ewww, creepy TA

[synapse lapse]

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Wow, so this thread is turning into guys generalizing what women are like. What if the OP isn't a girl? Ever consider that?

Wait OP so are you male, female, android, single cell organism, computer mainframe.... I am confused 😕

 

[austinap]

Wait OP so are you male, female, android, single cell organism, computer mainframe.... I am confused 😕

Well, if we make the assumption that the OP is human and normally sexed, there are two options.

1) OP is a girl, has no sex drive, and has essentially admitted that she will never make the first move and is thus letting her love life be forever at the mercy of the less fair sex.

2) OP is a guy, and this changes the context of the entire story. In this case, he's probably be extremely homophobic and has failed to understand that the relationship between guys is not the same in every culture. The guy was probably just trying to make conversation and all the OP hears is gay sex.

Of course, the human and normally sex part may have been a poor assumption, in which case judging by the racial stereotypes in the original post, the most likely case is that the OP is a robogeisha.

 

[GoSpursGo]

I think that if the OP wanted their gender known, they would probably volunteer it.

 

[Snowman334]

Of course, the human and normally sex part may have been a poor assumption, in which case judging by the racial stereotypes in the original post, the most likely case is that the OP is a robogeisha.

Hey! I find this incredibly small minded! Keep in mind that there is also the possibility that the OP is a snow woman!

 

[austinap]

Hey! I find this incredibly small minded! Keep in mind that there is also the possibility that the OP is a snow woman!

Keep dreaming, lover.

 

[bannie22]

hahah poor OP.

her desire for the world to know that her TA is hitting on her has backfired...


come on, who comes to sdn to ask for ADVICE on how to deal with SHORT ASIAN BODY ODOUR TAs????

either
1) no life.
2) no friends.
3) need higher self-esteem


😛

4) or just plain crazy.

 

[austinap]

hahah poor OP.

her desire for the world to know that her TA is hitting on her has backfired...


come on, who comes to sdn to ask for ADVICE on how to deal with SHORT ASIAN BODY ODOUR TAs????

either
1) no life.
2) no friends.
3) need higher self-esteem


😛

4) or just plain crazy.

Well... I think the facts that the OP is a freshman had still has 1.3k posts might give some insight into what's going on. 🙄

Oh well, I enjoy the direction this has taken 🙂

 

[Snowman334]

hahah poor OP.

her desire for the world to know that her TA is hitting on her has backfired...


come on, who comes to sdn to ask for ADVICE on how to deal with SHORT ASIAN BODY ODOUR TAs????

either
1) no life.
2) no friends.
3) need higher self-esteem


😛

4) or just plain crazy.

Well, hey, that's kinda mean! 🙁

But, OP, if you are still reading this, you have already received some good advice (regardless of your gender, domain and kingdom, be it biological, chemical or technological!), and hopefully you will realize that we are teasing you in the most loving way! 🙂

 

[dingyibvs]

Well, hey, that's kinda mean! 🙁

But, OP, if you are still reading this, you have already received some good advice (regardless of your gender, domain and kingdom, be it biological, chemical or technological!), and hopefully you will realize that we are teasing you in the most loving way! 🙂

Pfft, you're just sympathizing with her because she's your woman(snow woman) 😛

 

[austinap]

Pfft, you're just sympathizing with her because she's your woman(snow woman) 😛

Shhh! We're supposed to be playing the bad guys, that way snowman can hop in and look like the hero so the OP will help him thaw his popsicle!

 

[bannie22]

^
^

sorry i might have offended your woman, snowman 🙁

 

[bannie22]

Shhh! We're supposed to be playing the bad guys, that way snowman can hop in and look like the hero so the OP will help him thaw his popsicle!

ooooh this getting a little too hot for snowman to handle!

 

[Snowman334]

ooooh this getting a little too hot for snowman to handle!

Leave her alone you jerks! 😡

 

[greatnt249]

Leave her alone you jerks! 😡

 

[Moosecakes]

We got a White-knight on our hands!!!!

