OK, Ima do it… (And this is the last time I’ll hijack this thread for my nefarious plans, I promise.) This is for
@Goro.
HomeSkool and The Mrs. Visit India, the UK, and France
I had another non-medical conference to attend in Mumbai this past September. Somehow, I convinced my wife to go along with me (OK, so that's the second dumb thing she's done since we met, but that's it, I promise). The conference ran from Thursday evening through Sunday afternoon, at which point we had decided to travel to the Darjeeling/Gangtok area. You must understand, visiting that part of the world has been on my bucket list FOREVER. I booked our air travel in May, and my wife coordinated the Darjeeling/Gangtok portion of our trip with an Indian travel agency. Our plan was to fly to Mumbai on September 12, proceed to Darjeeling on the 18th, and go home on the 22nd. Now, we assumed that if anything happened in India that would make part of our trip unsafe – say, political unrest around Darjeeling all summer long – the tourism company would alert us. We were wrong. It would normally take five or six people to be as wrong as we were.
September 5
We had already paid most of the money we owed to the tourism company, and my wife contacted them to make our final payment. She got the following message in response:
I would like to inform you due to some internal problem between local people in Darjeeling strike is going on for paste many days and traveler are effected in it, But final decision will come on 12 September on strike.
So will keep you updated on situation and for payment please hold for couple of more days.
Obviously, we did a little research. It seems there had been protests and strikes in the region since June, ultimately requiring the Indian military to evacuate tourists who got stranded there when all the services shut down. By September, the only things still open were the hospitals and pharmacies. That’s right: the
hotels were closed. And the September 12 “final decision”? That was actually the date of the next sit-down between the protesters and the government –
not the date on which things would be back to normal.
So we discussed what to do. My wife said, “We don't have to stay in India after your conference. We could go wherever we want – London, Paris, you name it.” Knowing that she’d been a little bit shaken by the whole thing, I said, “Let’s go to London.” So I called Expedia to change our travel arrangements. And they informed me that Air India would charge us a $400 fee
per ticket to change our flights. I explained that the hotels were all closed, and surely there was some sort of exception for cases of political unrest. The lady at Expedia said that yes, there was, and the airline was offering free cancellation of trips departing by September 8. So we had to eat $800 just for the privilege of not going to a warzone.
There was also the matter of the travel company. We wrote and requested a refund of our money, gently chastising the company for even booking our trip at a time when protests were ongoing (we booked with them in July). We got the following response:
Since you are coming to India and flights are booked, I would request you to kindly change your plan from Darjeeling to any other destination and we can arrange alternative trip for you.
In case of cancellation company cancellation policy will be applicable
The policy stipulated that we would only get 50% of our money back for canceling so late. So we dropped the hammer: we wrote back reminding them that they had a contract with us to provide a vacation in that area – a contract that they couldn’t possibly honor – and that their failure to refund us would be taken as a sign of bad faith. We also hinted that we’d throw around the name of their company in negative online reviews. But we also dangled an olive branch: if they refunded our money, they’d be the first company we’d consider the next time we visited the country. Presented with these options, they decided to do the right thing.
September 6-11
Hurricane Irma came at the US mainland, and the remnants of the storm looked like they might wreak havoc with our travel. Fortunately, the hurricane's remnants passed by our departure airport on September 11, leaving our departure date clear. But that totally would have been just my luck.
September 12
We were scheduled to depart at 6:50 pm flying with American Airlines to London, then onward to Mumbai with British Airways. We drove to the airport and got to our gate without trouble. But it could never be that simple, could it? Let the delays begin…
American’s rep came over the PA system and announced that our flight would be delayed. Then he did it again. And again. They were changing a tire on our aircraft. It took hours. The following is the list of departure times announced for our flight:
- 6:50
- 7:30
- 8:15
- 8:30
- 8:45
- 8:55
- 9:10
It soon became obvious we’d miss our connecting flight. British Airways has two flights from London to Mumbai every day, and we were scheduled for the one departing at 10:05 am. My wife called the airline and got us switched to the 9:25 pm flight. I e-mailed our hotel in Mumbai and asked them to drop the first night of our reservation. They responded that the hotel had no vacancy, so we’d have to pay for the first night’s stay even though we’d spend the night in airplane seats. FML all over again.
