Army Dealing with Spouse and Elderly Parents while completing my required 8 years

[On the cusp]

Hello,

I'm wrestling with some concerns about my family that will come up over the next 12 years. These concerns are making me really question the HPSP path. If anyone else out there has dealt with similar issues while in the military, please share with me how you handled it.

1) My parents are old. They're independent and everything right now, but they may need me around eventually.

When I finish medical school my dad will be 76 and my mom will be 73. I luckily got into a medical school close to where they live, which has made them since I was out of state for the last 10+ years. I have to move several states away if I do the Army Pathology Residency for ~4 years. Then another ~4 years somewhere else to finish the active duty.

By the time I fulfill my obligation to the Army, my dad would be 84 and my mom, 81...

I was considering trying to get a civilian pathology residency in the same state as them so at least i would be near them for another 4 years after school in case they need me.
Then I would leave to do the 8 years when they were 80 and 77...which also sounds a little ...


2) My spouse is not in the military. He's just a regular guy with a regular crappy corporate job, which luckily was able to transfer him this first time near the medical school. I'm am concerned about uprooting him so often--for the Army residency and at least one more time when i get stationed somewhere. Has anyone else been married while doing the HPSP and had to move your spouse around?


Do I have too much family baggage to do this military thing?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[deleted480308]

Too much is a subjective term......you are absolutely going to move, you get to decide if you are willing to deal with that to be military

 

[WernickeDO]

OP, you are hitting on one of the main drawbacks of milmed: The lack of control over your own medical career. If you have family that you want to stay near or a spouse that has a career of their own, then stay far, far away from the military. It will be difficult to stay close to your elderly parents and your spouse while you are on an unaccompanied tour to Korea or Egypt for "broadening". Additionally, there may be a residency local to your school in pathology (or whatever else you choose) that doesn't involve moving. Why bind yourself to a bunch of variables?

 

[Helpful Troll]

Hello,
I was considering trying to get a civilian pathology residency in the same state as them so at least i would be near them for another 4 years after school in case they need me.
Then I would leave to do the 8 years when they were 80 and 77...which also sounds a little ...

It doesn't work this way. If you take the HPSP $ and choose Pathology ... you will likely be selected for an Army Pathology residency and be assigned to San Antonio, Tacoma, or near DC. The Army Pathology residency has not filled the last five years. The numbers for civilian residency in any specialty are not high for Army and vary year to year.

 

[On the cusp]

It doesn't work this way. If you take the HPSP $ and choose Pathology ... you will likely be selected for an Army Pathology residency and be assigned to San Antonio, Tacoma, or near DC. The Army Pathology residency has not filled the last five years. The numbers for civilian residency in any specialty are not high for Army and vary year to year.

i suppose at least i wouldn't have to worry about the transitional/intern year then. just stick it out for the 4 years of randomness after the residency and GTFO.

 

[Homunculus]

no one can really answer this for you. you hit the nail on the head though-- knowing what your priorities will be in 10-12 years is damn near impossible. in the meantime the variables are too many and the permutations of your potential situation are so varied you may cruise through with the most pleasant experience ever or you may be miserable your entire career. the one thing you can count on is you will give up your control over your location and work environment. may be great, may be terrible-- but if giving up that control is important to you, HPSP or the military in general is not a good fit.

--your friendly neighborhood still working on his crystal ball caveman

 

[Kilgoretrout 65]

On the plus side for the military, at least you will have a job when you graduate residency. The pathology job market sucks, making it hard to find a job in the location you want anyway.

 

[On the cusp]

On the plus side for the military, at least you will have a job when you graduate residency. The pathology job market sucks, making it hard to find a job in the location you want anyway.

Yeah...Pathology seems a weird and rough business right now. The small reference lab I worked at had a revolving door of pathologists. many were FMGs who were MD/PhD which seemed overkill to me for churning out slides and stuff. But what do I know...I was there about 5 years and they burned through 6 or 7 docs at my location, who knows how many at the other sites. Couple of them literally had nervous breakdowns right there in the office, maybe from the workload, TAT demands...not sure.

 

[jabreal00]

Hello,

I'm wrestling with some concerns about my family that will come up over the next 12 years. These concerns are making me really question the HPSP path. If anyone else out there has dealt with similar issues while in the military, please share with me how you handled it.

1) My parents are old. They're independent and everything right now, but they may need me around eventually.

When I finish medical school my dad will be 76 and my mom will be 73. I luckily got into a medical school close to where they live, which has made them since I was out of state for the last 10+ years. I have to move several states away if I do the Army Pathology Residency for ~4 years. Then another ~4 years somewhere else to finish the active duty.

By the time I fulfill my obligation to the Army, my dad would be 84 and my mom, 81...

