How hard is it to find a boyfriend during med school or residency??

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EBTrailRunner said:
I agree that it's not appropriate to be divulging patient information on an internet forum, but I think it's a stretch to claim that women will start to avoid getting a pelvic exam because of one poster's comments. This a forum for healthcare professionals - I highly doubt your typical female patient will be navigating these threads, and if she is, it's rather foolish to let what an 18 or 19 year old pre-med has to say have that significant an effect on you.
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Yeah, I'm gonna have two pelvic exams just to prove her wrong.
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I'm confused. Did posters mix up this and the med school students gone wild thread?
 
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EBTrailRunner said:
I agree that it's not appropriate to be divulging patient information on an internet forum, but I think it's a stretch to claim that women will start to avoid getting a pelvic exam because of one poster's comments. This a forum for healthcare professionals - I highly doubt your typical female patient will be navigating these threads, and if she is, it's rather foolish to let what an 18 or 19 year old pre-med has to say have that significant an effect on you.
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First off im 21. And I no way divulged specific information. I just said I saw a certain vaginal disease and that it was gross. I also stated that I thought pelvic exams were usually gross in general based on my own shadowing experience. I don't how me saying these general things would make someone reading these threads not want to go get needed medical treatment... its not like I'm saying "Oh Mrs. Smith had one disgusting vagina!" I see no reason for anyone to think saying infected vaginas are gross should be a taboo statement.
 
sliceofbread136 said:
First off im 21. And I no way divulged specific information. I just said I saw a certain vaginal disease and that it was gross. I also stated that I thought pelvic exams were usually gross in general based on my own shadowing experience. I don't how me saying these general things would make someone reading these threads not want to go get needed medical treatment... its not like I'm saying "Oh Mrs. Smith had one disgusting vagina!" I see no reason for anyone to think saying infected vaginas are gross should be a taboo statement.
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Is it possible that Mrs. Smith had a disgusting vagina AND a vaginal disease? I'm willing to investigate both possibilities individually, but there's some comorbidity here that I just can't ignore.
 
sliceofbread136 said:
First off im 21. And I no way divulged specific information. I just said I saw a certain vaginal disease and that it was gross. I also stated that I thought pelvic exams were usually gross in general based on my own shadowing experience. I don't how me saying these general things would make someone reading these threads not want to go get needed medical treatment... its not like I'm saying "Oh Mrs. Smith had one disgusting vagina!" I see no reason for anyone to think saying infected vaginas are gross should be a taboo statement.
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I was referring to your last post mentioning specific patient information. Anyway, I'm not looking to get into this debate. Frankly, I could care less what you posted. I think Ms. dagnytaggart is being overly sensitive. Perhaps she and johnnydrama could switch usernames?
 
dagnytaggart said:
I've watched a family member die from cancer and it is the absolute worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. Knowing that people like you are talking about something this serious and horrible on a message board because of the drama of story makes me want to vomit or cry. Not sure which. I'm done with this thread. This seriously bothers me.
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?? I seriously don't understand how me telling about someone dying that I saw while shadowing in anyway effects you at all. You are probably the most illogical person I've ever seen on this board. The worst part is you are also the most outspoken and opinionated, which makes for a rather annoying and time wasting situation. Be bothered if you want, I don't really care.
 
sliceofbread136 said:
?? I seriously don't understand how me telling about someone dying that I saw while shadowing in anyway effects you at all. You are probably the most illogical person I've ever seen on this board. The worst part is you are also the most outspoken and opinionated, which makes for a rather annoying and time wasting situation. Be bothered if you want, I don't really care.
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I just want to point out that you're being unfair. There are so many more illogical people on this board. Many of them have been banned, but many still remain, and she can not possibly compete with them. They've set unreasonable standards of anti-logic for this board, no?

