Meeting a resident on a dating site

[mumblemumble]

Hi, folks! So, I'm just curious what you all think about this situation.
I'm a MS-II. Last year, I ignored good sense and fell into a relationship with a classmate which ultimately ended with a quiet but unpleasant breakup. I've been single for a while and want to meet people outside of my tiny class. For fun, I made an account on a dating site. And ... I found a match who seems really awesome! (on paper). It seems like we have a ton in common, similar interests/values/love of dogs/etc. Unfortunately, it turns out he's a radiology resident at my hospital.

Anyway, here's my question: With third year just around the corner, do you think that messaging or meeting this guy is a bad idea? I hate the idea of him laughing about 'that crazy med school chick' with colleagues and I definitely don't want to risk my future career. My non-medical school friends think I'm being ridiculous and over thinking things, but I think they don't really understand the resident-student dynamic in the hospital.

I'm not bringing up the issue because I'm super obsessed with this particular guy; I know there are other fish in the sea. But I am curious what other people's thoughts are in general about dating/meeting residents outside of the hospital. Thoughts?

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[Rendar5]

Hi, folks! So, I'm just curious what you all think about this situation.
I'm a MS-II. Last year, I ignored good sense and fell into a relationship with a classmate which ultimately ended with a quiet but unpleasant breakup. I've been single for a while and want to meet people outside of my tiny class. For fun, I made an account on a dating site. And ... I found a match who seems really awesome! (on paper). It seems like we have a ton in common, similar interests/values/love of dogs/etc. Unfortunately, it turns out he's a radiology resident at my hospital.

Anyway, here's my question: With third year just around the corner, do you think that messaging or meeting this guy is a bad idea? I hate the idea of him laughing about 'that crazy med school chick' with colleagues and I definitely don't want to risk my future career. My non-medical school friends think I'm being ridiculous and over thinking things, but I think they don't really understand the resident-student dynamic in the hospital.

I'm not bringing up the issue because I'm super obsessed with this particular guy; I know there are other fish in the sea. But I am curious what other people's thoughts are in general about dating/meeting residents outside of the hospital. Thoughts?

If you will be rotating through his department (with him as a potential resident to deal with), or if you are applying to radiology, then bad idea.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

Hi, folks! So, I'm just curious what you all think about this situation.
I'm a MS-II. Last year, I ignored good sense and fell into a relationship with a classmate which ultimately ended with a quiet but unpleasant breakup. I've been single for a while and want to meet people outside of my tiny class. For fun, I made an account on a dating site. And ... I found a match who seems really awesome! (on paper). It seems like we have a ton in common, similar interests/values/love of dogs/etc. Unfortunately, it turns out he's a radiology resident at my hospital.

Anyway, here's my question: With third year just around the corner, do you think that messaging or meeting this guy is a bad idea? I hate the idea of him laughing about 'that crazy med school chick' with colleagues and I definitely don't want to risk my future career. My non-medical school friends think I'm being ridiculous and over thinking things, but I think they don't really understand the resident-student dynamic in the hospital.

I'm not bringing up the issue because I'm super obsessed with this particular guy; I know there are other fish in the sea. But I am curious what other people's thoughts are in general about dating/meeting residents outside of the hospital. Thoughts?

Your interaction with a resident professionally will be scant at best. You must avoid rotations where they are your evaluators, even after you separate. Its bade form. It is also a very good reason to be moved to a different site or to a different team. Plenty of people do it.

jsut dont go and do something stupid like choose a geographic location to "stay with him" come match, despite injuring your career.

 

[officedepot]

.

 

[Mr hawkings]

You better jump on that ****

 

[Buzz Me]

Not worth it, IMHO.

 

[KnuxNole]

Agreed, unless you do a rads rotation, I don't think it would be a bad thing. Even if you do a radiology rotation, like office said, they can always make sure it won't hurt you.

Keep in mind in two years, you'll be a resident too, and then it won't be any different than the numerous doctors having relationships with other docs!

 

[myhandsarecold]

and you're sure this guy's going to be into you, right?

 

[partydoc]

M2 sucks, have some fun.

 

[Slevin]

Yeah. Have fun while you can and relieve stress

 

[peppy]

If the resident makes fun of you for messaging him on the site, he'll have to admit that he's on the dating site too and probably open himself up to being mocked too, so I doubt he will.

I do agree that it would be prudent to ask that he is not put in a position to evaluate/grade you though.

 

[Oxer45]

Yeah. Have fun while you can and relieve stress

sexercising always relives stress

 

[coralfangs]

Although I have never dated anyone in the health-care field, I do think it's technically okay to date a resident, especially if he won't be evaluating you. During 3rd year, you will not have direct contact with any radiology residents. During 4th year, it will be the attendings evaluating you.

However, what comes around goes around.
I am close friends with quite a few residents at my hospital and they do tell me all the little gossips they have with med students.
Trust me, hun, people like me would not be the ideal folks who should know about your little sex lives. (exactly the reason I don't date anyone at the hospital, just to keep my life a little more private and more importantly, interesting)

Does it matter if he's "intellectually" more mature than you? 1-2 years more medical training does not make someone more sophisticated. So far, I am confident to say that only 5% of the folks in the medical field are interesting... interesting as in being able to have a deep conversation about something not medically-related. The rest of them are not dateable, at least not with my standard.

 

[Law2Doc]

If you will be rotating through his department (with him as a potential resident to deal with), or if you are applying to radiology, then bad idea.

This.

 

[VenusinFurs]

Yeah if you have any interest in radiology or are planning to do a radiology rotation soon then don't do it, otherwise go for it.

 

[GoSpursGo]

I just can't imagine this is the ONLY guy in your area on the entire site that you think might be interesting. Even if you're not thinking at all about radiology, he could easily have some friends who are residents in your field of interest. Chances are that nothing bad comes of shooting him a message... but why run that risk before checking out other options?

 

[bestcoast]

so, did you end up going out with that resident?

 

[jcu]

Are you preggerz with his baby?