I'm Extroverted But I'm Having Trouble Making Close Friends Need Advice

HelpMeOutPlease1

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May 19, 2015
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    Hello,
    The title says it all. Also I'm not here to whine. I want advice on how to make close friends. Anything would be nice. Just to give some background: I am very extroverted and have been for my whole life. Even here on campus I know most people and talk to most of them quite a bit at school and all, but I haven't made any real solid group of friends. Which is very surprising and demoralizing. Nobody actively invites me places with them which is either just people are busy or they don't want to. At this point I feel like it's the latter. been in school for a few months now. I have strong connections from college and my hometown, so i'm very surprised as to why I haven't been able to start the same here.
    Thank you for your time.
     

    FrkyBgStok

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      You have to remember that when you go to college, there are all kinds of people and when you transition to med school, there are incredibly high proportions of introverts, socially awkward, type A people that either don't want friends, or aren't good with friends themselves. Maybe try broadening your horizons. I didn't meet my closest friends until 3rd year when I worked with people outside of my last name letter.
       
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      samac

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        I had one close friend in first year.
        She up and failed out.
        Now it's weird not having someone right there in your corner all the time. I still have other friends, just not close friends.
        I get it as someone who is also extremely extroverted, it's kind of hard and demoralizing.

        But it does get easier. You will have people ya talk to and study with, just maybe not a deep connection. And that's ok. Keep your connections alive outside of medical school. It'll all work out.
         

        OrdinaryDO

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          In my 4 years of college out of state I only made one REAL friend. I am an extrovert, as well, but the deal with me and possibly with you as well is that you find a connection with one very particular person who understands you and you understand them, and you stick with it. I am very picky with who I let into my life, especially when I am judging how close I let them get to me and my personal information. I would just keep doing what you're doing and eventually you will make a friend, naturally, who you will hang out with and bounce ideas off of, etc.
           

          KVBane

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            I'm a streamer so I see my classmates for about 4 or 5 hours in a given week, and thats not the most conducive to making friends. But I know a few people I like, and it doesn't really bother me, because I know that when I start rotating, and start spending more time with people, I'll make more friends. For now, medical school is busy enough, and I have enough friends from before medschool, so it doesnt really bother me too much.
             

            Jinxapotato

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              Hey pal, I would consider myself an introvert...Maybe even a little socially awkward lol. I have made myself 1, maybe 2 close friends in the past year and half. I guess these things just happen when you find someone that really "gets you". This one particular friend finds my often awkward moments quite interesting lol...

              But I feel what you mean, back when I was at my home town, I have this big group of really close buddies to hang out with all the time. As we age though, we became more aware of what exactly we want, and this selectivity is part of why it becomes much harder to make new friends. While you don't mind the "flaws" of your old friends due to old time sake, you may find that same flaw be unbearable with a stranger, and hence why it is much harder to make new close friends.
               

              CLAF211

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                I'm exactly in this situation! Being far from home and my entire social support network without being able to fill the gap in-person has been TOUGH. It's extra awful because studying is kind of inherently "alone time" for me, so not having adequate stores to make up for it during non-study time has been really tough.

                To the OP, I've found that meeting non-med school people has really helped to fill the gap for me recently. I also took a significant time off between college and med school, so I'm used to having my 'work' life and my 'me' life, so I think knowing people outside the med school bubble has been helpful. Maybe try going to a meetup or going on a date or joining a social sports league in your new location?
                 

                HelpMeOutPlease1

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                May 19, 2015
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                  I'm exactly in this situation! Being far from home and my entire social support network without being able to fill the gap in-person has been TOUGH. It's extra awful because studying is kind of inherently "alone time" for me, so not having adequate stores to make up for it during non-study time has been really tough.

                  To the OP, I've found that meeting non-med school people has really helped to fill the gap for me recently. I also took a significant time off between college and med school, so I'm used to having my 'work' life and my 'me' life, so I think knowing people outside the med school bubble has been helpful. Maybe try going to a meetup or going on a date or joining a social sports league in your new location?
                  thanks for the info, sadly I live in a relatively small town and don't really have the opportunity to hang out with people outside of the school. But thank you for you input!
                   
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