how to use PS feedback

[broimtired]

Background: I wrote a PS, sent it to an admin from my dream MD school, they replied with corrections only to grammar, said it was great overall, and told me to make sure I apply early to their school/let them know if I do. That was last year.

Decided to apply this cycle instead, changed the PS to have more recent experience (kept it mostly the same). The previous admin had left, so I tried the tactic again at different schools. Got two responses from schools in my state. Also had a medstudent friend who works in admissions read the PS. All three have opposite and conflicting feedback:

ex 1: the language/structure you use is too complex vs you write very well and this is what I like to see
ex 2: I like these experiences, expand on them more by removing X part vs these experiences don't tell me a ton, find new ones, or mostly expand on X experience.

Issue: I have made many revisions, but none appease all 3 people. I feel like with each draft, my voice disappears from the narrative more and more, and I feel very conflicted with how to move forward in a way that will appease everyone (which is the goal in this, right). I'm just exhausted.

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[gyngyn]

I feel very conflicted with how to move forward in a way that will appease everyone (which is the goal in this, right). I'm just exhausted.

The goal is to write a narrative in your own voice that is consistent with your overall application. It tells us how you are going to do good in the world as a physician.

Attempting to please folks at different schools will not work.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

What did you ask when it came to feedback? Having read a lot of application essays, I think your feedback reflects the styles preferred by those readers (we can't help this), but this means you haven't found the right style to convey your message... unless you didn't get feedback about what that message is. What is your narrative, and how clear is it?

Bookmark as I keep thinking about this.

 

[broimtired]

What did you ask when it came to feedback? Having read a lot of application essays, I think your feedback reflects the styles preferred by those readers (we can't help this), but this means you haven't found the right style to convey your message... unless you didn't get feedback about what that message is. What is your narrative, and how clear is it?

Bookmark as I keep thinking about this.

Thanks for this.

What do you mean by style? Like, the way i structure the PS (ex: chronological vs more of a narrative style) or style as in the way I discuss my experiences and their impacts/the words I use. Or maybe something else?

How do I find the right style? I thought mine was strong, but I no longer have one as I try to figure our what they like, but when if I gear it towards one style one of them suggests, the other 1 or 2 people hate it, whichever way I go. I don't want to give up, is there a way for me to figure this out if it is truly down to my style?

 

[broimtired]

The goal is to write a narrative in your own voice that is consistent with your overall application. It tells us how you are going to do good in the world as a physician.

Attempting to please folks at different schools will not work.

You're right. I am just trying to keep the statement accurate to my perspectives and experience, but at the same time, I want it to resonate with as many people as possible to bolster my app overall. Should I forgo that and just stick to what my experiences are, and just send it in?

 

[gyngyn]

Should I forgo that and just stick to what my experiences are, and just send it in?

Yes.

 

[karaya]

You're right. I am just trying to keep the statement accurate to my perspectives and experience, but at the same time, I want it to resonate with as many people as possible to bolster my app overall. Should I forgo that and just stick to what my experiences are, and just send it in?

Forgot who said it, but "If you try to make love to the whole world, you'll end up with a disease." Stay true to your voice my friend. When you put on a different one, your writing can only become weaker.

 

[LunaOri]

LunaOri’s Advice for Writing Your Personal Statemen

Begin by imagining that you are talking with an old friend, or a favorite teacher or professor. Tell that person how you came to your decision to apply to medical school. You can either talk, and record yourself, or write it as though you were speaking. Don’t worry about grammar or structure at this point; it’s all about your ideas, stories, and motivations.

Next, listen to your recording or review your notes. Can you see a theme, or a chronologic development of your ideas? If yes, it’s time to write your PS. You can structure it either chronologically or thematically, but you should show how your journey to medicine progressed. For most people, that’s a chronologic storyline. Don’t worry if your story is not unusual/unique/dramatic/exciting—it doesn’t have to amaze us, it just has to be real.

(If you don’t see a theme or a progression in your journey, don’t struggle with the writing yet. You’re not ready. Keep talking with friends/family/fellow premeds until your story emerges. Listeners will be able to tell, because you will sound enthusiastic and engaged. Trust me on this!)

DO NOT write your PS as a series of unrelated anecdotes with a statement about medicine at the end of each paragraph! Save your conclusions for your final paragraph.

DO NOT praise yourself or write about your own character. That is what your LOR are intended to do. Presumably, your LOR writers are more objective than you can be. Tell us what you have learned and how you have grown.

Once you have written a draft, either read it aloud and record it, or read it aloud to a friend/coworker/family member. Does it sound natural, or are you trying to force yourself into the “perfect premed” box? It is not necessary (nor is it desirable) to be super-formal; we want to hear your own voice. Don’t use language you wouldn’t use in everyday speech—or if you do, consult a dictionary or thesaurus to make sure you are using the words correctly. Choosing fancy words but misusing them doesn’t make you sound smart—it makes you sound fake!

It’s perfectly fine to write several completely different versions of your PS to see which one you like best. There is no “right” PS. Everyone has more ideas and experiences than they can fit into the character count, and you will have to choose which ones best illustrate your journey. As you progress, keep reading your PS versions aloud so that you can edit out the awkward and unnatural bits.

When you have a version you like, show it to a few people who have some experience with the process (if your school has premed advisors, this is the time to use them). Residents, med school faculty, the list of PS readers on SDN, are all possible resources.

Final step is to have someone proofread for grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

Best of luck! I look forward to seeing your best PS in your application!