How to separate self worth from medical school

[DoctorDing]

I'm an MS1 and I just started med school 3 weeks ago

At first, I put a huge smile on my face and tried to become friends with everyone. I've made fun and supportive friends and I've done okay on my exams so far, but every day, I feel like I lose a little piece of my former self. It seems like I have to drop everything I've ever been in the past just to be a medical student.

Even worse, I find myself increasingly annoyed at many of my fellow classmates - there are so many borderline psychopathic, rigidly Type A, and self righteous people. I don't know what I expected - but as someone who does not identify with those kinds of people, I feel out of place, as though I've been pushed into an assembly line of narcissistic robots without my consent. I was optimistic when I started, and I told myself that I would stay "above" the petty competition and the obsession with grades and the unnecessary type A stressing. I don't want my self worth to be defined by how well I do on my exams. But slowly, I feel that I'm beginning to give in. I did well on my exams last week, and when I saw my grades, I cried and whooped and cheered and thought to myself, "okay, good, you're worth something". But this is not okay, and I am not okay with having this mentality.

Equal halves of me want to quit school and also want to keep going. Every day I ask myself "why are you subjecting yourself to this torture"? I have a college degree, I have a fiance who supports me financially, and I see my friends finding jobs at lucrative tech companies, getting six figure salaries just for being the person responsible for updating their company's facebook page. And here I am, slaving away, for what?

But then there are other days, when I learn how to use a stethoscope or a patient confides something to me, when I think to myself that maybe this is all worth it.

How do you guys deal with these extreme ups and downs of emotions in med school?

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[sliceofbread136]

Just do your best. It fades from the vast majority of the student body as time goes on.

 

[darknecrosforte]

Imagine your 110-year old self sitting in a rocking chair, reflecting on the totality of your life. You had a rough first 3 weeks of med school and consulted SDN and used the collective wisdom and trollery to take decisive action. You cut out anything that did not contribute to your periodic rejuvenation or to the development of necessary skills to serve your family and patients. You learned how to BOTH give zero f---s and care even more, at the same time, about school and how you did. Because ultimately, you could remember to visualize your ideal future self that you were becoming - by taking actions based on how "Super DoctorDing" would do them. Super DoctorDing also looks back and sees that 10-ish years of training and visceral envy toward friends faded into the background, since you have been alive for ~60 years past that time.

 

[operaman]

Not quite sure what the problem is - you're doing well, making friends, and have a built in support system already. You take pride in doing well and even derive some measure of self worth from your successes. That doesn't strike me as a bad thing.

The petty competition is easily overcome by simply choosing to ignore it. Accept that there are always people who will make a higher grade than you on something. Not a big deal. Just do good solid work consistently and you will be fine. Also, listen to your elders when we tell you that 99% of the rumor you here about your classmates and their brilliance and ability to ace everything without lifting a finger are complete and total baloney.

You may also borrow a bit of perspective from your elders who have seen their friends who got such seemingly great jobs for doing little be the first ones out the door in a few years when the company realizes how stupid they are. Success is also a cyclical thing and your friends who appear to be on top now will soon hit bumpy roads. So will you. I've watched friends become millionaires by thirty and then bankrupt by 40. I've had more than my own share of ups and downs.

Nobody who wants to be a doctor lays awake at night eagerly dreaming about spending hours pouring over physiology and biochemistry. You're three weeks in. Find things to love but you're smart enough to know that this part is nothing like what medicine really is.

The flip side is this is far and away the easiest, slowest, least stressful part of the medical journey. The volume of information is only going to increase exponentially as will the stakes for any given exam. It only gets tougher after graduation too when your decisions stop being about getting a point on an exam and start truly impacting the lives of real people. You'll lay awake on call wondering if the decision you just made was the right one. But the rewards are greater too -- few things beat really saving someone's life or the life of their child. Of course in the real world almost none of those moments are exciting and filled with drama; it's usually the seemingly mundane and boring task of seeing the signs of impending badness and acting before the badness turns ugly. Done well it's boring and nobody ever knows how close they came or that you had anything to do with it really.

