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Diversity essay topic help

E30123

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Jul 18, 2018
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Hi all,

Here is what I am thinking about writing and I would greatly appreciate feedback. I have read on here that immigrant diversity essays are very common but I wanted to see if mine made a case to be unique.

I moved to the US when I was 7 from the middle east and did not know any English. At school it was hard for me to make friends in the beginning because I stuck out a lot and it made me resent my background at times. My perspective changed when my grandma who lived with us got sick and I saw how my mom quit her job and took care of her as it was part of our culture. I started to appreciate our culture after that point. I want to tie in some of the struggles that I saw my parents face with my grandma and learning about healthcare in the US and how I can add to the diversity of the class by explaining some of these struggles to my classmates.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this.
 
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Monkeymojo

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I think that the immigration viewpoint is an excellent way to springboard an essay but not enough to stand alone. Make sure you include the 'so what' factor especially if it went beyond your social circle (did this make you want to pursue family medicine? did you participate in any outreach? did you volunteer in any community-based organizations? can you draw any parallels between what you saw with your grandma and what you saw shadowing? did it change any interactions you had with any patients?).
 
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E30123

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I think that the immigration viewpoint is an excellent way to springboard an essay but not enough to stand alone. Make sure you include the 'so what' factor especially if it went beyond your social circle (did this make you want to pursue family medicine? did you participate in any outreach? did you volunteer in any community-based organizations? can you draw any parallels between what you saw with your grandma and what you saw shadowing? did it change any interactions you had with any patients?).
I volunteer now with a food pantry where many of the guests do not speak any English or very broken English. I understand what these guests are going through because I remember what is was like to try and do something in country where you aren't familiar with the culture and language. I hope to add to the diversity of a class by explaining to fellow students what that is like and how they can best approach situations where their patients may be from outside countries. Do you think this answers the so what?
 
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E30123

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Jul 18, 2018
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  1. Pre-Medical
I think that the immigration viewpoint is an excellent way to springboard an essay but not enough to stand alone. Make sure you include the 'so what' factor especially if it went beyond your social circle (did this make you want to pursue family medicine? did you participate in any outreach? did you volunteer in any community-based organizations? can you draw any parallels between what you saw with your grandma and what you saw shadowing? did it change any interactions you had with any patients?).
Also I forgot to add these few things.
My grandma was a strict in her faith and I saw how difficult it would be for her to expose herself to doctors even though it was to her health benefit. I would love to explain this to more people so they dont see the patients as being rude but more so as having a strong faith.

Also during shadowing I remember patients telling the doctor that they needed to gain weight in order to seem attractive in their community even as the doctor was explaining the health risks. when I was younger I was very overweight because being chubbier in my mothers eyes was me being a strong healthy boy when in fact it was determent to my health.
 
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Moko

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Your experience growing up as an immigrant and having deeply religious family members will help add to the diversity of a class. There's enough substance there for a strong essay. Your answer does not need to be unique.
 
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E30123

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Your experience growing up as an immigrant and having deeply religious family members will help add to the diversity of a class. There's enough substance there for a strong essay. Your answer does not need to be unique.
Thank you. Do you think it would be beneficial to highlight some of the examples I posted above in the essay?
 
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I think that the immigration viewpoint is an excellent way to springboard an essay but not enough to stand alone. Make sure you include the 'so what' factor especially if it went beyond your social circle (did this make you want to pursue family medicine? did you participate in any outreach? did you volunteer in any community-based organizations? can you draw any parallels between what you saw with your grandma and what you saw shadowing? did it change any interactions you had with any patients?).
I agree
 
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Moko

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Thank you. Do you think it would be beneficial to highlight some of the examples I posted above in the essay?
Yes, it's important to 'show' and not just 'tell'. Anyone can do the latter. I would highlight your family's struggles navigating the healthcare system, and your ability to empathize with those who do not speak English (as shown by your own upbringing and food pantry experience). Just my thoughts
 
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