"Funny quotes from 'less informed' pre-meds," On-Topic Edition

[B_52]

I dated a fellow pre med once. She used to lay around all day in bed watching Netflix (no idea how she looked so good with that kind of lifestyle).

I ended up breaking up with her for the obvious conflict in lifestyle right after we sent out our primaries. She berated me for my practical list of state and DO schools and how I was only going to drag her down because she applied only to ivy leaguers. Needless to say I checked in on her Facebook the other day and she has finally been given a "prestigious offer" at AU Antigua after "turning down Penn for personal reasons" last year.


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[SydSing]

I dated a fellow pre med once. She used to lay around all day in bed watching Netflix (no idea how she looked so good with that kind of lifestyle).

I ended up breaking up with her for the obvious conflict in lifestyle right after we sent out our primaries. She berated me for my practical list of state and DO schools and how I was only going to drag her down because she applied only to ivy leaguers. Needless to say I checked in on her Facebook the other day and she has finally been given a "prestigious offer" at AU Antigua after "turning down Penn for personal reasons" last year.


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I suppose 'no offer of admission' can be filed under 'personal reasons'.

 

[AttemptingScholar]

I dated a fellow pre med once. She used to lay around all day in bed watching Netflix (no idea how she looked so good with that kind of lifestyle).

I ended up breaking up with her for the obvious conflict in lifestyle right after we sent out our primaries. She berated me for my practical list of state and DO schools and how I was only going to drag her down because she applied only to ivy leaguers. Needless to say I checked in on her Facebook the other day and she has finally been given a "prestigious offer" at AU Antigua after "turning down Penn for personal reasons" last year.


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For fun I Googled "AU Antigua" and it describes itself as "one of the most accredited Caribbean medical schools." What does that even mean? "Oh yeah, we have like 80% of a certificate saying we're a real school!"

 

[Blessthefall]

For fun I Googled "AU Antigua" and it describes itself as "one of the most accredited Caribbean medical schools." What does that even mean? "Oh yeah, we have like 80% of a certificate saying we're a real school!"

Their interpretation of the MCAT is priceless.

 

[AttemptingScholar]

For fun I Googled "AU Antigua" and it describes itself as "one of the most accredited Caribbean medical schools." What does that even mean? "Oh yeah, we have like 80% of a certificate saying we're a real school!"

Upd8 Now every ad on this site is for AUA. Every single one.

 

[freak7]

Upd8 Now every ad on this site is for AUA. Every single one.

Google's got your number.

 

[ogleea]

I forgot about this (or repressed it from my memory more likely) but I remember this guy who constantly bragged about how smart he was. He would tell everyone how he was doing calculus in middle school and reading full-length foreign language novels with perfect comprehension. Like some of it was actually painful. But anyways, he always talked about how he was amazing at all the premed classes, especially organic chemistry, and how he would tutor all his classmates and was basically their idol. He guaranteed everyone that he was a complete shoe-in for medical school.

Fast forward and I find out he's got a 2.6 GPA, failed the physics class we had together ("because the professor wasn't any good and never covered the material on the tests" ~in the two lectures he showed up to over the entire semester), and was on academic probation with no grade replacements left. This was in his fourth year working on his associates. The best part: the reason he was tutoring all of his classmates in orgo was because it was his third time taking it. He didn't pass it that time either though. The last time I saw him he decided our undergrad school was the problem, transferred, and was failing most of his classes there. Apparently he had a change of heart and wanted to do athletic training. Super irritating guy, but I kinda feel bad for him

 

[B_52]

Upd8 Now every ad on this site is for AUA. Every single one.

Lmao. Same thing happened to me. My facebook feed also gets absolutely littered with carribian medical school ad's because I once liked a feel good post that St. George's once put up regarding their local volunteer works.

 

[B_52]

I forgot about this (or repressed it from my memory more likely) but I remember this guy who constantly bragged about how smart he was. He would tell everyone how he was doing calculus in middle school and reading full-length foreign language novels with perfect comprehension. Like some of it was actually painful. But anyways, he always talked about how he was amazing at all the premed classes, especially organic chemistry, and how he would tutor all his classmates and was basically their idol. He guaranteed everyone that he was a complete shoe-in for medical school.

