Unless he's actively trying to invalidate you, it doesn't sound like your roommate is a gunner. I suggest seeing if he has any advice for you.
 
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Donald Juan

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I had a couple friends who made high As on every test say who would say things like, "omg I'm sooo behind this block" or "that test was so hard! I was guessing on half the questions!" I would just tell them how much I hated them, and that I hoped bad things happened to their children someday.
 
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