how to deal with envy and bitterness?

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So even being above the average for accepted students of your demographic is now unacceptable? You must kill it.
 
zeppelinpage4 said:
it's easy to get wrapped up in this whole process, but sometimes you just gotta step back and get some perspective on things.if you are healthy and with your loved ones, then you have every reason to be happy.

P.s. Comparing yourself to others can drive you nuts, cause there's always someone better. A lot of the posts said to just focus on your own achievements and progress, and they're right. You'll be much more at peace.
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+1
 
aspiring20 said:
first, i dont know my score yet. it could be a 33, or it could be lower, say a 23.

second, i hope you are aware that for certain demographics, a 33 is unacceptable.
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What demographics? You do realize that there are plenty of people in all demographics who get less than a 33, and do just fine.
 
aspiring20 said:
i think the biggest mistake i've made is attending the wrong undergrad. going to the northeast, 2000+ miles away from home was a terrible idea. my peers were upperclass and live in the surrounding suburbs. they had support networks going down to kindergarten teachers and unlimited resources available to them. i never stood a chance.
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Totaally feel ya. As a CA resident, went off to the northeast for college and absolutely hated my experience there. Now I just want a UC or a sunny campus with no snow which throws out a lot of schools, but it was just that bad (I'm still applying to snowy schools btw).

As for the MCAT, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Before taking my May test, I never scored above a 32 on any of my Kaplan practice tests or AAMC tests. Even when I took the highest from each section from all tests, the best was a 35. So going into the test I thought I would be extremely lucky to even get a 32. I was considering not even applying if I scored below, but could not bear the thought of having to restudy for it after giving up 6+ months to the thing. A month later I got my score back with a 35 and now I'm applying this cycle. So you just never know.
 
funniful said:
Totaally feel ya. As a CA resident, went off to the northeast for college and absolutely hated my experience there. Now I just want a UC or a sunny campus with no snow which throws out a lot of schools, but it was just that bad (I'm still applying to snowy schools btw).

As for the MCAT, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Before taking my May test, I never scored above a 32 on any of my Kaplan practice tests or AAMC tests. Even when I took the highest from each section from all tests, the best was a 35. So going into the test I thought I would be extremely lucky to even get a 32. I was considering not even applying if I scored below, but could not bear the thought of having to restudy for it after giving up 6+ months to the thing. A month later I got my score back with a 35 and now I'm applying this cycle. So you just never know.
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congrats on your score!

and it wasn't the constant snow of the northeast that made me hated my school with a passion
 
Yeah, I am sorry about your situation. You have my sympathy.

No matter what, do not give up. Practice MCATs are your best tool, particularly the AAMC (official) exams.

You just have to make a plan and stick to it, as much as possible. For example, studying to the M-A-X and raising your GPA doing X, Y, and Z courses. If the plan does not go the way you need it to be, consider changing the plan. But, use multiple modes of input for tracking your progress, such as timing all of your work, tracker sheets (for answering problem sets, particular courses and overall GPA), etc.

If you end up looking good on paper, the blood, sweat, and pain will not matter. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
 
aspiring20 said:
first, i dont know my score yet. it could be a 33, or it could be lower, say a 23.

second, i hope you are aware that for certain demographics, a 33 is unacceptable.
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First off I'd agree with you that for some of us, a 33 won't have us singing for joy...but that really has nothing to do with the spillover you have of bitterness. I can be irrational when I don't achieve what I want to achieve but I can't remember ever wasting my time feeling upset that others did achieve. I don't want to advise you...but the best thing you can do is focus on YOU. And only you. My daddy was meaner than my friend's daddy. Okay, so? You want to be better and not be a janitor. Then work hard and don't be a janitor. But if you "don't want to be a janitor where your peers who got in and are going on vacations end up going to med school"...well, then I've got nothing for you...you've got stuff on your plate that is...way unhealthy.

osprey099 said:
I hope you're being sarcastic. There are people here that would die to have 3 interview invites.
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Um...yeah, he's obviously messing around.
 