 

[FuturaDocta]

Just give him what he wants and he'll give you a REAL tutor session that you ain't eva gonna forget (sorry, a little scrubs just burst out of me).

Seriously, just get help from friends or someone else. But, I don't think he is really asking too much about you. Maybe he is just trying to build a rapport with you since you are repeatedly coming for TA help. Man, just imagine, some cute student keeps returning for an intro class to get "help."

 

[austinap]

A med student that reads xkcd. I have some faith left in the world.

 

[synapse lapse]

Shhh! We're supposed to be playing the bad guys, that way snowman can hop in and look like the hero so the OP will help him thaw his popsicle!

Oh snap that's hilarious.

 

[synapse lapse]

A med student that reads xkcd. I have some faith left in the world.

xkcd rocks. I love that james bond one, I think it's my favorite.

 

[austinap]

Man, just imagine, some cute student keeps returning for an intro class to get "help."

Plus, that actually does happen. I had a student that obviously knew what she was doing that would always come in to early office hours when she knew I would be there and nobody else would, and then she wouldn't want to talk about chemistry at all. 🙄

 

[Eye Cue]

When we're working on math problems he always starts asking me personal questions. It started out being "What's your major?" and turned to more personal things like "Where are you from?"

So where are you from? 😉

 

[schrizto]

Don't say "short asian guy" in such a derogatory manner as if you're sooo above him. Don't be one of those girls who gets a self esteem kick by thinking everyone is in love with them and putting them down for no reason.

Most people I don't know that I encounter every day are indifferent to me, and I prefer it that way, so I don't believe that everyone is in love with me.

 

[schrizto]

I see that the replies to this thread have gotten immature.

Oh well, I got the advice I needed. If he starts asking anything that becomes more personal than the questions he has asked already, I will tell him to **** off.

 

[Handy388]

I see that the replies to this thread have gotten immature.

Oh well, I got the advice I needed. If he starts asking anything that becomes more personal than the questions he has asked already, I will tell him to **** off.

let me guess, you are Asian yourself and you dislike your own people, too, yeah? You must be such a precious little flower.

 

[austinap]

I see that the replies to this thread have gotten immature.

Oh well, I got the advice I needed. If he starts asking anything that becomes more personal than the questions he has asked already, I will tell him to **** off.

You're a freshman. If you continue to take life this seriously, it's going to end up being a whole lot longer than you'd like. Go enjoy yourself a bit.

As a side note, if I had a student get pissed off at me for asking basic background questions (what's your name, major, where are you from, etc...) I would take it as a personal offense, and would refuse all but the most cursory help. The way you've described things here, YOU are the one in the wrong, not your TA.

Since SDN likes to relate everything to medicine, are you going to react the same way when one of your less-than-beautiful patients asks you where you're from? Everyone always talks about empathy and all that good stuff, but it all stems from treating people like people, which it doesn't seem like you're able to do in this case.

 

[schrizto]

As a side note, if I had a student get pissed off at me for asking basic background questions (what's your name, major, where are you from, etc...) I would take it as a personal offense, and would refuse all but the most cursory help. The way you've described things here, YOU are the one in the wrong, not your TA.

Since SDN likes to relate everything to medicine, are you going to react the same way when one of your less-than-beautiful patients asks you where you're from? Everyone always talks about empathy and all that good stuff, but it all stems from treating people like people, which it doesn't seem like you're able to do in this case.

If you didn't read the first post clearly, he asks these questions in the middle of me working on math. I'm strictly business and asking about homework, he asks a question about me. You're taking this too personally because you TA classes yourself.

 

[austinap]

If you didn't read the first post clearly, he asks these questions in the middle of me working on math. I'm strictly business and asking about homework, he asks a question about me. You're taking this too personally because you TA classes yourself.

