I'm on the verge of giving up

[cardzkp]

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Excellent (and true) motivational story I heard yesterday in fact. It's quite a few years old as you can tell by the stereotypes in it.

A young girl had old-school parents who did not want her attending college, but she had aspirations to be a cardiologist. She had no financial backing whatsoever, and her parents weren't about to fund her undergrad because "young Italian girls are supposed to stay at home and become a house-wife." Well, she worked her butt off in high school and got accepted to Princeton undergrad with no scholarship. Her parents were proud, but she took out a loan for every last dollar of those four years. She attended a top-10 MD program I believe (continuing to pile up loans) and is now that cardiologist that she wanted to be.

Moral of the story: No one is going to help you, not even your parents sometimes. Independence is the key to life. You're technically an adult, so you can begin by acting like it and going out and getting what's yours (that MD degree).

 

[TBV]

Ummm, hilarious

I feel like you're the kind of person who wants it both ways. Obviously you wont be able to get to and complete medical school and be a full time caregiver for your parent. Do something else and play the hand you've got. Or go to the Horseshoe and get a new hand hoping you get that money.

 

[dreamadream]

It sounds like you are not taking care of this then - and perhaps the other thing you dont want to mention. Make sure you are playing on an even field before you try to overcome the obstacles. You can't take too much on at once if you aren't taking care of yourself. You sound like I did when I tried to take everything on without being realistic. If you are a student taking care of your sick mom, how could you possibly think of getting a job and doing well in school at the same time? I don't know that much about your particular situation, but you need to do a realistic assessment of your own circumstances and figure out what your next move is.

I have been telling myself this, I will not become a doctor if I cant solve this issue first. I really think that could be the only holding me back. Because a "normal" person would be optimistic about life even if they have a couple of downfalls, This is who I want to become but I'm going to need help and money(its the truth). And I don't want to think of it as doing a realistic assessment on my circumstances because these problems can be solved. My mother has two sons, my mother has parents, my mother has a sister. As harsh as it may sound I'm not the going to be here forever watching her making sure she doesn't bump her head giving me sleepless nights wondering if shes breathing because she has two sons that live here with her also. Am I wrong for wanted to leave this house, I need to experience something outside out this house....that's my problem.

 

[dreamadream]

I feel like you're the kind of person who wants it both ways. Obviously you wont be able to get to and complete medical school and be a full time caregiver for your parent. Do something else and play the hand you've got. Or go to the Horseshoe and get a new hand hoping you get that money.

I'm not a caregiver. My mother function well, she doesn't wear a helmet but she's on a lot of medication for her epilepsy. She has two sons in here that can help out. I tell them all the time if shes seizes put her on her side, call 911 if she bumps her head etc, they are smart enough. My mother has seizures where she stares off into space but sometimes, not often she passes out from them, so she needs a watchful eye from time to time not all the time.

 

[ZedsDed]

You telling me to stop b*tching is something I hear mostly everyday.

And yet you refuse to listen.

Wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere. There are many people out there who have it exponentially worse than you do and yet they still manage to succeed.

And it's quite ironic how you simultaneously bitch about how no one cares about your daily struggle and dismiss your family's issues as "not your problem."

 

[dreamadream]

Excellent (and true) motivational story I heard yesterday in fact. It's quite a few years old as you can tell by the stereotypes in it.

A young girl had old-school parents who did not want her attending college, but she had aspirations to be a cardiologist. She had no financial backing whatsoever, and her parents weren't about to fund her undergrad because "young Italian girls are supposed to stay at home and become a house-wife." Well, she worked her butt off in high school and got accepted to Princeton undergrad with no scholarship. Her parents were proud, but she took out a loan for every last dollar of those four years. She attended a top-10 MD program I believe (continuing to pile up loans) and is now that cardiologist that she wanted to be.

Moral of the story: No one is going to help you, not even your parents sometimes. Independence is the key to life. You're technically an adult, so you can begin by acting like it and going out and getting what's yours (that MD degree).

Good story, but I wish it was one of those stories with a person that grew up in poverty in a single household, that didn't get into a good school because that person was not taught that education is a value.

