How do I stop being a gunner?

[deweystrontium]

I wouldn't say I'm a gunner in the strictest sense. I love academic competition, publishing papers, and I love a good fight. I also like losing with grace. But I'm still extremely competitive. I love working with people, and I don't steal work or anything. Instead, I go above and beyond (for example in my physics classes I shared Latex-formatted note set with the entire class and everyone, including the prof, appreciated it) to make sure I know material well enough to teach others.

I know most gunners have this "secretive" mentality about how they should hide their accomplishments, but I honestly like to get recognition for things I've worked hard for. I don't fear that someone will "copy" me or potentially get ahead of me. Instead, I straight up share my techniques for how I managed to accomplish what I accomplished and hope that other succeed if they follow my advice.

I'm not a gunner, but I obsess over games and competitions, and I think it can be overbearing at times. To me, this premed thing has sorta been like that: One big competition. I'm not like traditional gunners in that I know the optimal way to win games of this nature is through collaboration. I'm willing to work in teams, but my competitiveness bleeds into the team. For example, I want my friend group of premeds to do better than some other group of premeds.

Is this healthy? My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. What do I do?

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[MonkeyArrow]

My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session.

Is this true?

 

[deweystrontium]

Is this true?

Yes it is true. Like now that I got accepted, I can't help but gravitate towards watching Najeeb lectures in my downtime in preparation for STEP 1, the next big hurdle in this "competition."

I can't help myself and I don't really know what to do because I find solace in this.

 

[panbimbo]

This is gunna be good

 

[deweystrontium]

This is gunna be good

I have a feeling this thread might devolve into an unnecessary roast-sesh, but I think the people here are little more level-headed than those of Reddit. I honestly want to change but I just don't know where to start. It's like the second I decide to ease up, neuroticism takes over. I guess I just want to be chill again.

 

[panbimbo]

I have a feeling this thread might devolve into an unnecessary roast-sesh, but I think the people here are little more level-headed than those of Reddit. I honestly want to change but I just don't know where to start. It's like the second I decide to ease up, neuroticism takes over. I guess I just want to be chill again.

To be honest with you, I take your post seriously. The reason I put the guy eating popcorn is because I feel the likes of Goro, gonnif, gyngyn and LizzyM are gonna destroy you.

To answer your question, I envy you. I wish I had that gunner mentality. You will go places with that way of approaching things. Some people may not like you, and you may acquire enemies, but any very accomplished person will have enemies who envy their ambition. At the same time, gunnery is great, but spread it to other aspects instead of premededdom. For example, if a musician, become a gunner on that instrument you play. Learn super technically challenging pieces and play them to others. If you lift, get your squat to 405 and dead to 585. You get the idea. Don't be a gunner about premed only, because once you become a physician and start working, you may end up with the question "now what?" Enjoy the journey.

 

[cj_cregg]

So first of all - it doesn't sound like you're what I would consider a gunner. Someone who works hard and does well but supports their classmates, shares notes, teaches others, gives advice, etc. - that's not a gunner. A gunner throws other people under the bus to get ahead.

That said, it doesn't sound like your need for competition, recognition, and letting pre-med take up your whole life is healthy or sustainable through med school. It sounds like a change in mindset would be helpful. The following phrases concern me a bit.

(1) this premed thing has sorta been like that: One big competition. Being pre-med, being in med school, being a doctor, etc. is not a competition. You will never be hurt by somebody else doing well. In fact, if your motivations are truly to better help patients, you should want your colleagues, friends or not, to do well in their own right, not just because collaboration or teamwork is the best way for you personally to win.

(2) I honestly like to get recognition for things I've worked hard for. If your goal in the "competition" is positive feedback...med school is gonna be real hard for you, particularly once you get to the clinical years. You will get constructive criticism or told you did something wrong far more often than praise for doing something right. You'll get told you did something wrong/bad when you didn't, and you just have to keep your mouth shut and take it. Patients will be pissed at you even though you did everything right and everything you could. If you rely on other people's positive feedback to inform how happy you are as a person rather than your own perceptions about yourself, it's going to be a rough ride.

(3) My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. This is a tough one for people to work through. Eventually, you realize that taking time off from work/medicine makes you a better doctor. You need time where you're not thinking about work/school, and you need a life outside of medicine. Without those things, you have a recipe for burnout, first of all, which will make you a worse and less compassionate doctor. Second, your entire self-worth cannot be wrapped up in you being a good student or a good doctor. When you struggle on a test, when you have a bad interaction with a patient or make a mistake (and these things will happen!) you need to have some sense of who you are as a person, not just as a doctor, to get you through those times. Again, this helps to prevent burnout. It is really hard to take good care of your patients when you're dealing with terrible depression and anxiety, and that's what this attitude can lead to.

