Friends/Cliques in Dental School

[hellowhatsup]

Hello all!

First post here

I'm hoping to get a little bit of advice regarding my first year of dental school. After browsing around, I heard a lot of people say that dental school is a lot like high school. This really scares me because I had an awful time in high school. I went to a small private school, and there just happened to be nobody that I could connect with in my class, and I got left out of all the cliques and ended up isolated for four years. This really hurt my self esteem and confidence in social situations. However, I was able to struggle through and did very well academically, but I was miserable.

Honestly, I think I might have some kind of selective social anxiety (I totally just shut down) which only rears its ugly head specifically in peer to peer social interactions with new people or people I am uncomfortable around. I have no problem talking to people I'm comfortable with. I also smashed my interviews, and I talk/interact really well with patients when I dental assist.

In college I lucked out because I found someone that made an effort to be my friend during orientation, despite my initial awkwardness and avoidance. Once I got comfortable with him, I was able to branch out to the other friends that he had made, and I went on from there to have a good group of close friends. BUT all that likely never would have happened if that one person hadn't made the effort to get to know me initially.

Frankly I really don't like clique culture. I'd much rather have 1-2 close friends that I know have my back.

So to current dental school students I ask you this.

Is dental school really just like high school? How fast do cliques form, and how fast do they "close" typically? If I don't make the strongest first impression during orientation week, is it still possible to "break in" to cliques after they form? Is it feasible to have your entire support network (I'm going to a big Uni) outside of dental school if things don't work out? Lastly, what advice would you give someone in my situation?

I know this is a lot of questions, but if you have answers/insight to any they would be greatly appreciated!

Also, in case anybody is wondering if someone with this kind of social anxiety should really be going in to dentistry, I will state once again that I am quite good at structured conversation (at least in my opinion) like doctor to patient interactions, and after a lot of shadowing/volunteering and dental assisting I can safely say that I truly love (at least before I get exams crammed down my throat) the dental profession. I would just hate to be miserable for my 4 years of dental school because of social isolation.

Thanks for reading

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[ysrebob]

It is a little bit like high school, and there will be some cliques. But you won't be without friends unless you want to be. Some of the best friends I've ever had are old D school buddies - we still keep up with each other years later. It will likely be the same for you.

Keep the big picture in mind though. High school was just a stage in life we all needed to go through. As an adult you're choosing to go to dental school to make a huge, HUGE investment; you're going to sink hundreds of thousands of dollars and four years of your life into this. Serious s**t. Don't stress about the social climate, focus on learning what you need to learn so you can make good on this enormous investment.

 

[TanMan]

Hello all!

First post here

I'm hoping to get a little bit of advice regarding my first year of dental school. After browsing around, I heard a lot of people say that dental school is a lot like high school. This really scares me because I had an awful time in high school. I went to a small private school, and there just happened to be nobody that I could connect with in my class, and I got left out of all the cliques and ended up isolated for four years. This really hurt my self esteem and confidence in social situations. However, I was able to struggle through and did very well academically, but I was miserable.

Honestly, I think I might have some kind of selective social anxiety (I totally just shut down) which only rears its ugly head specifically in peer to peer social interactions with new people or people I am uncomfortable around. I have no problem talking to people I'm comfortable with. I also smashed my interviews, and I talk/interact really well with patients when I dental assist.

In college I lucked out because I found someone that made an effort to be my friend during orientation, despite my initial awkwardness and avoidance. Once I got comfortable with him, I was able to branch out to the other friends that he had made, and I went on from there to have a good group of close friends. BUT all that likely never would have happened if that one person hadn't made the effort to get to know me initially.

Frankly I really don't like clique culture. I'd much rather have 1-2 close friends that I know have my back.

So to current dental school students I ask you this.

Is dental school really just like high school? How fast do cliques form, and how fast do they "close" typically? If I don't make the strongest first impression during orientation week, is it still possible to "break in" to cliques after they form? Is it feasible to have your entire support network (I'm going to a big Uni) outside of dental school if things don't work out? Lastly, what advice would you give someone in my situation?

I know this is a lot of questions, but if you have answers/insight to any they would be greatly appreciated!

Also, in case anybody is wondering if someone with this kind of social anxiety should really be going in to dentistry, I will state once again that I am quite good at structured conversation (at least in my opinion) like doctor to patient interactions, and after a lot of shadowing/volunteering and dental assisting I can safely say that I truly love (at least before I get exams crammed down my throat) the dental profession. I would just hate to be miserable for my 4 years of dental school because of social isolation.

Thanks for reading

Your first paragraph describes dental school very much. Small class, intimate relations, and if you don't cultivate those relations, you will be left out of a lot advantages provided by being part of cliques.

