Critique my personals ad

[VenusinFurs]

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Hey guys I have decided to write a personals ad based on my recent dating experiences as a semi-attractive and semi-nice resident in a poorly populated area!

Hello! I am a kind of hot doctor who is kind of nice and I am single and ready to mingle! Do you meet some or all of these criteria? Then maybe we will get along!

- maybe shower most days?
- know where the clitoris is located, roughly
- try not to be actively horrible

The following would be a plus:

-agree to drive some of the time when we go places together
-don't eat most of the pizza I order and pay for on several occasions, as well as several home cooked meals I make for you, and then complain that waitstaff at restaurants often bring us one check.
-don't yell at me for "having expectations" when I ask if you'd like to skype and you live far away
-don't say "I like ribs" when I say I like you

What do you all think?

 

[SkipJunior]

Hey guys I have decided to write a personals ad based on my recent dating experiences as a semi-attractive and semi-nice resident in a poorly populated area!

Hello! I am a kind of hot doctor who is kind of nice and I am single and ready to mingle! Do you meet some or all of these criteria? Then maybe we will get along!

- maybe shower most days?
- know where the clitoris is located, roughly
- try not to be actively horrible

The following would be a plus:

-agree to drive some of the time when we go places together
-don't eat most of the pizza I order and pay for on several occasions, as well as several home cooked meals I make for you, and then complain that waitstaff at restaurants often bring us one check.
-don't yell at me for "having expectations" when I ask if you'd like to skype and you live far away
-don't say "I like ribs" when I say I like you

What do you all think?

It's funny, I like that. Also looks like you have low expectations. Why not ask for a pic too and make being employed in a full-time job one of the criteria? Then you're less likely to respond to someone who you don't find attractive or who may be a social misfit.

 

[VenusinFurs]

Ha ha ha

I mean, I do have low expectations, but this is not actually an ad I'm going to post. What I am trying to say is I have had some not great experiences.

 

[SkipJunior]

Ha ha ha

I mean, I do have low expectations, but this is not actually an ad I'm going to post. What I am trying to say is I have had some not great experiences.

oh okay lol, I thought you were going to post that. Why don't you pay for a more selective matchmaking agency? After all, wouldn't you want someone with a similar socioeconomic level and educational background?

 

[WildZoo]

know where the clitoris is located, roughly

There's a thread for that
Where is the clitoris?????

don't say "I like ribs" when I say I like you

What if ribs is my nickname for you? 😀

 

[touchpause13]

How is the clitoris not the first thing on your list

 

[BDUS]

Hey guys I have decided to write a personals ad based on my recent dating experiences as a semi-attractive and semi-nice resident in a poorly populated area!

Hello! I am a kind of hot doctor who is kind of nice and I am single and ready to mingle! Do you meet some or all of these criteria? Then maybe we will get along!

- maybe shower most days?
- know where the clitoris is located, roughly
- try not to be actively horrible

The following would be a plus:

-agree to drive some of the time when we go places together
-don't eat most of the pizza I order and pay for on several occasions, as well as several home cooked meals I make for you, and then complain that waitstaff at restaurants often bring us one check.
-don't yell at me for "having expectations" when I ask if you'd like to skype and you live far away
-don't say "I like ribs" when I say I like you

What do you all think?

 

[VenusinFurs]

SDN: Where jokes go to die.

 

[WildZoo]

SDN: Where jokes go to die.

The amount of "whoosh!" in this thread is astounding

 

[NeedToStudy]

Thank god this is a joke. Believe it or not I have actually seen serious profiles on okcupid that look like the OP. Some people need serious social skills training.

 

[BDUS]

Thank god this is a joke. Believe it or not I have actually seen serious profiles on okcupid that look like the OP. Some people need serious social skills training.

I had the same problem..when I first read the op's post (didn't read the entire thread)

 

[VenusinFurs]

"I want someone who doesn't play games" is an insta-NOPE for me.

But like, seriously, is it not obvious I am joking? Maybe I need to work on my jokes 🙁


I mean I'm not joking that dating is horrible and anxiety inducing

 

[NeedToStudy]

"I want someone who doesn't play games" is an insta-NOPE for me.

But like, seriously, is it not obvious I am joking? Maybe I need to work on my jokes 🙁


I mean I'm not joking that dating is horrible and anxiety inducing

Let me love you baby.

 

[VenusinFurs]

Well, that was a mildly creepy necrobump!

 

[NeedToStudy]

Well, that was a mildly creepy necrobump!

You're welcome

 

[VenusinFurs]

Are you good looking and/ or good at oral sex?

 

[NeedToStudy]

Are you good looking and/ or good at oral sex?

Well I've never done either so...... maybe