thanks everyone for your replies, a lot of good info to consider
an exercise ive been doing lately is going to this site
http://www.abms.org/member-boards/specialty-subspecialty-certificates/ and then thinking if i can imagine myself in that role lol
for example, cross out primary care and im specialties
cross out em, too stressful
cross out all surgical specialties and anesthesia because the or sucks
cross out radiology because i dont want to sit down on my ass all day in a dark room
that leaves psychiatry, neurology, pmr, derm, radonc
of these, i guess im inclined toward derm but ive shadowed a couple of dermatologists and it is quite boring...
ive also shadowed in neurology and radonc and almost fell asleep
psychiatry--ugh dont want to talk to people forever
that leaves 0 options left hehe
no, but im seriously considering dropping out and getting into the health administration/business side of things. i feel like the creative side of me is just being drained after each lecture...and the memorization doesn't stop after second year--there is still a ton of memorization in third and fourth year, not to mention in residency.
in the end, i guess you just have to ask yourself: what are you passionate about? what do you love to do? what will get you out of bed each morning? being a doctor for the money or prestige is a road to disappointment. don't stay in a job you hate.
it's your ******* life. don't let other people's/society's expectations **** it up.