Unless you have a 3.9 GPA from MIT and a publication in Nature, you really shouldn't be complaining about getting a 33 MCAT (91st percentile).
 
Strongly concur. there are always going to be people better and worse than you, and this is simply part of life. Are you bitter that Alex Rodriguez makes, what, $20 mil/year, and is now playing AA ball?

QofQuimica said:
1) Stop comparing yourself to other people. As you have already discovered, that only leads to you feeling bitter and envious.

2) If it's any consolation, I'd gladly take your life as a college kid if you'd rather live mine as a resident. My mom always used to tell me that youth was wasted on the young, and sad to say, I'm old enough now (age 38) to understand how right she was. :d
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I don't think you have any reason to be bitter, your scores have all been above average. Your friends who are celebrating the start of their MS1 were all applicants first. I think your score is good enough to get you some interviews, plus if you retake and get the 36 that will only be a small difference, remember they can see all of your scores and it might not even matter.

If you want to go to a MD school, I see no reason to have a mindset in which you will not accomplish this goal and have to "settle" for OD (nothing against OD schools here). I would just apply early and broadly. If you do end up taking a year off I would use it to do something other than MCAT that can set you apart from other applicants, like research or an internship.

Plus if you are bitter about people celebrating MS1 next year they will be celebrating MS2. I would not worry about it and just worry about yourself. We all take different paths to get there keep that in mind.

Relax you'll be fine
 
MCAT scores come out in less than two weeks...i can't eat or sleep, and i even had a nightmare that i got a 16.

sigh...maybe it's time to call it quits. another group of my peers is starting MD's...another wave of facebook profile pictures of white coats and smiling faces.
 
Buzz Me said:
How in the world are you so sure you got a 33? That's a very specific score. 😕
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not that specific, but based on my predictions, i think i got:

12 PS
11 VR
10 BS

i took 20 full lengths practice exams, and i am basing my predictions on my post-test feelings, which, i admit, can be wildly inaccurate one way or the other
 
lmw312 said:
Good lord you're making life hard for yourself. I'm applying now and watching peers enter their second year of med school too. Do you know what I think when I look at their facebook pages? "Good for them! Someday I'll be in that position too." And then I continue to live my own life, because what they're doing is of no consequence to me whatsoever. Reeeeelaaaaaaax.
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tumblr_lvq6kxD9Vb1qjmxl4.gif
 
aspiring20 said:
i will not mop the floors of the hospital that my peers work at as attending physicians.
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aspiring20 said:
MCAT scores come out in less than two weeks...i can't eat or sleep, and i even had a nightmare that i got a 16.

sigh...maybe it's time to call it quits. another group of my peers is starting MD's...another wave of facebook profile pictures of white coats and smiling faces.
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uuhhhhhh, maybe you should see a psychiatrist or something?
 
Arbor Vitae said:
uuhhhhhh, maybe you should see a psychiatrist or something?
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thanks but no thanks. all consultations with mental health professionals are on my medical record, and i can't risk pesky adcoms finding out about any mental illness. the less they know, the better.

the only option i have is to wait for my MCAT score, retake (if necessary), and hold absolutely nothing back come application time.
 
You really need advice on how not to be jealous?

Realize your life isn't that bad and the grass is always greener. Come on, it only gets worse. Wait until you start M3 and are paying to slave your ass off, while your friends who didn't go into medicine are graduating law school and business schools while getting cushy offers and starting families.

control yourself, yo. stop thinking about your last MCAT. You can't change it now. California is a crap shoot, plan on applying to tons of out of state schools.
 
aspiring20 said:
thanks but no thanks. all consultations with mental health professionals are on my medical record, and i can't risk pesky adcoms finding out about any mental illness. the less they know, the better.
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Hah. Depression and anxiety are so prevalent that I seriously doubt that they'd be given any real consideration. Over 40 million Americans have depression and/or anxiety. It's endemic in our society, and as long as you're not a complete mess as a result, it won't close any doors for you.
 
aspiring20 said:
thanks but no thanks. all consultations with mental health professionals are on my medical record, and i can't risk pesky adcoms finding out about any mental illness. the less they know, the better.

the only option i have is to wait for my MCAT score, retake (if necessary), and hold absolutely nothing back come application time.
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Adcoms don't see and don't have access to your medical records.
 