But holy hell is it a lot of fun.

 

[el_duderino]

Your school should offer advising and counseling services.

Use them.

 

[failedatlife]

How do you guys deal with these extreme ups and downs of emotions in med school?

Come on the internet and vent when you need to.

 

[sloop]

Not to be too critical, but you stated that you were not okay with caring about how you do on exams and putting some measure of your self worth into how you do academically. If you really feel this way, you may not be in the right place. Some degree of self-criticism and indeed even competition is completely healthy and, in my opinion, necessary for most types of people to become continuously improving and thoughtful physicians.

A lot of people want this fairy tale med school life where nobody competes and everyone just coasts happily by. Unfortunately the truth is that the best physicians often want to be the best. That means people do measure themselves against others.

Of course this attitude shouldn't be all-consuming and lead to depression, but being excited for doing well or disappointed for doing poorly is just a sign that you care about the work you're doing and see it as important. That's not a bad thing and is completely normal.

 

[nlax30]

Find a few good friends in your class who have your general outlook on things. Overall my class was pretty close but I certainly had a smaller closer group of friends that I studied with, goofed off with and vented to. It helped.

Family/spouse support. You don't want any added stress at home so a supportive spouse and family helps make everything else easier.

Goof off and be silly every now and then. I found a group of friends that appreciated this and we had a blast and it just keeps everything in perspective when you're able to laugh at yourself and have fun in the midst of of the stress and seriousness of dealing with medical school.

Have some sort of hobby outside of school/medicine.

 

[tick_tock400]

I disagree with the poster above who said that medical school/residency only gets harder-- I think it's probably different for everyone.
For me, I definitely think the beginning was the hardest (of course, I'm early on in my training), but then you're like 1 month done, 2 months done, 3 months done-- holy ****, can't believe I made it this far!
I also felt the material getting a lot easier as I went on, as I felt as I was both "learning how to learn" and learning the basics of medicine, and so things just started making a lot more sense and I could put 2 and 2 together more-- I hope this makes sense. I also felt that "time management" got a lot easier, in that as my efficiency went up naturally with time, I had lots more time to myself. And I definitely think my first year material will be a lot more challenging than anything else I do in my medical career because learning the basics can be really tough.
I would just give yourself time OP-- until winter break (put on a countdown clock if you need to)-- and then re-evaluate where you stand. Also remember that C= MD. Learn to be totally fine with being at the bottom of your class; you've made it this far anyways so clearly you've done well somewhere (there's also part-time or <80 hr. residencies nowadays too!). Understand that certain sequences can be way harder than other ones. You just have nothing to compare this first month of your medical school with, and so I would just give yourself time if you need to. But if you feel as if this is really putting a drain on you and killing you on the inside, then of course, take a break. Health>>>>>>>>anything else.

 

[doyouhaveaflag]

I disagree with the poster above who said that medical school/residency only gets harder-- I think it's probably different for everyone.
For me, I definitely think the beginning was the hardest (of course, I'm early on in my training), but then you're like 1 month done, 2 months done, 3 months done-- holy ****, can't believe I made it this far!
I also felt the material getting a lot easier as I went on, as I felt as I was both "learning how to learn" and learning the basics of medicine, and so things just started making a lot more sense and I could put 2 and 2 together more-- I hope this makes sense. I also felt that "time management" got a lot easier, in that as my efficiency went up naturally with time, I had lots more time to myself. And I definitely think my first year material will be a lot more challenging than anything else I do in my medical career because learning the basics can be really tough.

@tick_tock400, are you an M2? I think you may be in a very small minority if M2 has gotten easier for you than M1, but maybe it depends on where you go to school.