If you would rather have 1-2 close friends in dental school, you need to make sure that they have the connections to the groups that can help you out. Otherwise, dental school is going to be one hell of a ride.

Cliques form fast, they break apart and form readily within the first few months. Most cliques are racially based, one religion based usually. Why do you need a support network? Emotional support? Academic support? If it's emotional support, you can get that anywhere outside dental school. Academic support, not so much. You need the cliques and upperclassmen to make your journey easier.

My advice? Establish dominance and a reputation early.

 

[hellowhatsup]

Thanks for all the responses!

Your first paragraph describes dental school very much. Small class, intimate relations, and if you don't cultivate those relations, you will be left out of a lot advantages provided by being part of cliques.

If you would rather have 1-2 close friends in dental school, you need to make sure that they have the connections to the groups that can help you out. Otherwise, dental school is going to be one hell of a ride.

Cliques form fast, they break apart and form readily within the first few months. Most cliques are racially based, one religion based usually. Why do you need a support network? Emotional support? Academic support? If it's emotional support, you can get that anywhere outside dental school. Academic support, not so much. You need the cliques and upperclassmen to make your journey easier.

My advice? Establish dominance and a reputation early.

For me, my need for support is completely emotional. I have absolute confidence in my academics, and I frankly prefer studying and doing everything on my own. My undergrad had its own set of pre-health cliques that shared old tests, labs, and that kind of thing. I stayed far away from that and did very well on my own. I have strong study skills and I am able to build relationships with my mentor figures (profs, TAs) easily. Is getting those advantages you mentioned still that important (Like is dental school just that much more challenging), or is it doable without?

 

[TanMan]

Thanks for all the responses!


For me, my need for support is completely emotional. I have absolute confidence in my academics, and I frankly prefer studying and doing everything on my own. My undergrad had its own set of pre-health cliques that shared old tests, labs, and that kind of thing. I stayed far away from that and did very well on my own. I have strong study skills and I am able to build relationships with my mentor figures (profs, TAs) easily. Is getting those advantages you mentioned still that important (Like is dental school just that much more challenging), or is it doable without?

Doable without, but on a competitive scale/gunning for residency, you need every advantage you can get. If all you want is to be a GP and don't care about specializing, then getting the highest grades doesn't really matter. If you think you want to specialize or definitely want to specialize, then you need every advantage you can get. You are no longer competing against the riffraff of undergrad. You are competing against the best of the best and you need to be in it to win. I don't think dental school is that hard. Hell, if I could study the week before and do well, I don't think the material is all that hard. The competition is just tougher (if you care to compete). Otherwise, dental school is a relative walk in the park... almost like a marathon, but at your own pace (3-4 year time limit, of course).

I don't know much about emotional support, but I would assume that you can get that anywhere.

 

[321931]

I was friends with the top girl students in my class. Yes, I had to flirt a bit...but hey having the best notes in class worked out pretty well lol.

 

[2TH MVR]

Unfortunately .... DS can be like high school. But this type of environment (gunners, cliques, popular students, jocks, etc. etc.) exists in EVERY environment. Personally ..... starting in HS .... I simply checked out of all the social crap. Did my own thing. I found support OUTSIDE of HS, undergrad, DS, postgrad. I did not want my life judged by a small group of people in school.

Therefore I chose REAL life outside of the educational ropes. I was the guy who worked at jobs during HS, undergrad and DS. I found people OUTSIDE of the DS much more interesting than those dental students. Realistically in DS ... you are always competing with your fellow students. Especially if you're after specialization. The pressure is less if your sole goal is general dentistry.

I had mentioned it before that approx 1/3 of my class were part of a religious LDS clique. I was not a part of this. I had a few DS friends that I studied with during D1,2. D3,4 ..... I ventured outside of school (worked as a personal trainer at Gold's Gym) and met some interesting contacts. Found some students who liked to play tennis and golf on the weekends. I did my OWN thing in DS.

As for emotional support .... my long term GF joined me my last year of DS. She was all the emotional support I needed. To this day .... we have been happily married for 30 years.

The point is. Find a few good study friends. Don't limit yourself to the students in DS. DS is temporary. Treat it as such.

 

[charlestweed]

Dental school was a great place for me to meet people and make friends. I did not only make friends with people in my class but also with people in the classes above and below mine. I had only been in the US for 7 years when I started dental school. During my HS and college years, I spent most of my time learning the new language, studying hard, and working part time so I didn’t have time to meet people. My busboy job at Disneyland helped me a lot in learning to speak English but I still didn’t have enough confidence to make friends with people who were born and raised here….because of cultural differences. So when I started dental school, I only made friends with people who are Asians like me. More than half of my classmates were Asians and about 15 of them came from the same country where I am from.

