I don't really have anything new to say about the topic but guess I'm just looking for some social support. I'm a first year med student who seems to be zig zagging between feeling sort of ok some days and just plain terrible others. I'm pretty sure I'm never actually happy...but days when I don't feel outright terrible are bearable. However, many other days I just feel wiped out, unmotivated, anxious and totally disconnected from my class and the process of medical school. The amount of information is so oppressive and feeling like I don't know anything just makes it worse. I don't have any close friends in my class and actually do what I can to avoid having to be on campus...the atmosphere of med school really turns me off. I find myself missing my family more and more...there have been a lot of times when I just want to call them and cry (I don't because I don't want to burden them). It often seems like everyone in med school is so driven and focused so even if it sucks it's all ok because they are just so excited about becoming doctors...and I generally just can't relate. Anyway, not sure what I was trying to accomplish here except maybe read stories of others who have felt similarly. I feel so alone and stressed out.
Depression in med school...
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Get yourself to your school's counseling center STAT!!!!
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Aside from your school's counseling, you should reconsider calling your family. You are not a burden and your mental health is something that needs to be taken seriously. I'm a first year too, and I can tell you that having a strong support system is the best way to make it through it all.
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Being on campus and going to class will help you find a few people you can relate to and vent with. Don't isolate yourself and try to go it alone.
Also want to add that while people may seem "driven", sometimes that is a front that people put up. So many people I have talked to have thoughts like this sucks/what am I doing with my life/how the hell did I end up here. I also know some people who don't like interacting with other medical students, but have found an outlet with people around in the community- once a week intermurals, church, etc.
I wouldn't guilty about burdening your family. But as your talking to them, maybe try mentioning the cool things you're learning too! I try to do this with my family and I'm sure they are kind of annoyed by it, but they are your family. I would do this for any of my family members as well.
I always think about how hard I worked to get here and how much of a privilege it is. At the end of the day, my job will hopefully help someone. I know that sounds very cliche, but it honestly gets me through. Now, when it's 2 days before the test and I'm a few lectures behind, I'm just thinking how awful it is.
You are not alone in this! Best of luck!
I wouldn't guilty about burdening your family. But as your talking to them, maybe try mentioning the cool things you're learning too! I try to do this with my family and I'm sure they are kind of annoyed by it, but they are your family. I would do this for any of my family members as well.
I always think about how hard I worked to get here and how much of a privilege it is. At the end of the day, my job will hopefully help someone. I know that sounds very cliche, but it honestly gets me through. Now, when it's 2 days before the test and I'm a few lectures behind, I'm just thinking how awful it is.
You are not alone in this! Best of luck!
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I'm an M1 and was in your shoes earlier this semester. It was tough and I really hated waking up everyday. But, I went to the counseling center and started talking about my problems and listening to someone. My counselor has given me so much useful advice, and I use it everyday. I also started going to class and spending more time with classmates. I have a solid friend group now and they are all so supportive. Suffice to say, I love my life and I love medical school. It was a tough transition at first, but reaching out for help was the best thing I've ever done. Please do yourself the biggest favor in your life and go see someone. It will change your life, that's not hyperbole.
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Schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist, no shame in it
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you can also start with your PCP, no shame in it
many insurances won't cover seeing a psych (a specialist) without referral
this shouldn't be a barrier to you receiving and seeking help, as
it's also frequently underappreciated how much mental health care a PCP is totally qualified to provide
not every case of mental health issues needs the expertise of a psych
many insurances won't cover seeing a psych (a specialist) without referral
this shouldn't be a barrier to you receiving and seeking help, as
it's also frequently underappreciated how much mental health care a PCP is totally qualified to provide
not every case of mental health issues needs the expertise of a psych
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100% agree with what the others have said about seeking out support for your mental health.
Concerning your excitement for medical school/becoming a doctor, I found that shadowing a doctor in one of the fields I’m interested in was incredibly rejuvenating and broke up the mundane classroom setting. It amped me up to keep pushing through this semester. I realize that time is always an issue, but it was definitely worth it to me.
Concerning your excitement for medical school/becoming a doctor, I found that shadowing a doctor in one of the fields I’m interested in was incredibly rejuvenating and broke up the mundane classroom setting. It amped me up to keep pushing through this semester. I realize that time is always an issue, but it was definitely worth it to me.
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Our program director has a motto that he shares with us which is to “never worry alone.”
Are you worrying alone? If so, find someone to worry with you - or at least know that you’re worrying. You may be surprised how ready and willing those in your life are to provide you with support.
Are you worrying alone? If so, find someone to worry with you - or at least know that you’re worrying. You may be surprised how ready and willing those in your life are to provide you with support.
