Concern about anti-lgbt behavior

[aaj117]

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Everybody just be cool w/ everybody else, unless they're an asshat. Then just make fun of them for who they are as a person. You know, hate them for who they are on the inside. 🙂

O, P.S. ... am I going to stand out for being the only straight person at an LGBT dinner?

You most likely will not be the only straight person, so no. But additionally, since you cant necessarily see sexuality the way you can skin color, it's not like you'd stick out like a sore thumb even if you were the only person. At my undergrad, our lgbt events were so well attended that more than half the people there were often straight allies. We would have hundreds of people show up to talks, ice cream socials, dinners, dances, drag shows; no one knew or asked or cared your sexual preference, just that you were comfortabel being there and supporting the community.

 

[suwaifo]

Get over it. If you don't want to go to the school because of this one guy's comment, then don't. I hate how people always want to make a huge deal out of every little thing.

This is the truth folks. Cry me a river.

 

[flaahless]

Dealt with? How? Give me a break. You're going to be dealing with patients who have been shooting blood from their anus like frat boys to a big screen, and you're going to be dealing with people who have been staying up all night, and you're going to be dealing with people who are about to die, and you're really going to let them offend you if they make a deragatory comment about black people? Who are you expecting to be your patients? ******ed people? Because that's pretty much the only way you can expect NOT to get insulted out in the real world.



Eh, I already covered white males in an earlier post. I figured, though, that you people wouldn't believe in racism towards white people, and that it's only a myth spread by the liberals to scare people into voting for more old white guys. I get that a lot.

Hahaha. Whoa whoa, the dealt with comment was largely misconstrued. I didn't mean to imply violence. I was simply saying that I disagree with the notion that I should "get over it" whenever someone makes a disrespectful comment. Naah, that's not happening. I'm going to confront them and handle the situation rather than bite my tongue and get over it. Why should I have to sit there and take it? Why should I have to get used to insults? If someone blatantly disrespects me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable, I'm letting them know.

 

[flaahless]

I'm shocked and amazed. I never thought that I would get threatened by one anonymous poster on a high-grade medical forum, considering that I'm another anonymous poster. Oh, wait, yes I did. I forgot that I seem to be the only one capable of shrugging of insulting comments by people who have no idea what they're talking about.

I'm not racist, and I haven't said anything racist. What I have said is that if you don't learn to deal with racism, or anti-feminism, or homophobia, or anti-chess team behavior, then it shows that you're pretty much:

A) One of those romantics who really believes that the world will realize what a suck pit it is and start apologizing to everyone, and eventually we'll all live in a big happy world where everyone on the planet engages in a big group hug of happiness that makes people's heads explode into candy.

or...

B) You've lived in a sheltered world, haven't ever heard a bad word before, don't understand why people can not like you based off of illogical reasons, and it's time to grow up.

or...

C) You get offended despite disbelief in the first two possibilities, and therefore are most likely WAY too sensitive to survive reputably in the real world, and need to rethink the idea of dealing with people on any level.

Okay man. I deal with racism on a weekly basis. Of course I let some stuff slide, but other things that people do or say is just so damn offensive that you have to check them on it. Why do I need to be the passive one? And dealing with racism is much more complicated than the 3 options you've listed above. Words hurt, they are offensive, they carry a LOT of weight. To expect someone not to get offended over words is completely ridiculous. Also, words can ignite violence and lead to more complex situations. I've had beer bottles thrown at me, rocks thrown at me, I've been shot at, almost ran over etc. all over some racist stuff. And I'm pretty sure that members of the LGBT community have experienced much of the same. So please do not simplify it to just, "you should turn the other cheek when someone says/does something disrespectful." It's much more than that.

And it wasn't my intention to threaten you over the internet. Hahaha, I was just saying that the passivism that you proclaim is not for me.

 

[Tin Man]

It's not even passivism that I'm endorsing. Being passive is not doing anything even if it bothers you. I have no problem with you reacting.

But the goal is ultimately to get a thicker skin and not let it bother you at all. Be bothered by things you can fix (if they even need fixing). If your grades are falling, then be bothered by that and fix it. If you're black, then don't worry about it, even if someone else has a problem with it. There are bigger concerns in life than some idiot's opinion.

 

[aaj117]

But the goal is ultimately to get a thicker skin and not let it bother you at all. Be bothered by things you can fix (if they even need fixing). If your grades are falling, then be bothered by that and fix it. If you're black, then don't worry about it, even if someone else has a problem with it. There are bigger concerns in life than some idiot's opinion.

