How to deal with being single?

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
Members don't see this ad.
Re3iRtH said:
Thats a pretty good talent if someone can 'promise' themselves to not
fall in love for a specific period of time. 😉
Click to expand...
At least I resisted for a year. It's not that hard...if you stay away from the people of the opposite sex. But recently my situation has been quite the opposite. And I met someone and now I am falling in love. And I know the girl won't have the same feelings. They never do!
Sigh, cruel world!
 
I second the swing dancing recommendation...not only do you meet new people, you also get a workout, and they are typically held in churches and policed pretty well, so you won't have to worry about drunk or overly skanky people trying to grope you.

:luck:
 
and you get to wear a cool hat. (Most important)
 
GodoShingo said:
At least I resisted for a year. It's not that hard...if you stay away from the people of the opposite sex. But recently my situation has been quite the opposite. And I met someone and now I am falling in love. And I know the girl won't have the same feelings. They never do!
Sigh, cruel world!
Click to expand...

You're not the only one although I know it feels like this always only happens to us!!!
 
sprinkibrio said:
You're not the only one although I know it feels like this always only happens to us!!!
Click to expand...

At least now I know why people write poetry, and where they get their ideas from.

I mean, I could easily get laid, not to brag about it, but still females never want relationships...
 
match.com

entered medical school very single, met the woman of my dreams now we have 1.5 kids, couldn't be happier.

remember you can do/have whatever you want as long as you want it bad enough. thats how most folks got into medical school in the first place, just apply that same drive to a relationship, and stop watching tv.

Slide said:
Ok I've really resisted to post this kind of thread on the SDN forums, but after going to a Halloween party last night and seeing that most of the females there were taken, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I foolishly had the conception that if I were in medical school, my chances of meeting a nice girlfriend would be just as good as college, or even better just because of being a medical student. It seems in my class, almost every girl is married/engaged/committed, so I won't be getting any luck from interclass relationships (which may be a blessing in disguise). Every female in this city here around my age also seems to be married/engaged and it really pisses me off. I'm trying to get around to meet other females that are not in medical school, but I've had very little time to actually do so this semester.

Next semester, that won't be a good excuse because our class doesn't have gross and biochem anymore. How have you guys been able to meet other singles outside your class? Or should I just deal with the fact that I'm going to be single for a looooong time?
Click to expand...
 
anthoncr said:
match.com

entered medical school very single, met the woman of my dreams now we have 1.5 kids, couldn't be happier.

remember you can do/have whatever you want as long as you want it bad enough. thats how most folks got into medical school in the first place, just apply that same drive to a relationship, and stop watching tv.
Click to expand...

1.5 kids? Was your kid half way out of the birth canal exactly when you posted the message and so you wrote 1.5?
 
anthoncr said:
match.com

entered medical school very single, met the woman of my dreams now we have 1.5 kids, couldn't be happier.

remember you can do/have whatever you want as long as you want it bad enough. thats how most folks got into medical school in the first place, just apply that same drive to a relationship, and stop watching tv.
Click to expand...

match is driving me crazy these days
 
smq123 said:
Poor Blade. You just haven't found the right girl yet. Not all girls think that way... 😀
Click to expand...

Are you a girl? Are you married?

It isn't about how a girl thinks. The decline of sex is a fact of marriage. It isn't a sad thing. If your marriage is strong you will discover why there are more important things once you are married and the nature of sex changes to a degree.
 
TRAMD said:
Are you a girl?
Click to expand...

(Heavy, heavy sigh) YES. I am a girl. Why does everyone on SDN keep asking me that?

TRAMD said:
Are you married?

It isn't about how a girl thinks. The decline of sex is a fact of marriage. It isn't a sad thing. If your marriage is strong you will discover why there are more important things once you are married and the nature of sex changes to a degree.
Click to expand...

No, not married. And I never said that the sex would stay the same. But I think that there are benefits to sex in a long term relationship, that (for some people) keep it from dying out altogether.
 
smq123 said:
(Heavy, heavy sigh) YES. I am a girl. Why does everyone on SDN keep asking me that?
Click to expand...

Because you didn't specify your sex in your profile.

No, not married. And I never said that the sex would stay the same. But I think that there are benefits to sex in a long term relationship, that (for some people) keep it from dying out altogether.
Click to expand...

You're not? I am surprised! Ok, not really; it was obvious. Until you have been married for a number of years you are completely talking out of your behind on this. It would be a very sad thing if sex died out altogether. I didn't think I gave the impression of that happening but when you are having sex an average of once per day when dating it is not likely that pace will be kept up once you are married. You are correct that there are new benefits to sex in a married relationship. Wedding cake might not kill a woman's sex drive--I am not a woman, but I don't think so--but anyone whom believes that their sex life will be just a exciting after they are married is deluding themselves. Please don't give me the typical big-talking single person response: "That won't happen with ME." You will understand when you are married. The relationship won't be as exciting either, but this is in a good way because it is much stronger. When your relationship is strong enough that it doesn't NEED sex and it is just an added bonus for fun and to show your love, you are there.
 