 

[deweystrontium]

To be honest with you, I take your post seriously. The reason I put the guy eating popcorn is because I feel the likes of Goro, gonnif, gyngyn and LizzyM are gonna destroy you.

To answer your question, I envy you. I wish I had that gunner mentality. You will go places with that way of approaching things. Some people may not like you, and you may acquire enemies, but any very accomplished person will have enemies who envy their ambition. At the same time, gunnery is great, but spread it to other aspects instead of premededdom. For example, if a musician, become a gunner on that instrument you play. Learn super technically challenging pieces and play them to others. If you lift, get your squat to 405 and dead to 585. You get the idea. Don't be a gunner about premed only, because once you become a physician and start working, you may end up with the question "now what?" Enjoy the journey.

Yeah, I hope the lords of SDN don't rip me to shreds. I guess I just gotta find ways to enjoy the journey.

 

[bushido]

You aren’t a gunner.

Motivated? Yes.
Competitive? Yes.

But a gunner doesn’t share techniques and hope his/her peers succeed. You seem like a nice person, which a gunner is not.

 

[sinigang14]

First step to stop being a gunner is admitting you have a problem. You're taking a step in the right direction my friend.

 

[dr_kateb]

Is this healthy? My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. What do I do?

Yes it is true. Like now that I got accepted, I can't help but gravitate towards watching Najeeb lectures in my downtime in preparation for STEP 1, the next big hurdle in this "competition."

Jesus Christ. Probably therapy, honestly.

 

[panbimbo]

Jesus Christ. Probably therapy, honestly.

Yo don't hate. Najeeb is AWESOME. As soon as I get accepted to medical school, I'm purchasing First Aid.

OP, get First Aid!

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Yo don't hate. Najeeb is AWESOME. As soon as I get accepted to medical school, I'm purchasing First Aid.

OP, get First Aid!

Enjoy your burnout.

 

[dr_kateb]

Yo don't hate. Najeeb is AWESOME. As soon as I get accepted to medical school, I'm purchasing First Aid.

OP, get First Aid!

I don’t know what those things are. The point is that what he describes isn’t motivation, it’s an obsession/addiction. If you replace the current things he’s doing with heroin or methampthetamine it would still sound the same.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

You don’t throw people under the bus, or delight when other people fail. Competitiveness is a good quality to have. You keep doing you… Once you get to where you need to be, the neuroticism will fade. Just keep getting your girlfriend lots of presents in the meantime to keep her happy LOL


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[NYCVillain]

Haha dump your girl she sounds toxic my guy. My ex-girl used to say the same thing. At the end of the day, we're in the business to be doctors, not to please our girlfriends we've had at 19-22. You got to hustle to reach your dreams, you gotta have a Mamba mentality. If you like yourself, and are satisfied with yourself keep doing you. You're doing big things young fella, and you gonna keep doing big things with that attitude. NO BREAKS

 

[ays0110]

Haha dump your girl she sounds toxic my guy. My ex-girl used to say the same thing. At the end of the day, we're in the business to be doctors, not to please our girlfriends we've had at 19-22. You got to hustle to reach your dreams, you gotta have a Mamba mentality. If you like yourself, and are satisfied with yourself keep doing you. You're doing big things young fella, and you gonna keep doing big things with that attitude. NO BREAKS

Being a supportive partner doesn't mean being a yes-man to everything. It sounds like if the OP agrees with the advice and feedback that he's received from his girlfriend, there may be some merit to it. If what she says it's true, some change might not just be for her good, or the good of the relationship-- it might be critical to OP's own mental health.

 

[cj_cregg]

Haha dump your girl she sounds toxic my guy. My ex-girl used to say the same thing. At the end of the day, we're in the business to be doctors, not to please our girlfriends we've had at 19-22. You got to hustle to reach your dreams, you gotta have a Mamba mentality. If you like yourself, and are satisfied with yourself keep doing you. You're doing big things young fella, and you gonna keep doing big things with that attitude. NO BREAKS

No offense dude, but when you get into med school and beyond you'll realize how important it is to take breaks. "No breaks" is just not sustainable as the stress and responsibility piles on as you progress through your training. Making your girlfriend happy aside - taking care of your mental health, fostering outside interests, and growing as a person, not just as a student are all things that will make you a better doctor.