No, I read that. I also admitted the guy was awkward. You're still taking offense at what appears to be nothing. Awkward conversation != sexual harassment. The strictly business thing doesn't really help your case either, it comes across more as you showing up and expecting him to just answer all of your questions without you having to treat him as a person. That's ridiculous.

If you came to my office hours and got pissed at me for asking you where you're from or what your major is, I'd tell you to **** off and to find another TA, because I'm done helping you.

 

[schrizto]

No, I read that. I also admitted the guy was awkward. You're still taking offense at what appears to be nothing. Awkward conversation != sexual harassment. The strictly business thing doesn't really help your case either, it comes across more as you showing up and expecting him to just answer all of your questions without you having to treat him as a person. That's ridiculous.

If you came to my office hours and got pissed at me for asking you where you're from or what your major is, I'd tell you to **** off and to find another TA, because I'm done helping you.

I haven't stated it was sexual harassment, just that I have been bothered by it. And I answered his questions respectfully. I told him my major and what state I was from and made sure the conversation would end there.

 

[austinap]

I haven't stated it was sexual harassment, just that I have been bothered by it. And I answered his questions respectfully. I told him my major and what state I was from and the conversation would end there.

You were definitely implying that it was some sort of harassment and that he is in the wrong for asking. You're being way too uptight about this, but if it really bothers you find someone else to help you. It seriously sounds like you need to go have some more fun though. This is your first year of college, it's going to be a miserable four years if you treat it all this way. Med school will be worse.

 

[chman]

All joking aside, I agree with the people that say to lighten up. I can't believe some people have suggested that this is harassment. First off, if it were me, I would be more offended if someone that constantly helped me did not show the slightest interest in why I was working so hard. Next, in order for something to be harassment it has to be 1) Unwanted attention (since you are the one seeking attention for math help I don't think that counts) 2) Inappropriate (asking what someone's major is or where they are from is not inappropriate, it is basic conversation) and 3) The person being "harassed" must let the other person know that their attention is unwanted.

Obviously I can't judge you OP because I don't know you. But if I could make the suggestion from what I have read on here; lighten up a little. Not everyone will fit into a mold of what you want them to be, especially working a a hospital. You will deal with people who have not bathed in weeks, drug addicts, obese people, mean people, violent people, criminals etc., and you will still need to find a way to deal with them.

If you don't like how this person is taking time out of their schedule to help you than go somewhere else. I am sure there is another student who does not mind.

 

[ILikeDrugs]

I haven't stated it was sexual harassment, just that I have been bothered by it. And I answered his questions respectfully. I told him my major and what state I was from and the conversation would end there.

Maybe you should try being a bit more assertive. You can't expect him to be able to read your mind. He doesn't know what you want. He may be new to the country and isn't familiar with social customs. He's probably just trying to be a "nice and social American." You need to tell him in a curtious way, "*Name*, I realllly need to understand this math and don't have much time. I really need to stay focused on math right now." There's no need to stomp all over the poor guy's balls. But, if he doesn't take no for an answer then you have the right to walk away.

 

[Spiker]

I've been going for help for calc and this has been bothering me. In class we are given a set of problems on the computer that's due the next day and I never finish on time. I have to go to a lab right after the class, and what I do is after the lab I go back for help when there's one TA there. This is the only time I can get help before the problems are due.

The TA is really weird. When we're working on math problems he always starts asking me personal questions. It started out being "What's your major?" and turned to more personal things like "Where are you from?" I know this doesn't sound like much but he asks these things out of nowhere, like:

Me: So how do you find the tangent line for this equation?
TA: Where are you from?
Me (thinking to myself): Answer my question, loser.

He's this short greasy asian guy with BO who doesn't speak English very well and grunts a lot when he attempts to explain things. I also get the feeling when I'm working on problems he's staring at me instead of what I'm writing, and he always seems way too happy when I show up for math help. I don't want to socialize with this guy, I want calc help . It's gotten to the point where I'm dreading going for help sessions... am I overreacting?