For my school, M2 was orders of magnitude more material than M1. I thought there was no way I could have even less free time than studying for M2 and step 1, but M3 has so far been living at the hospital from before dawn until dark 6 days a week and still being expected to study for shelf exams. I love med school and I don't mind the hours right now at all (being at the hospital talking to patients and residents is so much better than studying), but each year has definitely gotten harder.

 

[el_duderino]

@tick_tock400, are you an M2? I think you may be in a very small minority if M2 has gotten easier for you than M1, but maybe it depends on where you go to school.

For my school, M2 was orders of magnitude more material than M1. I thought there was no way I could have even less free time than studying for M2 and step 1, but M3 has so far been living at the hospital from before dawn until dark 6 days a week and still being expected to study for shelf exams. I love med school and I don't mind the hours right now at all (being at the hospital talking to patients and residents is so much better than studying), but each year has definitely gotten harder.

I've had kind of the opposite experience. MS1 totally overwhelmed me with volume. MS2 was still high-volume, but things started to come together and make sense. I got married halfway through, and life was generally pretty good. Step 1 studying was morning-to-night, wall-to-wall studying, and that was the hardest experience of my life. MS3 so far has been variable. Surgery was pre-dawn to night clinical responsibilities plus studying, but it was a lot of fun and really rewarding. It wasn't that difficult mentally. Pediatrics is much more chill, and I have a lot of free time.

So, for me, MS1 was the hardest year, and MS3 has been a total blast.

 

[mistafab]

Hey there OP -

It sounds like you need some self-care strategies. You gotta go back to some hobbies you used to have, the little querky things you liked that gave you peace when you needed it and made you who you are. Stay connected with your Fiance as close as you can, and make sure to give yourself time for your hobbies or something outside school. It just seems like you are "all-in" with school - which is great, however balance in life is important.

 

[doyouhaveaflag]

I've had kind of the opposite experience. MS1 totally overwhelmed me with volume. MS2 was still high-volume, but things started to come together and make sense. I got married halfway through, and life was generally pretty good. Step 1 studying was morning-to-night, wall-to-wall studying, and that was the hardest experience of my life. MS3 so far has been variable. Surgery was pre-dawn to night clinical responsibilities plus studying, but it was a lot of fun and really rewarding. It wasn't that difficult mentally. Pediatrics is much more chill, and I have a lot of free time.

So, for me, MS1 was the hardest year, and MS3 has been a total blast.

Hmm, perhaps finding M1 to be the hardest year is not as uncommon as I thought it was. I've liked each year more even though they have gotten progressively more difficult for me. Oddly, the most relaxed I've been during med school was in dedicated step 1 studying, I think because the only thing I had to think about was studying and I wasn't having exams every 2 weeks like I was during the year. My blood pressure actually went down quite a bit. I think I am in a very small minority on that experience though.

Sorry for the thread derail, OP. Hang in there a bit longer and I think it may get better. If you truly still hate it and feel it's a soul-crushing experience at the end of M1, you might consider pursuing something else. I would talk to your school advisors and counselors before doing that though. It may sound ridiculous, but you might also consider shadowing in a specialty that interests you or volunteering at your school's free clinic. I did that a lot during M1, and it helped me remember why I went to med school in the first place while I was struggling to find the joy in learning the basic sciences.

 

[backside_attack]

Generally speaking, the "older" students in your class (those over 25, typically with some significant life experience and important relationships) are working to hold on to a lot of the other stuff from life outside of school and are far less Type A and hyper-competitive. It's a generalization, for sure, but I have a feeling that if you seek out a few students from that informal group, you might surprise yourself to learn how others are handling it and you can glean some wisdom, perhaps.

Also it sounds like you go to my school In which case, find us non-trads and make friends. We feel VERY different from the rest of the class.

**And this is not to say that ONLY non-trads are chill and that traditional students are never chill, but its a generalization I've observed.

 

[futuremdforme]

Do not quit over the first few weeks! You're doing great, and you will find your balance. It will be a different balance than before, because things changed. Things would change no matter what. If you started med school out of undergrad, well, med school is going to be more work and you will have less time for other stuff. You probably knew this, and just need time to get used to it.