This is something that definitely needs fixing, and it's not going to happen by everyone ignoring it until they don't get upset anymore. The more of us who are willing to stand up against it and say something back, the more it will change. I'm not pretending to be so nieve as to think that i as an individual can erase this, but if i can change the way one or two people look at it, and they affect one or two people, hopefully these problems will eventually abate. I know i sound ridiculously hopeful and all, but it's like an above poster said about how she used the word "retarted" all the time until someone told her how it offended them, and she realized it wasn't appropriate and removed it from her vocabulary. As an LGBT peer educator on my campus, i along with 30 others went into RA groups. one of the thigns we mentioned was saying something when you hear someone use the phrase "oh that's so gay", as a way of being an ally. And you know what? the phrase just about disappeared from my campus. So don't tell us we can't fix it, and that we shouldn't bother trying. We may not be able to fix the whole problem, but we can take small chips out of it and eventually, maybe it will disappear. If not at least i know i tried rather than just accepting it.

 

[bth7]

one of the things s we mentioned was saying something when you hear someone use the phrase "oh that's so gay", as a way of being an ally. And you know what? the phrase just about disappeared from my campus. So don't tell us we can't fix it, and that we shouldn't bother trying. We may not be able to fix the whole problem, but we can take small chips out of it and eventually, maybe it will disappear. If not at least i know i tried rather than just accepting it.

👍👍👍👍👍

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead



bth

 

[Textuality]

It's not even passivism that I'm endorsing. Being passive is not doing anything even if it bothers you. I have no problem with you reacting.

But the goal is ultimately to get a thicker skin and not let it bother you at all. Be bothered by things you can fix (if they even need fixing). If your grades are falling, then be bothered by that and fix it. If you're black, then don't worry about it, even if someone else has a problem with it. There are bigger concerns in life than some idiot's opinion.

True, I don't typically care what idiot's think, or what they say. As long as said idiot isn't someone in my med school class. And yes, I think that kind of thing needs fixing, and I think I can at least fix it so they keep whatever hurtful homophobic/racist opinions to themselves because I'd hate for a patient/reporter/attending to overhear him in clinic someday and have dispersion cast on my school and class because of one idiot who can't keep a handle on his manners. I certainly don't demand that all my classmates be ok and supportive of homosexuality (although I hope they are!), but I DO expect them to be courteous to their classmates. Is don't think that's too big a demand of a future doctor.

Haha, on a random but kind of funny note, someone left an comment on my mdapps calling me ugly. While that might be true..it's not really here nor there.. Guess we SDN kids really are quite ADD, 😛

 

[J1515]

Has the original poster ever been inside of a high school before? It's ridiculous to be even semi-openly gay and then get offended over every little comment. It's just the result of living in a sheltered world.

Gay people, black people, white people, women, men, soldiers, civilians, youth, the elderly, fat people, thin people, smart people, and stupid people will be attacked for who they are. It's life, and if you haven't been attacked for some reason or another, then welcome to the planet Earth. Enjoy your stay.

It doesn't show character to bring this up with the admissions. It just shows that you're easily offended, which is NOT a good trait for someone who will be working with sick, angry, tired, stressed people of all shapes, colors, and personalities. You aren't going to be changing the guy's mind on what he thinks about gay people, you aren't going to get him kicked out, and you may not even be able to prove he did anything. If you're going to be working with the public, it's time to put on big boy pants and get ready for the real world, where this is going to be coming up all the time, and you're going to be dealing with it constantly.

Nowhere am I saying that you should hide yourself from the world and repress who you are. But the guy didn't commit a crime, and for all intents and purposes, did nothing more than express an opinion verbally. He didn't even accuse you of being a "***", just asked if you were. Against you, that's freedom of speech. The school can't do anything about it, and in almost every case where this comes up, there won't be anything you can do about it. So the only real solution is to learn to deal with it now by getting a thicker skin, ESPECIALLY if you're not one to be afraid to express your sexuality openly.

Best post yet. I can't believe some of you people are advising the OP to go tell the dean of the school. Are you serious? He will get laughed right out of the admissions office. **** happens in the world. People are judgemental. It will happen whether you run and cry to mommy (or the dean) each time, or you post on an anonymous message board. Get a thicker skin and stand up to the person saying it next time if it really bothers you that much.

 

[Textuality]

Some guy at my school posted a "humorous" party invitation to a frat halloween party on facebook. Some people found it racist because it referenced "the ghetto" and was mocking popular african american pop culture icons, and demanded it get taken down. And it was...and the student and the frat were also suspended for 3 years. AND the NAACP got involved and demanded the faculty of hopkins undergo sensitivity training.

I personally thought all of that was way out of proportion to what was ultimately, a joke written in bad (and perhaps drunken) taste, but it just goes to show that school administrations do care to some degree about things like this.

 

[StealthNerd]

Yeah, f*ck it. Just pop that jackass in the mouth. Then say: "Hell yeah I'm a ***, and I just whopped your ***. Good day."

😀

And folks say violence doesn't solve anything.

