I'm at the wrong school and am looking for advice

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Hey Guys,

I'm between a rock and a hard place and would very much appreciate some level headed advice from anybody willing to listen.

I matriculated at the wrong school for MD/PhD and am looking for advice. I am confident that I committed to the wrong school and have been since within a week of doing so. I have tried to move forward but my regret keeps coming back stronger. I reached out to my preferred school about this last spring (just after making the wrong commitment) and they said that they would be happy to take me on if any spot opened up (my spot had already gone to a waitlister). Unfortunately that didn't happen. I've been trying to move past it, including reaching out for external help, but this regret is usually the first and last thing I think about everyday and is has been a large obstacle to my happiness, productivity, and generally my participation in my current medical school. I worry that it is affecting my ability to train at this point.

Over the course of the application year during which I was making this decision a few major tragic things happened that shook me very deeply and and made it very difficult to make this decision as I was far from myself. In hindsight I wish that I would have let the schools I was considering know and maybe ask for more time but in the anxiety of the situation I was afraid to do so and did not want to share what had happened.

I feel trapped. I have spoken vaguely and confidentially about this with a person in my current program's administration(not the director) but again I hesitate to share too much, as if I cannot make a change I will be stuck at my current institution and don't want to illicit a bad-blood vibe between myself and the people in charge of my training. I worked very hard, as do every one of my peers, to obtain the acceptances I did in order to pursue this career and am terrified of how much this situation has shaken that to the point where I don't know that I can continue.

I don't know whether to reach out to the director of my desired program and ask if they would still be willing to take me as effectively a 1-year deferral student from last years application class or to go to my program director and ask to leave or both. I'm worried about souring relationships and being stuck anyway. 8 years is a long time to feel like I'm living a mistake and I feel as though I've already made several sacrifices to move towards a career in Academic Medicine and am struggling to decide

I'm at the end of my rope and would really appreciate any insights or input from absolutely anyone.

-Exhausted

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[eteshoe]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I don't have any super helpful advice but I know the physician scientist forum would.

@WedgeDawg would you mind moving the thread?

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Thanks. I actually posted a similar question there but wanted to have one here as well since people outside of the physician scientist thread could have some helpful insights. Thanks again

 

[whatever5]

I don't have any advice for what to do, but I'd be curious to know what it is about the school that makes you feel like you don't want to continue there.

 

[Goro]

Why is your school the "wrong school?"

I strongly suggest that you seek out your schools counseling center, STAT!!!

Hey Guys,

I'm between a rock and a hard place and would very much appreciate some level headed advice from anybody willing to listen.

I matriculated at the wrong school for MD/PhD and am looking for advice. I am confident that I committed to the wrong school and have been since within a week of doing so. I have tried to move forward but my regret keeps coming back stronger. I reached out to my preferred school about this last spring (just after making the wrong commitment) and they said that they would be happy to take me on if any spot opened up (my spot had already gone to a waitlister). Unfortunately that didn't happen. I've been trying to move past it, including reaching out for external help, but this regret is usually the first and last thing I think about everyday and is has been a large obstacle to my happiness, productivity, and generally my participation in my current medical school. I worry that it is affecting my ability to train at this point.

Over the course of the application year during which I was making this decision a few major tragic things happened that shook me very deeply and and made it very difficult to make this decision as I was far from myself. In hindsight I wish that I would have let the schools I was considering know and maybe ask for more time but in the anxiety of the situation I was afraid to do so and did not want to share what had happened.

I feel trapped. I have spoken vaguely and confidentially about this with a person in my current program's administration(not the director) but again I hesitate to share too much, as if I cannot make a change I will be stuck at my current institution and don't want to illicit a bad-blood vibe between myself and the people in charge of my training. I worked very hard, as does everyone of my peers, to obtain the acceptances I did in order to pursue this career and am terrified of how much this situation has shaken that to the point where I don't know that I can continue.

I don't know whether to reach out to the director of my desired program and ask if they would still be willing to take me as effectively a 1-year deferral student from last years application class or to go to my program director and ask to leave or both. I'm worried about souring relationships and being stuck anyway. 8 years is a long time to feel like I'm living a mistake and I feel as though I've already made several sacrifices to move towards a career in Academic Medicine and am struggling to decide

I'm at the end of my rope and would really appreciate any insights or input from absolutely anyone.

-Exhausted

 

[Doug Underhill]

Did someone in your program do something to make you feel unsafe? If so, this is a serious issue.

