I am a pre-med because my mom and dad want me to be one? Seen it?

[Jerokin]

So at my university I have come across at least 6 kids who are pre-meds because their parents want them to be pre-meds. Often these kids are miserable. I am kinda one of those kids but my parents didn't force me to be a pre-med, they just told me that I can either be an arts, social science, or some business major and starve after college or I can be a pre-med and actually get a job (stupid I know).

I am curious though, what usually ends up happening to kids who are pre-meds because their parents force them to be? What has been your experience with this?

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[Ansar]

Never met one, but they generally just end up doing bad in pre-reqs and change career plan. Like most normal incoming pre-meds

 

[raltima07]

Yea, if you are not dedicated - good luck muchacho. You [not you, but YOU in general] will crash and burn in the flames of HELL

 

[circulus vitios]

 

[TheMightySmiter]

I think it's more than possible for these people to do very well in their pre-reqs, get some good ECs, and score well on the MCAT. They might even do well in medical school. But they'll probably hate it the entire time. You can't live like that for more than a few years before it starts to take a serious toll on your physical and mental wellbeing. I would expect that some of these kids have alcoholism and/or drug use in their future--not all, but some.


I really do feel sorry for anyone who is a pre-med just because their parents want them to be. Or any career path for that matter. My parents have been nothing but supportive of my decision to apply to med school, and they were nothing but supportive when I wanted to work in politics back in undergrad. It's a win-win for me: not only do I get the career that I wanted but my parents didn't eff me up in the process.

 

[torshi]

In my anatomy/phys class, everyone in there were pre-nursing...everyone, i was the only pre-med. Kinda surprising, i guess cause nursing is the easy way out and plus they are actually bankin these days

 

[themetalhawk]

To make the whole medical thing worth it, you have to show a lot of drive and dedication; in other words, YOU have to want to do it. If you don't want to do it, you'll either be miserable and unhappy, or won't get into med school, or both. You should consider what you want over your parents.

 

[TheMightySmiter]

In my anatomy/phys class, everyone in there were pre-nursing...everyone, i was the only pre-med. Kinda surprising, i guess cause nursing is the easy way out and plus they are actually bankin these days

OK, whoa, I would in no way call nursing the easy way out. Do you know how hard nurses work? And how difficult nursing classes are? Just try being a bedside nurse for a day and tell me then that you still think nursing is the easy way out.

Sorry to harp, but I see this all the time among pre-meds, med students, and even interns/residents. You are in no way smarter or more hardworking than nurses are just because you've chosen medical school. If you don't appreciate the intelligence and clinical judgment of the nurses you work with, they can and will make your life miserable (and rightfully so).

 

[Whatyousay]

In my anatomy/phys class, everyone in there were pre-nursing...everyone, i was the only pre-med. Kinda surprising, i guess cause nursing is the easy way out and plus they are actually bankin these days

Not with the glut of nursing schools / graduates in the past decade.

 

[gettheleadout]

This is completely unheard of.

 

[Narmerguy]

I've met plenty that are smart and end up getting in (no idea what happens after that).

 

[orthomyxo]

Threads like these make me glad that my parents are indifferent towards my life goals, in the best way possible.

 

[NickNaylor]

So at my university I have come across at least 6 kids who are pre-meds because their parents want them to be pre-meds. Often these kids are miserable. I am kinda one of those kids but my parents didn't force me to be a pre-med, they just told me that I can either be an arts, social science, or some business major and starve after college or I can be a pre-med and actually get a job (stupid I know).

I am curious though, what usually ends up happening to kids who are pre-meds because their parents force them to be? What has been your experience with this?

Agreed with the above that even if you do manage to jump through all of the hoops and succeed at getting into medical school, you're going to hate it. Pursuing medicine isn't something you pick up as a hobby. It's going to consume your life. You better either learn to love it or you're going to be miserable.

The people that I've seen that are under parental pressure to pursue medicine generally don't do well because they have no motivation.

 

[SeminoleVesicle]

I've seen a few kids that have sacrificed their social lives completely because of being forced by their parents to study medicine. It seemed more cultural than anything.

My parents also told me that I wouldn't get a job if I did business, arts, or social sciences, but luckily, I decided in high school that I wanted to be a doctor so I'm studying in the efforts to one day study about something I'm passionate about.