 

[StealthNerd]

Some guy at my school posted a "humorous" party invitation to a frat halloween party on facebook. Some people found it racist because it referenced "the ghetto" and was mocking popular african american pop culture icons, and demanded it get taken down. And it was...and the student and the frat were also suspended for 3 years. AND the NAACP got involved and demanded the faculty of hopkins undergo sensitivity training.

I personally thought all of that was way out of proportion to what was ultimately, a joke written in bad (and perhaps drunken) taste, but it just goes to show that school administrations do care to some degree about things like this.

Does anyone know where in the sweet hell the term "african american" came from?? THEY'RE BLACK! (or brown, or shades inbetween) Just cause black people have more melanin then white people doesn't make them African. If you're actually African, then fine. But Africa is a continent. Be more specific. "Hi, I'm Todd. I'm a 22 year old straight black man. I'm Egyptian American, and enjoy playing frisbee."

What if Todd was black but just American? Now what? And I hate that argument of "well they all came from Africa at some point". Really. Did they now. Well ****, then I guess we're ALL African: Recent African Origin of Modern Humans

Kinda like I'm not "caucasian". I'm not from the Caucaus region. Hell, never even been to the Black Sea. Like one of my white friends is african american. No ****. It happens. He was born in South Africa and has a passport. Now how does he define his race? White. Why? Cause he has hardly any melanin and was born to two European parents.

I just wince whenever I hear "african american". I keep wanting to scream "WHERE IN AFRICA!??!"

As far as I'm concerned, if you can't trace your immigrant roots clearly back to another country within a generation or two then you're just plain old "American". That's it. No green card? No foriegn passport? Not eligible for one? Then "American" is all you are. ... Unless you're illegal. Then you're just an illegal alien from wherever.

Sorry, I'm off the LGBT topic again. 🙂

 

[StealthNerd]

O, and one of my black friends is half Sierra Leonian, half American, all black. Another black friend is just a mutt. Actually half mexican mutt, half american (black) mutt, racially looks black.

See. Crazy.

 

[Moshe Rabbenu]

I totally agree with you. My friend says the same thing about being from the Caucaus mountains. Also, I've seen on a bunch of things that under Caucasian/White, they include people from the Middle East/Mediterranean. Wtf?

 

[StealthNerd]

I totally agree with you. My friend says the same thing about being from the Caucaus mountains. Also, I've seen on a bunch of things that under Caucasian/White, they include people from the Middle East/Mediterranean. Wtf?

Yeah I dunno man. It's nuts. ... If you're from the Middle East (ethnically that is) then you're most likely (MOST LIKELY) Arab or Persian. They'll be some blacks and some whites thrown in for flavor. But mostly arab/persian.

But hey, back on the LGBT topic.

Who all watches "L Word"? Man, what a fantastic show. If you're not watching it, then don't start. It's like crack. My lesbian friend got me hooked on it and I can't get off. I'm on Season 3. God help me... I gotta study. 🙂

 

[aaj117]

Yeah I dunno man. It's nuts. ... If you're from the Middle East (ethnically that is) then you're most likely (MOST LIKELY) Arab or Persian. They'll be some blacks and some whites thrown in for flavor. But mostly arab/persian.

But hey, back on the LGBT topic.

Who all watches "L Word"? Man, what a fantastic show. If you're not watching it, then don't start. It's like crack. My lesbian friend got me hooked on it and I can't get off. I'm on Season 3. God help me... I gotta study. 🙂

This weeks episode was quite possibly the hottest thing i've ever seen. Between Tasha and Alice, Shane and the straight girl, Bette and Tina, and Max and Jodi's interpreter....well, yeah. It was nothing short of amazing. I still want to know for sure who burned down shane's hair salon. But i really miss Carmen, i wish she was still on the show. Haha still offtopic, but veering closer, and definitely more fun, so i'm for that convo!

 

[flaahless]

Does anyone know where in the sweet hell the term "african american" came from?? THEY'RE BLACK! (or brown, or shades inbetween) Just cause black people have more melanin then white people doesn't make them African. If you're actually African, then fine. But Africa is a continent. Be more specific. "Hi, I'm Todd. I'm a 22 year old straight black man. I'm Egyptian American, and enjoy playing frisbee."

What if Todd was black but just American? Now what? And I hate that argument of "well they all came from Africa at some point". Really. Did they now. Well ****, then I guess we're ALL African: Recent African Origin of Modern Humans

Kinda like I'm not "caucasian". I'm not from the Caucaus region. Hell, never even been to the Black Sea. Like one of my white friends is african american. No ****. It happens. He was born in South Africa and has a passport. Now how does he define his race? White. Why? Cause he has hardly any melanin and was born to two European parents.

I just wince whenever I hear "african american". I keep wanting to scream "WHERE IN AFRICA!??!"