I think it stands to reason that from now on we should just close all threads with any kind of illogical reasoning in them. It just isn't fair to everyone else on this forum.
 
dagnytaggart said:
I've watched a family member die from cancer and it is the absolute worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. Knowing that people like you are talking about something this serious and horrible on a message board because of the drama of story makes me want to vomit or cry. Not sure which. I'm done with this thread. This seriously bothers me.
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So let me get this straight. You want to become a doctor yet you can't accept that doctors and other healthcare professionals may get emotionally involved in their patients struggles and need humor to diffuse the situation?
 
EBTrailRunner said:
I was referring to your last post mentioning specific patient information. Anyway, I'm not looking to get into this debate. Frankly, I could care less what you posted. I think Ms. dagnytaggart is being overly sensitive. Perhaps she and johnnydrama can switch usernames?
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Maybe I shouldn't have included her specific disease, I was merely trying to share the general experience. Yes, I think dagnytaggart is probably a troll.
 
giantswing said:
If three years of marriage has taught me anything, it is that guys do NOT understand hints (or guessing games, or body language/"I'm FINE!" opposite day...). They like big flashing neon signs, ones preferably with their first and last name, and social security number in lights on top, just so they're sure you're talking to them.
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As a married man, I'm offended by this notion.

But you're right anyway ;)
 
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dagnytaggart said:
I've watched a family member die from cancer and it is the absolute worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. Knowing that people like you are talking about something this serious and horrible on a message board because of the drama of story makes me want to vomit or cry. Not sure which. I'm done with this thread. This seriously bothers me.
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Stop being so sensitive and melodramatic. Jesus.

I watched my great-grandma die from pneumonia just under two weeks ago, and I had to keep myself somewhat cynical/sarcastic to keep it together. Everyone did, so I understand someone else's need to do the same. Would I appreciate hearing the staff make jokes about her? No. Would I understand it? Absolutely.
 
dagnytaggart said:
Apparently my point has not been made here because I never argued about the truth of these statements. How could I? I wasn't there and I'm not a doctor or a med student so I really wouldn't know. This has nothing to do with whether or not its okay for doctors to say things to each other about patients. I'm pointing out that shadowing a doctor and then repeating/posting on the internet the specific things that were seen and overheard is obviously a grossly inappropriate thing to do. First, if someone allows you to shadow them it should be understood that whatever you see or hear is not gossip. I had thought this would be obvious to all and certainly to anyone who wants to become a doctor but apparently not. Second, patients need to be able to trust their doctors. Knowing that doctors find these things gross and are judging patients is the most surefire way to destroy that trust. When talking about pelvic exams, openly discussing how gross they are in a public forum (that now has over 7,000 views) is going to make some women feel self conscious and avoid getting a pelvic exam, or seek treatment for something that is very wrong, or worse: feel embarrassed, nervous, or ashamed while getting a pelvic exam. Finally, you realize that people have to go to the doctor right? As in, doctors can fix and solve problems that would otherwise end a persons life, severely disable them and/or cause enormous amounts of pain. People are totally dependent on medical doctors for their health. It should be understood that publicly gossiping about and judging their conditions is a massive abuse of power.
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dagnytaggart said:
sigh.
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Who's discussing specific things? Trust me, your patients will show up with disgusting findings on any given body part, and I dry heaved in the operating room yesterday at 4am because the smell was so awful.

dagnytaggart said:
Um what? I am not going to take a man out to dinner because by doing that I'm saying "I got this. I don't need you." which is of course false because i wouldnt be going out with him if i didnt need him in some way. there are circumstances that are exceptions to this but yeah, If I'm being taken on a date I'm not touching the check. I'm probably also going to insist on taking a cab everywhere so I don't ruin my shoes, and im not paying for that either.

