Do you ever just feel not good enough?

[Gcuvier]

Hi,

Have you ever felt proud because you thought you were very good at something (school in my case) only to meet people who are 10x better than you at that something and then become discouraged? Because I have and believe me, it sucks. I'm very competitive, especially when it comes to school and academics, and so when I meet other pre-meds who have perfect 4.00s and who claim that they barely study, it hits home because I really do work my butt off for good grades. At this point, I start to wonder whether I'm even good enough to be a doctor. I question my competency, and my overall self-esteem plummets. I think about my imperfect GPA (not that it's a bad GPA) and about all the perfect 4.00s that will be applying and I just feel like I have no chance. Can anyone else relate? Any tips on getting over this? Please advise.

Thanks

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[Microbug]

Life is not about being the best at something.
Just work hard, give back, have some humility and a sense of humor, be kind and in general a good human being. Be happy and have fun with it.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

These are imperfect, but they will still feed a hungry belly.

You can become a good physician in the eyes of your patients regardless of your peers' accolades. Be proud of that when it happens because it's all that really matters...

 

[HomeSkool]

The problem underpinning that feeling is having too much of your self-worth tied up in your accomplishments and not enough confidence in your intrinsic value as a person. As human beings, each of us has infinite value, and nothing we do can increase or decrease that value one iota. You've got to stop hanging your hat on being the smartest kid on the block. In life, and especially in high-functioning professions like medicine, there will always be someone who's smarter than you. I work with residents who have more brainpower than I do. So what? It doesn't change the fact that I'm a damn good doctor.

On the flip side, any time you start feeling superior because you're the smartest person in town, just go look at the accomplishments of Leonardo da Vinci. That'll help bring you back down to Earth.

The key is finding balance: be proud of your abilities and accomplishments, but derive your sense of value from who you are rather than what you do.

As for whether you're good enough to be a doctor, you'll never know if you throw in the towel now.

Stop competing with others, and start competing only against yourself. Make your best better, and you win.

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

Yeah. I always feel that way about my relationship.

 

[Microbug]

Yeah. I always feel that way about my relationship.

That escalated quickly

 

[mimelim]

No.

 

[lovehate]

No.

+1

 

[Mr. Babe]

Yea seriously, it doesn't matter what anyone is doing. You need to be the best you. The best you might not get a 4.0 or a 515+ MCAT. It's good to feel inadequate and I hope we all do because it means that we're doing something challenging. If you feel like you've made it and know everything than you'll need to challenge yourself to progress. Compare yourself with who you were yesterday, a week ago, or a month ago. Be better than that person and screw everyone else.

 

[grizzly1093]

Scores and grades provide a fuzzy picture of a small part of who you are and what kind of doctor you might become. When you're a doctor, patients won't know or care about your scores or grades. They'll care that you care, that you stay up-to-date on best practices, and that you give them your best. Same thing in life and love. No one will remember your GPA, but you'll be celebrated for your work ethic and compassion and humility.

 

[mwsapphire]

In short, yes, yes I do.
I mentioned my thoughts on it Feelings of inadequacy?

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

Patients don't care about your gpa, where you went to med school, or even residency. They care about whether you spend time with them, are knowledgeable about their treatment options, and treat them with kindness, not as a number in a queue but as a human being who is suffering. Everything else is BS dressed up as "requirements."

 

[RTC19]

Goodness, yes! All of the time. You are so not alone, @Gcuvier.

 

[RedPanda55]

That sort of thinking is what keeps us humble, and there is nothing wrong with that!

 

[Kobethegoat24]

Life is not about being the best at something.
Just work hard, give back, have some humility and a sense of humor, be kind and in general a good human being. Be happy and have fun with it.

This response...so good jesus

 

[Microbug]

This response...so good jesus

Tyty~

 

[getdown]

Hi,

Have you ever felt proud because you thought you were very good at something (school in my case) only to meet people who are 10x better than you at that something and then become discouraged? Because I have and believe me, it sucks. I'm very competitive, especially when it comes to school and academics, and so when I meet other pre-meds who have perfect 4.00s and who claim that they barely study, it hits home because I really do work my butt off for good grades. At this point, I start to wonder whether I'm even good enough to be a doctor. I question my competency, and my overall self-esteem plummets. I think about my imperfect GPA (not that it's a bad GPA) and about all the perfect 4.00s that will be applying and I just feel like I have no chance. Can anyone else relate? Any tips on getting over this? Please advise.

Thanks

You do realize you're applying to medical school right? Where the best of undergrads come together? You think this feeling somehow just goes away during medical school?

 

[861843]

always :< hits home for sure. it's always on the back of my mind but at least it helps me work real hard. i blame my first-generation upbringing; I didn't tell my parents I applied to med school, but when I told them I got in they were happy but also just like "ok, well you wasted 2 years doing whatever at that hospital" (research in a field I love lol)

 

[Neutropix]

I'm about to brag about my girlfriend here as an analogy so bear with me:
My gf is one of those people that can do it all. She does research, takes 15 credits/semester, volunteers, and works over 40 hours a week (3 jobs) while still making time for the gym, hanging out with family (3.9 GPA). She excels at everything (even board games). Last semester she was painting with her mom during finals week..... So yeah I thought of myself as a pretty smart kid until I met her. She was the first person that made me realize there are levels to this game. At the end of the day she is an extremely hard worker who knows how to use even minutes to her advantage. Funny enough she switched to pre-PA during her last semester for lifestyle reasons

So yes, I've experienced what you're going through. Ultimately you must know your own abilities and limitations. Personally, I find that when I truly apply myself and work my a$$ off, the grades come. However, you also gotta be realistic. If you're doing your absolute best and utilizing every resource but still falling short there are still other great careers in healthcare like nursing.

My gut is telling me you're being a little neurotic and you should probably just come to the terms with the fact you're not a 1%. Neither am I, and that's OK.

 

[carebear204]

always :< hits home for sure. it's always on the back of my mind but at least it helps me work real hard. i blame my first-generation upbringing; I didn't tell my parents I applied to med school, but when I told them I got in they were happy but also just like "ok, well you wasted 2 years doing whatever at that hospital" (research in a field I love lol)

I'm first generation too and I relate to this so much - my parents are pretty tough on me and we've gotten into fights about what they think I should be doing to get in vs. what I chose to do during my gap year(s). It's tough, but it's definitely taught me to always push myself and to never settle.

 

[MareNostrummm]

I'm about to brag about my girlfriend here as an analogy so bear with me:
My gf is one of those people that can do it all. She does research, takes 15 credits/semester, volunteers, and works over 40 hours a week (3 jobs) while still making time for the gym, hanging out with family (3.9 GPA). She excels at everything (even board games). Last semester she was painting with her mom during finals week..... So yeah I thought of myself as a pretty smart kid until I met her. She was the first person that made me realize there are levels to this game. At the end of the day she is an extremely hard worker who knows how to use even minutes to her advantage. Funny enough she switched to pre-PA during her last semester for lifestyle reasons

So yes, I've experienced what you're going through. Ultimately you must know your own abilities and limitations. Personally, I find that when I truly apply myself and work my a$$ off, the grades come. However, you also gotta be realistic. If you're doing your absolute best and utilizing every resource but still falling short there are still other great careers in healthcare like nursing.

My gut is telling me you're being a little neurotic and you should probably just come to the terms with the fact you're not a 1%. Neither am I, and that's OK.

Your girlfriend seems like someone who is passionate and full of life. I think a lot of other people are capable of that as well (4.0, 40 hours per week, hobbies) but they have underlying issues that prevent them from reaching that level.