 

[dreamadream]

...

 

[ZedsDed]

No one cares because they don't understand, just like you are. I was neglected as a child so I'm messed up from it. If I feel like no one cares then that's just how I feel. Everybody in my damn family grew up with two parents and all I could think about is how life would or could have been if I had two of my parents. Thank you.

No one cares because no one likes a martyr. I'm sorry, but there is nothing extraordinary about the circumstances you have described. Tough? Sure. But it sounds like what you need more than anything else is a counselor who can help you work through this.

 

[dreamadream]

No one cares because no one likes a martyr. I'm sorry, but there is nothing extraordinary about the circumstances you have described. Tough? Sure. But it sounds like what you need more than anything else is a counselor who can help you work through this.

Sounds legit

 

[thatwouldbeanarchy]

if you have an internet connection you're not living in poverty

Seriously? You have no understanding of poverty and, frankly, that scares me.

 

[deleted642188]

OP

I don't know about your school but have you considered working for your university's cafeteria? I know that a lot of position require no skills. I know you want something that is clinical but working there is the least you can do. And also being promoted to student manager also pays 10.50/hr. I know you think that you've been set up for failure but there are people who come from rich families who will start med schools as "hags" and "geezers." during my interview I was the only person who wasn't an Ivy Leaguer, was younger than the age of 26 - I am 20 years old - and the only person who was still an undergraduate

You might think that going to a generic state school is a deathwish but many of those non-trads had to take gap years because the curve at their institutions just shat on them and made them feel so bad that a handful admitted yo me that they wished they had went to their local state school and stayed the big fish. The point is, OP, what happened will work out despite the ass-hattery you're currently facing....

It may not seem like that... but pray that you be stronger, not that life be easier

GL OP

 

[dreamadream]

OP

I don't know about your school but have you considered working for your university's cafeteria? I know that a lot of position require no skills. I know you want something that is clinical but working there is the least you can do. And also being promoted to student manager also pays 10.50/hr. I know you think that you've been set up for failure but there are people who come from rich families who will start med schools as "hags" and "geezers." during my interview I was the only person who wasn't an Ivy Leaguer and they were at least 26; I was the only person who was still an undergraduate.

You might think that going to a generic state school is a deathwish but many of those non-trads had to take gap years becsuse the curve at their institutes just shat on them and made them feel so bad that a handful admitted yo me that they wished they had went to their local state school and stayed the big fish. The point is, OP, what happened will work out despite the ass-hattery you're currently facing....

It may not seem like that... but pray that you be stronger, not that life be easier

GL OP

I don't mind working at a place that not clinical. I had a job interview for utility/dishwasher today but I told my ride to turn back around because I didn't notice that the job was that far. There is no public transportation out there so I would have to catch a cab but I don't have money for it. So that's the 3rd job this month that went no where for me.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

I would talk to the financial aid office and look for your options

 

[aalamruad]

dont mind the haters bro, PM me if you want real answers

Who's hating? Have you actually read through this thread? People are giving this guy genuine advice and feedback, and he consistently fails to absorb any of it.

 

[deleted642188]

I don't mind working at a place that not clinical. I had a job interview for utility/dishwasher today but I told my ride to turn back around because I didn't notice that the job was that far. There is no public transportation out there so I would have to catch a cab but I don't have money for it. So that's the 3rd job this month that went no where for me.

Is it possible to to have a job on campus?

Surely, your university has need for dishwashers or janitors?

Edit: just saw your post that tomorrow is your b day. Happy early b day

 

[Terry Toma]

dont mind the haters bro, PM me if you want real answers

Throwing a pity party for the OP won't help anyone. People are giving him advice. Not sure what more you think we should be doing.

 

[Affiche]

Sorry to tell you this but there is little hope for you. You have no vision, drive and passion if you hear this everyday and still not doing anything else except b*tching...

Please stop making these kinds of comments. They are unhelpful to the OP and quite frankly just presumptuous and rude.