I don't care if I can afford it. It doesn't matter. I'm a girl and I'm not paying for it. If a guy has a problem with that then we're either not going out or he's smart enough to strategically plan an inexpensive date if he's broke. He'll figure it out. I don't care how much things cost. The point is that I'm being taken out. I don't see what this has to do with equality considering I'm not losing my right to vote in the process.
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And we're done here...
 
dagnytaggart said:
I've watched a family member die from cancer and it is the absolute worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. Knowing that people like you are talking about something this serious and horrible on a message board because of the drama of story makes me want to vomit or cry. Not sure which. I'm done with this thread. This seriously bothers me.
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You have a lot of growing up to do. Your attitude in this thread shows an incredible lack of maturity.
 
Are you able to admit that what you said about paying for food and the cab stuff is completely laughable? I can't think of one decent intelligent thing to back up something like that(or support it), not one reason at all. :)
 
tantacles said:
That is an amazing movie with, and I agree you here, some amazing ass in it.
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Am I the only one who'd opt for Selma Blair over Reese Witherspoon?

There was someone in my class who looked like an Elle Woods wannabe (compete with dog in purse), but she was held back.
 
dagnytaggart said:
You know, medical schools are looking for compassion in people. I now understand how so many applicants get rejected every year.... They're all right here immaturely gossiping about serious things and ripping me apart for actually having empathy.

Oh and by the way, you're wasting your time shadowing and desperately trying to get clinical experience. It demonstrates that you didn't read the admissions requirements at most schools and have spent your free time getting perfunctory experience. But keep doing it-- it only makes me look better and stand out in even more.

How's that for being illogical? Peace out mutha f*****s!
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.
 
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dagnytaggart said:
You know, medical schools are looking for compassion in people. I now understand how so many applicants get rejected every year.... They're all right here immaturely gossiping about serious things and ripping me apart for actually having empathy.

Oh and by the way, you're wasting your time shadowing and desperately trying to get clinical experience. It demonstrates that you didn't read the admissions requirements at most schools and have spent your free time getting perfunctory experience. But keep doing it-- it only makes me look better and stand out in even more.

How's that for being illogical? Peace out mutha f*****s!
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You have to build up a thicker skin if you want to survive in medical school and as a doctor.

There will be all sorts of interesting personalities in positions of authority over you that you will need to deal with, as well as colleagues or eventually subordinates you will want as allies rather than enemies. You're going to need to come up with more constructive ways to deal with them.

I can assure you that even though it isn't ideal, you will hear residents and attendings joking about life and death situations or patient interactions. I've had to close a door to keep people in the hallway from overhearing this, but it's not uncommon and as long as people are compassionate with patients and families, a little bit of private joking can be tolerated.

So this is not just something you'll see with premeds, but doctors too. Compassion is a good thing, but after a month in a peds oncology ward you'll either be finding a way to laugh when you can or jumping off a building.
 
dagnytaggart said:
You know, medical schools are looking for compassion in people. I now understand how so many applicants get rejected every year.... They're all right here immaturely gossiping about serious things and ripping me apart for actually having empathy.

Oh and by the way, you're wasting your time shadowing and desperately trying to get clinical experience. It demonstrates that you didn't read the admissions requirements at most schools and have spent your free time getting perfunctory experience. But keep doing it-- it only makes me look better and stand out in even more.

How's that for being illogical? Peace out mutha f*****s!
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you guys should stop pricking on one person, that's not fair...despite whatever she said
 
dagnytaggart said:
You know, medical schools are looking for compassion in people. I now understand how so many applicants get rejected every year.... They're all right here immaturely gossiping about serious things and ripping me apart for actually having empathy.

Oh and by the way, you're wasting your time shadowing and desperately trying to get clinical experience. It demonstrates that you didn't read the admissions requirements at most schools and have spent your free time getting perfunctory experience. But keep doing it-- it only makes me look better and stand out in even more.