I was considering trying to get a civilian pathology residency in the same state as them so at least i would be near them for another 4 years after school in case they need me.
Then I would leave to do the 8 years when they were 80 and 77...which also sounds a little ...


2) My spouse is not in the military. He's just a regular guy with a regular crappy corporate job, which luckily was able to transfer him this first time near the medical school. I'm am concerned about uprooting him so often--for the Army residency and at least one more time when i get stationed somewhere. Has anyone else been married while doing the HPSP and had to move your spouse around?


Do I have too much family baggage to do this military thing?

It sounds like your parents are doing well despite their age. Many elderly are highly functioning well into advanced age (+ 85) as long as they don't have any significant chronic medical problems. Do you have any other siblings who can help share the burden if the need ever arose to help your parents? Anyways, you are likely to match in an Army pathology program over a civilian. Expect to be away from them for residency and payback. The nice thing about the military is that you can add a parent as a "dependent" on the military health insurance. Once one or both are dependents, then the Army has to take into consideration where you duty assignments are.

If one or both of your parents ever became debilitated, honestly, the easiest thing for you would be to move them in with you for support rather than trying to be close to where they live. From what I've seen, once they start losing function it is hard to keep up with the day to day of maintaining a household and finances.

As for your husband, the Army does not give a rat's posterior if he has to move every so often. If you just plan on paying back four years after residency and getting out, you have to look forward to at the minimum one move (residency) and possibly two (first duty assignment). In the Army you are less likely to get an overseas assignment (Korea/Mount Sinai) after residency. There is a small possibility of getting an operational assignment (Brigade Surgeon) at some point during your tour.

My wife was a working professional. We were separated for 2 years because she couldn't move. Your expectation should be that your husband will move once to twice during your time in the military or if he can't then there will be a period of separation.

 

[On the cusp]

It sounds like your parents are doing well despite their age. Many elderly are highly functioning well into advanced age (+ 85) as long as they don't have any significant chronic medical problems. Do you have any other siblings who can help share the burden if the need ever arose to help your parents? Anyways, you are likely to match in an Army pathology program over a civilian. Expect to be away from them for residency and payback. The nice thing about the military is that you can add a parent as a "dependent" on the military health insurance. Once one or both are dependents, then the Army has to take into consideration where you duty assignments are.

If one or both of your parents ever became debilitated, honestly, the easiest thing for you would be to move them in with you for support rather than trying to be close to where they live. From what I've seen, once they start losing function it is hard to keep up with the day to day of maintaining a household and finances.

As for your husband, the Army does not give a rat's posterior if he has to move every so often. If you just plan on paying back four years after residency and getting out, you have to look forward to at the minimum one move (residency) and possibly two (first duty assignment). In the Army you are less likely to get an overseas assignment (Korea/Mount Sinai) after residency. There is a small possibility of getting an operational assignment (Brigade Surgeon) at some point during your tour.

My wife was a working professional. We were separated for 2 years because she couldn't move. Your expectation should be that your husband will move once to twice during your time in the military or if he can't then there will be a period of separation.

Thank you for your reply, very helpful. The recruiter had mentioned I could make them dependants if needed in future, but I didn't know the army would then take that into consideration with my active duty assignment! That does change things!
I have read some experiences on here of what sounded like pretty labor intense deployments of helping set up and break down the mobile hospital, etc. Do they consider the doc's physical abilities when sending them as a brigade surgeon?

I accept that being an Army Doctor means meeting certain physical standards/demands of the military... just wondering what those demands could potentially be for someone of my size when deployed since I'm barely within the height and weight requirements (underweight when I started the application actually) but surprisingly still being considered for this thing! Maybe there is a really tiny army hospital somewhere that normal sized soldiers can't staff.

 

[WernickeDO]

Thank you for your reply, very helpful. The recruiter had mentioned I could make them dependants if needed in future, but I didn't know the army would then take that into consideration with my active duty assignment! That does change things!
I have read some experiences on here of what sounded like pretty labor intense deployments of helping set up and break down the mobile hospital, etc. Do they consider the doc's physical abilities when sending them as a brigade surgeon?

I accept that being an Army Doctor means meeting certain physical standards/demands of the military... just wondering what those demands could potentially be for someone of my size when deployed since I'm barely within the height and weight requirements (underweight when I started the application actually) but surprisingly still being considered for this thing! Maybe there is a really tiny army hospital somewhere that normal sized soldiers can't staff.

I have set up many tents during my time in the Army. There are physical demands to being in the armed forces but if you are up to the challenge then I am sure you can overcome. I worked with an Army doc who was way below the height/weight standards, but she got a waiver approved to serve.

Remember that the Army will "take it into consideration", but there is no promise that you will be able to stay near family, dependent or not. People get assigned to unaccompanied tours all the time.