 

[Citygirl44]

Advertise yourself as a tutor. If you're premed, you can probably tutor at least a handful of classes. And if you're truly starving, buy big bags of rice. Cheapest calories

And ramen noodles. My parents ( both poor throughout college) literally survived on this. They come from similar circumstances.

 

[Dr.Smexy]

Please stop making these kinds of comments. They are unhelpful to the OP and quite frankly just presumptuous and rude.

Nope, I'm stating my opinion whether you agree with it or not. I also have indeed provided suggestions and advice to the OP. You can ignore my comment if you dislike it.

 

[Krabbeman]

I think people can give all sorts of logical advice here. But OP, there's no magical thing to help you. I myself grew up in poverty! Neither parent went to college, only 1 finished HS actually. And I am the oldest of 5 siblings. For our household size, we lived at around 50% of the poverty line, which actually is considered living in "deep poverty". Btw, whoever said if you have internet connection, you aren't living in poverty is ignorant.

Honestly, I totally get you man. I felt, such burning anger at life and privileged people my whole life. Its not fair. Its not. But you can't change that. The only thing you can change is how hard you work. I'm sorry. But I worked full time thru my undergrad to support my family, and it was near impossible. I went a night a week at least with no sleep because I was working over night shifts at the local pharmacy. This is all gonna sound like I'm bragging, but I'm not at all. I swear. I am graduating this yr with a (current) 3.99gpa, and just got into Pritzker SOM with a full ride.

All I mean to say is this. Anything is possible. And the only thing limiting what you can achieve is yourself. Your route to Medicine is going to be a billion times more meritorious than most of our peers. But it isn't their fault either ya know. I think that you need to realize this. And turn this anger into an engine, like I did. I was so angry. But that is what made me keep going when I was taking full time classes, working close to (at times actually) full time hours, and trying to volunteer and work in a lab. Dude... I was going CONSTANTLY. Nonstop. I was exhausted, every second of every day. But I'm telling you, unless you want to succeed more than you want to eat, or sleep, or breath, or anything else, people in our position can't succeed. Internalize your anger, and turn it into fuel for your fire. Think about the lives you are going to change. Not might change, GOING to change. This is the only thing that will help you. there's no answer, no little cheat, that anyone on SDN can give you to help you OP. You need to find your inner beast.

Its weird, I don't know you, and I don't even know if your circumstance is real, or if your making it up, but I believe in you so much. I want you to succeed, and I hope you really try to find that motivation that I tried my best to describe. best of luck, and PM me whenever.

 

[aalamruad]

Please stop making these kinds of comments. They are unhelpful to the OP and quite frankly just presumptuous and rude.

@Dr.Smexy posted that after first posting a very helpful and well thought out post about taking out loans, prioritizing school, and improving his attitude about the financial situation he's in, to which OP responded with nothing but a correction regarding his age and birthday. Read the full thread thoroughly before calling people out about not being helpful.

 

[Citygirl44]

Nope, I'm stating my opinion whether you agree with it or not. I also have indeed provided suggestions and advice to the OP. You can ignore my comment if you dislike it.

Not trying to be funny at all. Maybe you should watch the movie Pursuit of Happyness starring Will Smith. True story. Sometimes when I watch it I'm like OMG, this is what you call a " real" problem. Don't mean to sound corny. Lol

 

[Dr.Smexy]

Not trying to be funny at all. Maybe you should watch the movie Pursuit of Happyness starring Will Smith. True story. Sometimes when I watch it I'm like OMG, this is what you call a " real" problem. Don't mean to sound corny. Lol

Watched it a long time ago. Great movie actually...I was hopeful at that time that Jaden Smith will turned out to be a great kid and decent actor. Life is always surprising...I'm telling you.

 

[Citygirl44]

Watched a long time ago. Great movie actually...I was hopeful at that time that Jaden Smith will turned out to be a great kid and decent actor. Life is always surprising...I'm telling you.

Sorry that Movie mention was for the person who started the thread, not you. I was trying to offer them hope. Lol

 

[Affiche]

Nope, I'm stating my opinion whether you agree with it or not. I also have indeed provided suggestions and advice to the OP. You can ignore my comment if you dislike it.