Fast forward and I find out he's got a 2.6 GPA, failed the physics class we had together ("because the professor wasn't any good and never covered the material on the tests" ~in the two lectures he showed up to over the entire semester), and was on academic probation with no grade replacements left. This was in his fourth year working on his associates. The best part: the reason he was tutoring all of his classmates in orgo was because it was his third time taking it. He didn't pass it that time either though. The last time I saw him he decided our undergrad school was the problem, transferred, and was failing most of his classes there. Apparently he had a change of heart and wanted to do athletic training. Super irritating guy, but I kinda feel bad for him

I wouldn't feel bad. He's in a more fitting place for his level of abilities. He'll better off for it in the long run.


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[Terry Toma]

Their interpretation of the MCAT is priceless.

In our attempt to be more holistic, we will base our review of candidates on fewer metrics. Makes perfect sense.

 

[Blessthefall]

In our attempt to be more holistic, we will base our review of candidates on fewer metrics. Makes perfect sense.

Haha yeah! Though the MCAT is a legal requirement, we don't take it into consideration while reviewing applicants. Such a joke.

 

[ogleea]

I wouldn't feel bad. He's in a more fitting place for his level of abilities. He'll better off for it in the long run.


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Yeah I agree with you there, I just meant more of the time/stress/money spent before deciding that

 

[B_52]

Yeah I agree with you there, I just meant more of the time/stress/money spent before deciding that

sounds like a total poser with affluenza anyways. I'm sure he can fall back on the ole bank of mom and dad for support.

 

[Goro]

In NY, the scientific term for people like this is "Lying sack of ****"

I went back to my undergraduate university for st Patrick's day and after the festivities our group stopped at a restaurant where I had the pleasure (sarcasm) of sitting across from a current pre-med junior.

Him after talking about how he's a genius and has the stock market figured out: yeah you know I made 16,000 last month and it's easy it's so easy I could be a millionaire by the end of the year but I just really wanna help people you know.
Me: wow how noble of you, so are you maintaining a good gpa? And doing ecs?

Him: ha yeah I have a 4.0 I barely study honestly I study the stock market more and I don't really feel I need ecs

Me: oh wow that's great who did you have for Orgo I couldn't imagine getting an A with professor x... also if you wanted to help ppl why not volunteer and show your interest?

Him: oh well yeah I mean Orgo was my one A- besides that I have a 4.0

Girl next to him: what about biochem? Didn't you get a B

Him: yeah just those two besides that I have a 4.0... and I mean when schools see I gave up the potential for easy millions in the stock market they'll know I'll really want to help people

Me: uhhhmmmm I don't know about that but have you started studying for the mcat/ know when you're going to take it?

Him: ahh I'll probably take it in the summer sometime and I'm not gonna study I don't really believe in studying for a specific text

Me: do you know what the mcat is? I wouldn't do that

Him: listen you wouldn't understand it's not that big of a deal ...

The whole time he was speaking so confidently and arrogantly at the end I didn't even have it in me to tell him I had just been accepted myself. Oh the other thing was, he ordered no food just talked about how he knew people would finish theirs and that he could get a free meal out of it... all of this from a guy who supposedly made 16,000 just last month from the stock market....

 

[pseud0]

"

Upd8 Now every ad on this site is for AUA. Every single one.

sigh yeah.

also googled myself.
"Before students are eligible to continue to clinical rotations they have to pass the USMLE Step 1. FYI, most U.S. medical schools have a 96% first-time pass rate. AUA? 97%. That’s right, 97%* of our students at this Caribbean medical school pass the USMLE Step 1 on their first try.

*As of October 2015"

****conditions may apply must be among the lucky 40 percent that pass the comprehensive practice exam on their first try or get kicked out while losing hundreds of thousands of dollars

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

****conditions may apply must be among the lucky 40 percent that pass the comprehensive practice exam on their first try or get kicked out while losing hundreds of thousands of dollars

I wonder if that's anywhere in the admissions offer or the school handbook that you can be kicked out for not passing the pretest the first time. I feel like it must be and everyone just assumes they'll be in the 40%.

 

[B_52]

I wonder if that's anywhere in the admissions offer or the school handbook that you can be kicked out for not passing the pretest the first time. I feel like it must be and everyone just assumes they'll be in the 40%.

