Hi,
I want to thank anyone who sees this for taking their time for everyone on this site. I remember looking here back in high school and got great advice and learned a lot about the process. It is amazing how many thousands of people you have guided through your work on SDN alone.
Unfortunately for me, knowing is not doing!
I apologize for the length of my post, I'll try to keep it concise.
I messed up undergrad. 2.9 Composite, 2.7 Science. I was immature and severely depressed. I took a semester of W's and expressed poor judgement in doing the same thing the next semester.. I went from being lively, working out 5 times a week for 4+ years, other hobbies, etc. to not leaving bed for very long each day. Things were bad, and I wasn't equipped to handle it. I ended up graduating in 5 years with a BS in neuroscience (along with several retakes, Ws and a few C's - 1 F, including in pre-reqs)
Once the depression/personal issues came up in year 2, I was coasting through life/school, doing the minimum to get by. I had no ambition or goals, just to graduate. I did continue to work as an ABA therapist through 4 years of school, and planned to get a job doing something unrelated to my degree where my GPA wouldn't be a problem. It pains me to write, and for a long time it paralyzed me from taking any action. When I finally realized how I was throwing my life away and had wasted an incredible opportunity, I thought long and hard about what I wanted (medicine). I had talked myself out of it for years, and I believe I used my poor mental health combined with poor work ethic as an excuse to self-sabotage things further. I talked to advisors/professors/adcoms at my school, and received mixed feedback (as expected). Some encouraged me, some tried to encourage other routes. Ultimately I was pretty insistent on giving it a shot if there was I thought a successful few years could make me a competitive applicant.
I was very fortunate to have no debt from undergrad, thanks to scholarships, money saved from work in highschool/working in undergrad and a contribution from my parents. I strongly preferred not to take out loans to pay for classes and dig myself an even bigger hole. So I got a job as a medical assistant at my university which allows full time employees to take 10 credits/semester for free. I figured this would be great for my app as well, as it would result in thousands of hours of clinical experience. I had Ochem and Physics left as far as premed classes.
Since graduating I have taken-
O chem I, II (10 cr)
Ochem Lab I, II (4 cr)
Physics I, II (10 cr)
For GPA of ~3.9 in the 24 credits of 'DIY Postbac', all while working full time as a medical assistant.
I know I never would have been half as motivated without all of the failure I had experienced. I can't explain how proud I am of my progress because I had been so 'passive' about my failure for so long. Most of the W's I had were from classes I never even showed up to. The C's were classes I would study for a max 2 days before the exam (only showing up on exam days). It feels so good to be actually doing the work. Of course, I think about what could have been sometimes, but I have finally learned and truly believe it to have been something that needed to happen in order for me to ever get my life together. I feel I should add I have learned to manage depression quite well with no medications and occasional therapy, after years of trying a combination of both. Of course, lifestyle changes have made a huge difference as well, especially exercising regularly.
I took a summer to study for the MCAT, I was fortunate my parents let me live with them so I didn't have to work. I studied for 12 weeks and managed a 515.
My plan is (was?) to take ~20-25 more credits over the next year while continuing to rack up my clinical hours.
Assuming I could continue my 3.9 from the first 24 credits, that would be ~50 credits of post-bac "high level" science with a 3.9. Obviously, the issue is that this still only brings my cgpa to 3.2. and sgpa to 3.1. Professors have been mostly receptive to my goal and work, but recently I spoke to a different professor who bluntly dismissed any chance of me making it to med school. I was taken aback a little, but I would prefer honest opinions and the hard truth if I am deluding myself.
So
I would be sitting around a 3.2 cgpa and 3.1 sgpa total (8? W's)
~50 credits of post bac science (3.9) completed while working full time as medical assistant
2 years working full time as medical assistant > 3500 hrs
4 years experience ABA therapist >2000 hrs
Hundreds of volunteer hours, clinical and non-clinical
~100 hrs shadowing total, from 2 different docs (No DO at this point)
Strong LORs from faculty who are aware of my academic history and goals
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I completely understand that my weak history is my own doing and I take full responsibility. It weighed me down for years. I am hoping to prove that I am a different person. That I was lost, young and struggling but will never go back to that person. I also understand that there are consequences to our actions.
Are my efforts futile or misguided? I would like to know if I am chasing a pipe dream. I want the hard truth if I am simply deluding myself into thinking I can still have a worthwhile shot at making it into med school. I know I would find success in something else, but I'm not sure I would be as satisfied.
My conviction is strong, but I also don't want to be ignorant. It would be hard for me give up now, but I have already proven a lot to myself and would rather put my efforts into another area if that is more realistic.
Any Chance at MD? DO?
Would you say I have to do an SMP after the postbac work? I am hesitant to do that only because of the extreme expense compared to the free classes I am currently taking.
Thank you for your time and feedback, I really appreciate it. You are truly giving me invaluable information about my future.
