Lost and Depressed and completely screwed up. Need Advice!

[Roland225]

So I decided to go pre med last year when I was majoring in finance and realized I hated it. Switched to a Bio major for pre med, and ended up getting a B in Bio 1 and C in Chem 1. Overall had a poor/mediocre semester because I just didn't try. That was at a community college and now have transferred over to a 4 year university. I am now in my Junior year with a 3.1 overall GPA and a 2.5 sGPA(Only took 2 science courses) and made my major a computer science major with the pre med focus, I did that so the chance I end up either not wanting to go to medical school or just flat out do poorly, I have a credible major to fall back on.



So this semester, I have experienced a bad break up, my parents are getting divorced (witnessed my father and mother in some serious physical fights and had to get involved). It all has made me depressed and unmotivated in school and have not been able to focus. Recently I realized how I am destroying my academic career and trying to salvage the semester. I'm thinking of switching back to the bio major (or behavioral neuroscience). I am stressing the hell out because I am already super behind in my undergrad with low stats. I need some direction. Any advice will help. Thank you. I'm done making excuses for myself and want to succeed. Is medical school still possible for me?

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[Fennel608]

Hey, no one has answered you yet, so I figured I’d give this a shot.

I say yes, you do. But you should reach out. Get help and support and talk with your professors. Take the MCAT when you are both mentally and emotionally prepared. Consider doing a post bac program or masters degree and add onto your list of extra curriculars and patient contacts. Take your time. The path to med school doesn’t need to be linear and fast and people screw up, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be salvaged. You’re going to have to work hard, but do not feel hopeless. I’d also recommend getting actual support for the issues you’re dealing with and determining how to discuss the obstacles you're facing in an interview format, because you’re going to be asked about them.

I say this as someone who has had the same issues. I took time off, got my mcat score up, and have three interviews behind me already. That doesn’t mean I’m going to get in, but I have a pretty good chance. So do you.

But I also have to ask, why medical school? That was not super clear. If you feel like you have a strong answer and it’s what you REALLY want to do, good. You can get there.

 

[alisdegero]

Dear Lost and Depressed,

I was in an abusive relationship in college. It started exactly as you imagined it would. My boyfriend was incredible to me, at first. He took me on nice dates, became interested in my hobbies, made me feel joy-filled and special, and all the things you feel when you are first falling for someone. The abuse started unobtrusively and steadily. A firm grip here; a shove there; a grab of my chin when I wasn’t giving him my undivided attention. This progressed over months, a couple visits to the clinic, until I realized how detrimental this was to my grades and my health. I suppose you think this story has nothing to do with your question, but it has everything to do with my answer. There are few things more devastating than being a student who believes they are ‘destroying their academic career’. I assure you; you are not alone. Your low school stats are not the end of you. They do, however, mean that you are going to have to work harder in school than you have ever worked before. You will have to make difficult changes, be strong, and possibly take more time than you were expecting.

A relationship ending is always devastating. Although I don’t know the specifics of the breakup, I know that recovery is a similar road for either party. Find a friend or a few. Surround yourself with them. Let yourself be gutted in front of them. Let them pick you up and restore you. Let them show you that you are loved. Don’t be scared that you won’t find someone else. You will. And they will be more even more true for you. Your vulnerability just showed me how incredible you are.

There’s a line by my favorite author that I think is apt here: “Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.” This is what quote comes to mind when I read about your parents fighting. My first advice would be to seek help with a counselor. Typically, a 4-year university provides a certain number of counseling sessions for free. Seek them out. My second tip; advise your parents to also seek counsel. Maybe explaining to them that you are already doing so will be the push they need in also doing so. My last advice; distance yourself from that toxic situation, if at all possible until you can return to them in a more calm and positive light.

Most of all, understand that you are have something to give. No matter what you end up doing. You have been dealt a hand. There is no point in dwelling on what cards you are holding. All you can do is play the hell out of the ones you got.

(quote from Cheryl Strayed aka homegirl)