As far as I'm concerned, if you can't trace your immigrant roots clearly back to another country within a generation or two then you're just plain old "American". That's it. No green card? No foriegn passport? Not eligible for one? Then "American" is all you are. ... Unless you're illegal. Then you're just an illegal alien from wherever.

Sorry, I'm off the LGBT topic again. 🙂

Wow.

Well, the term "African American" originated in the 1960s during the black power and civil rights movements. A group of students from UC Berkeley and UCLA began to challenge the canon of society and began to reject the opressive conventions of dominant white america. As a result, the "black" students at Cal and UCLA did not like being categorized as black because they felt the name was forced upon them by an opressive, predominantly white government, and wanted to categorize themselves on their own terms. They rejected forced names like "colored, negro, black etc" and sought out to develop their own name. They chose African American because it paid homage to our ancestry and did not classify us by our melanin content.

The term "African American" symbolizes our autonomy in naming ourselves. You're right, I don't know where in Africa I am from. But I refuse to let someone dictate to me what I am (ie: black) and African American sounds much better than say.... "slave progeny."

Sorry if African American offends you, but please respect and invididual's decision to be called "African American" instead of "black." It's a case by case basis, not everyone is accepts the term. To each their own.

EDIT: A similar trend occured in San Francisco in the 70s with the Asian American population. They rejected the term "oriental" and opted for Asian American. Respect it.

 

[Tin Man]

This is something that definitely needs fixing, and it's not going to happen by everyone ignoring it until they don't get upset anymore. The more of us who are willing to stand up against it and say something back, the more it will change. I'm not pretending to be so nieve as to think that i as an individual can erase this, but if i can change the way one or two people look at it, and they affect one or two people, hopefully these problems will eventually abate. I know i sound ridiculously hopeful and all, but it's like an above poster said about how she used the word "retarted" all the time until someone told her how it offended them, and she realized it wasn't appropriate and removed it from her vocabulary. As an LGBT peer educator on my campus, i along with 30 others went into RA groups. one of the thigns we mentioned was saying something when you hear someone use the phrase "oh that's so gay", as a way of being an ally. And you know what? the phrase just about disappeared from my campus. So don't tell us we can't fix it, and that we shouldn't bother trying. We may not be able to fix the whole problem, but we can take small chips out of it and eventually, maybe it will disappear. If not at least i know i tried rather than just accepting it.

It's not going to disappear any more than racism is going to disappear, or anti-feminism is going to disappear. We may get more and more laws protecting those people, but the mindset just isn't going to change.

It's great you're optomistic about the future, I suppose, but I won't be around during the future, and I would bet dollars to donuts that the future isn't going to be any different than it is now (given that the present isn't really all that different from the past). It may eventually become more socially unacceptable to attack someone's homosexuality, but once you're out of the social arena, anything goes.

I don't waste my time trying to change things that, even if they are changed, are only "chipped" away. Words aren't going to kill anybody, and the people who kill gay people for being gay aren't going to be stopped by words. So the less time I worry about trying to change the unchangeable, the more time I have to dedicate to actually studying something that CAN save lives in the future.

The gay movement cannot be repressed unless it chooses to be repressed. Who cares if you're a "***?" You know what it means; you're gay. And if you are, you have no reason to be offended by it. Just move on. If you're offended by it, then you're showing that you can be embarrassed for being who you are, which is absolutely ridiculous. Stop getting offended when people call you "black", or "gay", or whatever. If you are, you are, and any negative connotation simply reflects whatever the speaker's opinion on such people is, which really doesn't matter at all.

Stop caring what people think about you and move on with your life.

 

[flaahless]

The gay movement cannot be repressed unless it chooses to be repressed. Who cares if you're a "***?" You know what it means; you're gay. And if you are, you have no reason to be offended by it. Just move on. If you're offended by it, then you're showing that you can be embarrassed for being who you are, which is absolutely ridiculous. Stop getting offended when people call you "black", or "gay", or whatever. If you are, you are, and any negative connotation simply reflects whatever the speaker's opinion on such people is, which really doesn't matter at all.

Stop caring what people think about you and move on with your life.

So derogatory and disrespectful language should be tolerated rather than reprimanded? Naah.

EDIT: My point isn't that... "ohh, someone called me black (or gay) so i'm gonna blow up and flip out on them." That's ridiculous. But some terms such as the N word, or the F word for the LGBT community, cross the line and need to be dealt with. At the very least just be like, "yo, that term bothers me a bit can you tone it down please?" What's wrong with that? If it escalates, it escalates. But I see no fault in respectfully confronting someone who is being disrespectful, and letting them know you are offended.

 

[In Vino Veritas]

Two thoughts:

1) Has anyone posting on this thread who is of the "just suck it up and accept hate speech" school of mind ever been discriminated against?