As for other students: you will find jerks in every profession. Leaving med school over them would lead you to work with different jerks, while not being a doctor.

 

[Milotic]

This thread is absolutely anecdote central.

The hardest year of life is definitely freshman year of high school. It only gets easier from there.
I know a guy who facebooked/youtubed/netflixed 75% of the day, and skimmed first aid once during step 1 studying, didn't finish half of Uworld and nailed a 251 and continues to tell every incoming MS2 that it "is not that bad."

 

[doyouhaveaflag]

The hardest year of life is definitely freshman year of high school. It only gets easier from there.

Haha, if we're not limiting ourselves to considering med school and beyond, I 100% agree! High school was terrible.

 

[cs24]

And I definitely think my first year material will be a lot more challenging than anything else I do in my medical career because learning the basics can be really tough.

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I think you will find a medical career to be a bit more challenging than you are currently expecting. At least get through third year before you start making sweeping statements like this.

 

[ohioguy]

I'm sorry to say, it's only downhill from here.

 

[DocWinter]

First semester of med school was by far the hardest for me and I think my classmates, if polled, would likely agree.

As a non-trad starting med school in late 20s I agree with the above posters, try to find some people on a 2nd career on the farther right of your classes median age bell curve. We've discovered that family and time to ourselves has some worth and aren't keen about pulling monster-fuel all-nighters cramming for another ring on the class rank rung.

 

[lymphocyte]

I'm an MS1 and I just started med school 3 weeks ago

At first, I put a huge smile on my face and tried to become friends with everyone. I've made fun and supportive friends and I've done okay on my exams so far, but every day, I feel like I lose a little piece of my former self. It seems like I have to drop everything I've ever been in the past just to be a medical student.

Even worse, I find myself increasingly annoyed at many of my fellow classmates - there are so many borderline psychopathic, rigidly Type A, and self righteous people. I don't know what I expected - but as someone who does not identify with those kinds of people, I feel out of place, as though I've been pushed into an assembly line of narcissistic robots without my consent. I was optimistic when I started, and I told myself that I would stay "above" the petty competition and the obsession with grades and the unnecessary type A stressing. I don't want my self worth to be defined by how well I do on my exams. But slowly, I feel that I'm beginning to give in. I did well on my exams last week, and when I saw my grades, I cried and whooped and cheered and thought to myself, "okay, good, you're worth something". But this is not okay, and I am not okay with having this mentality.

Equal halves of me want to quit school and also want to keep going. Every day I ask myself "why are you subjecting yourself to this torture"? I have a college degree, I have a fiance who supports me financially, and I see my friends finding jobs at lucrative tech companies, getting six figure salaries just for being the person responsible for updating their company's facebook page. And here I am, slaving away, for what?

But then there are other days, when I learn how to use a stethoscope or a patient confides something to me, when I think to myself that maybe this is all worth it.

How do you guys deal with these extreme ups and downs of emotions in med school?

I'm sorry you're going through this. The desire to quit is 100% normal, and I suspect it's something *everybody* thinks about now and then. You are not alone in feeling this way.

You ask about separating "self-worth from medical school." Not to point out the blatantly obvious, but the key is having self-worth to begin with. That means finding sources of esteem that don't often depend on things beyond your control. You can, for example, esteem how hard you study for a test, but how you do on that test ultimately depends on a whole pile of other factors, and sometimes little of it has to do with you personally.

What's even more worrisome: when your mood starts to fluctuate dramatically in proportion to your esteem--"extreme ups and downs of emotions" as you call it. That is, in fact, not normal nor healthy. Some people go over the moon when their attending says, "Great job" or when a random patient tells them that they'll be an awesome doctor. To me, those compliments are nice, but when I get home, I'm exactly the same person as when I left. My mood reflects that. Ditto when an attending gives me critical feedback or a jerk says something mean. The upshot: I spend a lot less energy trying to defend or maintain my ego, and a lot more time embracing constructive feedback (or filtering out what seems unfair). Part of having stable esteem is actually being more receptive to the world, because you're confidently able to divide the world into what's out there and what's inside. I contend that the "torture" you feel has to do, in part, with not yet being able to divide the world in this way. That's why you naturally want to cry and whoop and cheer and feel worthy over a good test result and not over, for example, how hard you studied for it. ("But this is not okay" as you intuitively know, and you're 100% right.)