I shared an apartment with 4 Asian roommates, who were also my classmates. They are practically Americans because they came here when they were like 1-2 yo. One of them was a sport fanatic. He taught me the rules of American football and baseball. Whenever there was an English word that I didn’t know, I just asked one of them.

Since our dental school was a P/F school, we didn’t need to compete against each other for class rank…. and more than half of us (36 out of 70 students) got accepted to post grad programs. We helped each other to take notes for all the classes. We collected lecture handouts for those who missed classes.

In clinic, we assisted each other to put on rubber dams, mix PVS material, hold the suction etc. My classmates gave me perio, bridge, partial denture cases that I needed for graduation requirements. I gave my roommate my back up perio patient so he could use for his state board exam etc.

After graduation, we continued to meet regularly because we all have young kids and there were a lot of birthday parties to go to. I currently share an office space with my wife's classmate, who is a general dentist, and I am treating his oldest son.

 

[redhotchiligochu]

Your school sounds awesome, really curious where you attended, UCLA/UCSF?

I wish my school was P/F and more of a team effort lol

Dental school was a great place for me to meet people and make friends. I did not only make friends with people in my class but also with people in the classes above and below mine. I had only been in the US for 7 years when I started dental school. During my HS and college years, I spent most of my time learning the new language, studying hard, and working part time so I didn’t have time to meet people. My busboy job at Disneyland helped me a lot in learning to speak English but I still didn’t have enough confidence to make friends with people who were born and raised here….because of cultural differences. So when I started dental school, I only made friends with people who are Asians like me. More than half of my classmates were Asians and about 15 of them came from the same country where I am from.

I shared an apartment with 4 Asian roommates, who were also my classmates. They are practically Americans because they came here when they were like 1-2 yo. One of them was a sport fanatic. He taught me the rules of American football and baseball. Whenever there was an English word that I didn’t know, I just asked one of them.

Since our dental school was a P/F school, we didn’t need to compete against each other for class rank…. and more than half of us (36 out of 70 students) got accepted to post grad programs. We helped each other to take notes for all the classes. We collected lecture handouts for those who missed classes.

In clinic, we assisted each other to put on rubber dams, mix PVS material, hold the suction etc. My classmates gave me perio, bridge, partial denture cases that I needed for graduation requirements. I gave my roommate my back up perio patient so he could use for his state board exam etc.

After graduation, we continued to meet regularly because we all have young kids and there were a lot of birthday parties to go to. I currently share an office space with my wife's classmate, who is a general dentist, and I am treating his oldest son.

 

[charlestweed]

Your school sounds awesome, really curious where you attended, UCLA/UCSF?

I wish my school was P/F and more of a team effort lol

UCLA. I really enjoyed my time there. The P/F curriculum really made things a lot less stressful. I knew a lot of students from the cross town rival school, USC, as well. USC had a mobile dental clinic program, that treated kids in the underserved areas, and they invited a couple of UCLA students to join them a few times a year. That’s how I met them. I had visited their school quite often during my 3rd and 4th years. There were more good looking girls over there than at my school. It’s only a 12-mile drive. Their graduation requirements were much tougher than ours.

My younger sister graduated from UCSF. It wasn’t a P/F school when she was there. She had a lot of friends there as well.

 

[luisfigo]

Force yourself to be social early, everyone is in a get to know you situation in the beginning. There will be a lot of social events at the beginning, GO. A lot of people are friends with the people they sit next to, and then branch out from there. When study groups form, ask to be a part of one of them that you can fit in with, I guarantee you won't be rejected. Some people even jump to different study groups, or just study alone. Most people have to study mostly alone and review with a group the night before exams.

Dental school sucks as far as the stress. But it's made much better with people who are willing to help. They will have good notes, different emphasis on topics and details that you overlooked. Find people with similar goals, or not similar goals, I hang with a bunch of "gunners," people who try hard and want to specialize, but they socialize just as much as they study. I'm not trying to specialize but they drive me and I learn better when we bounce ideas off each other.

Probably the best way is to join an organization that fits you and/or your goals. Some people group together based on culture/religion/ethnicity or even a specialty, if you both want to become ortho you'll more likely become friends and hang out or study together.

Lastly, making friends in dental school is up to you, it's not that hard you just have to make the effort. Socialize in the beginning, go to the events where people go to a bar, alcohol tends to loosen people up. Just remember you're all there to become dentists and you're all going to share in misery for four years.