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OP, once you’re out of the schooling system, you’re going to have to pay out of pocket for these kinds of issues. Overall, try to challenge yourself outside medical school by starting a new hobby. That’s ones of the best ways to deal with depression after addressing the medical component.
As always, I’m just a PM away
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OP, once you’re out of the schooling system, you’re going to have to pay out of pocket for these kinds of issues. Overall, try to challenge yourself outside medical school by starting a new hobby. That’s ones of the best ways to deal with depression after addressing the medical component.
As always, I’m just a PM away
this is incorrect
in residency (job, trainee, not school) I had access not only to employee wellness which featured counseling, but my health insurance plan through my employer also covered behavioral health services, such as through a PCP, psychiatric services, counseling, substance use disorders rehab inpt and outpt, and inpt psychiatric hospitalization.
This is true of most physicians employed through a hospital or large group, as many are.
It's true that plans can have various deductibles and copays; my advice is to always have your deductible and then some saved. This is typically possible even on a resident salary and surely on an attending's.
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Ok. Good to know.
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As others have said: go get help. You would see a doctor if you had pneumonia. Well at your age, depression is much deadlier. There’s no shame in counselling or psych meds just like there’s no shame in taking antibiotics for an infection.
People don’t talk about it enough, but if you truly talk to people about it you’ll realize you’re nowhere near alone. Of the residents I’ve been close enough to know that well, ~50% or more are on some sort of psychiatric treatment. Take care of yourself.
People don’t talk about it enough, but if you truly talk to people about it you’ll realize you’re nowhere near alone. Of the residents I’ve been close enough to know that well, ~50% or more are on some sort of psychiatric treatment. Take care of yourself.
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Let me tell you a story about a young, discouraged MS-1 I knew once upon a time.
This young man had a multigenerational history of depression and anxiety on one side of his family, and he'd felt some of those symptoms in his late teens. Then he moved across the country and started medical school six weeks before his wife gave birth to their first child. It was a stressful time.
In November of his MS-1 year, as this young man was preparing for an exam the following day, he experienced a panic attack. Alarmed and unsure what to do, his wife took him to the ER. He was triaged and put on a stretcher, and then he waited.
After half an hour, the attending emergency physician came in, closed the curtain, and stood at the edge of the stretcher. The attending looked at the MS-1 for a moment, then broke the silence. "You have the whole world at your feet," he said. "You have a gorgeous wife, and a beautiful daughter. You're young and healthy. You're starting an exciting and rewarding career as a physician." He went quiet for a few moments before continuing. "You have the whole world at your feet," he said, "and you just don't know it." And then he left and discharged the young man from the ER.
You're not the first medical student to feel overwhelmed, discouraged, beaten down, depressed, and hopeless. You're not the first one to question whether you're cut out for this (you are, though; the admissions people at your school are good at what they do and they didn't make a mistake by picking you). You're not the first to feel lonely or homesick. Many people have gone through what you are and felt the same as you. They're in every med school in the country, and every residency program, and every clinical practice. So I'm going to tell you what that emergency attending said: you have the whole world at your feet, and you just don't know it.
Feel free to PM me.
This young man had a multigenerational history of depression and anxiety on one side of his family, and he'd felt some of those symptoms in his late teens. Then he moved across the country and started medical school six weeks before his wife gave birth to their first child. It was a stressful time.
In November of his MS-1 year, as this young man was preparing for an exam the following day, he experienced a panic attack. Alarmed and unsure what to do, his wife took him to the ER. He was triaged and put on a stretcher, and then he waited.
After half an hour, the attending emergency physician came in, closed the curtain, and stood at the edge of the stretcher. The attending looked at the MS-1 for a moment, then broke the silence. "You have the whole world at your feet," he said. "You have a gorgeous wife, and a beautiful daughter. You're young and healthy. You're starting an exciting and rewarding career as a physician." He went quiet for a few moments before continuing. "You have the whole world at your feet," he said, "and you just don't know it." And then he left and discharged the young man from the ER.
You're not the first medical student to feel overwhelmed, discouraged, beaten down, depressed, and hopeless. You're not the first one to question whether you're cut out for this (you are, though; the admissions people at your school are good at what they do and they didn't make a mistake by picking you). You're not the first to feel lonely or homesick. Many people have gone through what you are and felt the same as you. They're in every med school in the country, and every residency program, and every clinical practice. So I'm going to tell you what that emergency attending said: you have the whole world at your feet, and you just don't know it.
Feel free to PM me.