I find your racial description offensive, what does asian have to do with it? He doesnt speak English probably because he is a foreign student with full ride to your college. Chinese from mainland are nice like that dont flatter yourself by assuming that he is hitting on you...It is not like he is asking if you got a BF..

 

[austinap]

Maybe you should try being a bit more assertive. You can't expect him to be able to read your mind. He doesn't know what you want. He may be new to the country and isn't familiar with social customs. He's probably just trying to be a "nice and social American." You need to tell him in a curtious way, "*Name*, I realllly need to understand this math and don't have much time. I really need to stay focused on math right now." There's no need to stomp all over the poor guy's balls. But, if he doesn't take no for an answer then you have the right to walk away.

Sure, OP can be more assertive. However, if the guy is taking an hour to help the OP out with math, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect a few minutes of empty conversation in there either. I have students come in with one or two quick questions all the time, and I don't bother with small talk - I help them and they leave, no problem. But if someone comes in wanting an entire tutoring session, I want to feel that I'm being treated as at least a little bit more than a tool to get them what they want. This is especially true if the tutoree is a repeat customer.

This is a general life lesson: the more you give, the more you get. Being a little bit decent to this guy might get you a lot more of the help you need. As a TA, there are certain things we're required to do, everything else is extra. We'll never get fired for not being good teachers, or even for being outright unhelpful. We're essentially only required to show up, and even that is flexible. If we wanted, we could sit in a room and give you all the wrong answers, and it's unlikely that anyone would even give us a scolding. We actually teach you guys stuff because we like the material and hope you will too. We want you to understand, and we want you to do well. I can be a damn good teacher when I want to be, but if students come in and act like they deserve my help and offer nothing in return, or if they're at all snotty to me, they're going to get crap from me.

This guy is probably sitting down having a beer with his friends right not bitching about this one really prudish girl that keeps coming to his office hours asking stupid questions and then acting pissed when he asks where she's from.

 

[schrizto]

Maybe you guys are right about the lightening up, because I'm usually not in a happy, sociable mood when I show up for help. By the time I go for calc help, it's 5pm and I've been in class since 9 in the morning. I go through three classes and one lab with an instructor who talks to the class like they're in kindergarten before that. And since you guys have taken labs before, you should understand the feeling when am lab is finally over: you're tired of standing for so long and just want to get out of the room.

But instead of going back to my dorm after lab I have to trudge to the computer lab and have this guy help solve math problems and he goes about it in a roundabout way because he doesn't always understand what the math problem is asking. Oh, and did I ever mention that I don't like math?

 

[austinap]

Maybe you guys are right about the lightening up, because I'm usually not in a happy, sociable mood when I show up for help. By the time I go for calc help, it's 5pm and I've been in class since 9 in the morning. I go through three classes and one lab with an instructor who talks to the class like they're in kindergarten before that. And since you guys have taken labs before, you should understand the feeling when am lab is finally over: you're tired of standing for so long and just want to get out of the room.

But instead of going back to my dorm after lab I have to trudge to the computer lab and have this guy help solve math problems and he goes about it in a roundabout way because he doesn't always understand what the math problem is asking.

You know, 9-5 is a standard work day. Expect to work a lot longer hours than that, and don't be pissed about doing so. If you're that pissed off about studying at that time, take a break, eat some dinner, then go get help somewhere else. If this guy isn't giving you good help anyways, you might as well find a better way to study.

 

[schrizto]

This is a general life lesson: the more you give, the more you get. Being a little bit decent to this guy might get you a lot more of the help you need. As a TA, there are certain things we're required to do, everything else is extra. We'll never get fired for not being good teachers, or even for being outright unhelpful. We're essentially only required to show up, and even that is flexible. If we wanted, we could sit in a room and give you all the wrong answers, and it's unlikely that anyone would even give us a scolding. We actually teach you guys stuff because we like the material and hope you will too. We want you to understand, and we want you to do well. I can be a damn good teacher when I want to be, but if students come in and act like they deserve my help and offer nothing in return, or if they're at all snotty to me, they're going to get crap from me.