2) I know y'all are going to be doctors, not lawyers, but FYI, "I was drunk"/"He was drunk" doesn't really fly as an excuse in the court of law or, well, anywhere. Just ask Mel Gibson.

 

[Textuality]

Stop caring what people think about you and move on with your life.

Good advice, I'll start by not caring about what you think about my belief in the ability to change and educate people. Call me naive, I think it's possible. Women once weren't allowed to be physicians, and now we are, I'd call that change. Anti-feminists are out there, sure, but on a societal level, the way women are viewed has definitely changed for the better. Homosexuals used to have to live in the closet to be part of society, but now it's much more accepted, and I think that trend can be continued by people like me and aaj who make it known that we expect respect. No one's saying that we can eradicate all racists/homophobes from the world, but I DO believe that those mindsets are worth fighting against, and that making our community more tolerant and open minded IS something worth the effort, even if it doesn't directly save lives. It at least makes life more comfortable for those discriminated against.

For me, being a doctor is about saving lives, but also about improving lives. And I think combating derogatory and malicious racisms/homophobia/ etc is something that can improve the lives of the people that are targeted.

 

[InfinitePour]

Superficial politeness scares me.

If you are complimentary to everyone, even those you distrust or disapprove of, I can never know for sure whether you distrust or disappove of me.

If you are open in you disappoval of those who you disappove of, then I can potentially trust you for I need not fear that you secretly hate me.

Mandating social respect fosters hate and ignorance. If the racist/homophobe/whatever cannot openly discuss his opinions, then the validity of his arguments will never be challenged. He will find those with similar views to discuss his ideas privately, which will only strenghten his resolve and ignorance.

It is the black/gay individual who forgives and befriends racists/homophobes who shows them the error of their ways. Instititional confrontation or personal aggression just creates further hate and polarization.

 

[Drogba]

A couple of responses to themes more so than actual posts.

"Racism will always be around so get over it."

Racism, like any other cultural perception is very much subject to change. Comparing the level of racism 50 years ago to today will show that very clearly. Why would anyone advise passivety in the matter of changing perceptions and reducing biases? Where would we be today if many dedicated people did not labor to increase awareness and decrease stigma for a variety of marginalized groups? Thick skin is not idle acceptance of prejudice. Now if you have the energy or will to speak out against prejudice whenever it is expressed is another story. Thats very much a personal decision. It is easy to say get a thick skin and move on when you aren't aware of the deleterious effects of racism and it is not a part of your everyday life.

Re: organized professional african american groups.

I don't understand what is wrong with people who have a similar lived experience grouping together as a community and providing a source of encouragement and strength for one another. This thread itself is a testament to the necessity of the formation of such groups. It is pretty apparent that many people "don't get it." I'm fairly certain that if you approach anyone of these groups with sincerity and solidarity that they would welcome your participation.

 

[Textuality]

Superficial politeness scares me.


Mandating social respect fosters hate and ignorance. If the racist/homophobe/whatever cannot openly discuss his opinions, then the validity of his arguments will never be challenged. He will find those with similar views to discuss his ideas privately, which will only strenghten his resolve and ignorance.

I don't think any of us are advocating infringement on someone's freedom to voice their opinions, as long as they do it respectfully. There's a difference between "It is my personal belief that homosexuality is immoral and weakens societal morality" and "Go to hell you f*ing fags!". Even if we allow people to speak as hatefully and as profanely as they want in public, if the hatred is that stong, he'll STILL find others of similar views to discuss it privately. So the only real difference is the lack of riots in the streets, and so that target groups don't need to face threats and the feeling of persecution on a daily basis. Basically, there are appropriate ways to express your opinions, and using derogatory words/name calling isn't the way to go.

 

[Moshe Rabbenu]

Last time I checked, a white guy calling a black guy a N-word to his face isn't protected by the first ammendment, since it is likely to result in violence; speech that incites an immediate "breach of peace" or something like that isn't protected. I'm sure a few of the lawyers on here could correct me if I'm wrong, but I would think that if someone called you a F-word in a derrogatory sense to your face, that wouldn't be protected either, or, if someone called me a ****.

I just can't believe that someone can sit there and condone just "taking it" and moving on. Obviously, they have never been failed by a 3rd grade teacher for having a "Jewish last name", or had pennies thrown at them at a bus stop by adults. As far as I'm concerned, you telling me to just "get over it" is just as bad as saying something derrogatory.

 

[BMBPSU2008]

Last time I checked, a white guy calling a black guy a N-word to his face isn't protected by the first ammendment, since it is likely to result in violence; speech that incites an immediate "breach of peace" or something like that isn't protected. I'm sure a few of the lawyers on here could correct me if I'm wrong, but I would think that if someone called you a F-word in a derrogatory sense to your face, that wouldn't be protected either, or, if someone called me a ****.