Ismet said:
Adcoms don't see and don't have access to your medical records.
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that's reassuring. but i am thinking about applying to USUHS as well, and the military can/will ask for everything.
 
Aspiring doc:

Are you sure you aren't a troll?

Anyone that says "i will not mop the floors of the hospital that my peers work at as attending physicians." has to be some type of goblin.

On the bright side, I am pretty sure goblins get to check down URM on AMCAS. -- silver lining.
 
slopes23 said:
Aspiring doc:

Are you sure you aren't a troll?

Anyone that says "i will not mop the floors of the hospital that my peers work at as attending physicians." has to be some type of goblin.

On the bright side, I am pretty sure goblins get to check down URM on AMCAS. -- silver lining.
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i am not a troll or a goblin. but i am frustrated and bitter.
 
i will not mop the floors of the hospital that my peers work at as attending physicians.
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And you shouldn't have to.
There are plenty of other buildings you could mop.
 
aspiring20 said:
mock me all you want. i sincerely hope that you never have to be in my position
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I'm gonna be applying for the 2014 cycle (matriculating 2015), and I just graduated. So my "peers" will have a 2 year head start on me. So pretty sure that's the same position. Now, ask me if I care... I live my life in the way that makes me happy. Those extra 2 years I will not spend frustrated and bitter as to why I didn't go to medical school sooner, rather I will be enjoying the time before medical school by increasing my exposure to a field that I love, and enjoying the interim from ugrad to medschool with my fiance.

Those 2 years will allow me to get even more hungry come med school, so when it's time to power through MS1 I can do it easily, and I will still have motivation to go ahead and kill step 1. While my "peers" will have never had the opportunity to take a break from academia and will most likely be in a worse position when they take their Step 1, 2 years earlier than me. Furthermore, I hope they are able to kill their Step 1 just like I will because their progress doesn't affect mine. There are so many undergrads applying to medical school, so many med students looking for residency, and so on and so forth that if you think wishing bad things on your "peers" is going to have a positive effect on you because now you somehow look better you are wrong. The people you know are only a drop in a bucket of water.

More than anything, if you are going to medical school straight out of undergrad you should have at least garnered the maturity to understand this. Because if you did, you would realize the only person in control of your emotions is you. Worry about you, and make the best of your situation, and if you truly understand what I am saying you would realize that your situation is not a bad one, in fact one could argue it's preferable then going straight into medical school from undergrad.

P.S. - I still think you are a goblin.
 
slopes23 said:
I'm gonna be applying for the 2014 cycle (matriculating 2015), and I just graduated. So my "peers" will have a 2 year head start on me. So pretty sure that's the same position. Now, ask me if I care... I live my life in the way that makes me happy. Those extra 2 years I will not spend frustrated and bitter as to why I didn't go to medical school sooner, rather I will be enjoying the time before medical school by increasing my exposure to a field that I love, and enjoying the interim from ugrad to medschool with my fiance.

Those 2 years will allow me to get even more hungry come med school, so when it's time to power through MS1 I can do it easily, and I will still have motivation to go ahead and kill step 1. While my "peers" will have never had the opportunity to take a break from academia and will most likely be in a worse position when they take their Step 1, 2 years earlier than me. Furthermore, I hope they are able to kill their Step 1 just like I will because their progress doesn't affect mine. There are so many undergrads applying to medical school, so many med students looking for residency, and so on and so forth that if you think wishing bad things on your "peers" is going to have a positive effect on you because now you somehow look better you are wrong. The people you know are only a drop in a bucket of water.

More than anything, if you are going to medical school straight out of undergrad you should have at least garnered the maturity to understand this. Because if you did, you would realize the only person in control of your emotions is you. Worry about you, and make the best of your situation, and if you truly understand what I am saying you would realize that your situation is not a bad one, in fact one could argue it's preferable then going straight into medical school from undergrad.