 

[Bacchus]

High dose Prozac has been proven to help with obsessive tendencies. All medical advice aside, which I’m not offering, if you’re doing well spend some time with the GF. BE safe.

 

[Goro]

I wouldn't say I'm a gunner in the strictest sense. I love academic competition, publishing papers, and I love a good fight. I also like losing with grace. But I'm still extremely competitive. I love working with people, and I don't steal work or anything. Instead, I go above and beyond (for example in my physics classes I shared Latex-formatted note set with the entire class and everyone, including the prof, appreciated it) to make sure I know material well enough to teach others.

I know most gunners have this "secretive" mentality about how they should hide their accomplishments, but I honestly like to get recognition for things I've worked hard for. I don't fear that someone will "copy" me or potentially get ahead of me. Instead, I straight up share my techniques for how I managed to accomplish what I accomplished and hope that other succeed if they follow my advice.

I'm not a gunner, but I obsess over games and competitions, and I think it can be overbearing at times. To me, this premed thing has sorta been like that: One big competition. I'm not like traditional gunners in that I know the optimal way to win games of this nature is through collaboration. I'm willing to work in teams, but my competitiveness bleeds into the team. For example, I want my friend group of premeds to do better than some other group of premeds.

Is this healthy? My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. What do I do?

You're you're not a gunner but you do need to have a life. Otherwise you will burn out

 

[AnatomyGrey12]

Lol you aren't a gunner. Gunner's don't make threads like this.

 

[Robin-jay]

I wouldn't say I'm a gunner in the strictest sense. I love academic competition, publishing papers, and I love a good fight. I also like losing with grace. But I'm still extremely competitive. I love working with people, and I don't steal work or anything. Instead, I go above and beyond (for example in my physics classes I shared Latex-formatted note set with the entire class and everyone, including the prof, appreciated it) to make sure I know material well enough to teach others.

I know most gunners have this "secretive" mentality about how they should hide their accomplishments, but I honestly like to get recognition for things I've worked hard for. I don't fear that someone will "copy" me or potentially get ahead of me. Instead, I straight up share my techniques for how I managed to accomplish what I accomplished and hope that other succeed if they follow my advice.

I'm not a gunner, but I obsess over games and competitions, and I think it can be overbearing at times. To me, this premed thing has sorta been like that: One big competition. I'm not like traditional gunners in that I know the optimal way to win games of this nature is through collaboration. I'm willing to work in teams, but my competitiveness bleeds into the team. For example, I want my friend group of premeds to do better than some other group of premeds.

Is this healthy? My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. What do I do?

I've lost several girlfriends to being too busy.

In chemistry graduate school, my days were taken up by research, teaching, rigorous coursework, presentations, grading, and the list goes on.

In medical school, there aren't as many responsibilities. You mostly just study all day. Pretty laid back besides the anatomy lab practicals. I cringe just thinking about those.

 

[bananafish94]

The traditional meaning of “gunner” has been co-opted by people who are overly obsessive/neurotic about their work. A true gunner is someone who will throw their classmates under the bus for their own gain - I don’t really think this behavior really manifests much at all until the clinical years.

While you might not be a gunner, doing this kind of thing does put you at risk of being the guy nobody wants to work with, which will not serve you well in clinical years or beyond.

 

[OdysseanUnderdog]

You use the word 'game'. It sounds like you enjoy a lot of this stuff, yes? If so, great. I personally think that it's good to lead a playful, gamified life and to enjoy what you do as much as possible, even if it's not what most people would consider fun.

That being said, balance is key. Spending time outside in nature, with friends and family, exercising, etc. and doing completely unrelated things is good for you and will help prevent burnout and improve your performance in unexpected ways. Life is also more fun if you have more than one interest/game.

Tldr: Just make sure you're doing enough self care that the fun challenges don't transition into burnout, and consider diversifying the "games" you play a little.

 

[Lucid_Dream]

Is there a problem with this? Some people just like to excel. I like those people.

Edit: I mean gunner in the sense of a perfectionist. Not a blue falcon/buddy f***er

 

[Lucid_Dream]

Haha dump your girl she sounds toxic my guy. My ex-girl used to say the same thing. At the end of the day, we're in the business to be doctors, not to please our girlfriends we've had at 19-22. You got to hustle to reach your dreams, you gotta have a Mamba mentality. If you like yourself, and are satisfied with yourself keep doing you. You're doing big things young fella, and you gonna keep doing big things with that attitude. NO BREAKS

Exactly. I had to lose my recent ex girlfriend because she was too needy and demanded too much of my time. You have to cut those people out of your life. Keep an eye out for the other go getters and surround yourself with them.