Yeah their attrition rate between MS1 and MS2 is massive. If you were to count those as fails it would be more like %60 fail rate lol

 

[Endoxifen]

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

Edit: Continued reading and you cited it. This forum is great.

 

[Lawpy]

The joys of medicine ( @Tenk and @ProfMD could especially enjoy this)

"Some day, we will go beyond this little blue planet, spanning the stars, numbering in the trillions, and we will keep AI at bay by making it do all the paperwork."

 

[RogueBanana]

I understand what you are saying but I am speaking from experience as my specific test and a few of my collueges tests were orgo concept based/biochem heavy.

In terms of overall science comprehension, organic chemistry and it's ability to build from gen Chem and into biochemical processes, is much more relevant than physics, for the MCAT.

In my opinion, much more important to understand orgo.

Chem buff here (tutor and minor in ochem)

Basic ochem concepts are relatively common, but nothing more advanced than what you would learn in the first week of class. It's pretty commonly accepted that you won't be writing out the wittig reaction on the MCAT. They changed the format to reduce Ochem content with the intention of making everything flow together..

 

[B_52]

<redacted>

I'm pretty jelly. When I took the old MCAT. There were at least a handful of synthesis and mechanism problems, and their potential subject matter spanned a pretty large portion of ugrad Ochem materials.


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[RogueBanana]

I'm pretty jelly. When I took the old MCAT. There were at least a handful of synthesis and mechanism problems, and their potential subject matter spanned a pretty large portion of ugrad Ochem materials.


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The change was (as far as I can tell) intentional by the AAMC.

The new test is designed to apply scientific concepts to medicine. Writing out archaic synthesis reactions is simply irrelevant for 99% of clinicians. I remember reading an AAMC content list that said that ochem makes up only about 10% of the new MCAT.

*edit*

I just checked the content lists from AAMC, ochem is up to 15% of the chemistry section. The official content lists include, as I mentioned, mostly just the basics of ochem that are relevant to the biochemical basis of life. Knowing your functional groups, basic nomenclature, polarities, acids. Crap you learn in the first month.

Ochem is simply not high yield.

Biochemistry IS high yield based on the content list (25% +) and has a basis in ochem. But I feel like the overlap between listed content is enough that an in depth review of ochem may be overkill.

 

[AttemptingScholar]

Back on Track:

A friend texted me saying she had a test review from a previous year. To clarify, test reviews are not old tests and they really don't look like the tests (it's pretty annoying), but they are meant to stay within their intended year. It's very hush-hush. She says it focuses more heavily on the first part of the class and none of the later stuff and asks my opinion if she should continue to prioritize that. The final is technically cumulative, but it's very heavily post-midterm II (like, we need it as background but it's not a whole question) and we know that. Her review only includes material from the first midterm, none of what we've been explicitly told will be on the test, and says on the front "Midterm I Review." She has, presumably, been studying the for the wrong test when the final is in three days.

 

[RogueBanana]

Back on Track:

A friend texted me saying she had a test review from a previous year. To clarify, test reviews are not old tests and they really don't look like the tests (it's pretty annoying), but they are meant to stay within their intended year. It's very hush-hush. She says it focuses more heavily on the first part of the class and none of the later stuff and asks my opinion if she should continue to prioritize that. The final is technically cumulative, but it's very heavily post-midterm II (like, we need it as background but it's not a whole question) and we know that. Her review only includes material from the first midterm, none of what we've been explicitly told will be the cus, and says on the front "Midterm I Review." She has, presumably, been studying the for the wrong test when the final is in three days.

This reminds me of a great story!

A certain genetics professor at my uni was famous for using the same exams every year. So naturally students who had a friend who took the class last year had a huge advantage (to the point of knowing every answer). Now, a lot of people I know went this route and just memorized the old exams, and they did very well (90 +)

The prof caught on, and pulled the most savage move I've ever seen at undergrad. For his final exam, he kept the first page the same, but changed the last 4 pages of the exam.

More than half the class failed, but hey, they got the entire first page right

 

[freak7]

This reminds me of a great story!

A certain genetics professor at my uni was famous for using the same exams every year. So naturally students who had a friend who took the class last year had a huge advantage (to the point of knowing every answer). Now, a lot of people I know went this route and just memorized the old exams, and they did very well (90 +)

The prof caught on, and pulled the most savage move I've ever seen at undergrad. For his final exam, he kept the first page the same, but changed the last 4 pages of the exam.

