How to leave research lab without being hated

[HumanHu]

Hey, so I posted a thread about whether or not to quit research lab a couple days ago and you guys gave me some helpful advice. Today, I realized this lab is not for me. I spent 8 hours during the weekend performing pcrs and running gels and they told me they were disappointed that I didn't do more. Furthermore, they're awful at communicating what they want from us. Just today, they told me they wanted us to perform our own experiments and stuff but they were disappointed we did not. I was so confused by this since they never told us to perform our own experiments and I don't know what they want from us at all (just venting at this point). So, I am planning to quit but I am in a sensitive position.
We have four members in lab: one grad student and three undergrad (including me). Next year they're losing the grad student and senior undergrad and are counting on the other undergrad and me to help train in the post doc that's coming. However, this just sounds awful and I want to leave. The PI is super strict and is depending on me to help out next year. I know the grad student and PI will be very angry if I leave (because of the time they spent training us) and I want to leave on good terms; how do I do that? I am a sophomore btw and have been in lab for 7-8 months.

HEY GUYS UPDATE ON THE STORY: I was able to quit lab today on good terms so this is for the people who are scared of quitting lab.

First, I emailed my PI for a meeting. During the meeting I told him this was a tough decision to make but I decided to change labs. I told him I could not make the time commitment needed, and I'm sorry for the inconvenience and finally I thanked him for helping me learn all these lab techniques. In response, he told me he understood the situation and if I need a LOR for any research fellowship he'd be willing to give it to me.
I then talked to the other members in lab and told them I had a talk with the PI and I'm planning on changing labs. Surprisingly, the grad student told me this is probably a good idea as this lab is special because it requires a huge time commitment for undergrads. She told me there are a lot of better labs out there too haha. All in all, don't be afraid of quitting lab! Most likely the PI and other members are already used to this sort of situation and will understand your decision. Thanks for all the replies and helpful comments on this thread!

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[Petrichor1]

1. Are you expecting a lor with 1 yr of work? If yes, quit.
2. Are you confident your letter will be stellar or good if they are disappointed? If no, quit.
3. Do you think your studies are impeding despite your commitment? Yes, quit
4. Are you making any progress? No, quit
5. Do you expect progress in terms of poster or pub if you're going to teach the post doc what you know for the past 7-8 months? No, quit

6. Are you expecting a pub within 1 to 2 years? Yes, quit, expectation is enticing but will likely not occur during your work frame

Sorry, but a short staffed lab and bad results can be turned around with hardcore determination which you need to have at this point. Otherwise, you will just waste your own time.

 

[Goro]

It's time to leave the lab.

Next question?

Hey, so I posted a thread about whether or not to quit research lab a couple days ago and you guys gave me some helpful advice. Today, I realized this lab is not for me. I spent 8 hours during the weekend performing pcrs and running gels and they told me they were disappointed that I didn't do more. Furthermore, they're awful at communicating what they want from us. Just today, they told me they wanted us to perform our own experiments and stuff but they were disappointed we did not. I was so confused by this since they never told us to perform our own experiments and I don't know what they want from us at all (just venting at this point). So, I am planning to quit but I am in a sensitive position.
We have four members in lab: one grad student and three undergrad (including me). Next year they're losing the grad student and senior undergrad and are counting on the other undergrad and me to help train in the post doc that's coming. However, this just sounds awful and I want to leave. The PI is super strict and is depending on me to help out next year. I know the grad student and PI will be very angry if I leave (because of the time they spent training us) and I want to leave on good terms; how do I do that? I am a sophomore btw and have been in lab for 7-8 months.

