Dire Straits said:
translation: i can't hack it in real medicine, so i'm going to be a quitter.
This thread was truly one of the most enlightening I have seen on SDN. There have been so many good points that it's impossible to quote, remember, analyze each one. ... But now for my story.. as an entering MS1 in Fall 2005, I've waited my turn long enough
I started undergrad school not knowing what I wanted. Got into engineering and before too long was working in industry for a major chemical company on the Gulf Coast (the only feasible location for a production engineer in Chemicals). Some of you have posted that "other professions let you use your brain to be creative." .... As an engineer, I know that is not true. There are procedures for everything, people who have already invented the "Most Effective Technology" (MET) and any improvements you might have will take years to replace the old MET.
Ultimately I work on projects to install equipment or code for the plant process, whether it be a pump or a condensor or even just some run of piping... Sometimes we improve energy efficiency, etc. Who cares, you may ask?
This career, engineering, is so pointless and mundane my existance is simply to "install X number of heat exchangers" or "design X number of piping loops." At the end of the day, I ask myself what I've accomplished? I usually end up saying "Well, I spent $75,000 of the company's money repairing some old piece of equipment that my Grandfather's colleauges likely designed" That would be a GOOD DAY. Bad days are more like " I wrote a procedure that helps new engineers spend $75,000 of the companies money repairing etc etc.. yada yada" ...I almost have to reconvince myself every morning that "I need to go to work..." I got into this because I enjoyed physical science!!!
However, the job never involves science because as I said before, someone already invented the MET. In reality, I am just biding my time until retirement...The business people who run the company make all the decisions about what I can and cannot do (somewhat analogous to the jerks who run insurance companies).
::exhales::
Hence, I switched fields. I am starting medicine in the Fall with the hope that I can bring some of my humor into the field. Hoping that I can ignore the attitudes of pestulant nurses. Hoping I can ignore the type-A neuro surgeons who are so pumped about themselves. Hoping that I can somehow grieve for the drunks, the druggies and the homeless that end up in my face. Most importantly, I want to be able to choose where I live, close to my ailing Grandparents. I also want to have a stable job and a good salary.
A lot of folks have said "I can't see myself doing anything else but medicine." Well I am not one of those.. I have already been in engineering, feeling useless as I drive home to an empty apartment with no wife and kids. I have been in acedamia (as a math tutor), feeling like no one really wanted to learn on their own and irritated with their bullS*%#. I have been in other basic jobs such as grocery stores and I know everyone there hates their life. .... Medicine is not my only option, it's just my last chance at making something worthwhile out of this so-far useless life.