We eventually got off the ground, and at least they'd got the tire changed correctly, even if it did take them three hours.
September 13
We arrived in London and got our bearings. An airline representative told us we needed to collect our bags, then recheck them in order to make the switch from one airline to another. That sounded odd – I’d never heard of such a thing before – but hey, we figured, these people drink their beer
warm; who knows what other insane things they do? So we arrived at baggage claim, but our bags did not. We went to the British Airways customer service desk to find out what was going on.
The customer “service” lady was unhelpful. “You’re wrong. You’re not on the 9:25 flight tonight, you’re supposed to be on the Air India flight departing in 35 minutes.”
“No, we’re not.”
“Yes, you are. Next!”
So I used my imagination to make a voodoo doll of that lady and stick pins in it, then went to the American Airlines desk. This lady actually
was helpful. She explained that the airline had taken it upon themselves to switch us to another airline to connect us through to Mumbai with only a one-hour delay relative to our initial itinerary. Sadly, they had neglected to tell us this, and the flight was departing from another terminal. She apologized for the confusion and gave us some meal vouchers.
We spent the day napping at Heathrow before flying out that night. So hooray, our one overnight flight turned into two! Just like South Africa! At least I’m consistent.
September 14
We arrived in India. Surprising exactly no one, our bags didn't. They were still in London (surely you all saw
that one coming). At least we had our carry-ons. At our hotel, one of my friends whom I’d seen in South Africa said, “Well, you were delayed a bit, but at least they didn’t lose your bags this time!” “Yes, they did,” I replied. She LOL'd. Then she saw that I wasn’t kidding. “Holy cow, how unlucky can you be?”
At this point, I’m convinced it’s more than just bad luck. It’s more like God uses my travel plans to do the cosmic equivalent of poking me in the ribs with a stick.
September 15
Our luggage arrived! Mine looked great. My wife's, not so much. They had broken one of the telescoping tow bars from the handle and nearly ripped off the top handle. Worse, they had spilled some truly foul liquid all over it. The best way to describe the smell is “skunk milk curdled into rancid yogurt in the belly of Satan himself.” You should all be really grateful I can’t transmit smells over the internet, because I’d totally do it just to make you suffer with me.
September 18
We flew to London, and the plane didn’t crash! And I learned that Iran doesn't look quite as crazy from 40,000 feet.
September 20
We took the Eurostar (AKA the Chunnel train) to Paris for the day. On our way out, I was chatting with the people across from us when my wife leaned over and said, “You gonna go?”
“Am I gonna go where?”
“They just called for a doctor.”
I didn’t believe her. She was serious. So I went. Another passenger had slipped when the train jolted, struck his head on the wall, and got knocked senseless. I checked him out together with an EMT and a nurse. The Eurostar's first aid kit was pathetic: just gauze, no BP cuff, no glucometer, no stethoscope. I told them they needed to address that.
I mention this experience as a warning. The mode of transportation doesn’t matter: if you travel with me, my karma will find you, and it will smite you.
September 23
We flew home. En route, I found that my seatback monitor wasn’t working. A flight attendant tried rebooting it, but that didn’t help. So without my permission, she took remote control of my monitor and pushed a movie to it with which I was unfamiliar. About 30 seconds in, my screen displayed a topless woman (not censored, not blurred, on a flight where kids could see it). I hit the power button, only to find it wasn’t working. So I got up, found a flight attendant, and told her I wanted my monitor turned off immediately. It took her five minutes to turn it off. During that time, the movie showed full frontal nudity.
Well, that was that last straw, and when we got home I wrote a letter complaining to American Airlines – the first complaint letter I’ve ever sent an airline. Specifically, I mentioned the delays to our first flight that caused me to pay for a hotel night that I didn’t get to enjoy, the destruction of my wife’s suitcase (because that’s what it was: property destruction), and the pushing of objectionable content to my monitor by one of their employees. I asked them for $500 of restitution: $250 in cash to compensate me for the hotel and suitcase; and $250 in vouchers for their overall ineptitude, poor judgment, and *******ery. They responded by giving me vouchers worth $600. So it wasn’t all bad.
So thanks for letting me hijack this thread a little bit (like you had a choice). I feel a lot better now. That’s the last travel story I’ll share, mainly because it’s the last time I traveled so I don’t have any more (yet). I’ll make a new thread warning you the next time I go anywhere.