 

[dr_kateb]

Exactly. I had to lose my recent ex girlfriend because she was too needy and demanded too much of my time. You have to cut those people out of your life. Keep an eye out for the other go getters and surround yourself with them.

I remember the first time I stumbled into r/MGTOW too.

In all seriousness the last thing this guy needs is to surround himself with more workaholics and reinforce what he's doing.

 

[Lucid_Dream]

I don't know what that is, but I like surrounding myself with motivated people. I have different groups of friends related to different aspects of my life. Workout buddies that I train with, doctors that let me shadow/ check my PS, and advise me on premed, etc. Each friend of mine is a friend for a purpose, and we keep each other on track.

 

[dr_kateb]

Each friend of mine is a friend for a purpose

jesus christ

 

[bushido]

You guys all need to find balance. You dedicate your entire undergrad to medicine and you WILL burn out eventually. Find a healthy balance between school, family, social life, friendship, etc.

If you can’t do it while having fun, then you can’t do it at all.

 

[Lucid_Dream]

I get nothing out of meaningless time spent. One reason I didn't fit in when I was in the Army. I wasn't a fan of going out, getting hammered, going to strip clubs etc. I sat and read science books, played my guitar, watched educational videos in my time off. People would mess with me because they thought it was funny I suppose.

In the army, my roommate wanted me to go out with him to some club or bar one night instead of reading, and when I told him no, he poked me with a fork, and we ended up wrestling stabbing each other with a fork. Was really a strange time of my life..

In nursing, my leadership wants me to make a facebook so I can be in their group. No thanks, whats the point? I don't care about any of the silly Halloween stuff theyre going on about. I'm not gonna decorate a paper bag and make a Halloween puppet either. What the F are we? 5? They want me to go to their little events and all, and I don't get it. If I'm not at work, getting paid, why would I want to come hang out with you? I'm not your friend, I'm your coworker.

TLDR: Some of us don't care about the silly meaningless stuff in life. We're either there for the money (seems shallow to me, but to each their own), the knowledge (my pursuit), feeling of accomplishment, the adrenaline, whatever.

 

[theBriefing]

Is this healthy? My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. What do I do?

This is healthy if this is what you enjoy doing. If this fulfills you as a person, then it is no problem, under the assumption that you do not "rub" your accomplishments in people's faces but subtly allowing others to recognize your strengths. As for what your girlfriend's response, think of it as a test. Girlfriends will always test you in one way or another, whether they know that or not. Will he back down from doing what he loves because I teased him about it? Stay on your course and do what you enjoy, but be sure to also listen to her needs without flat out surrendering to them. If she notes you're always busy, don't make it a big deal out of it, but be sure to take her out on a date a few days later. Relationships are all "push and pull". Ironically, my girlfriend and I broke up today, due to circumstances that relate to being a premed, although we still loved one another. Sometimes, its best to let go of those you love when you know they are better off in the long run.

 

[panbimbo]

Enjoy your burnout.

Burn out? That's not in my vocabulary

Just kidding, of course.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

jesus christ

Pretty sure that is a dude that got banned not too long ago.

 

[bushido]

I get nothing out of meaningless time spent. One reason I didn't fit in when I was in the Army. I wasn't a fan of going out, getting hammered, going to strip clubs etc. I sat and read science books, played my guitar, watched educational videos in my time off. People would mess with me because they thought it was funny I suppose.

In the army, my roommate wanted me to go out with him to some club or bar one night instead of reading, and when I told him no, he poked me with a fork, and we ended up wrestling stabbing each other with a fork. Was really a strange time of my life..

In nursing, my leadership wants me to make a facebook so I can be in their group. No thanks, whats the point? I don't care about any of the silly Halloween stuff theyre going on about. I'm not gonna decorate a paper bag and make a Halloween puppet either. What the F are we? 5? They want me to go to their little events and all, and I don't get it. If I'm not at work, getting paid, why would I want to come hang out with you? I'm not your friend, I'm your coworker.

TLDR: Some of us don't care about the silly meaningless stuff in life. We're either there for the money (seems shallow to me, but to each their own), the knowledge (my pursuit), feeling of accomplishment, the adrenaline, whatever.

r/verysmart

 

[bushido]

Pretty sure that is a dude that got banned not too long ago.