 

[wizzed101]

 

[NotYou20]

"Two weeks from today is going to be my last day here." It's that simple. People quit jobs and volunteer positions, idk which this is, all the time. No one will hate you for it unless you're a prick about it our they're a prick.

the grad student and PI will be very angry if I leave (because of the time they spent training us)

are you assuming this or have they explicitly told you? It doesn't really matter (quit either way) but I'm curious. They have a year to figure their **** out without you. It's not your problem

 

[HumanHu]

"Two weeks from today is going to be my last day here." It's that simple. People quit jobs and volunteer positions, idk which this is, all the time. No one will hate you for it unless you're a prick about it our they're a prick.
are you assuming this or have they explicitly told you? It doesn't really matter (quit either way) but I'm curious. They have a year to figure their **** out without you. It's not your problem

Yeah, I know I shouldn't care but I learned this is a very unusual lab and the people here are sort of unreasonable. I guess I just need to do it. Do you have any advice on how to approach this quitting process? Should I recommend staying for a bit after to ease the transition out? Thanks for the reply!

 

[HumanHu]

It's time to leave the lab.

Next question?

Yea I know haha but how should I approach it. Should I tell him I can stay for a week to help ease out the transitioning? I'm not in the middle of a research project or anything so I feel now is a good time to leave.

 

[GoCubsGo20]

Step 1: Say I'm leaving.
Step 2: Be happy because you put yourself first.
Step 3: Don't look back.

Too many "pre-med" students do these types of activities for the wrong reasons. If there is no passion or desire to complete the activities, and it makes one miserable, then holy cow just quit and do something for oneself.

 

[NotYou20]

Yeah, I know I shouldn't care but I learned this is a very unusual lab and the people here are sort of unreasonable. I guess I just need to do it. Do you have any advice on how to approach this quitting process? Should I recommend staying for a bit after to ease the transition out? Thanks for the reply!

Two weeks is standard and perfectly reasonable. I wouldn't bend on that unless you signed something that specified a longer time frame. I wouldn't expect that clause to be there for a lab job but it's possible.

 

[Goro]

What's the need to please the PI? Just tell him that it's time to go, and go.

Yea I know haha but how should I approach it. Should I tell him I can stay for a week to help ease out the transitioning? I'm not in the middle of a research project or anything so I feel now is a good time to leave.

 

[Catalystik]

I spent 8 hours during the weekend performing pcrs and running gels and they told me they were disappointed that I didn't do more.

Just today, they told me they wanted us to perform our own experiments and stuff but they were disappointed we did not.

I want to leave on good terms; how do I do that? I am a sophomore btw and have been in lab for 7-8 months.

Once a statement of disappointment has been made, it is highly unlikely you will get a decent LOR no matter how you perform. Frame your reason for leaving in terms of their best interests. You are doing them a favor by vacating your position so they can find someone who won't disappoint them. Give two weeks notice and go.

 

[victorias]

Can you find another opportunity elsewhere and use that as a reason for leaving? That won't leave any hard feelings because people always get better jobs and move on in life.
Or say that you have a heavy course load and you rather focus on your grades at the moment.

Make sure to give ample notice that you are leaving and offer to finish up any projects you are currently working on and possibly even offer to help train the new person that gets hired to replace you. If you need a reference from this supervisor in the future, definitely do anything you can now to make your decision about leaving smooth to minimize any bad feelings. You have already invested some time in this position so try to make the leave as smooth as possible for everyone involved.

 

[baratheonfire]

Step 1: Say I'm leaving.
Step 2: Be happy because you put yourself first.
Step 3: Don't look back.

Too many "pre-med" students do these types of activities for the wrong reasons. If there is no passion or desire to complete the activities, and it makes one miserable, then holy cow just quit and do something for oneself.

By GOD I hated research.
But are you telling me I wouldn't be shooting myself in the foot if I had ZERO research experience? I don't think I'm in a position to be taking risks like that.
Eventually I did quit, after 1 1/2 miserable, boring years.

 

[GoCubsGo20]

By GOD I hated research.
But are you telling me I wouldn't be shooting myself in the foot if I had ZERO research experience? I don't think I'm in a position to be taking risks like that.
Eventually I did quit, after 1 1/2 miserable, boring years.

Why didn't you try and find a project you were interested in? I'm saying, why do something you hate for that long? Sure it might help you get in an II, but if there's no passion I'm sure adcom can sniff it out.

