unicorn06

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Just curious, but how many of you anticipate meeting your future husband/wife in med school? Do you think you'll end up marrying another doctor?
 

Daichi Katase

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yes, the reason I am going to medical school is to get married to a rich doctor lady.
 
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unicorn06

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I didn't mean to suggest anyone was going to med school for the purpose of meeting a doc to marry...I just meant that since we'll be surrounded by docs durring the big marriage years, I can see it happening...
 

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Ah, personally I'm glad I am past dating so I don't have to worry about that while I'm trying to get into and through medical school. Also, seeing as I have worked around doctors for many years and know a dozen or so docs who are or were married to other docs and the only ones I know who have been married more than 10 years is a pair of Indian docs who had come together through an arranged marriage. Just some food for thought.....
 
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I hope I don't get stuck with a doctor. They have such bad personalities....
 

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I wonder how having two doctors as parents affects children. Do you think it's harder to raise stable, normal kids when both parents are involved in specicalties like surgery?


It seems like a lot of doctors want their kids to become doctors...me, I want my kid to become a rock star. You always want them to do what you couldn't ;)
 

DropkickMurphy

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I dated my EMS medical director's daughter whose mom is an ER nurse, and she was screwed up enough. I don't even want to think how FUBAR she would have been if her mom had been a doc as well. *shudders*
 

DrBowtie

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She will be HS History.
I find it is a good balance to my physics/pre-medness.
 
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Chinorean

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Praetorian said:
Balance is good. My fiancee has a degree in English.
For the girls--would you feel weird if you were a doctor and you married a HS history teacher? Do you think people would look at your marriage with a raised eyebrow because of the difference in status/money?
 

DropkickMurphy

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One of our cardiothoracic surgeons (a woman) is married to a mechanic at a local auto shop. Talk about a difference in pay scales.....
 

Chinorean

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Praetorian said:
One of our cardiothoracic surgeons (a woman) is married to a mechanic at a local auto shop. Talk about a difference in pay scales.....
I don't know about that...whenever my car needs a check up or fixing I always get the feeling I'm paying wayyyy more than it's worth. I bet mechanics are secretly rolling in dough :laugh:

I wonder if they make jokes about that..."I fix people, he fixes cars...lucky for him cars can't sue you..."
 

DropkickMurphy

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I know one of the guys who works at the same garage. He told me that I made better money as a part-time RT. I was making right under $44K a year at the time.. A CT surgeon makes what? 400K? 500K?
 

jbone

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It would never work. Two type-A personalities going at each other all the time would end in bloodshed. Marriage is hard enough with one know-it-all, (usually the husband ie. my wife knows I know everything and that ends all disputes). :laugh: Ok, now I'm in trouble. :scared:
Two know-it-alls=WWIII. ;) Especially if one went to a higher ranked medical school. The other would never live it down. Imagine fighting about MCAT scores or board scores. Better residency etc.
Oh kill me now............. :scared:
 

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As long as she's a 6ft tall, smart, hot, blond Swede I won't mind if she's a Dr or not but I'm not picky :D

Seriously though I don't know.(And for those that care I'm 5'9")
 

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everyone here seems to think doctors are some crazy breed of very special people separate from the rest of the population... most doctors are very normal and becoming one isn't going to make you different than other people.

both of my parents are docs, together since 1967. very normal people. a neurosurgeon and an anesthesiologist. they supported me when i wanted to be an engineer. they're supporting me now that i'm going to med school. everyone loooooves my parents and they are less crazy that anyone else's parents i know. my dad is hilariously anal. my mom is a loveable scatterbrain.

i myself will be marrying an engineer.
 

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BrettBatchelor said:
Nope. I'm marrying a teacher.
My wife is going to be a HS English teacher.

I do think it would have been more stressful if she were pre-med/med as well. I also don't think I'd have any problem if I were the teacher and she the doc- we need someone who can and is willing to "raise the family," teachers get summer off, etc. But my dad is a teacher, so I have plenty of built-in respect.
 
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isobel said:
everyone here seems to think doctors are some crazy breed of very special people separate from the rest of the population... most doctors are very normal and becoming one isn't going to make you different than other people.

both of my parents are docs, together since 1967. very normal people. a neurosurgeon and an anesthesiologist. they supported me when i wanted to be an engineer. they're supporting me now that i'm going to med school. everyone loooooves my parents and they are less crazy that anyone else's parents i know. my dad is hilariously anal. my mom is a loveable scatterbrain.

i myself will be marrying an engineer.
Your parents sound exactly like my future parents-in-law. Totally normal and nice, great marriage. And I'm marrying a lawyer. But when I met him he was just a hot computer guy who wore pajamas to class. :laugh: :love:
 

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Dave_D said:
Seriously though I don't know.(And for those that care I'm 5'9")
You want to look up? I guess an inch doesn't make things too challenging.