This guy is probably sitting down having a beer with his friends right not bitching about this one really prudish girl that keeps coming to his office hours asking stupid questions and then acting pissed when he asks where she's from.

That's what you don't get. I DO act decent to this guy. I don't show it if I'm offended. You read what I write about the situation and you get the idea that I'm some stuck-up female who treats other people like crap.

 

[chman]

Maybe you guys are right about the lightening up, because I'm usually not in a happy, sociable mood when I show up for help. By the time I go for calc help, it's 5pm and I've been in class since 9 in the morning. I go through three classes and one lab with an instructor who talks to the class like they're in kindergarten before that. And since you guys have taken labs before, you should understand the feeling when am lab is finally over: you're tired of standing for so long and just want to get out of the room.

But instead of going back to my dorm after lab I have to trudge to the computer lab and have this guy help solve math problems and he goes about it in a roundabout way because he doesn't always understand what the math problem is asking. Oh, and did I ever mention that I don't like math?

Is there any other time you can go, or are those his only office hours?

 

[MSSM2013]

That's what you don't get. I DO act decent to this guy. I don't show it if I'm offended. You read what I write about the situation and you get the idea that I'm some stuck-up female who treats other people like crap.

I am sorry, you are a stuck up bitch who's incredibly racist, and if you ever interview at my school I will make sure to let our admission's office about your great lack of cultural understanding.

Good luck in all your future endeavors. I hope you stop biting the hand that feed you.

 

[chman]

I am sorry, you are a stuck up bitch who's incredibly racist, and if you ever interview at my school I will make sure to let our admission's office about your great lack of cultural understanding.

Good luck in all your future endeavors. I hope you stop biting the hand that feed you.

There is no need for name calling dude. The OP admitted that she is a little stressed and that she might need to lighten up a bit.

 

[ColonelTigh]

I agree with the OP: Short asians should be put down back in their place where they belong /sarcastic

 

[daisy44]

You're a freshman with over a thousand posts? Maybe you should get out a little...

 

[MSSM2013]

There is no need for name calling dude. The OP admitted that she is a little stressed and that she might need to lighten up a bit.

if OP ever wants to be a physician, she needs to learn professionalism (aka know your place) now. If a resident make the racist comment about her Chinese patient who merely try to connect with her, she's gonna get her freaking license suspended.

believe it or not, asking about where people come from is called establishing rapport, a part of history taking.

 

[schrizto]

if OP ever wants to be a physician, she needs to learn professionalism (aka know your place) now. If a resident make the racist comment about her Chinese patient who merely try to connect with her, she's gonna get her freaking license suspended.

believe it or not, asking about where people come from is called establishing rapport, a part of history taking.

Right, so I am racist because I mentioned the TA is asian.

 

[ColonelTigh]

lol, you have a funny selective memory

 

[synapse lapse]

I don't think your racist OP, but I do think we all have a pretty good handle on the kind of person you are. My guess is you are an asian female yourself who studies all day and has no life and no sex drive. You wake up at 7-8 and follow a rigid schedule daily. You likely take clases 9-5 as you mentioned, and probably never skip class or lab. Then you head to tutoring in the evening and expect it to be strictly business as you are a robot. After this you likely continue a rigid schedule with an allotted hour for dinner. Then I imagine you commence studying until 9-10pm, and post on SDN periodically throughout that time to further your goal of getting into medical school. Then you go to bed and repeat the cycle daily. How far off am I? Are you sure you are not an android?

 

[austinap]

I don't think your racist OP, but I do think we all have a pretty good handle on the kind of person you are. My guess is you are an asian female yourself who studies all day and has no life and no sex drive. You wake up at 7-8 and follow a rigid schedule daily. You likely take clases 9-5 as you mentioned, and probably never skip class or lab. Then you head to tutoring in the evening and expect it to be strictly business as you are a robot. After this you likely continue a rigid schedule with an allotted hour for dinner. Then I imagine you commence studying until 9-10pm, and post on SDN periodically throughout that time to further your goal of getting into medical school. Then you go to bed and repeat the cycle daily. How far off am I? Are you sure you are not an android?