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Keep in mind OP that your family probably feels the exact same way about you (they don't want to bug you because they know how busy you are), but they still miss you like crazy. Also, your parents will never be burdened by your feelings. From their perspective, you're living on your own, becoming a doctor; at times they may wonder if you even need them anymore. To them, you'll always be their little bumpy. Calling for emotional support would mean the world to them.
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Bumpy, did you end up getting counseling or talk to a friend or family member?
All of us either personally struggle with mental health problems or have family members that do. Just because you are a successful person doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for help. You are not a burden, and seeking help is the strong and professional thing to do.
I don't know exactly where you are, but know there are people thinking about you and who care.
TPP
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Things can go downhill really fast with significant consequences. Seek help, there's no shame in doing it. I made a large post a while back on the topic that maybe you would find helpful.
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I mean, I get that you're trying to pep the guy up, but this hinges on a lot of assumptions and sometimes it feels worse to have it pointed out where you differ from most people on things like this.
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Does it though? Or are you maybe projecting your experiences onto my post? Why would OP's first instinct when stressed is to want to "just call them and cry" if they didn't come from a family that showed love and support? I'm sorry, but it seems like you're making more assumptions here.
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Nah, my family is super supportive, I just think it's weird to tell people how their family that you don't know is going to act. Nbd. I was also running on 0 sleep that day so posting with little thought, sorry.
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It seems like you literally took the words right out of my head. I am struggling with everything right now and being out-of-state at a school thats mostly in-state makes everything much worse.
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after going through this thread and reading the advice I am going to try and stop isolating myself as well and see how things go
This actually really resonates with me, my first 2 years I was shut in and depressed the entire time, to the point I would wale up wishing I could just sleep forever. And it wasn't because I was busy studying all the time, I was just too in despair to even get up and leave my dorm. So ultimately I might not be one to speak but if I can share 2 thoughts. First, there was no reason for me to put myself through that, I regret it now because it was just a lot of suffering when I could have taken my foot off the stress pedal and decided my mental and physical health were equally as important as school. Second, after I got passed Step 1 and started rotations everything changed for me. I feel like my environment changes, the expectation changes, its a real gamechanger. I feel sooo much better and I feel like I'm falling in love with medicine more and more everyday. So at the worst just know that things do get better very quickly!!
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Great idea.
For those struggling with the same issue, I was recommended by my university counseling therapist a book that really helped
Deep Work: Rules for Focused Work in a Distracted World
Deep work is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. It's a skill that allows you to quickly master complicated information and produce better results in less time. Deep work will make you better at what you do and provide the sense of true fulfillment that comes from craftsmanship. In short, deep work is like a super power in our increasingly competitive twenty-first century economy. And yet, most people have lost the ability to go deep-spending their days instead in a frantic blur of e-mail and social media, not even realizing there's a better way.
In DEEP WORK, author and professor Cal Newport flips the narrative on impact in a connected age. Instead of arguing distraction is bad, he instead celebrates the power of its opposite. Dividing this book into two parts, he first makes the case that in almost any profession, cultivating a deep work ethic will produce massive benefits. He then presents a rigorous training regimen, presented as a series of four "rules," for transforming your mind and habits to support this skill.
A mix of cultural criticism and actionable advice, DEEP WORK takes the reader on a journey through memorable stories -- from Carl Jung building a stone tower in the woods to focus his mind, to a social media pioneer buying a round-trip business class ticket to Tokyo to write a book free from distraction in the air -- and no-nonsense advice, such as the claim that most serious professionals should quit social media and that you should practice being bored. DEEP WORK is an indispensable guide to anyone seeking focused success in a distracted world.
In DEEP WORK, author and professor Cal Newport flips the narrative on impact in a connected age. Instead of arguing distraction is bad, he instead celebrates the power of its opposite. Dividing this book into two parts, he first makes the case that in almost any profession, cultivating a deep work ethic will produce massive benefits. He then presents a rigorous training regimen, presented as a series of four "rules," for transforming your mind and habits to support this skill.
A mix of cultural criticism and actionable advice, DEEP WORK takes the reader on a journey through memorable stories -- from Carl Jung building a stone tower in the woods to focus his mind, to a social media pioneer buying a round-trip business class ticket to Tokyo to write a book free from distraction in the air -- and no-nonsense advice, such as the claim that most serious professionals should quit social media and that you should practice being bored. DEEP WORK is an indispensable guide to anyone seeking focused success in a distracted world.
this book, and others like it, as well as seeing a therapist, talking to my medical school admins, and being authentic with those who love me, helped me a great deal.
Best of success to all medical students in the throes of managing mental health maladies. They are manageable with the right tools in your hands! gopher it!
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