Difficulties w/supervisor

[Phipps]

Hi All,

so, at my externship site I have a primary supervisor I don't get along with and a secondary one I do get along with. My primary often devalues me in public, i.e., in front of employees, ridicules me, corrects how I score, that I did stuff incorrectly - only to find out that I was right, etc.; he sits in with a patient when I test and would correct me during testing in front of patient (that's the part that I am most okay with). I feel really hurt by him and it happens basically each time I am there.
So, I feel like I need some support but am not sure where to turn for this. Secondary supervisor, peer mentor, person who oversees our externship training or my adviser at school? Any thoughts are welcome.

Thx,
Ms. Phipps

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[LivingOffLoans]

To put it simply, do what your intuition tells you is right (in terms of the clinical performance aspect). You sound really caring, and I'm sure your patients appreciate that. Surely, there is something to be said for professional support...and so I say, gather what you can in your favor, and no matter what, stay true to your reason for helping others.

 

[eowyne]

I feel for you. I had similar issues with one of my supervisors. I kept trying to improve the relationship but it got worse. Now that I have more distance from the situation, I think we were just not a good match and I would have discussed the situation with another supervisor rather than beating my head against the wall for the whole year. I had great relationships with my other supervisors and I think they would have helped. So I would suggest that if there is another supervisor you can trust, discuss the situation with them and ask what they suggest.

 

[Phipps]

Thanks! Yes, that's what I was thinking - discussing it with the sec supervisor but the I was not 100% sure whether that's appropriate. I trust her and we get along well. Also, the externship just started, week # 5; not sure whether I should give it some more time.

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

Thanks! Yes, that's what I was thinking - discussing it with the sec supervisor but the I was not 100% sure whether that's appropriate. I trust her and we get along well. Also, the externship just started, week # 5; not sure whether I should give it some more time.

No five weeks is plenty of time. The primary supervisor obviously is treating you unfairly and you should do something about it.

 

[eowyne]

Just one suggestion - no matter how unfairly you feel your supervisor is treating you, I think the other supervisor will probably be more likely to help if you are not too blaming toward your supervisor. You can explain that you'd really appreciate their feedback, that you've been feeling uncomfortable when x,y,z happens, and ask if they have any suggestions.

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

Just one suggestion - no matter how unfairly you feel your supervisor is treating you, I think the other supervisor will probably be more likely to help if you are not too blaming toward your supervisor. You can explain that you'd really appreciate their feedback, that you've been feeling uncomfortable when x,y,z happens, and ask if they have any suggestions.

Well yes, but definitely point out there is in fact a problem. Its obviously not all rainbows and sunshine.

 

[docma]

It will help your secondary supervisor if you can discuss specific behavioral samples and how to manage them (statements made in front of other staff that feel humiliating) rather than general qualities of personality/style. Since she probably knows this colleague and his personality traits--and has had to perhaps manage them herself--then you are appropriately asking for professional consultation and a sense of how one is culturally competent in a culture where this behavior is apparently a "norm". And don't wait to talk about it, as it is interfering in the learning atmosphere and can perhaps be addressed and changed. She may be able to coach you in how to talk directly with him about this, which has to happen eventually, as it is compromising your trust in the supervisory relationship and therefore the quality of the supervision

 

[G Costanza]

I'd be reluctant to triangulate the second supervisor unless you've already gone to your primary and didn't get any positive changes. Why not sit down with your primary and tell him what's working well and what is not? give the sup a chance to change before pulling in someone else.

 

[docma]

I think it is ideal if a trainee can have the direct conversation with the supervisor where there is a problem. But I also think that it can be a realistic strategy to consult with someone with whom the supervision is shared. At least in our system I have seen it lead to a positive resolution. Your are right that the political dynamics have to be considered and a direct approach is always recommended--just not always practical for supervisees.