Just reading your post carefully. You talk about "self-worth" but then you immediately mention how you've "put a huge smile on your face and tried to become friends with everyone." How exhausting! These are the same people you go on to say are "borderline psychopathic, rigidly Type A, and self righteous people"--an assembly line of "narcissistic robots." Why be friends with them then? You then mention how your other friends have jobs at "lucrative tech companies," "getting six figure salaries" just for being the person "responsible for updating their company's facebook page." And here you are "slaving away, for what"? It's interesting how you devalue your friends' work (don't you think they might feel like they're slaving away too?; don't you think some of them would rather be in medical school than "updating facebook pages"?), but you make zero mention of how happy or satisfied they are--only how much money they make, because, to you, that's probably the easiest measure of value (just like test scores--notice the similarity?). Things that are infinitely more difficult to value--but infinitely more rewarding--are personal satisfaction in a job well done and having meaningful connection with other people in life. Are those things possible in medical school? Absolutely.

My suggestion would be this: drop the charade. Stop making friends with everybody. Focus on being a great friend with the people worth being friends with. Expect the same from them. At the same time, let yourself have feelings about whatever. I know that sounds opposite to what I said above, but it's not. Letting yourself have feelings is, in part, acknowledging where those feelings come from--from within yourself and nowhere else. You feel great about a great test result because you feel great--nothing about that has to do with the test result itself. Ditto when you get feel like crap at a bad evaluation. It's time to start dividing the world.

My other suggestion would be to have some compassion for your classmates. Most probably feel exactly the same way. Where you see "narcissistic robots," I see human beings who might be struggling, just like you are, with regulating and internalizing their self-esteem. And what is narcissism if not thinking you're different from people just like you?

 

[Ace Khalifa]

I'm sorry you're going through this. The desire to quit is 100% normal, and I suspect it's something *everybody* thinks about now and then. You are not alone in feeling this way.

You ask about separating "self-worth from medical school." Not to point out the blatantly obvious, but the key is having self-worth to begin with. That means finding sources of esteem that don't often depend on things beyond your control. You can, for example, esteem how hard you study for a test, but how you do on that test ultimately depends on a whole pile of other factors, and sometimes little of it has to do with you personally.

What's even more worrisome: when your mood starts to fluctuate dramatically in proportion to your esteem--"extreme ups and downs of emotions" as you call it. That is, in fact, not normal nor healthy. Some people go over the moon when their attending says, "Great job" or when a random patient tells them that they'll be an awesome doctor. To me, those compliments are nice, but when I get home, I'm exactly the same person as when I left. My mood reflects that. Ditto when an attending gives me critical feedback or a jerk says something mean. The upshot: I spend a lot less energy trying to defend or maintain my ego, and a lot more time embracing constructive feedback (or filtering out what seems unfair). Part of having stable esteem is actually being more receptive to the world, because you're confidently able to divide the world into what's out there and what's inside. I contend that the "torture" you feel has to do, in part, with not yet being able to divide the world in this way. That's why you naturally want to cry and whoop and cheer and feel worthy over a good test result and not over, for example, how hard you studied for it. ("But this is not okay" as you intuitively know, and you're 100% right.)