How's that for being illogical? Peace out mutha f*****s!
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I understand this post even less than the last one.... Shadowing is a flat out requirement at many schools (like Washington). You can do whatever it is you do that you think makes you so great, but it doesn't negate the fact that shadowing is an experience that medical schools value.
 
ppfizenm said:
Did you dead grandmother smoke crack while having your mom who smoked crack while having you? B/c that is the only explanation I can come up with for you.
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0266263305105717.JPG
 
druggeek said:
why should you pick up the tab? this isnt the 50s where the woman stays home and makes 0 dollars a year. if she wants to make as much money as you, then AT LEAST she should pay HALF. Logic justifies this. In fact, if woman want so much more power, they should justify it with spending MORE than a guy does. Logic justifies this again.

Personally, I've had enough with dealing with this crap. I avoid dates and just focus on hook ups/friends with benefits.
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Which women want more power? Have you ever met a girl who tells you that she wants more power from you? Yes, there is still glass sealing for many women and the reality is that in this country men are still overall favored and privileged in many areas of life.

I always pick a tab on the first date because of good manners, just like opening the door for women and elderly. Your "logic" makes it sound like you haven't been around women much.
 
druggeek said:
Sure you can... (not a 10 though, but an 8-9)

Get really jacked (like a 9/10 body)
Improve personality
Dress nicely
Fix your hair/skin
Have good confidence

Now add in prestige/money and a 9-10 is doable.
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:rolleyes:
 
giantswing said:
Life isn't fair. Get used to it.
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I wouldn't say that. She brought it on herself by provoking other posters and arguing with everyone. I don't think she would have caught as much flack had she been cool about her position.
 
ElleWoodsMD said:
I wouldn't say that. She brought it on herself by provoking other posters and arguing with everyone. I don't think she would have caught as much flack had she been cool about her position.
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is your avatar you IRL?
 
dagnytaggart said:
Knowing that doctors find these things gross and are judging patients is the most surefire way to destroy that trust. When talking about pelvic exams, openly discussing how gross they are in a public forum (that now has over 7,000 views) is going to make some women feel self conscious and avoid getting a pelvic exam, or seek treatment for something that is very wrong, or worse: feel embarrassed, nervous, or ashamed while getting a pelvic exam. Finally, you realize that people have to go to the doctor right? As in, doctors can fix and solve problems that would otherwise end a persons life, severely disable them and/or cause enormous amounts of pain. People are totally dependent on medical doctors for their health. It should be understood that publicly gossiping about and judging their conditions is a massive abuse of power.
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you think that being embarrassed during an exam is worse than avoiding an exam all together? I'm sorry.... This is one of the most demented things I have ever heard.

1. if this was in any way even remotely rooted in reality, the patient would hopefully have the brain power to avoid the "worse" situation and just not go. Your logic precludes your own situation. I havent often seen someone contradict themselves in a single statement. Bravo :thumbup:
2. You lost your poker face.... or at least showed your hand. You are responding emotionally to this, which is the only explanation for claiming that some embarrassment is somehow worse than avoiding the screen which may save your life. "embarrassment" is an abstract concept. Please do not try to quantify it. Since it is not universally constant among individuals it has not place in speculation about individuals.




I've watched a family member die from cancer and it is the absolute worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. Knowing that people like you are talking about something this serious and horrible on a message board because of the drama of story makes me want to vomit or cry. Not sure which. I'm done with this thread. This seriously bothers me.
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aaaaaaaaaand here it is. I knew there was something causing you to over react. SDNers, check it out: it always happens this way. If someone is going off the wall for no apparent reason, chances are the subject matter is hitting some exposed nerve that nobody did (or should) know about... Sorry about your family member. Losses suck. But personal, anecdotal, and emotional explosions like this will make you a crappy doc. You need to be able to handle adult situations like an adult. Your reaction here is the equivalent of crying to the teacher because johnny said a dirty word. Get over it.


You know, medical schools are looking for compassion in people. I now understand how so many applicants get rejected every year.... They're all right here immaturely gossiping about serious things and ripping me apart for actually having empathy.

Oh and by the way, you're wasting your time shadowing and desperately trying to get clinical experience. It demonstrates that you didn't read the admissions requirements at most schools and have spent your free time getting perfunctory experience. But keep doing it-- it only makes me look better and stand out in even more.