Yep, that's basically the mental picture that I had built up. I'd also guess that you're the type of student that, if you ask any questions (I'm guessing you ask very few), they're along the lines of 'will this be on the test' or 'how will this be tested' rather than 'why is this interesting' or 'could you apply this to xxx'.

Regardless of if we're right or wrong, you should be aware that this is the image you portray. You might want to work on that.

 

[MSSM2013]

If this may please you, my fellow SDNers, I can assure you no Asian females like that are in our class. They are friendly, have no internalized suppression issue with their culture, can work with their peers, love Asian food and above all, all incredibly beautiful.

Interview process do weed out the weirdos.

 

[Fakesmile]

Give OP a break. She has just expressed her annoyance with an unhelpful TA who doesn't teach course material that well and annoys her by asking random questions in the middle of solving problems. I would be annoyed as well if I were in her situation.
Also, I can't deny that there was some tint of racism when she referred to the guy as "short greasy asian guy", but she's only a freshman right now and it's not like she is supposed to have a high level of maturity on these things as a freshman. It's something that one should work on throughout one's undergrad career.

 

[smq123]

If a resident make the racist comment about her Chinese patient who merely try to connect with her, she's gonna get her freaking license suspended.

believe it or not, asking about where people come from is called establishing rapport, a part of history taking.

Well, probably not get her license suspended. She would get in trouble with her program, but you probably wouldn't get your license suspended for that.

if OP ever wants to be a physician, she needs to learn professionalism (aka know your place) now.

I am sorry, you are a stuck up bitch who's incredibly racist, and if you ever interview at my school I will make sure to let our admission's office about your great lack of cultural understanding.

Calling random people on the internet "stuck up bitches" when you don't know them at all isn't very professional, either.

Maybe you guys are right about the lightening up, because I'm usually not in a happy, sociable mood when I show up for help.

A couple of things:

- I think you might be reading too much into things. If your TA is Asian, as you said, and recently came from Asia, it's likely that his English isn't great. He may be taking any chance that he can get to practice his English - I'm sure that, as a grad student, he has limited time and opportunity to converse in English.

Your TA may also be unaccustomed to typical North American interactions, and is overcompensating as a result. My parents (who are also Asian immigrants) do this a lot, I find. They are sometimes overly friendly to grocery store cashiers and waitresses - because they've been told that Americans consider it polite if you smile and exchange some small talk. This is pretty foreign to their culture, so I think they've trained themselves to do this, and it comes across as a little forced.

Finally, recognize that, at least, your TA is attempting to help you. He's probably very tired, too (yes, you've been in class since 9 AM; he's probably been up since 6 AM), and it is really, really, REALLY freaking hard to try and teach someone something like calculus in a foreign language. It's hard enough to navigate a grocery store where everything is labeled in another language; try MATH.

And yes, a lot of science/math grad students tend to be a little....interesting. I had a chem TA (while I was a college student at Pitt, by the way 😀) who lived around the corner from me. I'd see him walking up the hill to the Chevron Science Center, talking frantically to himself in his own language, and occasionally beating himself on the shoulders and chest. <shrug> Whatever; he was a good teacher and a good TA, and didn't seem like an axe murderer, so I didn't really care all that much.

 

[bannie22]

alright. guys. im sure the OP is not racist, she probably just had a bad day, and she probably came across the wrong way, you know when we are all unhappy about something/someone, we just talk without thinking.

and shes probably 4 years younger than the average age on here.
i honestly think shes not entirely racist and that comment was just badly expressed! so we shud forgive her!!!



however, i do feel that her life revolves around here, so dont hate on her, she has nowhere else to go!!!!