I am going to be very wary about it. Go to a coffee shop and start b.s.ing and one of the first things that comes out of people's mouths is, "So, what do you do?"
If you're a teacher, architect or whatever, it's a conversation piece, but don't you think it's a little different if you say, "doctor" or "lawyer"? I'm not looking forward to the ordeal.

Caboose.
 

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The physicians I have known who have the most stable marriages have been physicians married to one another. I know a bunch of anecdotes don't sum to data, but I would personally like being with someone who could really understand what it is I deal with on a daily basis, and in turn I could be equally as understanding. As an Special Forces colonel I knew once said "If you bleed with me, I'll respect you." Not to say that I don't respect people who aren't going to be physicians, but I do think it is a somewhat unique journey and can be best understood by someone else going through it.
 

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BooMed said:
And I'm marrying a lawyer. But when I met him he was just a hot computer guy who wore pajamas to class. :laugh: :love:
Wow, you guys potentially sound like an episode of the Cosby Show. Good for you! I wish you luck with your four or five charming young children! ;)
 

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Well, my boyfriend is also applying to medical school right now (and is a fellow SDNer, so I need to watch what I say... ;)), and we definitely had problems with competition during undergrad and when we got our MCAT scores back, but we've gotten a lot better about it and aren't as competitive now. It definitely put a strain on the relationship for a while, and couples that get together in med school will probably have to deal with similar things, but eventually you realize things like board scores don't define who you are. I have no problem marrying a doctor (in fact, part of me would like to because then we'd have similar interests and could relate to each other's stress), and if you both pick the right specialties or have private practices I'm sure that would allow you more time with your kids.
 

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My sig. other isn't a doctor, but is in science. The question we've talked about is me being a Dr. and him maybe not having that title, and how our mail will say "Mr. and Dr. X." That really bugs him, but no way I'm not using the "Dr."! It's traditional for the woman to be ok with "Dr. and mrs." but when the gender is flipped it can be hard for people's egos to adjust.
 

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my wife is a CPA with her masters in accounting. she wants to follow me though!
 

LucidSplash

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This is an interesting thread. I too am already married so it's not a concern I'll have while in med school. But it reminds me of something my aunt told me about.

She's a radiologist. When she started medical school my grandfather (also a radiologist) told her not to date her classmates. She was one of only like 4-7 women in her class mind you, considering it was 30+ years ago. Her father told her to keep her male classmates as just friends to avoid any "unncessary complications" during her school years. She followed his advice - but also ended up marrying a resident she met while in med school (they married after she graduated) and they're still married today.

Interesting how some perceptions can change with time and shifts in society.
 

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volcanicglass said:
My sig. other isn't a doctor, but is in science. The question we've talked about is me being a Dr. and him maybe not having that title, and how our mail will say "Mr. and Dr. X." That really bugs him, but no way I'm not using the "Dr."! It's traditional for the woman to be ok with "Dr. and mrs." but when the gender is flipped it can be hard for people's egos to adjust.
funny. my engineer boyfriend couldn't care less if i'm the doc. he'd be thrilled to stay home all day with the kids puttering around his own machine shop. our only issue is that he was a little sad when i said i'd keep my maiden name but the thing is, my maiden name shows where i come from and links me to my parents, who have the same name and are both doctors. being Dr. Boyfriends-last-name kind of takes the pride away from my family and gives it to his, who i only met a few years ago.

if your sig other got a PhD, he'd be a doc too.
 

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DNAroolez said:
Wow, you guys potentially sound like an episode of the Cosby Show. Good for you! I wish you luck with your four or five charming young children! ;)
Ah, you're not the first person to make the comparsion...

But four or five kids? Not unless they're adopted. :barf: :)
 
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Chinorean said:
For the girls--would you feel weird if you were a doctor and you married a HS history teacher? Do you think people would look at your marriage with a raised eyebrow because of the difference in status/money?
Not at all. In fact, it'd make me feel as though my money were really being put to good use in the family. Why do both people need to make 200k+ a year? It seems like an awful waste to me. Also, teachers are generally good w/ kids :thumbup:
 

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Caboose said:
I am going to be very wary about it. Go to a coffee shop and start b.s.ing and one of the first things that comes out of people's mouths is, "So, what do you do?"
If you're a teacher, architect or whatever, it's a conversation piece, but don't you think it's a little different if you say, "doctor" or "lawyer"? I'm not looking forward to the ordeal.

Caboose.
Yeah, I know what you mean. During one of my flights, the guy who sat next to me was a piano professor who was coming back from a tour of the steinway factory, and we had a good time talking about music. Then, we got on the subject of what I was doing, and once I said medical school, the conversation died. Still, not everyone has that attitude about med school. I'm lucky enough to have some non-med friends who are actually more excited about medicine than I ever will be!


Has anyone started a relationship the year prior to entering med school? That is what I have right now, and I can't help but feel I should really try hard to make it last (even if we have to go long-distance) b/c the impression I'm getting is that you don't meet people, much less start relationships, in med school.
 

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funshine said:
b/c the impression I'm getting is that you don't meet people, much less start relationships, in med school.
From friends at current medical schools I was under the impression that people are hooking up all the time.
 