Marriage? Hell the frequency of sex changed for me when I was just dating my last two girlfriends.

If you've got someone who likes you (the real you) and honestly shares your interests, then sex isn't as big a deal anymore, sometimes you would honestly just rather do something else with them.
 
TRAMD said:
It isn't about how a girl thinks. The decline of sex is a fact of marriage. It isn't a sad thing. If your marriage is strong you will discover why there are more important things once you are married and the nature of sex changes to a degree.
Click to expand...

Wow she's really brainwashed you huh? 🙂

smq123 said:
But I think that there are benefits to sex in a long term relationship, that (for some people) keep it from dying out altogether.
Click to expand...

👍 👍
 
Blade28 said:
Wow she's really brainwashed you huh? 🙂
Click to expand...

It isn't just her.

You obviously aren't married.

Next up I will tell you how to do a lap chole since we seemed to be giving advice to people that know a lot more about the subject than ourselves.
 
TRAMD said:
It isn't just her.

You obviously aren't married.

Next up I will tell you how to do a lap chole since we seemed to be giving advice to people that know a lot more about the subject than ourselves.
Click to expand...

Dude I was just kidding. 🙂
 
Slide said:
Ok I've really resisted to post this kind of thread on the SDN forums, but after going to a Halloween party last night and seeing that most of the females there were taken, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I foolishly had the conception that if I were in medical school, my chances of meeting a nice girlfriend would be just as good as college, or even better just because of being a medical student. It seems in my class, almost every girl is married/engaged/committed, so I won't be getting any luck from interclass relationships (which may be a blessing in disguise). Every female in this city here around my age also seems to be married/engaged and it really pisses me off. I'm trying to get around to meet other females that are not in medical school, but I've had very little time to actually do so this semester.

Next semester, that won't be a good excuse because our class doesn't have gross and biochem anymore. How have you guys been able to meet other singles outside your class? Or should I just deal with the fact that I'm going to be single for a looooong time?
Click to expand...


Being in medical school is not going to magically increase your love life. If you are narrowly focused on "meeting someone" then you come across as desperate and definitely not attractive. If you want meet loads of people and enlarge your social circle, I suggest that you look outside your medical school. The thing about dating outside your school is that your classmates are more like family than potential dates. Dating becomes a bit like incest.

Do some things around the town/city where your medical school is located. Go to events on campus that are sponsored by other schools. Think outside of the "bar" scene. Join a gym and focus on yourself period. It's amazing how much one can be "hit on" in a gym when you are focused on getting yourself in shape and not on "sizing up" the rest of the place. Believe me, you will attract far more attention that you would believe.

Even better, do some weekend tripping and explore some places that are nearby. Be open and upbeat in your explorations. It never fails that when you concentration on enjoying your own company, you become like "catnip" to others. A short trip now and again (especially by train) is good for seeing some new scenery and getting out of your "grind".

Above all, stop focusing on being alone but focus on enjoying what ever you are doing at the time. Again, I am amazed at how much attention I can receive when I am least interested in looking for it.
 
Blade28 said:
Dude I was just kidding. 🙂
Click to expand...

I know. I saw the 🙂. I understand that oftentimes my own sarcastic/kidding posts can be perceived as angry . . . they never are. If posting on SDN was something that made me angry, I would stop doing it.

Please add this: 🙄 to the end of my last post for proper effect.
 
TRAMD said:
I know. I saw the 🙂. I understand that oftentimes my own sarcastic/kidding posts can be perceived as angry . . . they never are. If posting on SDN was something that made me angry, I would stop doing it.
Click to expand...

Gotcha. Will make a mental checknote that you're one of those deadpan kind of guys. 👍
 
Blade28 said:
Gotcha. Will make a mental checknote that you're one of those deadpan kind of guys. 👍
Click to expand...

emot_eng101.gif
deadpan + sarcasm + potty-humor = TRAMD

I just had to use that smiley somewhere.
 
i guess no one else is saving it for marriage...:hello:
 
As a creative, emotional, intense person, sex is one of my greatest outlets. I hope to find someone who can last at my drive for 2+ years because I know I can last at least that long from past experience (while the guy didn't). If/when the sex dies in another relationship you'd better bet I'm going to disappear for a while... country house, anyone? Or whatever it takes to bring things back up.

I don't think lack of sex drive has anything to do with "growing up" and even in past strong relationships it has been something I've still valued.
 
sprinkibrio said:
I don't think lack of sex drive has anything to do with "growing up" and even in past strong relationships it has been something I've still valued.
Click to expand...

It has nothing to do with the lack of sex drive.

I'm old enough to drink [i know some magical birthday didn't stop anyone, but just follow the metaphor.] When I turned 21, I drank for weeks on end. I can still drink whatever I want, whenever I want, but sometimes I would rather read a book or go jogging instead. i.e. people who think sex is the ultimate point of their relationships or life probably just aren't getting any.
 