 

[NYRN]

Ive seen docs drop out of residency because they weren't into medicine. One went to work for an insurance company and the other went into medical informatics. They were really smart too. I've also seen nurses who went into nursing for the $ and they didnt last either.

Healthcare in general is a field that you can't go into unless you really want it. Unless your parents have a multimillion dollar trust fund that will support you throughout your life, ignore their advice and do whatever it is you want.

 

[berriesandcream]

I have a friend who wanted to be a dentist, but her parents wanted her to pursue medicine. She got into a straight med program at SLU, majoring in psychology. Right now, she's not hating it because she picked the major, but she starts med school in 2012, and she's dreading it

 

[Avoidthetiger]

Had a friend once tell me that she wanted to be a hairdresser, but her parents wanted her to be a physician (Her mom was a physician back in their home country).

She's on her third year of medical school.

I hope she one day is able to cut hair.

 

[bing12]

I have a friend who wanted to be a dentist, but her parents wanted her to pursue medicine. She got into a straight med program at SLU, majoring in psychology. Right now, she's not hating it because she picked the major, but she starts med school in 2012, and she's dreading it

dental is pretty awesome.

I had similar pressures, but like most have said, i didnt have any motivation and did poorly when my parents pressured me. A few semesters later, I decided on dental, and started to do really well in my classes and pre-reqs.

My father on the other hand is a physician, and told me he wanted to go into another field when he was younger, but was pushed to pursue medicine, he said he is very glad his parents told him to go into the medical field, he is extremely happy now. Everyone is different, some may excel by their parents "blessing", while others need self motivation as the main source for success.

Good luck

 

[tman5890]

ok, whoa, i would in no way call nursing the easy way out. Do you know how hard nurses work? And how difficult nursing classes are? Just try being a bedside nurse for a day and tell me then that you still think nursing is the easy way out.

Sorry to harp, but i see this all the time among pre-meds, med students, and even interns/residents. You are in no way smarter or more hardworking than nurses are just because you've chosen medical school. If you don't appreciate the intelligence and clinical judgment of the nurses you work with, they can and will make your life miserable (and rightfully so).

+1

 

[Jerokin]

I guess one of the reasons I did so bad my first year at college (finished with like a 2.8) is because I saw no love for medicine. Basically my parents forced me into it, in their culture, being a doctor is like being a god.

Anyways, I had some issues with it but now I see the beauty in it, guess it grows on you. My parents really messed up my high school years, sent me to a high school I did not enjoy (wasn't a high quality high school either) just because it had health sciences in its name. They made me miss out on a lot of my dreams, I wanted to play football but my high school did not have a program. When I told them about my dream of at least playing ball they yelled at me and made my life hell for it.

I had to suffer through borderline obesity because my parents would not let me go outside and play (ended up losing a lot of that weight), they kept me locked up in a room and forced me to study, they were paranoid, my parents did not send me to a normal public high school because in their opinion I would come out "spoiled". Ironically, the public high school I would have ended up in was of higher quality than the health sciences high school they sent me to, better college placement, better average SAT score, better opportunities for advancement and everything.

Thing is I think to myself, had my parents not been such, excuse the word because there is nothing else I can come up with, such BAD PEOPLE, I would have had a better life, found my own passion for medicine early on and would have either done better in college or done so good in high school that I would have made it to a top university.

I found my own passion for medicine but heavenly father forbid I raise my kids like those people raised me. Now I am cool with them but I seriously do not like how they tried to live their dreams through me. Dad could never be a doctor so he tried to push me into that profession. I am in it now and see the love for it but man things could have been so much better. Now I lift weights and run to keep myself in shape, parents yelled at me for it at first but I stood my ground and now they know what needs to happen.

On a side note, it hurts to see that kids from that same public school I would have gone to are much better prepared for college. Some of the stuff we learn in college they learned in high school. We did not even cover most of this stuff in high school. Magnet schools can be a joke.

 

[salim271]

Yeah... I have friends like that. They dont do nearly as well as they're capable of, because they dont really want to learn the material.

 

[Person0715]

I feel so fortunate to have parents that support me no matter what I decide to do.

However, I know someone who's being forced by her parents to go the pre-med route. I can see she's trying hard to force herself to enjoy it since her parents won't really allow her to pursue other options.

It's really a shame when parents are so close-minded. They exert such a stifling pressure that can stunt a child's mental and emotional growth.