Just reading your post carefully. You talk about "self-worth" but then you immediately mention how you've "put a huge smile on your face and tried to become friends with everyone." How exhausting! These are the same people you go on to say are "borderline psychopathic, rigidly Type A, and self righteous people"--an assembly line of "narcissistic robots." Why be friends with them then? You then mention how your other friends have jobs at "lucrative tech companies," "getting six figure salaries" just for being the person "responsible for updating their company's facebook page." And here you are "slaving away, for what"? It's interesting how you devalue your friends' work (don't you think they might feel like they're slaving away too?; don't you think some of them would rather be in medical school than "updating facebook pages"?), but you make zero mention of how happy or satisfied they are--only how much money they make, because, to you, that's probably the easiest measure of value (just like test scores--notice the similarity?). Things that are infinitely more difficult to value--but infinitely more rewarding--are personal satisfaction in a job well done and having meaningful connection with other people in life. Are those things possible in medical school? Absolutely.

My suggestion would be this: drop the charade. Stop making friends with everybody. Focus on being a great friend with the people worth being friends with. Expect the same from them. At the same time, let yourself have feelings about whatever. I know that sounds opposite to what I said above, but it's not. Letting yourself have feelings is, in part, acknowledging where those feelings come from--from within yourself and nowhere else. You feel great about a great test result because you feel great--nothing about that has to do with the test result itself. Ditto when you get feel like crap at a bad evaluation. It's time to start dividing the world.

My other suggestion would be to have some compassion for your classmates. Most probably feel exactly the same way. Where you see "narcissistic robots," I see human beings who might be struggling, just like you are, with regulating and internalizing their self-esteem. And what is narcissism if not thinking you're different from people just like you?

You have no idea how much I needed to read something like this today. Thank you for the reality check. And I'm saying this as a second year.

 

[tick_tock400]

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I think you will find a medical career to be a bit more challenging than you are currently expecting. At least get through third year before you start making sweeping statements like this.

Lol, I'm going to defend my statement. Everything's different for everyone. I think building basics can be really tough, and adjusting to M1 culture/expectations can be really tough. I've always found "basics" very difficult.
I also think experiences may be pretty different at different schools. I've heard from a # of ppl in my school that M1>>other years, and that M1's the worst. But I definitely get the vibe that other schools are different.

But OP, I agree with lymphocyte and some of the other posters above, definitely do some self-exploring and realize that your experience may just be what you make it. Even if you're struggling now, you don't have much to measure it against {i.e. this could be content specific, lecturer specific struggles, or something completely out of medical school related struggles}.

 

[cbrons]

Like this

Sent from my SM-N910P using SDN mobile

 

[toutou]

I'm sorry you're going through this. The desire to quit is 100% normal, and I suspect it's something *everybody* thinks about now and then. You are not alone in feeling this way.

You ask about separating "self-worth from medical school." Not to point out the blatantly obvious, but the key is having self-worth to begin with. That means finding sources of esteem that don't often depend on things beyond your control. You can, for example, esteem how hard you study for a test, but how you do on that test ultimately depends on a whole pile of other factors, and sometimes little of it has to do with you personally.

What's even more worrisome: when your mood starts to fluctuate dramatically in proportion to your esteem--"extreme ups and downs of emotions" as you call it. That is, in fact, not normal nor healthy. Some people go over the moon when their attending says, "Great job" or when a random patient tells them that they'll be an awesome doctor. To me, those compliments are nice, but when I get home, I'm exactly the same person as when I left. My mood reflects that. Ditto when an attending gives me critical feedback or a jerk says something mean. The upshot: I spend a lot less energy trying to defend or maintain my ego, and a lot more time embracing constructive feedback (or filtering out what seems unfair). Part of having stable esteem is actually being more receptive to the world, because you're confidently able to divide the world into what's out there and what's inside. I contend that the "torture" you feel has to do, in part, with not yet being able to divide the world in this way. That's why you naturally want to cry and whoop and cheer and feel worthy over a good test result and not over, for example, how hard you studied for it. ("But this is not okay" as you intuitively know, and you're 100% right.)