I just can't believe that someone can sit there and condone just "taking it" and moving on. Obviously, they have never been failed by a 3rd grade teacher for having a "Jewish last name", or had pennies thrown at them at a bus stop by adults. As far as I'm concerned, you telling me to just "get over it" is just as bad as saying something derrogatory.

 

[armybound]

Wow.

Well, the term "African American" originated in the 1960s during the black power and civil rights movements. A group of students from UC Berkeley and UCLA began to challenge the canon of society and began to reject the opressive conventions of dominant white america. As a result, the "black" students at Cal and UCLA did not like being categorized as black because they felt the name was forced upon them by an opressive, predominantly white government, and wanted to categorize themselves on their own terms. They rejected forced names like "colored, negro, black etc" and sought out to develop their own name. They chose African American because it paid homage to our ancestry and did not classify us by our melanin content.

The term "African American" symbolizes our autonomy in naming ourselves. You're right, I don't know where in Africa I am from. But I refuse to let someone dictate to me what I am (ie: black) and African American sounds much better than say.... "slave progeny."

Sorry if African American offends you, but please respect and invididual's decision to be called "African American" instead of "black." It's a case by case basis, not everyone is accepts the term. To each their own.

EDIT: A similar trend occured in San Francisco in the 70s with the Asian American population. They rejected the term "oriental" and opted for Asian American. Respect it.

just curious (not in an inflammatory way), but do you call the melanin-challenged individuals "white"? it would seem a bit hypocritical of someone who is offended by being called "black".

just asking.

 

[Tin Man]

My point isn't that... "ohh, someone called me black (or gay) so i'm gonna blow up and flip out on them." That's ridiculous. But some terms such as the N word, or the F word for the LGBT community, cross the line and need to be dealt with. At the very least just be like, "yo, that term bothers me a bit can you tone it down please?" What's wrong with that? If it escalates, it escalates. But I see no fault in respectfully confronting someone who is being disrespectful, and letting them know you are offended.

It really shouldn't escalate, and once again, I'm not saying that these people are not being insulting. What I am saying is that you have much better things to do with your time than to deal with them. They are only insulting if you allow yourself to be insulted. Words are the least of your problems.

Good advice, I'll start by not caring about what you think about my belief in the ability to change and educate people. Call me naive, I think it's possible. Women once weren't allowed to be physicians, and now we are, I'd call that change. Anti-feminists are out there, sure, but on a societal level, the way women are viewed has definitely changed for the better. Homosexuals used to have to live in the closet to be part of society, but now it's much more accepted, and I think that trend can be continued by people like me and aaj who make it known that we expect respect. No one's saying that we can eradicate all racists/homophobes from the world, but I DO believe that those mindsets are worth fighting against, and that making our community more tolerant and open minded IS something worth the effort, even if it doesn't directly save lives. It at least makes life more comfortable for those discriminated against.

You're separating the issues to make your point more valid. If the original poster was not being allowed into medical school due to sexual preference, your argument would make sense. But you can't win a war against an idea. What you're essentially trying to do is trying to say, "I want to fight stupidity around the world!" Please.

I hear this all the time. The idea of fighting against sexism, racism, and homophobia is noble and all, but in the end, it doesn't amount to anything. You don't cause the person to think about their actions when you stand up to a homophobe. You just make it look like you did.

Keep in mind that every time you let yourself get upset with any comment, you're lending credence to the original statement. When someone calls you a "***", then essentially they are saying, "Being gay is wrong!". That's pretty much it. Any derogatory comment reflects it, such as, "Being a girl is wrong!", or "Being black is wrong!". I have no problem getting ticked at people who let derogatory problems bother them, because that's only acknowledging that people who say, "Being gay is wrong!" actually have a point worth getting emotional about.

Seriously. I lend as much credence to someone saying, "I think wearing that watch is wrong!". My thought is "Oh." I just can't wrap my mind around why you and everyone else who gets offended at having your sexuality, race, or gender challenged.

It's not going to go away so long as we have unintelligent people in the world, so it's time to stop pretending that:

A) We can cure stupidity by asking them to stop (or punching them).
B) They're really saying anything worth listening to, much less getting hurt over.
C) We don't have better things to do than to fight against stupidity.

Aren't you all trying to get into medical school or something? Doesn't that require studying? Surely you have more self-confidence in yourself than to get da' sniffowls over some ***** expressing an illogical hatred of something that generally can't be controlled.

 

[Drogba]

just curious (not in an inflammatory way), but do you call the melanin-challenged individuals "white"? it would seem a bit hypocritical of someone who is offended by being called "black".

just asking.

My understanding is that few people consider "black" to be offensive word today. In fact, our official documents use this racial category. However, if one is to agree with flaahless's reading of history then suggesting black and white are equivalent rhetorical categories would be incorrect. Words are not without history. They are often imbued with meaning beyond what you will find in merriam webster.