 

[Mr Cookie Pants]

OK, whoa, I would in no way call nursing the easy way out. Do you know how hard nurses work? And how difficult nursing classes are? Just try being a bedside nurse for a day and tell me then that you still think nursing is the easy way out.

Sorry to harp, but I see this all the time among pre-meds, med students, and even interns/residents. You are in no way smarter or more hardworking than nurses are just because you've chosen medical school. If you don't appreciate the intelligence and clinical judgment of the nurses you work with, they can and will make your life miserable (and rightfully so).

Nursing is the easy way out. They work hard. But so do flight attendants vs pilots. Even garbagemen work hard. Nursing classes are about 1000x easier, training is 1000x easier and their decisionmaking and clinical responsibilities and overall job time are 1000x easier.

 

[impulse462]

Quite honestly, I am in this exact same position too.

I'm into business and technology, but my parents are both doctors (cardiologist and neurointerventionist). I didn't do well in high school (solely because I didn't study as I was busy hacking iphone/android phones+helping my friend invest) and they think that I will somehow "make up" for that by becoming a doctor "for them", since I am doing much better in college.

I have an interest in medicine, but I have never imagined myself being a doctor. Just because I was able to accurately describe the movement of blood in all 4 chambers of the heart in 5th grade and I got an A in AP Bio and now all of a sudden I'm destined to be a doctor? (they think this)
Really pisses me off, and if I talk about doing anything else they just become defensive, say that their wasting their money on college if I don't do premed, and they are basically just in denial.

Whatever though, hopefully I solve this problem soon.

 

[malpractician]

yes. An adcom spoke at my college, and one interview a girl broke down and admitted she didn't want to go to med school. She then said "that's something you DON'T do at an interview" I disagreed, thinking that's exactly what you should do if that's how you feel.

 

[gettheleadout]

yes. An adcom spoke at my college, and one interview a girl broke down and admitted she didn't want to go to med school. She then said "that's something you DON'T do at an interview" I disagreed, thinking that's exactly what you should do if that's how you feel.

Seriously, you're only hurting future patients if you aren't committed to your job.

 

[Emerald84]

hahaah.... my parents were like "what...we really thought you would end up being and artist, and definitely a writer..what happened?!"

 

[Swiss Medical]

I am not going to say they pushed me. I will use the word "encourage". There are too many people in my family (nuclear or extended) that are doctor... and because of my exposure to it, I love it and what I am getting ready to do...

 

[Wile]

In my anatomy/phys class, everyone in there were pre-nursing...everyone, i was the only pre-med. Kinda surprising, i guess cause nursing is the easy way out and plus they are actually bankin these days

I don't think it's that surprising, A&P is a mandatory class for pre-nursing and dental hygiene. It's not a pre-req for med school. I'm scheduled to take it in the fall but I've had quite a few people advise me against it...

 

[PlatypusMD]

I was a business major because my dad insisted that I do it. I switched into premed a year ago because it's what *I* wanted to do. My dad and I rarely speak anymore. So there ya go

 

[274631]

.

 

[getdown]

Nursing is the easy way out. They work hard. But so do flight attendants vs pilots. Even garbagemen work hard. Nursing classes are about 1000x easier, training is 1000x easier and their decisionmaking and clinical responsibilities and overall job time are 1000x easier.

 

[Wile]

You do realize that some people actually WANT to be nurses right? Your arrogance is showing.

 

[Swiss Medical]

 

[paul411]

I've met some doctors of Indian origin (in the US) that became doctors because that's the track that was "assigned" to them. They take some super-competitive common entrance test for engineering/medical school and get admissions to medical or engineering based entirely on their scores.

Most of them claim to develop their passion and love for medicine as they go along their track.

Not the best system, but that's how it worked.

 

[Swiss Medical]

I've met some doctors of Indian origin (in the US) that became doctors because that's the track that was "assigned" to them. They take some super-competitive common entrance test for engineering/medical school and get admissions to medical or engineering based entirely on their scores.

Most of them claim to develop their passion and love for medicine as they go along their track.

Not the best system, but that's how it worked.

Reminds me of Brave New World by Huxley.

 

[beckmancoulter]

I've seen a few kids that have sacrificed their social lives completely because of being forced by their parents to study medicine. It seemed more cultural than anything.

My parents also told me that I wouldn't get a job if I did business, arts, or social sciences, but luckily, I decided in high school that I wanted to be a doctor so I'm studying in the efforts to one day study about something I'm passionate about.