Has to be, he’s obviously trolling

 

[Lucid_Dream]

What is the r/ thing? Is that like programming code?

People are different. Some people care about interpersonal relationships, and some of us don't. Theres nothing wrong with being either way. We are all different.

I assure you that I'm not trolling. Is it that hard to believe that some of us only care about advancing? I am going to die one day, and I want to see what I'm capable of before I'm rotting in the ground.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Has to be, he’s obviously trolling

If it’s who I think it is (and it has to be given the content), I don’t think he is lol. At least not intentionally

 

[bushido]

What is the r/ thing? Is that like programming code?

People are different. Some people care about interpersonal relationships, and some of us don't. Theres nothing wrong with being either way. We are all different.

It’s a reddit tag.

 

[bushido]

If it’s who I think it is (and it has to be given the content), I don’t think he is lol. At least not intentionally

no way

 

[dr_kateb]

Pretty sure that is a dude that got banned not too long ago.

Really? I think I have an idea too. Might need a bit more info though.

 

[bushido]

Really? I think I have an idea too. Might need a bit more info though.

I wonder why this person was banned

 

[MedicineN'Jazz]

Yes it is true. Like now that I got accepted, I can't help but gravitate towards watching Najeeb lectures in my downtime in preparation for STEP 1, the next big hurdle in this "competition."

I can't help myself and I don't really know what to do because I find solace in this.

Honestly, if you really really want to study Step 1 on your downtime. Focus on anatomy (not phys at this moment), psych, and public health (biostats, epidemiology, etc.). Students tend to focus less on these since pre-clinical years are overwhelming

 

[PeleHonuaMea]

You don't sound like a "gunner" OP, just a high achiever who cares about your teammates. Dont forget to relax a little and take care of yourself so you dont burn out and be like that jaded, impatient, and grouchy physician no one wants around.

And your girlfriend wants the guy she fell in love with, not the overachieving neurotic premed who possessed his body. There's more to life than medicine. Give her some TLC. Some wise man told my husband many years ago: "dont forget, happy wife= happy life". Never a truer word spoken .

Btw, congratulations on your acceptance!!

 

[skk_]

You definitely need to chill out with the competitiveness. Not because I think it makes you a bad person or anything like that, but because all the stuff about "winning" and getting recognition is just going to cause you to be really, really miserable in medical school and probably burn out. This goes doubly so if you manage to get into a top tier school that your post history seems to indicate you probably will/already have, and realize (1) how much harder you'll have to work compared to undergrad if you go in with this type of competitive mindset when every other person you meet had a 3.9+/520+, and if you end up at a pass/fail unranked institution (2) that trying to outcompete everyone on things like grades takes not only an immense amount of effort, but literary has no tangible benefit at all. We're all so used to looking at school averages of 3.8+/518+ on MSAR that its easy to forget the moment you start, the average student actually becomes someone with those stats. It honestly didn't really hit me until I sat my first final here where I studied my ass off for it, managed to score in the high 90s-range, but before I could even feel good about it read the class stats and realized the class average on what was a difficult final was in the mid 90s, and a quarter of the class had basically scored 100%.

What is "winning" to you, and what do you want to get "recognition" for in medical school? If its for doing well in medschool itself, that's going to be nothing but disappointment because literary no one will care if you're scoring 100s or 70s on things, and many of the smartest people you meet will often never score that great simply because they know it doesn't matter, and choose to prioritize other things. If its about step 1 and where you end up matching, you're going to be even more frustrated when you see people who didn't do terribly well in classes or even step 1 go on to match into the residency programs you may have wanted over you simply because they had strong personal connections to the program you lacked. There will also be a huge amount of people who will choose to skate by during pre-clinical years with blah grades that you might think you're "out-competing", but likewise end up matching into the places you wanted because they prioritized what was important to them with the limited number of hours they have, scored something like 270+ on Step 1 while producing an ungodly number of publications, but just choose to never really talk about any of it.

 

[Medic741]

I have a feeling this thread might devolve into an unnecessary roast-sesh, but I think the people here are little more level-headed than those of Reddit. I honestly want to change but I just don't know where to start. It's like the second I decide to ease up, neuroticism takes over. I guess I just want to be chill again.

Get a hobby. Do it for fun & strongly consider what’s driving you to work like this. Finding someone to talk to could be really helpful bwforw heading into the MED school furnace

 

[Turkishking]

You’re not a gunner, I’m not sure I’ve met one. Athough, I can see why you talk about the process so often. I still do to this day.