"There is little hope for you" wasn't stated as your opinion, it was stated as if the OP is actually in a hopeless situation, which he/she obviously isn't.

@Dr.Smexy posted that after first posting a very helpful and well thought out post about taking out loans, prioritizing school, and improving his attitude about the financial situation he's in, to which OP responded with nothing but a correction regarding his age and birthday. Read the full thread thoroughly before calling people out about not being helpful.

One common-sense post that reiterates the suggestions of other posters (my post included) doesn't vindicate his other posts that are rude a presumptuous. Nice try, though.

Pre-allo is going to the dogs these days 🙄

 

[Dr.Smexy]

"There is little hope for you" wasn't stated as your opinion, it was stated as if the OP is actually in a hopeless situation, which he/she obviously isn't.

One common-sense post that reiterates the suggestions of other posters doesn't vindicate his other posts that are rude a presumptuous, nice try though.

Pre-allo is going to the dogs these days.

You are the prime example of the "social justice" keyboard warrior on SDN who choose to get offended with statements that are not flowery, overly optimistic and politically correct post. You don't even understand what an "opinion" is...How is telling her that I think she has little hope not the same as stating an opinion? I did not read your post in this thread and don't give a crap if we're telling her the same thing. My advice is from personal experience on how I made it into medical school with poverty tagging along. Pre-allo is becoming less and less helpful with the attitude that you give off...real problems can't be solved with puppy-love and cheerleader attitude.

 

[aalamruad]

"There is little hope for you" wasn't stated as your opinion, it was stated as if the OP is actually in a hopeless situation, which he/she obviously isn't.

One common-sense post that reiterates the suggestions of other posters (my post included) doesn't vindicate his other posts that are rude a presumptuous. Nice try, though.

Pre-allo is going to the dogs these days 🙄

It wasn't Dr.Smexy's common-sense post that vindicated a "rude" follow-up, it was OP's response - which clearly demonstrated complete disregard for any attempts at helping him - that showed how futile it is to offer advice to someone who's just going to whine and self-loathe, with no real attempts at hard work and an utter lack of resilience.

 

[Glazedonutlove]

@dreamadream ignore the useless bickering on this thread and listen to @Krabbeman above

 

[El-Rami]

Not to be harsh, but if you have an internet connection you're not living in poverty. A minuscule budget is stressful as hell, and you definitely have my sympathy for that, but why is that a reason to give up? What will giving up get you?

Poor people still get Internet. That's like saying poor people do not deserve refrigerators if they are so poor in the first place. You can argue about living within one's own means, but that doesn't mean that people living in poverty don't forgo decent quality food and other basics just so they can own a cell phone or get the cheapest available Internet service for a second-hand computer.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but it sounded a bit judgmental. For anyone with family or friends living in abject poverty, these kind of statements get fairly irritating. It comes across as "Poor people do not deserve basic 21st Century amenities" when in reality technology is becoming cheaper and affordable even for people living in poverty in "Third World" countries.

 

[Affiche]

You are the prime example of the "social justice" keyboard warrior on SDN who choose to get offended with statements that are not flowery, overly optimistic and politically correct post. You don't even understand what an "opinion" is...How is telling her that I think she has little hope not the same as stating an opinion? I did not read your post in this thread and don't give a crap if we're telling her the same thing. My advice is from personal experience on how I made it into medical school with poverty tagging along. Pre-allo is becoming less and less helpful with the attitude that you give off...real problems can't be solved with puppy-love and cheerleader attitude.

Whateva dude

 

[jd989898]

Sorry for my comment on poverty. I was ignorant to the fact that the word "poverty" could be assumed to mean relative poverty, rather than absolute poverty colloquially. Actually just checked the national relative poverty line and it turns out I'm living in poverty as well lol..

 

[Dr.Smexy]

Whateva dude

Lol yeah that's exactly what I expect from you. Have a nice day🙂

 

[Goro]

Joining the military and serving your country is always an option.