 

[baratheonfire]

Why didn't you try and find a project you were interested in? I'm saying, why do something you hate for that long? Sure it might help you get in an II, but if there's no passion I'm sure adcom can sniff it out.

Worked in 2 labs on 3 projects. I just don't like research. I hate academia.
But I'm pretty good at faking passion. If it doesn't work, joke's on me.
Although I've made it pretty clear in all my essays that I'm a service oriented person. Research is just a footnote in my app.

 

[GoCubsGo20]

Worked in 2 labs on 3 projects. I just don't like research. I hate academia.
But I'm pretty good at faking passion. If it doesn't work, joke's on me.
Although I've made it pretty clear in all my essays that I'm a service oriented person. Research is just a footnote in my app.

I can respect that. Kudos to you for putting up with something you hate just for the purpose of bettering an application. I'm not sure I could do it.

 

[baratheonfire]

I can respect that. Kudos to you for putting up with something you hate just for the purpose of bettering an application. I'm not sure I could do it.

In an ideal world, I wouldn't have to. But I'm pretty damn sure that no research can easily kill an app, especially one that isn't stellar.

I don't plan on doing research ever as a physician.

 

[Cara Delevingne]

The best way to leave would be if it were out of your control. You say you're a service oriented person, so you can tell your PI that the organization you work with/volunteer for (which you're very passionate about) is giving you more responsibilities/promoting you, and you won't have time to come into lab anymore.

Express gratitude. Shedding tears is optional, as choosing between your two passions was a hard choice.

 

[baratheonfire]

The best way to leave would be if it were out of your control. You say you're a service oriented person, so you can tell your PI that the organization you work with/volunteer for (which you're very passionate about) is giving you more responsibilities/promoting you, and you won't have time to come into lab anymore.

Express gratitude. Shedding tears is optional, as choosing between your two passions was a hard choice.

That was me. I'm not OP, I'm past all this.

 

[HumanHu]

HEY GUYS UPDATE ON THE STORY: I was able to quit lab today on good terms so this is for the people who are scared of quitting lab.

First, I emailed my PI for a meeting. During the meeting I told him this was a tough decision to make but I decided to change labs. I told him I could not make the time commitment needed, and I'm sorry for the inconvenience and finally I thanked him for helping me learn all these lab techniques. In response, he told me he understood the situation and if I need a LOR for any research fellowship he'd be willing to give it to me.
I then talked to the other members in lab and told them I had a talk with the PI and I'm planning on changing labs. Surprisingly, the grad student told me this is probably a good idea as this lab is special because it requires a huge time commitment for undergrads. She told me there are a lot of better labs out there too haha. All in all, don't be afraid of quitting lab! Most likely the PI and other members are already used to this sort of situation and will understand your decision. Thanks for all the replies and helpful comments on this thread!

 

[JustAPhD]

HEY GUYS UPDATE ON THE STORY: I was able to quit lab today on good terms so this is for the people who are scared of quitting lab.

First, I emailed my PI for a meeting. During the meeting I told him this was a tough decision to make but I decided to change labs. I told him I could not make the time commitment needed, and I'm sorry for the inconvenience and finally I thanked him for helping me learn all these lab techniques. In response, he told me he understood the situation and if I need a LOR for any research fellowship he'd be willing to give it to me.
I then talked to the other members in lab and told them I had a talk with the PI and I'm planning on changing labs. Surprisingly, the grad student told me this is probably a good idea as this lab is special because it requires a huge time commitment for undergrads. She told me there are a lot of better labs out there too haha. All in all, don't be afraid of quitting lab! Most likely the PI and other members are already used to this sort of situation and will understand your decision. Thanks for all the replies and helpful comments on this thread!

Yup, undergrads tend to be fairly transient; it's rare that an undergrad is a stud researcher who stays in a PI's lab for multiple years. No harm no foul, it happens. Good to hear everything worked out for you. For those undergrads reading, this is what happens when you use the gift of communication with your superiors.