More than half the class failed, but hey, they got the entire first page right

That prof would actually have pretty great ammunition for IA's against a ton of the class, maybe even expulsions.

 

[RogueBanana]

That prof would actually have pretty great ammunition for IA's against a ton of the class, maybe even expulsions.

I'm pretty sure he made some statement on how the drop in their grades were punishment enough. He definitely could have gotten most of them expelled had he wanted to

 

[freak7]

I'm pretty sure he made some statement on how the drop in their grades were punishment enough. He definitely could have gotten most of them expelled had he wanted to

OOF. Those students got luckyyy

 

[RogueBanana]

OOF. Those students got luckyyy

For sure.

this exact situation is why I would never use old exams to study (unless legally provided by the prof)

Nightmare fuel man

 

[Goro]

"

sigh yeah.

also googled myself.
"Before students are eligible to continue to clinical rotations they have to pass the USMLE Step 1. FYI, most U.S. medical schools have a 96% first-time pass rate. AUA? 97%. That’s right, 97%* of our students at this Caribbean medical school pass the USMLE Step 1 on their first try.

*As of October 2015"

****conditions may apply must be among the lucky 40 percent that pass the comprehensive practice exam on their first try or get kicked out while losing hundreds of thousands of dollars

The scientific term for this is "lying".

 

[RogueBanana]

The scientific term for this is "lying".

Strategic misdirection

 

[RogueBanana]

Another good one:

(Hopefully I haven't posted this before)

We had an inorganic chem prof who was famous for being....well....kind of a d&#$

This was because he taught general chemistry II, a course that is required for many undergrads even in non-hard science majors. (exercise science, bio, etc...) and so much of his class consisted of dumb freshman, who couldn't tell that he was a fair but tough prof and not being mean to them (darn spoiled milennials )

Anyway, I took his class and we were talking about the pH scale, acids, bases, and how to derive chem equations using calculus. Needless to say it was painful.

The Prof mentioned that bases produce OH- ions in solution which allows them to conduct electricity and he went off on a tangent about how bases are useful for catalyzing reactions by giving energy off or something, I don't quite remember.

This freshman girl stood up. Now, I'll never forget, till the day I die what happened next :

"ahem, professor"

She said from below her sorority ball cap with an air of sanctimony in her voice

"That can't be correct, because acids give energy."

The professor paused, looked up at her and asked:

"What makes you say that? How?"

She replied, quite matter-of-factly, and with a triumphant smile on her face:

"Because I eat a grapefruit every morning and grapefruits are acidic! The grapefruit gives me energy so acids have to give energy!"

Now a low snicker has erupted through the lecture hall.

The professor looks up at her for about 15 seconds of pure silence.

"mhm."

He looks to the class

"Anyone else?"

For the rest of the year whenever she rose her hand he would look at her and then look away without calling on her

 

[RogueBanana]

Everyone called her grapefruit girl for at least a month.

 

[AntsInMyEyes_Johnson]

Another good one:

(Hopefully I haven't posted this before)

We had an inorganic chem prof who was famous for being....well....kind of a d&#$

This was because he taught general chemistry II, a course that is required for many undergrads even in non-hard science majors. (exercise science, bio, etc...) and so much of his class were dumb freshman who couldn't tell that he was a fair but tough prof and not being mean to them (darn spoiled milennials )

Anyway, I took his class and we were talking about the pH scale, acids, bases, and how to derive chem equations using calculus. Needless to say it was painful.

The Prof mentioned that bases produce OH- ions in solution which allows them to conduct electricity and he went off on a tangent about how bases are useful for catalyzing reactions by giving energy off or something, I don't quite remember.

This freshman girl stood up. Now, I'll never forget, till the day I die what happened next :

"ahem, professor"

She said from below her sorority ball cap with an air of sanctimony in her voice

"That can't be correct, because acids give energy."

The professor paused, looked up at her and asked:

"What makes you say that? How?"

She replied, quite matter-of-factly, and with a triumphant smile on her face:

"Because I eat a grapefruit every morning and grapefruits are acidic! The grapefruit gives me energy so acids have to give energy!"