Just reading your post carefully. You talk about "self-worth" but then you immediately mention how you've "put a huge smile on your face and tried to become friends with everyone." How exhausting! These are the same people you go on to say are "borderline psychopathic, rigidly Type A, and self righteous people"--an assembly line of "narcissistic robots." Why be friends with them then? You then mention how your other friends have jobs at "lucrative tech companies," "getting six figure salaries" just for being the person "responsible for updating their company's facebook page." And here you are "slaving away, for what"? It's interesting how you devalue your friends' work (don't you think they might feel like they're slaving away too?; don't you think some of them would rather be in medical school than "updating facebook pages"?), but you make zero mention of how happy or satisfied they are--only how much money they make, because, to you, that's probably the easiest measure of value (just like test scores--notice the similarity?). Things that are infinitely more difficult to value--but infinitely more rewarding--are personal satisfaction in a job well done and having meaningful connection with other people in life. Are those things possible in medical school? Absolutely.

My suggestion would be this: drop the charade. Stop making friends with everybody. Focus on being a great friend with the people worth being friends with. Expect the same from them. At the same time, let yourself have feelings about whatever. I know that sounds opposite to what I said above, but it's not. Letting yourself have feelings is, in part, acknowledging where those feelings come from--from within yourself and nowhere else. You feel great about a great test result because you feel great--nothing about that has to do with the test result itself. Ditto when you get feel like crap at a bad evaluation. It's time to start dividing the world.

My other suggestion would be to have some compassion for your classmates. Most probably feel exactly the same way. Where you see "narcissistic robots," I see human beings who might be struggling, just like you are, with regulating and internalizing their self-esteem. And what is narcissism if not thinking you're different from people just like you?

Marry me, lymphocyte

 

[mistafab]

I love how this segment was written. It is hard for some people to accept outside vs. inside. However, learning how to make spheres of control, as it were, is an important lesson. The balance between ego preservation and an internal locus of control may be hard at times - imperative to find.

Part of having stable esteem is actually being more receptive to the world, because you're confidently able to divide the world into what's out there and what's inside.

 

[criticalelement]

How do you guys deal with these extreme ups and downs of emotions in med school?

The way I dealt with it was I kept on saying to myself it is all going to be worth it at the end. Its all going to be worth it athe end. I kept on repeating that every step of the way. Truly painful existence. But it eventually ended and I graduated. Not sure if it was worth it but I got through it. I hate my job and profession. In order to succeed, everyone wants you tobe a yes man.. Thats a tough pill to swallow daily.


It is hard for everybody. Regardless of what anyone says. It is challenging. And each person has different coping mechanisms. Some drink, some...... you get the picture.

I dont want you to make any decisions based on what I say.

Figure out what your coping mechanisms will be... develop robust conflict resolution skills.. and you will get through it..

 

[cs24]

Lol, I'm going to defend my statement. Everything's different for everyone. I think building basics can be really tough, and adjusting to M1 culture/expectations can be really tough. I've always found "basics" very difficult.
I also think experiences may be pretty different at different schools. I've heard from a # of ppl in my school that M1>>other years, and that M1's the worst. But I definitely get the vibe that other schools are different.

But OP, I agree with lymphocyte and some of the other posters above, definitely do some self-exploring and realize that your experience may just be what you make it. Even if you're struggling now, you don't have much to measure it against {i.e. this could be content specific, lecturer specific struggles, or something completely out of medical school related struggles}.

What year are you now?

Sure, adjusting can be tough, but I think you would be hard-pressed to find many people who would objectively consider the workload of M1 year to be tougher than boards studying or M3, and certainly not residency. You may cope with it better, but it is harder. Of course I can't tell you what your own subjective experience is like, but I would just caution that, if you are still early in your medical career be ready to hunker down and hold on tight because it's not getting much easier. "It never gets easier, you just go faster"

 

[itsogre]

I always get overwhelmed when my classmates talk about their accomplishments and things that they do for extra-curriculars and research. I immediately start to feel guilty that I'm not studying as much or doing as much, and then really jealous and envious. At least my husband can always tell me I'm doing awesome.