Dear idiot,
Thank you for your interest in our school. However, this gratitude is greatly overshadowed by the bleeding ulcers (or should i say, 'bad tummyache' ) members of our committe have sustained as a direct result of reviewing your application. Your whininess and stupidity amazes me. Your personal statement reads like bad porn written by a dyslexic lobotomized serial killer. I have read better on the men's wall in a truckstop along I-35. In fact, the spot that suposed to be yours will now go to a toothless waitress named Myrtle that promises 'a good time.'
I see that you have only applied to Texas schools. How the f**k did we get so lucky? At least you have contained your over-inflated dreams and delusions of grandeur to one state. Unfortunately, the osteopathic hospital in Fort Worth (which you applied to, *******) has recently seen fit to perhaps close its doors, shortly after receiving your application. Coincidence? I think not. All the funding and government bribing in the world couldn't make you an acceptable applicant. A couple hints about where you went wrong. Ideally, your GPA should be somehere above the ATP yield for each NADH in the electron transport chain. Your MCAT should, ideally, be higher than your age. Of course, in this case, you are doubly screwed. I would suggest retaking, but you may be collecting social security by then.
Sorry you're so stupid, and best of luck in your future endeavors (this means **** you're going to do now). My advice to you would be to kick off your shoes, fire up your ovaries, and get used to the kitchen.
You ignorant douchebag
😡