 

[Robin-jay]

Can a gunner stop being a gunner?

Can God stop being God?

 

[Lucca]

So first of all - it doesn't sound like you're what I would consider a gunner. Someone who works hard and does well but supports their classmates, shares notes, teaches others, gives advice, etc. - that's not a gunner. A gunner throws other people under the bus to get ahead.

That said, it doesn't sound like your need for competition, recognition, and letting pre-med take up your whole life is healthy or sustainable through med school. It sounds like a change in mindset would be helpful. The following phrases concern me a bit.

(1) this premed thing has sorta been like that: One big competition. Being pre-med, being in med school, being a doctor, etc. is not a competition. You will never be hurt by somebody else doing well. In fact, if your motivations are truly to better help patients, you should want your colleagues, friends or not, to do well in their own right, not just because collaboration or teamwork is the best way for you personally to win.

(2) I honestly like to get recognition for things I've worked hard for. If your goal in the "competition" is positive feedback...med school is gonna be real hard for you, particularly once you get to the clinical years. You will get constructive criticism or told you did something wrong far more often than praise for doing something right. You'll get told you did something wrong/bad when you didn't, and you just have to keep your mouth shut and take it. Patients will be pissed at you even though you did everything right and everything you could. If you rely on other people's positive feedback to inform how happy you are as a person rather than your own perceptions about yourself, it's going to be a rough ride.

(3) My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. This is a tough one for people to work through. Eventually, you realize that taking time off from work/medicine makes you a better doctor. You need time where you're not thinking about work/school, and you need a life outside of medicine. Without those things, you have a recipe for burnout, first of all, which will make you a worse and less compassionate doctor. Second, your entire self-worth cannot be wrapped up in you being a good student or a good doctor. When you struggle on a test, when you have a bad interaction with a patient or make a mistake (and these things will happen!) you need to have some sense of who you are as a person, not just as a doctor, to get you through those times. Again, this helps to prevent burnout. It is really hard to take good care of your patients when you're dealing with terrible depression and anxiety, and that's what this attitude can lead to.

Word

 

[kelminak]

I wouldn't say I'm a gunner in the strictest sense. I love academic competition, publishing papers, and I love a good fight. I also like losing with grace. But I'm still extremely competitive. I love working with people, and I don't steal work or anything. Instead, I go above and beyond (for example in my physics classes I shared Latex-formatted note set with the entire class and everyone, including the prof, appreciated it) to make sure I know material well enough to teach others.

I know most gunners have this "secretive" mentality about how they should hide their accomplishments, but I honestly like to get recognition for things I've worked hard for. I don't fear that someone will "copy" me or potentially get ahead of me. Instead, I straight up share my techniques for how I managed to accomplish what I accomplished and hope that other succeed if they follow my advice.

I'm not a gunner, but I obsess over games and competitions, and I think it can be overbearing at times. To me, this premed thing has sorta been like that: One big competition. I'm not like traditional gunners in that I know the optimal way to win games of this nature is through collaboration. I'm willing to work in teams, but my competitiveness bleeds into the team. For example, I want my friend group of premeds to do better than some other group of premeds.

Is this healthy? My girlfriend claims that being pre-med has consumed my life and it's all I ever think or talk about in my downtime. She says I've lost the ability to make jokes and have a good time without it devolving into some prep session. What do I do?

What you described doesn't sound healthy at all. You sound like someone who loves to drive themselves to be the best at whatever their goals are. Why not make one of your goals to be the absolute best at work-life balance too and grind just as hard? Figure out how to use Anki, etc. to get rockstar grades, and in turn use that to spend more down-time with your girlfriend? Turn it into an objective that you can actively strive for.

I was fortunate to do a post-bacc at my med school last year that got me extremely efficient with my studying. Excluding days before a test, most days I'll have a few hours free to do whatever I want because I ironed out my methods *cough*literallyjustAnki*cough* and when I'm done studying that's it: I'm done. Do you understand how valuable it is to have a supportive girlfriend in medical school? Someone who will cook you dinner or do a little extra cleaning because they know you're working hard to set up a future for the both of them? I know for a fact that my girlfriend is amazing and you have to put effort into that or they'll leave you for someone else who will.

Some other people here that are supportive you sound absolutely neurotic. You made this post because you know it's become a problem and it's affecting your relationship that you value. Don't let the idiotic redpillers tell you a relationship isn't as important as med school. You can do both and you can do both fairly well. Put in the effort to figure out how.