P.S. - I still think you are a goblin.
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you can think what you want and do what you wish. none of that is my business.
 
slopes23 said:
Is this what you see yourself doing to your "peers"?
troll-choking-kid.jpg
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do you have too much time on your hands?

actually, i have too much time on my hands as well...waiting for my MCAT, hoping i dont have to retake, but knowing i will have to

take your humor elsewhere, unless you get off on other peoples' miseries
 
aspiring20 said:
do you have too much time on your hands?

actually, i have too much time on my hands as well...waiting for my MCAT, hoping i dont have to retake, but knowing i will have to

take your humor elsewhere, unless you get off on other peoples' miseries
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And what if I do? You spend your time doing all your little goblin things, and I do my troll things... Are we so different?
 
aspiring20 said:
i just took the MCAT this past weekend (7/13), and i have to say it went pretty well. i averaged 30-35 on the AAMC exams (35 on 10, 33 on 11), and i think i got at least a 33 on the real thing.

so while finishing the MCAT is an accomplishment (and a big one at that), everytime i see my peers getting into medical school, booking their european vacation trips, and celebrating the completion of MS1...i cannot help but feel bitter and angry. i am currently taking some summer biology classes to boost my sGPA while my peers are preparing the start of medical school courses.

what should i do to better adjust my mindset? even if i get a 33 (which i probably did), it is still a far cry from my original goal of 36+.

one option i am looking at is to prepare to attend a DO school. i know that i will become a physician through the DO route, and a lot of specialties are still open to me.

another option i am trying to do to distract myself is to study for a september retake. but i've spent so much energy studying the MCAT already...i dont think i can do it anymore. to be honest, i've fought hard for 5 years already, and i dont think i can hang on for much longer.
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No offense but this post and every comment here makes me laugh. You're being so unclear that it is impossible to determine what exactly you are bitter about. Sounds like you have a sub par GPA and you will be unable to attend medical school, otherwise, a 33 would suit you just fine.

Wait for your score. What's your ethnicity? What's your GPA? Maybe those are places to start to determine your likelihood at a medical school. If your GPA is below 3.3, then decide if D.O will suit your desires because your shot out of luck for medical school otherwise.

Don't be bitter and angry. Academics are straightforward. If you didn't get a 3.5-4.0 GPA then you didn't work hard enough, that is, unless you had other obligations such as work. In that case, you would've been better off racking up student loans and focusing on school.
 
Fulchera10 said:
No offense but this post and every comment here makes me laugh. You're being so unclear that it is impossible to determine what exactly you are bitter about. Sounds like you have a sub par GPA and you will be unable to attend medical school, otherwise, a 33 would suit you just fine.

Wait for your score. What's your ethnicity? What's your GPA? Maybe those are places to start to determine your likelihood at a medical school. If your GPA is below 3.3, then decide if D.O will suit your desires because your shot out of luck for medical school otherwise.

Don't be bitter and angry. Academics are straightforward. If you didn't get a 3.5-4.0 GPA then you didn't work hard enough, that is, unless you had other obligations such as work. In that case, you would've been better off racking up student loans and focusing on school.
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i have a 3.6 from a top 5 northeastern school. and even if i didn't have a 3.6, i would die before giving up medicine. plenty of kids from my school get in with 3.3s and 35+ MCAT scores. not sure what you are trying to get at here.
 
aspiring20 said:
i have a 3.6 from a top 5 northeastern school. and even if i didn't have a 3.6, i would die before giving up medicine. plenty of kids from my school get in with 3.3s and 35+ MCAT scores. not sure what you are trying to get at here.
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You don't know your score yet. You may of gotten a 36. Whoever mentioned "in certain demographics..." yea... just ignore that guy. It's called moving to a new location and accepting if you want anything to do with medicine you're going to have to make sacrifices. That means, you may not get into a top tier school. That means, you may have to go to a medical school out of state.

