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May 31, 2001
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any of you guys wish you had __________ (fill in the blank) to help you do your work.

if you could have anything in the OR/ICU/PACU/office that would help you do your job - what would it be?!

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Mar 13, 2003
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A monkey trained to chart and empty urine. He could also fling feces at arsehole surgeons at his discretion.


Feb 12, 2006
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a topless hottie wearing a thong and heels to change my IV bags, a la the girls holding the round cards at fights.

Each time I'm ready for a new bag, she would walk in the room, loop around the OR table, then reach to the top of the IV pole with one leg on the ground. She'd change the bags with about 50 cc left, so when she pulls the spike out, the last bit drips down her chest. Surgeons would stop and stare. Nurses would STFU. The Celine Dion playing on the male OB resident's iPod would spontaneously explode, and Hot for Teacher would blare.

If I could have that, all my patients would hit PACU with AT LEAST 4L on the case.
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Dec 8, 2006
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a personal assistant especially for all of the household stuff that keeps piling up


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That is one of the best ideas I've heard in a long time. And so true about the male OB res's Celine Dion ipod playlist.

For us it's the Brittney Spears on the Plastic Surgery fellow's iPod. That iPod is going to mysteriously "break" one of these days... or that fellow is going to just somehow unexplainably stop showing up for work.

And, Bertelman, awesome post.

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