dear jamba juice girl at the irvine location next to my work,
will you marry me? i was the asian guy who came in last night around 8pm. i tried to use that buy one get one free coupon that my friend got off the internet. you said i couldnt use it but i didn't mind. rejection never hurt so good.
but first please please tell me you're at least 18. when i walked in the store i thought it was cute how 3 of your guy friends came in to visit you at work. i thought it was so sweet how you gave one of them a hug before they left. never mind that you had to slightly bend over to give that hug cuz he was shorter than you. but it's not becuase you guys are at the age where girls are growing up faster than guys, is it? please tell me that was your little brother and his friends.
don't mind the 2 girls that came in with me; they are just friends. in fact mina, who was coincidentally the one who gave me the illegal coupon, thought you were incredibly cute too. you should be flattered. for the next hour all she could talk about was how she wished she was young and pretty again so she could work at jamba juice and have friends (i mean little brother and his friends) visit her at work. but if you're the jealous type i promise i won't talk to them again. ever.
you might have noticed i had a hard time ordering. that was because i found it hard to look at the menu with your eyes hypnotizing me with your deep gaze. has anyone told you that you have a face that could launch a thousand ships? if you don't know what i'm talking about wait till senior year when you start studying mythology and read about helen of troy. i mean, that is unless you're a freshman at UC Irvine majoring in mythology. then of course you'll get the reference (right?).
so do you need a dashing young man in your life? or how about a private tutor? i can help you study for your SAT's. but if you say PSAT's i am going to jump out this window.