 

[WedgeDawg]

Moving to physician scientist.

(Also just a reminder that the report feature is an easier way to contact mods than tagging )

 

[doc05]

where are you? where do you want to go? what is the issue with your current program? and why the whole "woe is me" routine?

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Moving to physician scientist.

(Also just a reminder that the report feature is an easier way to contact mods than tagging )

Hey I was actually hoping this would go back to the original location as this isn't necessarily a physician scientist issue...

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

where are you? where do you want to go? what is the issue with your current program? and why the whole "woe is me" routine?

Sorry if it comes off as "woe is me." Really not looking for pity from some random snarky internet commenters; not sure what good that would do me. I'd rather not give more details at risk of compromising anonymity. Hoping the details I have provided will sufficiently elicit some advice I haven't considered.

 

[eteshoe]

So do you feel like the MD/PhD program at the school is wrong for you? As in would you continue at another institute? Or is the MD/PhD not what you're looking for and would rather just do a straight MD?

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

So do you feel like the MD/PhD program at the school is wrong for you? As in would you continue at another institute? Or is the MD/PhD not what you're looking for and would rather just do a straight MD?

In an ideal world I would be completing my MD/PhD at another institution

 

[WedgeDawg]

Hey I was actually hoping this would go back to the original location as this isn't necessarily a physician scientist issue...

Well, the original place was pre-allopathic, which is for pre-meds. You are a medical student, so I can either keep it here in physician scientist or move it to allopathic general, both of which are for medical student issues.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Well, the original place was pre-allopathic, which is for pre-meds. You are a medical student, so I can either keep it here in physician scientist or move it to allopathic general, both of which are for medical student issues.

Sorry my mistake. I think moving it to allopathic would be best if you don't mind. Thanks much

 

[WedgeDawg]

Okay, moving to allopathic.

 

[Law2Doc]

Without details as to why this is the wrong school, nobody can advise you. Most US allo med schools are good launching pads to any specialty, and MD-PhD from any allo school ought to give you a good shot at an allo career. The place you really wanted didn't have a spot so get over that. There are very few places that wouldn't allow you to carve out a niche and succeed, so it sounds much more like a personal issue than something wrong with the school. But again, without giving us some notion of what you find problematic about this place we won't know if it's a problem you need to address or whether you need to just suck it up and get over it.

 

[Optimus-Prime]

I've heard you can just complete the traditional MD and drop the PhD portion. If this holds true knock out a clinical year or two then maybe transfer, If your preferred institution is keen perhaps they will be willing to take you on; then maybe you can get enrolled in their MD/PhD program

I eb toward the opinion of you should suck it up, but without knowing your situation it is hard to speculate

 

[christmasindr]

Sorry if it comes off as "woe is me." Really not looking for pity from some random snarky internet commenters; not sure what good that would do me. I'd rather not give more details at risk of compromising anonymity. Hoping the details I have provided will sufficiently elicit some advice I haven't considered.

We would need more information if you want to seek advice. Otherwise, perhaps you should talk to a professional if you are worry about confidentiality.

 

[doc05]

Sorry if it comes off as "woe is me." Really not looking for pity from some random snarky internet commenters; not sure what good that would do me. I'd rather not give more details at risk of compromising anonymity. Hoping the details I have provided will sufficiently elicit some advice I haven't considered.

Actually, you've provided zero details. Just vague comments. Unless you can give specifics, noone here can give you any useful advice.

 

[TBV]

I really don't see how the programs would be so different that you would be miserable in one and happy as can be at the other. Especially in your first year. Unless you're getting felt up in cadaver lab or some **** you should just man up and get used to doing **** you don't like doing. Adulthood.

 

[grapp]

I hope you do realize there isn't a member from every medical school in here. And, the odds of identifying you are slim to none. I could tell you my state, and all of my problems and you still probably wouldn't have a clue if we in the same school. Let alone, same state. Unless you're friends with someone, you haven't even revealed the medical school. Therefore, it's completely irrational to not tell anyone on here; talk or don't. The choice is yours.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

I hope you do realize there isn't a member from every medical school in here. And, the odds of identifying you are slim to none. I could tell you my state, and all of my problems and you still probably wouldn't have a clue if we in the same school. Let alone, same state. Unless you're friends with someone, you haven't even revealed the medical school. Therefore, it's completely irrational to not tell anyone on here; talk or don't. The choice is yours.

