Family Upset Medical School

[traveldr92]

So I finally got into medical school. I'm 27 and my family is super upset that I'm going. I didn't even get a congratulations for getting in. It took me two tries to get into school, three MCAT exams and a lot of hard work and tears. My family is mainly upset about my age especially that I'm female. Not married, no kids. Anybody else dealing with an unsupportive family?How did you get through this?

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[DocOrBust2019]

So I finally got into medical school. I'm 27 and my family is super upset that I'm going. I didn't even get a congratulations for getting in. It took me two tries to get into school, three MCAT exams and a lot of hard work and tears. My family is mainly upset about my age especially that I'm female. Not married, no kids. Anybody else dealing with an unsupportive family?How did you get through this?

It's your life. They need to understand and respect that.

My family will be supportive if I'm lucky enough to get an acceptance, so I can't say I'm going through what you are, but I can say statistically you're not old for med school. 27-28 is only 1-3 years older than the average age of matriculants at most schools. As far as kids or whatnot? If you want them, you can still have them at some point, or adopt.

You should be celebrating your acceptance and they should be doing that with you. Don't let their lack of support get you down!

 

[purplegown13]

No comments other than I'm sorry this is happening to you. Families have a lot of expectations for their children, especially daughters. I'm 35 and just starting my pre-reqs. When I went to grad school the first time my family said "isn't college enough?" so I can imagine how they'll feel about this.

Your life, your timeline. I hope your family can come around to see and honor your hard work, success, and happiness.

 

[deleted480308]

you get through it by going to school and being a doctor

 

[Fidelio17]

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, but if they're not supportive about this it sucks to be them because - you're going to be a doctor! Congrats!

I started med school at 29, & I'm female. I'm not married & have no kids, & I'm at peace with that for this stage of my life. It's not too late & you're not too old. Once you start med school you won't have time to listen to your family's opinions about this anyways.

Living well is the best revenge.

 

[eqkc]

Same reaction from my family. Continued to badger me and bring me down with hurtful words so M2 year I finally cut them out of my life and did so. much. better. academically and mentally. Still get hateful messages sent to me via roundabout ways... but I love what I'm doing every day even as a surgery intern so those ****ty days when they manage to sneak through with spiteful messages are greatly outnumbered by my good days when I'm doing what I'm meant to do. Just because they're adults and blood doesn't mean they know everything.

 

[futuremdforme]

There's no rule against meeting a partner during medical training... And shopping for a partner is not a job. So they will have to get over it. Congrats!

 

[traveldr92]

Thank you everyone! This makes me feel a lot better

 

[BTDT]

My wife left when I decided to pursue medicine, it happens. Time heals most things though. Only look forward from here. You can worry about the family stuff when your work is done.

 

[Blueprint Med School]

You're not too old to go into medicine, even if it seems like your family believes so! If this is your passion, then just believe that your family has your best interest at heart and will eventually come around once they see your happiness. They might be concerned that you won't be financially sound until after residency, when you'll be at least 35, but remember that by your early 40s, you'll be more well off than 98% of other people your age.

Congratulations on your acceptance!

Kevin W, MCAT Tutor
Med School Tutors

 

[ed*26]

If they're really getting on your back about it, you can let them know that your chances of marrying a doctor and having a household with annual income >$500k just rose dramatically.

 

[DokterMom]

that I'm going. I didn't even get a congratulations for getting in. It took me two tries to get into school, three MCAT exams and a lot of hard work and tears. My family is mainly upset about my age especially that I'm female. Not married, no kids. Anybody else dealing with an unsupportive family?How did you get through this?

So glad it's your parents and not your husband and kids -- but still a downer. Sounds like their definition of "success" for you is based more on marriage and children and being "Mrs. Him" instead of succeeding in your own right and making your own choices.

I'd give Mom and Dad a sit-down and explain that you're hurt by their lack of support and tell them what you want from them. Close with something along the lines of how much you love them, and that you would be very sad if their lack of support led to a loss of closeness. (Then quickly leave the room and give them sufficient time and space to process and adjust.)

But no matter what - your life, your terms, and your definition of success. Never measure your own life using someone else's yardstick.