I have posted a bit on this forum and just found this thread
Im 33 now, but when I was graduating high school I had gotten into a 6 yr MD/BA program. So, no premed classes and no MCATS! Yes, I worked my ass off in high school/during the summers, but I was on the road to a MD at 24.
Half way through medical school, I was a passenger in a jeep that rolled. The indian DD drove some of us home in his jeep had gone around a curve too fast, rolling the jeep.
Ejecting a passenger(who was fine) and leaving the drive and me in comas.
He had his Frontal lobe(mostly) injury and me with my mostly Brain stem injury.
I had to be on a mattress that was able to regulate my temperature,
ventilator, GI tube for about 3-4 weeks.
My friends, fraternity, medical school, all showed me great support,
candle light vigil, the whole nine yards(so I was told) I ended up
being transferred to Barnes Hospital in st louis, then to St Johns
Mercy Coma stimulation program, where I started waking up.
I moved back to school and lived with friends ~7months after waking up.
Since then I've gone back to med school but had to leave 2x due to requiring myectomies making the muscles equal in strength.
I have a brainstem injury, so I have problems breathing while I talk, a sort of dysarthria, and a spastic gait. A catch-22 has been healing, I have continued to regain phyisical abilities as time passes, but this means I never get used to how I am and I always have hope that I'll be what I was before the coma.
This is what finally led me to leave medical school. When else would I have time to attempt to increase my quality of life so much?
After a few years of pure therapy, going around to different places for therapy, buying a Neurotherapy machine and a hyperbaric chamber, I wanted to get back to doing something I can brag about and not just spinning my wheels to slowly make gains, if at all.
My medical school had told me to return, I must apply to their 4 year program, which means I need to do all the pre-reqs I had worked hard to avoid and take the MCAT which I had also had circumvented by getting into the 6 yrd MD/BA program.
So, now I've done the prereqs and now I am going to take the MCATs on 3-24-12
It really sucks ass; I have no friends, as my old "friends" are all MDs and throughout the country, everyone has kids, families, careers, someone special in their lives, while I am trying to just get into medical school.
I've gotten to do a ton of rehab to work on my speech, how I walk, I still can't run properly or jump at all. I wear prism glasses when I get tired and my eye muscles can't compensate for being weak and the world goes double.
I never made any friends in the pre-reqs, because I am disabled and talk/walk differently , so it was hard to get kids, 19-21 to talk to me much plus I had no desire to go and "party". As I did the classes I had avoided before, at the same time I was also doing rehab; remember thats why I left medical school. So, I didnt have time for the few friends/acquaintances I had made. I have a couple of ex-gfs,(none who are in college, or college educated, but its odd to talk to married chicks,...yeah, now they're married and were really just me degrading myself to even associate with them, but I had/have lost most self-esteem. Telling chicks, "oh I was in a coma and I spent years working on walking again, not that you can tell!" doesnt get you laid...often
So I live alone now and I study and workout, still trying to walk correctly, as I can, but I want to walk correctly without thinking, "heel/toe" and I want to talk correctly, still, without having to think about using words that arent multisyllabic so I won't stutter/slur and I can discretely breath to finish my thoughts without sounding like "Stevie" off Malcom in the Middle.
Ive done a lot of stuff to make friends, bring some degree of happiness into my life; irrelevant to list them.
One of the worst parts of all this, besides the obvious downgrade in life, or losing my 20s, the prime of life, etc it's the change in how I'm viewed by others. In [SIZE=-1] the world that judges all of us so harshly that doesn't look for inner beauty, without inspection, I have gone from the far right of the Bell-curve to the middle/left as I get judged on how I walk and talk. Hope is also a bad thing. Had I never had hope to get substantial improvement, I would have never left medical school.
But I did and if I want to go back to medical school, I need a good score on the MCATs.
[/SIZE]I'm near the start of SN2ed's 4-month program and [SIZE=-1]so I'm gonna kick ass, but that doesnt mean I wont think about the meaning of life, a variance of that, or just break down and hate everyone/everything from time to time; it just means I can only do that crap on my break days.
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