Thanks but I've got my reasons. Good luck finishing up high school. You should check out Mama Inez if you haven't yet

 

[grapp]

Thanks but I've got my reasons. Good luck finishing up high school. You should check out Mama Inez if you haven't yet

I'm finished with high school, but thanks.

 

[futuremdforme]

I hope you do realize there isn't a member from every medical school in here. And, the odds of identifying you are slim to none. I could tell you my state, and all of my problems and you still probably wouldn't have a clue if we in the same school. Let alone, same state. Unless you're friends with someone, you haven't even revealed the medical school. Therefore, it's completely irrational to not tell anyone on here; talk or don't. The choice is yours.

Eh, I've identified someone before. Not a poster, but the poster said "I know a guy from 'Y area' who did 'X' and it was specific enough for me to know 100% who he meant.

 

[Gambler 101]

Maybe the program isn't as strong as the one you turned down. Maybe you don't get along with your PI. I'm not sure of the issue. I can say that you've made a commitment to be there at the expense of another student who could have had your spot. Sometimes in life we make rash decisions and have to deal with the consequences. Your best bet is to adapt and make the most of it. If you are unsafe, speak up. Otherwise either complete the program or drop the PhD and try to transfer after M2. Also, you should stop making vague comments to administration (if you're unsafe, say so). You don't want to risk making yourself an outcast.

 

[Reckoner]

Hey Guys,

I'm between a rock and a hard place and would very much appreciate some level headed advice from anybody willing to listen.

I matriculated at the wrong school for MD/PhD and am looking for advice. I am confident that I committed to the wrong school and have been since within a week of doing so. I have tried to move forward but my regret keeps coming back stronger. I reached out to my preferred school about this last spring (just after making the wrong commitment) and they said that they would be happy to take me on if any spot opened up (my spot had already gone to a waitlister). Unfortunately that didn't happen. I've been trying to move past it, including reaching out for external help, but this regret is usually the first and last thing I think about everyday and is has been a large obstacle to my happiness, productivity, and generally my participation in my current medical school. I worry that it is affecting my ability to train at this point.

Over the course of the application year during which I was making this decision a few major tragic things happened that shook me very deeply and and made it very difficult to make this decision as I was far from myself. In hindsight I wish that I would have let the schools I was considering know and maybe ask for more time but in the anxiety of the situation I was afraid to do so and did not want to share what had happened.

I feel trapped. I have spoken vaguely and confidentially about this with a person in my current program's administration(not the director) but again I hesitate to share too much, as if I cannot make a change I will be stuck at my current institution and don't want to illicit a bad-blood vibe between myself and the people in charge of my training. I worked very hard, as do every one of my peers, to obtain the acceptances I did in order to pursue this career and am terrified of how much this situation has shaken that to the point where I don't know that I can continue.

I don't know whether to reach out to the director of my desired program and ask if they would still be willing to take me as effectively a 1-year deferral student from last years application class or to go to my program director and ask to leave or both. I'm worried about souring relationships and being stuck anyway. 8 years is a long time to feel like I'm living a mistake and I feel as though I've already made several sacrifices to move towards a career in Academic Medicine and am struggling to decide

I'm at the end of my rope and would really appreciate any insights or input from absolutely anyone.

-Exhausted

You're asking them to take you as a transfer student? Or you would repeat first year. Transferring would be very difficult, on both the med school and MD/PhD side. The program you're trying to move to might have different requirements for lab rotations, which could set you back. Some programs have special classes their mudphuds take during preclinical. Also going to set you back. And then there's the two med school curricula, which might not match up and would make things difficult on that end. I was under the impression med schools only take transfers after second year. If you're talking about just starting over, well obviously you lose a year

I would stay where you are. Assuming these are two MSTPs or bigger MD/PhD programs, there should be plenty of good faculty members to train with. None of those programs are going to limit your potential to be a physician scientist. Focus on just grinding through preclinical and making it to the lab. Understand that your thinking about the programs might change quite a bit over the next seven years

Without knowing more, that's about the best advice I can give

 

[grapp]

Eh, I've identified someone before. Not a poster, but the poster said "I know a guy from 'Y area' who did 'X' and it was specific enough for me to know 100% who he meant.

Alright, best of luck.

 

[Vain Brother]

you're not "at the wrong school" -- you've just got some regrets, which gives you something in common with many of the rest of us. like tony soprano would say, whadda ya gonna do?