Now a low snicker has erupted through the lecture hall.

The professor looks up at her for about 15 seconds of pure silence.

"mhm."

He looks to the class

"Anyone else?"

For the rest of the year whenever she rose her hand he would look at her and then look away without calling on her

That's golden haha I would've had to leave the room or I would've burst out laughing instantly

 

[DoctorSwagger]

Everyone called her grapefruit girl for at least a month.

I bet you fell for her after she was given that name, Mr. RougeBanana


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[RogueBanana]

I bet you fell for her after she was given that name, Mr. RougeBanana


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Nah fam, I don't date other fruits. Closest I ever came was a girl who loved kiwis but that was a weird time in my life...

 

[AntsInMyEyes_Johnson]

Nah fam, I don't date other fruits. Closest I ever came was a girl who loved kiwis but that was a weird time in my life...

"...but that was a weird time in my life..."
.....
*glances over at his avatar gif*

 

[freak7]

Nah fam, I don't date other fruits. Closest I ever came was a girl who loved kiwis but that was a weird time in my life...

She left you for a kiwi didn't she? It's ok to cry. You're safe here.

 

[RogueBanana]

"...but that was a weird time in my life..."
.....
*glances over at his avatar gif*

My current girlfriend embraces my weirdness.

 

[RogueBanana]

She left you for a kiwi didn't she? It's ok to cry. You're safe here.

I CAN'T HELP THE FACT KIWIS ARE NATURALLY TAN AND BANANAS AREN'T

 

[Lawpy]

I CAN'T HELP THE FACT KIWIS ARE NATURALLY TAN AND BANANAS AREN'T

looks okay to me!

 

[RogueBanana]

looks okay to me!

 

[Penguin94]

Today was talking to a classmate whose sister was going to begin a Caribbean school this fall.

Classmate: "they have a really high of a match-rate"... "their have higher Step 1 scores than average" ... "My sister must have been a really good candidate cuz she was accepted just a few days after the interview"
Me: "Oh nice" And it was obvious the sister didn't get in anywhere else so I try to be supportive
Me: "Congrats to her, what specialty does your sis have in mind?"
Classmate: "She's going for neurosurgery"

 

[freak7]

Today was talking to a classmate whose sister was going to begin a Caribbean school this fall.

Classmate: "they have a really high of a match-rate"... "their have higher Step 1 scores than average" ... "My sister must have been a really good candidate cuz she was accepted just a few days after the interview"
Me: "Oh nice" And it was obvious the sister didn't get in anywhere else so I try to be supportive
Me: "Congrats to her, what specialty does your sis have in mind?"
Classmate: "She's going for neurosurgery"

I will never understand the obsession with neurosurg. It sounds so uninteresting to me.

 

[RogueBanana]

I will never understand the obsession with neurosurg. It sounds so uninteresting to me.

Beat me to it.

It's always neuro

 

[Citizen #3]

I will never understand the obsession with neurosurg. It sounds so uninteresting to me.

According to a girl I know who wants to go into either neurosurgery or cardiothoracic surgery, those are the most exciting fields to go into because you can't live without your heart or your brain.

 

[freak7]

According to a girl I know who wants to go into either neurosurgery or cardiothoracic surgery, those are the most exciting fields to go into because you can't live without your heart or your brain.

I was trying to come up with something funny to say and I was about to write "yeah well you can't live without your skin either, but you don't see anybody gunning for derm"

... and then I realized

 

[tessellations]

I will never understand the obsession with neurosurg. It sounds so uninteresting to me.

I blame Grey's Anatomy for the general premed obsession with neurosurgery. Goddamn McDreamy.

I know someone who told me they either wanted to do Neurosurgery or Derm. Like what??? Those are totally different specialities!

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I will never understand the obsession with neurosurg. It sounds so uninteresting to me.

Have you ever seen a crani from the field? It's cray cray. But spine is boring AF, and 8-hr cranis get old.

 

[freak7]

Have you ever seen a crani from the field? It's cray cray. But spine is boring AF, and 8-hr cranis get old.

Haven't had the pleasure.

 

[DoctorSwagger]

I will never understand the obsession with neurosurg. It sounds so uninteresting to me.

Just listening to Ben Carson talking makes you realize what becomes of someone who chips away at a brain Tumor for twelve hours

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