How's that for being illogical? Peace out mutha f*****s!
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You don't have empathy..... and here is where I will over react a little.... This is a concept that gets confused all the time and misappropriated by people to a very irritating extent.

having a bleeding heart is not empathizing. Also, not whole-heartedly accepting the emotional state of another as appropriate is not the same as lacking empathy. To empathize you need only to understand the situation the other is in. "I feel bad for you" is not empathy. I'm not even entirely sure what it is other than useless in most situations. By empathizing I can potentially understand the emotions that another is feeling, or understand the series of internal events that lead to those emotions. I can potentially offer insight, advice, counseling, or help. Because I have empathized.

By reciprocating an emotion, I cannot really do any of these things..... I am not saying I am barred from doing them, but this particular facet of your definition of empathy has no direct impact on the actions i listed above. Feeling the same way offers nothing to your patient. By that logic I should be shooting healthy people in the trauma ward in order to help my patient.

While we are at it... "compassion" also is not synonymous with "being nice"... $*^# pre-meds.... sometimes.... i swears :mad: get over your idealism. Join the real world and smell the roses. Little hint - they smell like freaking plants. Enough with the disillusionment.



EBTrailRunner said:
I agree that it's not appropriate to be divulging patient information on an internet forum, but I think it's a stretch to claim that women will start to avoid getting a pelvic exam because of one poster's comments. This a forum for healthcare professionals - I highly doubt your typical female patient will be navigating these threads, and if she is, it's rather foolish to let what an 18 or 19 year old pre-med has to say have that significant an effect on you.
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even if the typical patient WAS on this board, whose to say that she didnt read this and say "yeah... there ARE some really gross ones out there!" :laugh:
 
SpecterGT260 said:
you think that being embarrassed during an exam is worse than avoiding an exam all together? I'm sorry.... This is one of the most demented things I have ever heard.
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Pretty sure you misunderstood her. She was saying that if a woman is embarrassed by one exam, she might avoid future ones (to her detriment).


Also, think your talk about empathy is a bit off. Empathy = feeling someone's pain, sympathy = pitying it, compassion = caring about it.

Compassion's what we should be going for, but people use empathy interchangeably with it sometimes.
 
Empathy: the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.


I side with the former clause a little more than the latter.
 
SpecterGT260 said:
Empathy: the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.


I side with the former clause a little more than the latter.
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Common usage has blurred the lines, so it is open to interpretation a bit, but compassion is most appropriate.
 
holy sweet baby [politically correct entity] born in a manger!

I missed the 2nd part of her post where she says shadowing will be seen as a negative to adcoms.

simply amazing.
 
johnnydrama said:
Common usage has blurred the lines, so it is open to interpretation a bit, but compassion is most appropriate.
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I agree with you. But I do not agree with her previous usage of compassion. Compassion and 'being compassionate" are relative to the situation.

I can "be compassionate" to a serial murderer by not flipping the kill switch and sending him to jail for the rest of his life. However lifetime imprisonment is not a very compassionate response to a puppy who has a thorn in his paw.

One does not have to be "nice" to be compassionate.

a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
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"tough love" is a perfect example of how being a d-bag is not necessarily excluded by the above definition.
 
lingerie modeling DOES help the sick.

2 birds, 1 stone
 
SunsFun said:
Which women want more power? Have you ever met a girl who tells you that she wants more power from you? Yes, there is still glass sealing for many women and the reality is that in this country men are still overall favored and privileged in many areas of life.

I always pick a tab on the first date because of good manners, just like opening the door for women and elderly. Your "logic" makes it sound like you haven't been around women much.
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No I have. I usually hang out with girls who want to have sexual fun off the bat and avoid girls who want to go on some dates or some crap. Saves me a useless headache as well as $$$.

You sound like you have been used by chicks for $$$.

SunsFun said:
:rolleyes:
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Skinny weak guy spotted
 
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