Letting programs know about plan to uncouple from couples match

[datpremedgirl]

Any thoughts on whether or not I should let programs know that I’m deciding to uncouple? Had a long discussion with my SO and I know this may not have been the popular opinion for most people, but based on our circumstances, we think it would be best if we did not do the couples match. I’m just worried that places may not have ranked me as highly due to the fact that I was initially couples matching. Or do they not take this into account when they’re making rank lists? Really would like to avoid the awkwardness of emailing programs and telling them I’m no longer couples matching...

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[NotAProgDirector]

Why uncouple? From your post history you're a very competitive candidate. WHy would you think that programs will rank you lower because you're couple's matching? Couple's matching can't hurt you as long as you're not ranking more than about 15 programs.

 

[datpremedgirl]

Why uncouple? From your post history you're a very competitive candidate. WHy would you think that programs will rank you lower because you're couple's matching? Couple's matching can't hurt you as long as you're not ranking more than about 15 programs.

We just felt like our preferences were too different, and we both wanted to optimize our chances of matching at our top programs given that we are both very academically-driven. I feel that I am also not the best interviewer despite having a strong application on paper, and there were some interviews that I felt did not go so well for me but were the top choices for my partner. We just didn’t want to compromise each other’s chances.

We have done long distance before and are fine with doing it for just a couple years. Also, our top programs are all within the same region, so we are hoping to match in that area

 

[NotAProgDirector]

You should either continue to use the couple's match and just choose combinations including those where you are apart, or not couple's match and just submit separate lists. I wouldn't contact programs, it could easily do more harm than good.

 

[Schwifty]

Why uncouple? From your post history you're a very competitive candidate. WHy would you think that programs will rank you lower because you're couple's matching? Couple's matching can't hurt you as long as you're not ranking more than about 15 programs.

How does couples matching change if you rank more than 15 programs?

 

[Tenk]

Would not email and would probably not uncouples match. More risk in doing that than couples matching imo because people are going to just assume you are breaking up and nobody likes drama. Obviously they won’t ask you that out of being professional but I can guarantee you it has a much higher probability of knocking you down spots than up spots. Programs want stability, not instability. Some programs actually like couples matches if both candidates are good for the support system.

Also, you do realize that when you’re done with residency you’re going to face the exact same problem you’re facing right now only it will be with an attending job instead of residency. Not trying to be rude but you’re looking at residency program selection as way too important compared to the 20-30 year career that comes after it.

 

[deleted480308]

You’re overthinking this and will just look fickle and tempermental.

Leave it alone and just submit the lists you both want to submit

 

[pbrocks15]

If you rank every combination possible, shouldn't it not matter?

You can put your lower preferences father down the list and leave it up to the programs to decide if they ranked you highly or not.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

How does couples matching change if you rank more than 15 programs?

You can run out of ranks. If both partners have 15 programs to rank, the total length of the couple's match rank list is (16*16)-1 = 255. The max length of the list is 300, so that's not a problem. But once you get over 15, it's easy to hit that 300 limit.

In any case, if the OP has decided they really don't want to couple's match (for whatever reason), they should just submit individual rank lists. I wouldn't contact anyone.

 

[mehc012]

Yeah, I don't see why you'd uncouple...just make sure that you include those priorities when you make the list. Rank every combo of OP's #1 choice with the partner's entire rank list (including unmatched, I suppose), then OP's #2, and so on. If there are small adjustments within that (such as the partner's list goes A, B, C, D, but if OP matches into a particular city, it would go A, C, B, D), it's still possible, while it wouldn't be with individual lists.

It makes no sense to include your own interview performance as a factor...rank on where you'd like to go, not on where you think you'll get in.

Basically, like aProgDirector said, unless they've got over 15 spots, it really doesn't hurt them to be coupled, just lets them add nuance. They can choose to prioritize good matches over close matches on a case-by-case basis without doing so on the entire list.

 

[Gos81238ia]

Any thoughts on whether or not I should let programs know that I’m deciding to uncouple? Had a long discussion with my SO and I know this may not have been the popular opinion for most people, but based on our circumstances, we think it would be best if we did not do the couples match. I’m just worried that places may not have ranked me as highly due to the fact that I was initially couples matching. Or do they not take this into account when they’re making rank lists? Really would like to avoid the awkwardness of emailing programs and telling them I’m no longer couples matching...

Few thoughts, and I couples matched so have first hand experience -
1) Not sure programs will rank you any higher if you email them at this stage and tell them you are backing out of couples matching. Seems a little bit like you cant follow through. Plus if a program has such an issue with the sheer fact that you have a partner in medicine, maybe they’re not the program for you?
2) Statistically if you and your partner put down every possible combination including every combo where one of you matches and the other goes unmatched then your chances are identical as if you submitted individual lists. Do not assume that just because most of your programs are in a similar are that you will be close by, I have seen couples be burned like that. The couples ranking is entirely designed to work in your favor.
3)Fun tidbit - do not sit beside each other and click to submit your lists at the exact same time, it messes with their system and the list does not get finalized. ERAS calls it “kissing and clicking” and they have to call all the couples to resubmit if they do this