 

[Tin Man]

My understanding is that few people consider "black" to be offensive word today. In fact, our official documents use this racial category. However, if one is to agree with flaahless's reading of history then suggesting black and white are equivalent rhetorical categories would be incorrect. Words are not without history. They are often imbued with meaning beyond what you will find in merriam webster.

Yeah... it's normal to think that the word "black" has a meaning other than "dark color"...

It's stupid for anyone to have to be put in the air because every black person has a different standard as to what they want to be called. Some prefer "African-American" and will correct you if you use anything else. Some hate being called "African-American", and will claim to be an American just like everyone else, and would rather be called black. Still others come up with their own names.

No, this is one of those situations where each side has to give a little. I'm not any more an Italian-American than another person is an African-American, so that term is stupid. I am white, however, and most people realize that if I am white, then another person would be black. Anything else depends on context, and the word "black" should be judged within the context that it is used, not simply as a stand-alone word.

 

[BMBPSU2008]

No, this is one of those situations where each side has to give a little. I'm not any more an Italian-American than another person is an African-American, so that term is stupid ...snip

So there are Italian-American pre-meds out there... Represent.

 

[Textuality]

Whatever, I'm done arguing, Like Drogba says, if you've never lived it, you just won't GET IT. It's a passion you just won't be able to feel. But since I've already made it into med school, I can spare a little time to put up a little fight over racism and homophobia in my peers, what can I say, even if it's useless and has no effect in the end, it makes me happy. 🙂 And I do what makes me happy. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Oh, side note: Danny Noriaga got voted off american idol. I actually don't really watch that show, but I just caught him getting kicked off, and they were showing flash backs, and the boy is ADORABLE. Kudos to him for being himself, blatant gayness and all!

 

[Cegar]

Whatever, I'm done arguing, Like Drogba says, if you've never lived it, you just won't GET IT. It's a passion you just won't be able to feel. But since I've already made it into med school, I can spare a little time to put up a little fight over racism and homophobia in my peers, what can I say, even if it's useless and has no effect in the end, it makes me happy. 🙂 And I do what makes me happy. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Oh, side note: Danny Noriaga got voted off american idol. I actually don't really watch that show, but I just caught him getting kicked off, and they were showing flash backs, and the boy is ADORABLE. Kudos to him for being himself, blatant gayness and all!

🙄

 

[Textuality]

🙄

Haha, I can only be serious for so long before I revert to my normal, whimsical self. I think we've amply discussed the OP's issue, and everyone's made the point they wanted to make. Cool, we'll just agree to disagree. Also, I just got back from taekwondo practice and I'm just feelin goofy...maybe it was all the spin kicks...

MARCH! I both love and hate this month.
Love: Spring! The finale of project runway. Spring break!
Hate: The waaaiiiiting until the end of march to hear the rest of med school decisions to get some closure.

Happy spring guys! I hope you guys are getting some warmer weather too!

 

[Cegar]

Haha, I can only be serious for so long before I revert to my normal, whimsical self. That, and I just got back from taekwondo practice and I'm just feelin goofy.

MARCH! I both love and hate this month.
Love: Spring! The finale of project runway. Spring break!
Hate: The waaaiiiiting until the end of march to hear the rest of med school decisions to get some closure.

Happy spring guys! I hope you guys are getting some warmer weather too!

Oh, the emoticon wasn't about that at all.

 

[Textuality]

Aw, Ronnie and Ben are going to pose together in Make Me a Supermodel. So cute.

(I'm not trying to change the subject...nah....)

So Cegar, do you actually like cegars?

 

[Cegar]

Aw, Ronnie and Ben are going to pose together in Make Me a Supermodel. So cute.

(I'm not trying to change the subject...nah....)

So Cegar, do you actually like cegars?

Cigars.

And yeah. I do. I almost never smoke them though.

If it weren't for, you know, the likely future diseases, I would smoke a few a day.

 

[bodonid]

edit

 

[Textuality]

who could possibly be against little girls with big titties?

I love SDN...so random! Haha, what's that from or for? Or are you just having a moment?

 

[bodonid]

I love SDN...so random! Haha, what's that from or for? Or are you just having a moment?

concern about anti-l.g.b.t.

 

[Textuality]

concern about anti-l.g.b.t.

Haha...nice.

 

[bodonid]

And I left the post up for all of one minute, and you still managed to quote me on it. I have the worst luck-

Oh well, if anyone is offended, bite me.

 

[suwaifo]

You may think that being passive against racism and what wouldn't won't work. You must also have never watched t.v as a kid or been to kindergarten. Haters love it when people get upset over stuff that doesn't matter. To the haters, it may matter a lot to them, but universally, it's just petty hatred.