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Bernito said:
From friends at current medical schools I was under the impression that people are hooking up all the time.
hooking up or having relationships?
 

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isobel said:
funny. my engineer boyfriend couldn't care less if i'm the doc. he'd be thrilled to stay home all day with the kids puttering around his own machine shop. our only issue is that he was a little sad when i said i'd keep my maiden name but the thing is, my maiden name shows where i come from and links me to my parents, who have the same name and are both doctors. being Dr. Boyfriends-last-name kind of takes the pride away from my family and gives it to his, who i only met a few years ago.

if your sig other got a PhD, he'd be a doc too.

I have the same issue. I really would like to keep my last name as a doc, but he is not into that at all... :( Don't really know how to work that. My last name is just so much nicer than his (I will end up being Dr. Hamm after marriage :eek:
 

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Dave D you soo silly. You say you want a 6ft tall, smart , etc and then you turn around and say you are not picky, seriously?

QUOTE=Dave_D]As long as she's a 6ft tall, smart, hot, blond Swede I won't mind if she's a Dr or not but I'm not picky :D

Seriously though I don't know.(And for those that care I'm 5'9")[/QUOTE]
 

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isobel said:
hooking up or having relationships?
You say potato... I think "hooking up" is how courtship begins for our generation.

The single students I know, and other I have talked to at interviews were complaining about the number of couples getting married in year 4.
 

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I'm not getting married, but I have no intention of hooking up with other doctors once I get there... my boyfriend owns/runs/works two blue-collar businesses (one is a painting--exterior/interior/commerical/residential, and the other is a carpet cleaning deal); and I don't know how much he makes a year, but that's really not any of my business, nor is it an issue. What's important as far as SO's careers is that they are good with the money they do have and that they have similar philosophies with money: like we both don't use credit to buy things-- we won't buy it if we can't pay for it, and we both don't live above our means...
 

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My fiance and I are both applying to medical school right now, we may or may not end up at the same school, but will definitely be in the same city. We plan on getting married the summer after M1. We didn't meet until after I was finished with my undergrad and we aren't competitive people so it works well. I'm glad we are going through this together, it makes it so much better.
 

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I'm dating an artist, we met when I was a graphic designer but I don't think he's very excited about following me to med school, especially if it means leaving his precious california.. maybe i'll end up getting my MRS with my MD after all :p
 

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Already married. Our relationship is definitely a case of opposites attracting -- I'm very academically oriented and somewhat introverted, she's never been academically inclined but has an amazing memory for events and people and she's a total extrovert. Professionally she has a lot of potential but currently works only part-time in order to spend more time with our two kids. I admit that sometimes I've looked longingly at doctor couples and thought, man, they've got it made. But every family situation comes with trade-offs, and I certainly can't complain about mine. My wife and children are beautiful in so many ways, and they support me 100% in my desire to pursue a new career. I think you can make almost anything work if you want it to.
 

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great sentiment humuhumu (are you hawaiian?)

My hubby is a contractor, and let me tell you - THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HAVING a CONSTRUCTION MAN IN THE HOUSE 24/7! I never have to worry about plumbing/heating/remodeling or anything - he does it all wooo hooo :D

I dated docs in the beginning of med school and found my relationships boring because all we did was talk about - you guessed it, MEDICINE. So I'm really thankful I found a great guy that compliments me outside of my profession.

I think it all depends on what type of person you are that makes a marriage work. Personally - I could never stay married to another doc, but thats me, I'm sure it works out wonderfully for a whole a slew of others :)

I say just find the one that fits and wear it :)
 

little_late_MD

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Asherlauph said:
like we both don't use credit to buy things-- we won't buy it if we can't pay for it, and we both don't live above our means...
Taking out loans for Med School would technically be living beyond your means....

Seriously though, my fiance and I are the same way. It's amazing how much you can afford to pay for when you aren't paying off credit card bills. BTW, we'll both be going to med school at the same time.
 

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Both my parents are doctors and have an amazing relationship. Also, my mom makes slightly more than my dad. I don't think the profession or the amount of $$$ coming in really has anything to do with it. I think they are both incredibly hard workers and compassionate which is why they were attracted to each other....and also why then happen to both end up as doctors.

As for me, he can be a doctor or he can be a teacher or whatever. But he needs to be supportive, have a good sense of humor, and ambitious....and treat my like a princess!!!!
 

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I read an article about this before, but I can't seem to find it again...

From what I remember, Dr divorce rates, particularly in residency years, were pretty high IF one of the pair was not a Dr. On the other hand, Dr-to-Dr marriages had a better than average divorce rate. The explanation was something to do with being able to relate the stresses of the profession with someone that understood.

But, as people have been saying, I think this depends on the personality of the Dr. I can see how, for some people, the last thing they want to do is dwell on their stress (not me, I love to :D ). They'd rather forget all about it, so in that case, maybe a non-doc SO is the answer.
 
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