How to stay focused and positive in medical school?

[BTR41]

So I’ve been in medical school for a month. And I’ve been having a hard time trying to stay focused and positive. On the day of my first final exam, I found out my relative I am really close to died at 31 from COVID complications. She is the 3rd person in a month and a half in my family to have died during this pandemic. Overall there have been 5 of my close family members that have died. And my dad was two high risk health conditions, so if he gets COVID he will probably die as well. The pandemic is really bad where most of my family lives.

Due to all of this I haven’t really been performing as well as I hoped in medical school. I’m going to therapy and trying to be positive but it’s not really working. Is there anything anyone has during done hard times in medical which seemed to help them.

I can’t really reach out to my friends in medical school cause I’ve only known them for a month. And my medical school is petty and gossipy like middle school. And most of my friends who I talk regularly have no idea what it’s like being in medical school.
Any advice would be appreciated.

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[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

First of all, sorry for what you’re going through. That’s awful, and I really empathize because I also lost a family member to COVID. It sucks, and it’s completely understandable that you are having trouble focusing in school after losing five family members.

It’s good that you’re going to therapy. If it isn’t working, you should tell them that. There might be a different tack to try, or maybe you just need a different therapist.

I would also go to your office of student affairs. They should be in the loop here, because it may be in your best interest to decelerate if you think you might not be able to perform right now (which is totally understandable). They will be able to help you consider things like that and getting them in the loop early will help.

 

[BTR41]

Thanks for the advice. I tried talking to a professor about it but he got offended and thought I didn’t want to be at my medical school in the Midwest and wanted to be at a school in the south. I didn’t really say anything about that. But he turned me saying I sometimes wish I was supporting my family as attacking the medical school. And I’m pretty sure it affected my grade in one of my classes. So I am just scared about going to my school since I don’t want to piss any one else off.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Thanks for the advice. I tried talking to a professor about it but he got offended and thought I didn’t want to be at my medical school in the Midwest and wanted to be at a school in the south. I didn’t really say anything about that. But he turned me saying I sometimes wish I was supporting my family as attacking the medical school. And I’m pretty sure it affected my grade in one of my classes. So I am just scared about going to my school since I don’t want to piss any one else off.

Uh wow. That professor sounds like a dick. OSA’s job is to help you handle things like this. You should be able to go to them.

 

[BTR41]

Ya I know. I honestly was shocked. That’s why I think I might just have to figure this stuff out on my own sadly. Except if my dad gets COVID then I will probably ask for a transfer since he would be such a high risk patient. In the next few weeks I will see if I can go talk to academic services. I’m trying to get on my professors good side this week since I might have him for future classes. If the meeting goes well then I might talk to Academic Services at a later date about my COVID situation. Does that sound like a decent plan? I feel like I am walking on a tight rope tbh.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Ya I know. I honestly was shocked. That’s why I think I might just have to figure this stuff out on my own sadly. Except if my dad gets COVID then I will probably ask for a transfer since he would be such a high risk patient. In the next few weeks I will see if I can go talk to academic services. I’m trying to get on my professors good side this week since I might have him for future classes. If the meeting goes well then I might talk to Academic Services at a later date about my COVID situation. Does that sound like a decent plan? I feel like I am walking on a tight rope tbh.

I would talk to your student affairs office sooner rather than later, regardless of what’s going on with your professor.

 

[Captain_Falcon]

Ya I know. I honestly was shocked. That’s why I think I might just have to figure this stuff out on my own sadly. Except if my dad gets COVID then I will probably ask for a transfer since he would be such a high risk patient. In the next few weeks I will see if I can go talk to academic services. I’m trying to get on my professors good side this week since I might have him for future classes. If the meeting goes well then I might talk to Academic Services at a later date about my COVID situation. Does that sound like a decent plan? I feel like I am walking on a tight rope tbh.

I agree with what others have said. Seek assistance now. You dont want to wait any longer, there's no benefit to doing that. I also would not plan on a transfer being a viable option unfortunately. They are extremely rare, require the approval of your current school plus the other school you're hoping to get into.

 

[ciestar]

Yes, visit to student affairs.

My mom basically did die during my first month of med school (She is fine now.. but yeah) and my student affair’s dean got to know me really well.

 

[ciestar]

This is my plug to check an EKG on higher risk individuals before giving levaquin, btw (or any qt-prolonging agent)

 

[Goro]

So I’ve been in medical school for a month. And I’ve been having a hard time trying to stay focused and positive. On the day of my first final exam, I found out my relative I am really close to died at 31 from COVID complications. She is the 3rd person in a month and a half in my family to have died during this pandemic. Overall there have been 5 of my close family members that have died. And my dad was two high risk health conditions, so if he gets COVID he will probably die as well. The pandemic is really bad where most of my family lives.

Due to all of this I haven’t really been performing as well as I hoped in medical school. I’m going to therapy and trying to be positive but it’s not really working. Is there anything anyone has during done hard times in medical which seemed to help them.

I can’t really reach out to my friends in medical school cause I’ve only known them for a month. And my medical school is petty and gossipy like middle school. And most of my friends who I talk regularly have no idea what it’s like being in medical school.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Seek out your school's counseling center. This is NOT giving medical advice.

Also seek out any trusted faculty member.

Look into mindfulness techniques.

You're not alone!!!

 

[esob]

I would say don't be afraid to reach out to some of your classmates early if you feel a connection with them. Yes, there are lots of petty people in medical school, but that is true of humans in general. My core group of close friends I met in the first week or two of school and I knew pretty much right away that they were the ones I could lean on during the inevitable rough times in med school.

 

[deleted1005514]

I took a leave of absence last year for reasons similar to what you’re going through, and I’m returning this year as a repeating OMS-1.

I’m not going to encourage you to take a LOA, but do not isolate yourself during this time! It’s easy to feel like you’re alone, no one understands, you have to make decisions alone, the faculty/staff aren’t on your side, etc.

Sometimes therapy isn’t enough, but I applaud your foresight to start that first...you definitely need to talk to Student Affairs, and you need a friend you can cry to. It doesn’t have to be a medical school friend, but it should be someone who will encourage you if you choose to stay as well as support you if you decide to take a LOA, and who is willing to just listen when you need an ear.

I had a classmate last year who had a parent pass away in a car accident right before finals. She took a week off to be with her family (school approved), and when she came back she surrounded herself with friends who helped support her in making up the work and finishing the semester strong. She’s a 2nd year now, a tutor, and doing great. I on the other hand isolated myself, ended up taking a LOA, and now I’m back and thriving, but I’m in a MUCH better mental space than I was last year, and it’s made all the difference. I wish I had done what she did and reached out to others sooner to help me get through.

You can do this, OP! Don’t be afraid to ask for help from anyone you can.

 

[BTR41]

So I went to academic services and they weren’t very helpful. They said I needed a note from a therapist with the real diagnosis to do anything. And they also mentioned a LOA. I feel like they aren’t really trying to help. They just kept stating we can’t help you if it’s not a mental health condition diagnosed. Any advice?

 

[Captain_Falcon]

So I went to academic services and they weren’t very helpful. They said I needed a note from a therapist with the real diagnosis to do anything. And they also mentioned a LOA. I feel like they aren’t really trying to help. They just kept stating we can’t help you if it’s not a mental health condition diagnosed. Any advice?

Go see a therapist. The school told you what you need to do in order for them to help you. Tell the therapist everything you need to in order to get the mental health you need. And then tell him to write a note for school explaining your diagnosis