I met my boyfriend on-line. Then he cheated on me and left me for a woman who looks like the rear end of a donkey.

But I'm going to become a doctor - and he's not 😀
 
This has got to be the most depressing thread to a pre-med.
 
OncHeme2B said:
I met my boyfriend on-line. Then he cheated on me and left me for a woman who looks like the rear end of a donkey.

But I'm going to become a doctor - and he's not 😀
Click to expand...

Not too fast Ms Netter. Until you have the word MD behind your name, you are still an ordinary person.
 
sprinkibrio said:
As a creative, emotional, intense person, sex is one of my greatest outlets. I hope to find someone who can last at my drive for 2+ years because I know I can last at least that long from past experience (while the guy didn't). If/when the sex dies in another relationship you'd better bet I'm going to disappear for a while... country house, anyone? Or whatever it takes to bring things back up.

I don't think lack of sex drive has anything to do with "growing up" and even in past strong relationships it has been something I've still valued.
Click to expand...

Trust me, if the guys were into you enough, they would
"last at your drive". Just gotta find that man you really digs you,
especially physically.
 
sprinkibrio said:
As a creative, emotional, intense person, sex is one of my greatest outlets.
Click to expand...

Were you thinking any of this makes you original? These are common things that people are (or at least believe they are). Sex is still great in marriage it is just less frequent.

I hope to find someone who can last at my drive for 2+ years because I know I can last at least that long from past experience (while the guy didn't). If/when the sex dies in another relationship you'd better bet I'm going to disappear for a while... country house, anyone? Or whatever it takes to bring things back up.
Click to expand...

Being away from each other for a while does increase the frequency of sex for a time but this is usually not possible (and rarely a good idea because of the sacrifice of other things) in a marriage.

I don't think lack of sex drive has anything to do with "growing up"
Click to expand...

Certainly not. Lack of sex drive at any age is pathologic (as we should all learn in medical school). Growing up and maturing in a relationship changes sex itself and the emotions related to it, not your sex drive.

and even in past strong relationships it has been something I've still valued.
Click to expand...

Anyone else think that referring to a relationship as both "past" and "strong" is an oxymoron?
 
Re3iRtH said:
Trust me, if the guys were into you enough, they would
"last at your drive". Just gotta find that man you really digs you,
especially physically.
Click to expand...

I do think that it is a sad thing when two people in a couple don't have a similar desire for sex with each other. I believe physical attraction is an important part of a relationship.
 
TRAMD said:
I do think that it is a sad thing when two people in a couple don't have a similar desire for sex with each other. I believe physical attraction is an important part of a relationship.
Click to expand...

Oh so true. 👍

TRAMD said:
Anyone else think that referring to a relationship as both "past" and "strong" is an oxymoron?
Click to expand...

Yes, that's true, but as I always like to say, every great relationship you'll ever have will either end in a break-up or marriage.
 
Re3iRtH said:
Trust me, if the guys were into you enough, they would
"last at your drive". Just gotta find that man you really digs you,
especially physically.
Click to expand...

Have you ****ed a lot of men, mister? :laugh:

There is no excuse for an imbalance in the first several months, but you can't predict who will or won't drop over time. While girls may wain with the wedding cake, you could say the same thing of guys... generalize that they can get tired of the same body, intrigued by others.
 
TRAMD said:
Anyone else think that referring to a relationship as both "past" and "strong" is an oxymoron?
Click to expand...

Marriage and commitment are obviously not my end-all-be-alls or my proof of relationship quality. I try to enjoy the relationship as it is at any moment, not in terms of what it will be or how long it will last because that can never be proven or predicted--papers or no papers.

I think our ideas about "extended periods of time" are different... among other things!
 
Men get screwed big time in divorce. I would say to make sure you trust her before you get married but people change. Guess you have to figure out if she is worth the chance.
 
Somehow, I will write such an iron-clad prenupt, and one that is so awesome, that I will get money from them when I divorce.

Just kidding...but it would be awesome though.
 
seraph524 said:
Somehow, I will write such an iron-clad prenupt, and one that is so awesome, that I will get money from them when I divorce.

Just kidding...but it would be awesome though.
Click to expand...

Just marry a dumb billionaire heiress, that's how.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

AJS59
Any resources on how to deal with breakups as a med student?
Replies
8
Views
1K
Rachapkis
Rachapkis
magician7772222
How to study for preclinicals at a school with Nbme exams?
Replies
13
Views
1K
Dr. Robb Bassett
Dr. Robb Bassett
Baller27
How hard is it to match into competitive specialties in competitive areas with no ties> (NYC, Cali, Chicago)
Replies
20
Views
2K
RN-2-Medicine
RN-2-Medicine
F
“Biggest challenge” being coming out to my parents and being rejected?
Replies
2
Views
1K
folgersormh
F
V
How do single residents who are 28/29ish cope
Replies
8
Views
2K
ProReduction
P
Top