Changing people's thoughts and accepting negative comments directed towards you are two totally different things. Just because you accept that shiz happens doesn't mean you aren't helping to change the shiz in the world.

If you're "peers" are racist and homophobic, you need better "peers" or just stick with being alone for a while and do what you can to change things. There's no room for crying in here. People need to stop making exceptions for themselves.

"It is pretty apparent that many people "don't get it.""
People do get it. Most people have better things to do though then get worked up over some douchebags.

 

[flaahless]

just curious (not in an inflammatory way), but do you call the melanin-challenged individuals "white"? it would seem a bit hypocritical of someone who is offended by being called "black".

just asking.

Naah. I try not to refer to people by their skin color. If I have to reference someone I describe what they are wearing, and if I absolutely must, I will say "fair skinned."

When I refer to demographics I say caucasian. However, I guess I do use white when I'm talking about historical references. Like, "predominant white america of the early 1920s." I don't know. It's difficult to explain.

 

[flaahless]

Yeah... it's normal to think that the word "black" has a meaning other than "dark color"...

It's stupid for anyone to have to be put in the air because every black person has a different standard as to what they want to be called. Some prefer "African-American" and will correct you if you use anything else. Some hate being called "African-American", and will claim to be an American just like everyone else, and would rather be called black. Still others come up with their own names.

No, this is one of those situations where each side has to give a little. I'm not any more an Italian-American than another person is an African-American, so that term is stupid. I am white, however, and most people realize that if I am white, then another person would be black. Anything else depends on context, and the word "black" should be judged within the context that it is used, not simply as a stand-alone word.

You are absolutely right. My point is to respect someone's choice to be called whatever they want, rather than being like.... "the term African American is stupid." That's pretentious, condescending and rude.

 

[bodonid]

"It is pretty apparent that many people "don't get it.""
People do get it. Most people have better things to do though then get worked up over some douchebags.

I have known several people in my college career that seemed like really cool, rational people. They weren't racist or sexist, and knew why they weren't. But I was surprised to find that a lot of those people aren't as objective and rational when it comes to sexuality. And the thing that bothers me is that these people think their opinions are just one of many equal opinions, like taking a stance on a political issue. So I don't really think people "get it", or at least where I am from at this point in time.

 

[Tin Man]

Whatever, I'm done arguing, Like Drogba says, if you've never lived it, you just won't GET IT. It's a passion you just won't be able to feel.

You're pretty quick to assume that I am not in your situation.

Aren't you the one who's saying not to judge people before you know them? I haven't told you anything about myself, so if you're going to make the point that we shouldn't judge people just based on their outward appearance, perhaps you should lead the tradition.

 

[armybound]

You are absolutely right. My point is to respect someone's choice to be called whatever they want, rather than being like.... "the term African American is stupid." That's pretentious, condescending and rude.

the problem is that there are so many different terms that could be used that no one knows what to use. as a white person, I can tell you that a lot of the time I'm literally afraid around black people because I feel like I'm one wrong word away from getting my *** kicked.

this may or may not be something black/african american people consider. white people actually largely feel like they're discriminated against by blacks.

 

[suwaifo]

I have known several people in my college career that seemed like really cool, rational people. They weren't racist or sexist, and knew why they weren't. But I was surprised to find that a lot of those people aren't as objective and rational when it comes to sexuality. And the thing that bothers me is that these people think their opinions are just one of many equal opinions, like taking a stance on a political issue. So I don't really think people "get it", or at least where I am from at this point in time.

Let me rephrase myself then. Some people do get it, some people don't. Good luck finding the people that do get it because it's not supposed to be easy. No one ever said it was.

People can have opinions though and if you want to be rational about sexuality, that's going to be pretty tough. Being rational about the freedom to choose what you like is different though. I'm not gay and I don't care if anyone is but I hate it when people get all over my face about stupid stuff like that, it gets annoying. When people approach others like that, they pretty much are asking your opinion. Either that or they like to hear themselves talk.

These are personal issues. Deal with them personally. The bottom line is you can get over being hurt or you can't. Changing people is a totally different story and if you know anything about American history, oppression is pretty much how we got to where we are now. Accepting freedom also is accepting the fact that some might not use it appropriately.

 

[Jolie South]

the problem is that there are so many different terms that could be used that no one knows what to use. as a white person, I can tell you that a lot of the time I'm literally afraid around black people because I feel like I'm one wrong word away from getting my *** kicked.

this may or may not be something black/african american people consider. white people actually largely feel like they're discriminated against by blacks.

i want to second this opinion. i feel like this too a lot of times, especially when i'm with my husband (who is African).

when i was in africa, you could call a spade a spade. i'm white. you're black. it was simple. i realize the history is way different, but i didn't feel uncomfortable and people never made it an issue.

i don't want to offend anybody, but it's like walking on eggshells here.