IMO, no way. This is more on the kids than their parents. They can't stand up for themselves or are too afraid of the consequences of doing so. Sure they can be pressured into doing it-withdrawing financial help or having to live up to a big shot doc as a father-but there's no way parents can force their kids to do anything. Especially since studying medicine is a long term commitment that starts after high school when you are considered a legal adult.

 

[Whatyousay]

IMO, no way. This is more on the kids than their parents. They can't stand up for themselves or are too afraid of the consequences of doing so. Sure they can be pressured into doing it-withdrawing financial help or having to live up to a big shot doc as a father-but there's no way parents can force their kids to do anything. Especially since studying medicine is a long term commitment that starts after high school when you are considered a legal adult.

Clearly you have never felt the wrath of a tiger mom.

 

[mauberley]

IMO, no way. This is more on the kids than their parents. They can't stand up for themselves or are too afraid of the consequences of doing so. Sure they can be pressured into doing it-withdrawing financial help or having to live up to a big shot doc as a father-but there's no way parents can force their kids to do anything. Especially since studying medicine is a long term commitment that starts after high school when you are considered a legal adult.

In the grand tradition of making wildly inappropriate analogies, would you blame the victim for staying in an abusive relationship?

 

[MeowMeowCAT]

If parents did not force their kids to pursue medicine we all would be in liberal arts.

 

[beckmancoulter]

Clearly you have never felt the wrath of a tiger mom.

In the grand tradition of making wildly inappropriate analogies, would you blame the victim for staying in an abusive relationship?

My post came off like that... but really I'm rooting for the victim to get the F out of that situation! By no means am I siding with the tiger moms.

 

[PlatypusMD]

You're only viewing things from your own cultural lens. Some of us were brought up to honor our parent's wishes because that in itself is the right thing to do. Filial piety lasts as long as your parents are alive.

IMO, no way. This is more on the kids than their parents. They can't stand up for themselves or are too afraid of the consequences of doing so. Sure they can be pressured into doing it-withdrawing financial help or having to live up to a big shot doc as a father-but there's no way parents can force their kids to do anything. Especially since studying medicine is a long term commitment that starts after high school when you are considered a legal adult.

 

[NYBills987]

To the OP, I think its fine that your parents guided you in the direction of medicine as a career choice-- its a solid career.. However, you should really try shadowing physicians and volunteering at the hospital and start to develop your own interest in it. See if you like it and can see yourself doing it now that it is a true career choice in your immediate future.

 

[gettheleadout]

If parents did not force their kids to pursue medicine we all would be in liberal arts.

What? I chose this career path of my own accord, thank you.

 

[paul411]

[YOUTUBE]hVODv8A5-EM[/YOUTUBE]

I apologize in advance for referencing Family Guy

 

[Whatyousay]

I apologize in advance for referencing Family Guy

Apology not accepted.

 

[HH Holmes]

If I told my parents I wanted to drop medicine and become a garbage man, they'd smile, pat me on the back and say 'just be the best garbage man you can be.' I want to be a physician because I don't like wearing suits, working at a desk and dealing with financial BS all day like the rest of my family (although SDN makes it seem like all of the previous three are involved in medicine ). Oh yeah, and the helping others thing blah blah blah.

 

[Geekchick921]

I think the whole "my parents pushed me to be a doctor" thing may have been more prevalent in the past, during the "golden age" of medicine and back when good grades and a good MCAT were all it supposedly took to get into medical school (I understand there was a lot less EC-related hoop-jumping), but this is just based on the impression I get from some of the older doctors I work with. Granted, I am sure it still happens quite a bit, especially from the "tiger moms" people have been talking about above.

I also think these are many of the more unhappy doctors I've met. This is purely anecdotal, but the most negative response I ever got from a physician about my future plans came from one who I'm fairly sure was pressured to go into medicine from family expectations. His father and older brother are both doctors and they are all in the same specialty, and the rant he delivered to me once made it pretty clear to me he has not been happy.

 

[MeowMeowCAT]

My kids will be doctors and or engineers. They can worry about doing what they really want and being who they really want to be when they are earning 100k.

 

[Swiss Medical]

My kids will be doctors and or engineers. They can worry about doing what they really want and being who they really want to be when they are earning 100k.

I have two options given to me by mom and dad

doc or pharm.....they are considering dent.