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Wouldn't he, by imposing his desires upon the relationship, be selfish in that scenario too?
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Don´t want a family
Started by Krisli
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Wouldn't he, by imposing his desires upon the relationship, be selfish in that scenario too?
Just let him know before becoming serious. There's plenty of guys who don't want kids
The snobbery comes from years of practice, a refined sense of discovering jokers trying too hard to pick a fight over nothing, and earned arrogance. What do you want from me? Okay, I get it, you're a witty guy. Clap clap clap. Good for you. More like Vietnam Era—I failed sarcasm 101, sue me.
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Fair enough. Stay in your house and I won't step on your lawn.
I'd take his blunt honesty over the parents that clearly hate their lives and their children but refuse to admit it and continue to claim that their POS kids are a joy.
Lol POS kids? I've met some annoying kids sure, but seldom ones I would call pieces of ****. Usually it's the ******* parents that are the issue. If you look at parents who are unhappy, just look at the relationship they have with each other. It's usually their ****ty relationship that causes strife. Divorces don't happen because the kids are ****ty.
And yea, I do appreciate honesty as well. I really don't care if people are lying about their happiness though.
I don't know if you've just met great kids or are burying your head in the sand.
And so we're on the same page, we are both talking about basically 18+ "kids", not a 12 year old, right? As in your grown up child who is not doing with anything with their life, doing drugs daily, etc.
No, I was talking about sub 18 year olds. But I know plenty of 18 year olds doing drugs daily, and then they go on to become doctors.
Well they're not really in the not doing anything with their life pool are they?
Judging sub 18 yr olds is a bit rash. Although a lot of them are whiny and annoying.
I don't know too many people with kids in the 18 year old pile not doing anything pile as I am young and usually get to know people who are doing something. Do you hang around a bunch of middle aged folks that praise their kids or something?
No but pretty much all my parents friends and a ton of people I see in clinic go in that worthless 18+ pile.
I would like to add, and this is straight from the neurosurgeon's mouth, that neurosurgery can be what you want it to be. Yes, if you want to be an MGH or whatever academic center attending, you will work 100 hours. If you still love neurosurgery, but want some semblance of a life, you can operate at a community hospital, specializing in spine with the occasional cranial cases, and work 60 hours a week. I personally know people on both sides of the spectrum.
At the end of the day, no one is forcing you to work. You will be the neurosurgeon. You will be the person qualified to do brain and spine surgery. You will be valuable. If you keep your requirements low, you can find work anywhere in this country that can meet your reasonable expectations.
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I didn't read this whole thread but my genes are so awesome it would be a crime against humanity for me NOT to pass them on.
I actually wouldn't be averse to a few illegitimate kids.
Gotta make sure the women can't find you for 18 years though. Unless your last name is Duggar, it's the best way to maximize your genetic impact with minimal financial impact.
Was just checking this again for pics. But there are no pics.
#disappointed
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#disappointed
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Well I wanna marry and need no less than 5 kids. Every night I will hammer my wife hard, in the morning i will give it to her, even at work i will come home and give it to her
D
deleted92121
Similar thread not long ago in the non-trad forum.
Late twenties male here and I don't think children are in my future. Marriage possibly. I like the idea of two working professionals who can take a few weeks off a month and travel, volunteer, or just relax. The world is such a big place with so many wonderful things to experience. Having children would delay a good deal of what I would like to do. Sure, having children is most likely a positive experience but it's not as simple as having a child and your world magically transforms into Shangri-La. It's a lifetime of concern, worry, late nights, and sometimes busted expectations and disappointments. I just don't know if the risk is worth such an uncertain reward (or punishment).
Nope. I am fine with a small house in the suburbs with a few toys like a Wrangler and new H-D soft tail. Take long weekends to wine country or the beach. Visiting family and friends. Cut back to part time around 50 or 55. Have enough money from two incomes and living within our means. And not having kids will allow me to indulge in my favorite pastime: FOOD. It is difficult to prepare a meal for children when they want spaghetti-o's and I want take out or a fancy meal of charred salmon with roasted almonds. Oh the simple life, lol.
Late twenties male here and I don't think children are in my future. Marriage possibly. I like the idea of two working professionals who can take a few weeks off a month and travel, volunteer, or just relax. The world is such a big place with so many wonderful things to experience. Having children would delay a good deal of what I would like to do. Sure, having children is most likely a positive experience but it's not as simple as having a child and your world magically transforms into Shangri-La. It's a lifetime of concern, worry, late nights, and sometimes busted expectations and disappointments. I just don't know if the risk is worth such an uncertain reward (or punishment).