This household makes less than $15000 a year so I am in poverty, I am using free wifi. I want to give up because I was set out to go to a job interview, but mid way through my ride I realized how far it was and I can't afford to pay money to get back and forth to that job. I needed that job to pay for tuition and college application(I am applying as a transfer student in January for Fall 2016) and that was my last hope. But if I was to go to that job I would only be working to get myself back and forth to the job, you get what I'm saying????

 

[Affiche]

Lol yeah that's exactly what I expect from you. Have a nice day🙂

Ah, so you're used to people dismissing your ridiculousness 😛
It's pretty pitiful when you don't see how "you're a lost cause" and "there's little hope for you" can be more harmful than helpful. But whatevs, you've read a few posts by the OP so that justifies your making posts as if your opinions are indisputable truths.

@dreamadream I'll respond in PM.

 

[El-Rami]

Sorry for my comment on poverty. I was ignorant to the fact that the word "poverty" could be assumed to mean relative poverty, rather than absolute poverty colloquially. Actually just checked the national relative poverty line and it turns out I'm living in poverty as well lol..

Don't worry about it. I just get on a soap box when people discuss poverty. In fact, one of my motivations to pursue a career in medicine is to help the poor. I've known people who refuse medical treatment because they do not want to accrue medical debt. One person passed away because they were so afraid to get debt that they wouldn't be able to pay back. It's really sad.

As for the OP, I have to agree with what a lot of people have suggested. You need to get control of your anxiety, self-doubt, and get some sort of income coming in before you can worry about a career in medicine. I have known people personally who were impoverished and decided to join the military. The military pays well, and the military will give you a scholarship for college once you complete your service. Everyone loves vets, and that can only add to your favor when you eventually apply for med school.

 

[Affiche]

You need to get control of your anxiety, self-doubt

QFT. The only way you're going to come out of this is by having enough confidence in yourself to keep advocating for yourself, no matter what. No one else is going to be your advocate. Don't let people walk over you or tell you that you can't do something, because that's bull****. Keep going and keep your head up.

 

[Citygirl44]

I strongly wanted to go into med school my graduation year(2018). I don't let poverty affect my school, but sometimes it's hard when my stomach growls in class, it takes the focus off of what is being learned and more of the embarrassment of me being hungry, I'm starting to lose my muscle and my belly is starting to sit out.

Is this for real?

 

[Dr.Smexy]

Ah, so you're used to people dismissing your ridiculousness 😛
It's pretty pitiful when you don't see how "you're a lost cause" and "there's little hope for you" can be more harmful than helpful. But whatevs, you've read a few posts by the OP so that justifies your making posts as if your opinions are indisputable truths.

@dreamadream I'll respond in PM.

The more you post the less intelligent you appear to be...I hope it is just because you're not very good at reading online posts and actually is a bright person in real life. If you can't see why I said what I said due to the response of the OP to my posts then yeah you have my pity. You first said that my post wasn't an opinion and now trying to put words in my mouth and say my now "opinions" are indisputable truths. Just don't quote me anymore, you not really doing yourself any favor. Post your so "helpful" comments for the OP instead, I'm sure that what you want.

 

[SOMBound13]

worse". I am trying to get my bachelors degree in silence because I want my family to be surprised

What? Your family doesnt't know that you're going to school? That means that you're not submitting FAFSA and getting a Pell Grant and other aid.

Do you really think it's more important to keep this secret (and give up!), than tell them, get aid, and meet your goal.

Get FAFSA submitted NOW for the current school year.

 

[Affiche]

The more you post the less intelligent you appear to be...I hope it is just because you're not very good at reading online posts and actually is a bright person in real life. If you can't see why I said what I said due to the response of the OP to my posts then yeah you have my pity. You first said that my post wasn't an opinion and now trying to put words in my mouth and say my now "opinions" are indisputable truths. Just don't quote me anymore, you not really doing yourself any favor. Post your so "helpful" comments for the OP instead, I'm sure that what you want.

You're misunderstanding my first reply to you. There was never an issue of fact vs. opinion, there was an issue with me stating that "you're a lost cause" is different from "well, imho I think you're a lost cause". Someone with low self-esteem receives both poorly, but the former risks being interpreted as a universal truth. It can be hurtful, regardless of why you said it. I understand why you got frustrated with the OP and made the comment, but that doesn't make it less harmful. Now that that's explained, I know you like to have the last word in so I expect you'll continue to be argumentative for the sake of being argumentative.

