I'd say that in each entering Class of mine, at least two couples will form, and end up getting married.
I was just offering my personal advice; OP can take it or leave it, idc either way.
Do you ask them for a list of partners before finding value in them or? curious
In medical school, you'll learn that the brain has two sides, left and right..........swipe #tinder #bumble
Not the same thing at all, man. I speak easily in groups, put myself forward in clinical settings, ask for chances to try procedures (even though it's pretty intimidating with the patient watching you expecting that you know what you're doing) and interviews, etc. In class and small group, I am often told that, if anything, I could improve by putting myself forward less so that others who are less comfortable speaking have more opportunity to do so, even if it takes them longer to speak.
I never said they were the exact same thing. Just that they are related. Please don't be putting words into my mouth. Also, the bolded is just plain rude. You either say "I like you" or "I don't like you like that," not ghost on someone like an immature teenager. Like c'mon, we're adults.
This is NOT being desperate...it's completely normal. Worst thing that could happen is he says no. Also, yes, you do have to make yourself vulnerable in order to be in a meaningful relationship, romantic or otherwise. Lots of med students put up facades because they don't want to show their vulnerability in a hyper-competitive environment. I'm just as guilty of doing it as much as the next person. But I wouldn't have made good friends here in med school without letting down my walls and showing them that I'm just as vulnerable and human as anyone else.Preach!!!
When it comes to small groups, presentations, social circles, etc I’m completely fine. I may be introverted but that doesn’t mean I have 0 social skills. I guess that’s a common misconception with us quieter folks. When I see a guy I “like” though, my face would flush BRIGHT RED and I would get heart palpitations. And that makes me feel pretty pathetic/weak..😳 I’m used to feeling like my normal self. It’s hard to make yourself vulnerable but I guess that’s the price one has to pay to be in a relationship.
I always thought that relationships were a hassle and often unnecessary — cue seeing drama, break ups, and the obligation to see each other every day.
I want to give it a try now but it’s def difficult to know where to start. If a girl asked a guy out for coffee would that be too awkward? I cant imagine how else to ask someone out on a date. Apparently being too direct = seen as desparate.
You explicitly said that OP would have trouble with all of the examples you gave if they had difficulty talking to guys. You didn't say they might have difficulty, or that the two were related - I would probably not have commented then even though I still think you're overestimating the strength of the relationship. However, you equated them without me putting any words into your mouth.
We have a few couples in our med school class, but most of the classmates I know with SOs, are dating outside of med school. Seems to work well for them!
Lol I have to go to work tomorrow morning, otherwise I would be doing something more fun and exciting right now.
You're right, my bad. My original statement was too harsh and overgeneralized - OP deserves better advice. Also, I'm really sorry you've had bad experiences with guys not getting the hint. I personally believe it would be easier if everyone was upfront about what they wanted in a relationship, whether you're a dude or a chick. I don't want to argue with you over something petty like this - I actually have much respect for you and many of your posts. Thanks for keeping it real, mehc!
I mean, maybe it would help to be looking for a person rather than a 'mate' with a good salary potential?
Thanks for the tips! It's especially nice how you framed it as 'taking care of yourself' to make it feel more caring and less douchey as it came out. In return, I'd like to invite you to improve your own chances by maybe not saying the things that go through your head to actual other humans.
What you said was douchey, and I called it out. Hell, you as much as called it out yourself, you just prefer the term 'shallow'. I'm sure that the majority of things you say that aren't about women and how they ought to look/date are very nice, and I don't have basis to say that you are a douche overall (so I didn't). But my main dating 'goal' is to avoid people who approach dating in any of the ways expressed thus far in this thread, so if that's being too picky, I'll accept that and consider it an overall win.
I feel like this is the best way to go about things, but it seems like that would be challenging in med school, where many people have just moved and so don't have a lot of friends in the area. After all, if you don't know the friend any better than the potential partner, it's not much in the way of a recommendation!
When did I ever say that? I have no plans to get involved in that conversation at all; it sounds like a great way for everyone involved to make themselves sound like a tool and accomplish nothing.
You think? Of course he is. Every guy-friend in the history of guy friends is playing the long game. Who cares if you're going different directions. Do you still have your first bicycle? How many favorite jeans have come and gone? Just have fun and don't overthink everything.
Oh no, I'm absolutely picky, but then, I'm not looking to get into the dating game. It's not that I'm picky about people, I just don't like the game, so I don't play. Certainly not gonna risk a good friendship just for a date.