Nope. I am fine with a small house in the suburbs with a few toys like a Wrangler and new H-D soft tail. Take long weekends to wine country or the beach. Visiting family and friends. Cut back to part time around 50 or 55. Have enough money from two incomes and living within our means. And not having kids will allow me to indulge in my favorite pastime: FOOD. It is difficult to prepare a meal for children when they want spaghetti-o's and I want take out or a fancy meal of charred salmon with roasted almonds. Oh the simple life, lol.
If the fellow did not acknowledge, appreciate, and respect your decision the relationship would suffer. Compatibility, don't get married without it.
She made a thread earlier (under a different name sans the neurosurgeon detail) about this in which she went into details about her physical assets/proportions and it went kind of weird so I guess she wants to chat about this topic a lot for whatever reason.
I would never judge someone for their intellectual honesty, but as you have the security of anonymity others also have the security of saying how they feel in response to you. Not that it should be attempts to shame or degrade you. That said...
I give you the excuse that in your generation it would have been almost unheard of to refuse children when your spouse wants them. It is not a crime to be selfish with your life goals and your time. Truthfully, I don't think most people ought to be having any.
Once children are brought into the equation, however, it is intuitively irresponsible to not only do poorly in their rearing but then to later dismiss them as f*** ups. Your tone and flippancy is revealing - maybe a defense mechanism and way to distance yourself from guilt. Or maybe just a genuinely careless, unapologetic "me first" personality.
What if you can afford all four?
Than how do you know it was her since she doesn't have any other info on her profile?
Also, sup OP😉
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I guess you'll never really know. You can't beat a character (and this two dimensional medium does present us as such) as someone who'll : "never judge someone for their […]," and proceed to judge. What do you know about life, love, death, mutilation, crime, punishment, consequences? Truly what do you know about war, terror, those miserable things you read about, or see on television? You don't know me, merely a few phrases, some random thoughts without context, yet surge toward concluding character as a reflection of your own 22-26 years of life? You're in medical school. By f***k ups your imaginations leapt to conclusions within the scope of your life experiences, yet haven't defined, and don't see why I would clarify, or detail those things. However none were contingent upon so called "me first" traits, or defense mechanisms to assuage guilt. As the years pass your hastening to "judge" will be tempered, hopefully, by experience.
I would argue that it's harder to find a woman who doesn't want kids. I know a few guys who are comitted to having kids at some point, but many of my female friends talk about having kids as one of the primary goals of their lives. I'm hanging my hopes on meeting someone whose primary focus in life is her career.
Than you are a lucky bastard.
(The point was that I'd preferably get just one kid so I could afford a fancy lifestyle but say it in an ambiguous way that it can also be interpreted in a way that I'd prefer having a Ferrari or blow over a family. That was lost in translation and/or not funny to begin with. )
Note to self: Stop trying to say funny things in a foreign language.
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How you doin '? 😉
SDN just needs a dating app....
Maybe I should just clone myself. Mine are so close to perfection.
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I'm betting a lot of the profiles would be solid comedy gold. Someone get on this, STAT!
Haha I know. I would love to see this!
I mean, isn't it kind of expected that you should have kids, because you need to pass on your genetic legacy? My parents expect me to produce children by the time I am 29.
I expect you to grow up and stop doing everything that is expected of you by the time you are 29.
I would just focus on getting laid first.
And seriously if you don't want to get hitched and make babies then don't. Seriously what are your parents going to do about it?
Maybe you should grow a set (either internal or external) and live your life and not your parents'....
With kids like these...who wants 'em? 😛
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I just hope I work with people who's parents don't run their lives....
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*his
Underlined is hilarious because that's exactly what you go on to do with the rest of your post. I realize others in this thread have done the same, just singling you out because it's fun.
Why all the negativity and judgment towards this croak fellow? He shared a personal (seemingly painful) snippet of his life that was relevant in the context of this thread. I don't understand all these self-righteous posts and attacks on this guy.
Give me three years and I'll come do an away rotation on your service 😉
I like picking on old people. In my spare time I go to CVS, take werthers original bags and crush them, then put them back on the shelf. 😡
F grandad?
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