*Edit: I guess I can not relate to being envious of my peers. I have very little peers who would qualify for medical school...haha. I know of one person, out of state, who is an acquaintance at best, who is attending medical school in the Fall. Not even slightly envious though, because I know that will more then likely be me one day enjoying the same accomplishments! Anybody who does qualify, such as my younger brother with a near 4.0 g.p.a, isn't even interested in medicine.
 
aspiring20 said:
i have a 3.6 from a top 5 northeastern school. and even if i didn't have a 3.6, i would die before giving up medicine. plenty of kids from my school get in with 3.3s and 35+ MCAT scores. not sure what you are trying to get at here.
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I think his point, which you just helped further, is that it's unclear what you are trying to get at. No one knows why you are "frustrated and bitter". You have decent grades and a good MCAT score. You should be fine for MD, unless there are some red flags during your interviews which judging from the way you seem to respond interviewers may not receive you too well.

What has been repeated to you time and again on here is #1 Worry about yourself. #2 If your friends went to medical school and you haven't yet it's your fault not theirs, so don't be frustrated and bitter. Rather be mature, accept the situation, make the best of it and move on. It may be wise to go see a shrink, as you seem to have a lot of internal conflicts that at least in the limited context in which they are presented here, do not make much sense.

Good luck.

P.S. - Notice I said shrink, as in therapist. They wouldn't assess your mental health and there would be no "record" to disclose Rather he/she would give you some counseling on how to better resolve your internal issues, frustrations and perhaps give you a different perspective from which to see things.
 
slopes23 said:
I think his point, which you just helped further, is that it's unclear what you are trying to get at. No one knows why you are "frustrated and bitter". You have decent grades and a good MCAT score. You should be fine for MD, unless there are some red flags during your interviews which judging from the way you seem to respond interviewers may not receive you too well.

What has been repeated to you time and again on here is #1 Worry about yourself. #2 If your friends went to medical school and you haven't yet it's your fault not theirs, so don't be frustrated and bitter. Rather be mature, accept the situation, make the best of it and move on. It may be wise to go see a shrink, as you seem to have a lot of internal conflicts that at least in the limited context in which they are presented here, do not make much sense.

Good luck.

P.S. - Notice I said shrink, as in therapist. They wouldn't assess your mental health and there would be no "record" to disclose Rather he/she would give you some counseling on how to better resolve your internal issues, frustrations and perhaps give you a different perspective from which to see things.
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"which judging from the way you seem to respond interviewers may not receive you too well."

lol
 
I would leave the OP alone and stop being judgmental.

If I defined what my success would be and I was unsure of whether or not I was going to be successful, I would be frustrated.

The OP's post is filled with bitterness and envy, hence the name of the thread.

Perhaps there would have been a better, more directed way of approaching this thread, such as asking what to do if you are frustrated when you feel like you are trying your best, when the opportunities are closing in on you (the OP).
 
moco89 said:
I would leave the OP alone and stop being judgmental.

If I defined what my success would be and I was unsure of whether or not I was going to be successful, I would be frustrated.

The OP's post is filled with bitterness and envy, hence the name of the thread.

Perhaps there would have been a better, more directed way of approaching this thread, such as asking what to do if you are frustrated when you feel like you are trying your best, when the opportunities are closing in on you (the OP).
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thanks for this.

whatever it takes, i will become a physician. to make up for lost earnings, i am ready to never start a family/have kids

anyone making a physician's salary (MD or DO) can live a good and prosperous life if he/she doesnt have anyone else to support. i am willing to sacrifice anything and everything to pursue this goal.
 
aspiring20 said:
thanks for this.

whatever it takes, i will become a physician. to make up for lost earnings, i am ready to never start a family/have kids

anyone making a physician's salary (MD or DO) can live a good and prosperous life if he/she doesnt have anyone else to support. i am willing to sacrifice anything and everything to pursue this goal.
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FWIW I think most physicians can still live a very prosperous life on a physicians salary. In fact one might argue that the life is in fact "more prosperous" by creating a family to share the prosperity with.

Not that it's a problem to not want to get married or have kids, but the extremes you seem to be going to in a lot of your posts, this one included, seem to support the thought that you should consider seeking help.
 
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