 

[aalamruad]

What? Your family doesnt't kow that you're going to school? That means that you're not submitting FAFSA and getting a Pell Grant and other aid.

Do you really think it's more important to keep this secret (and give up!), than tell them, get aid, and meet your goal.

Get FAFSA submitted NOW for the current school year.

I'm starting to think OP is a troll with posts as crazy as that

 

[Krabbeman]

 

[MrLogan13]

Joining the military and serving your country is always an option.

This, if that's something you'd consider.

I lost both my parents at a young age and didn't have much growing up as well, and was going nowhere after HS. Joined the Army and remade myself, using the GI Bill after I got out to fund my undergraduate and graduate education. Almost anything is possible when you are willing.

 

[deleted642188]

What? Your family doesnt't know that you're going to school? That means that you're not submitting FAFSA and getting a Pell Grant and other aid.

Do you really think it's more important to keep this secret (and give up!), than tell them, get aid, and meet your goal.

Get FAFSA submitted NOW for the current school year.

+1 but I try to give prople the benefit of the doubt....

 

[Gibbward]

I'd like to emphasize to that you can apply to be a dorm RA. You don't have to be living in a dorm right now to apply to be one. You can also get ANY job around campus, dishwasher, janitor, bussing tables, work as a secretary for someone, etc. You'll get free housing close to your school as an RA, and then so you don't have to worry about transportation for school or work. Really consider this especially if someone else can take care of your mom. Plus, being an RA can also be a good leadership EC!

Also, get your schooling all settled first before even thinking about getting clinical experience. You won't get into medical school despite 10000000 hours of clinical work if you don't get your degree and get good grades.

 

[txplcoord]

As far as clinical experience, everywhere I try to apply for needs a CPR certification or medical terminology or 6 months in a healthcare.

Are you still in Baltimore? You can volunteer at the University of Maryland Medical Center with no certifications/classes.

 

[SOMBound13]

+1 but I try to give prople the benefit of the doubt....

This isn't really a question of giving someone the benefit of the doubt. This is a situation where the OP can't see the forest thru the trees. She's got tunnel-vision going on. If she's not applying for aid because she wants to surprise her family with a degree, AND she's unable to earn the $$ to continue, then she's not making wise decisions.

 

[banthapug]

It sounds like you are doing a lot of stuff to "surprise" your family - perhaps you are doing this to win their approval? I don't think that's a good reason to do anything. You should complete college because it's important to YOU. If keeping it a secret is adding more unnecessary difficulties, then tell them! It has nothing to do with them - it's your life!

I hear a lot of self doubt. You returned home even without completing your interview - you already had decided that job wasn't going to work out before even trying! You only deserve what you allow yourself to have. Life is hard, and it always will be - but you can get better at dealing with life, and that can only come with practice. You deserve a job, and you deserve a bachelor's degree. Let you work on yourself. Next time, go to a job interview regardless of the logistics involved in it. If you get the job, THEN worry about the logistics. You miss every shot you don't take. You can give up on your mom, your boss, or on your career... but do NOT give up on yourself!

 

[Sionican]

its a long stressful journey but trust me its worth it if you can stomach the path

 

[SOMBound13]

Some of your story isn't hanging together.

You said that you're keeping your education a secret to surprise your family, but in another post you indicate that you get grants to pay for college. That suggests that you did file FAFSA. how did you do that w/o your mom knowing?

What does your family think you're doing while you're in school??

You mention that you commute to college, but you also say that your remote area has no public transportation, so how do you get to school?

If you can get to school, then why can't you get a job either on campus or somewhere between campus and home?

Your low income would certainly qualify for work study, but either you weren't awarded it because the school ran out, or you indicated on your FAFSA that you didn't want it.

I don't know what you mean by saying that you can't afford loans. You wouldn't be paying them back now. You'd pay them back after you graduate. A portion of your loans would be subsidized. At a minimum, take those.