NEVER had a BF/GF

Getting into Med School is Hard? Not with BeMo.
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What applies to you?

  • Never had a BOYFRIEND, haven't found anyone worthy.

    Votes: 25 8.0%

  • Never had a BOYFRIEND, afraid of negative impact on grades

    Votes: 2 0.6%

  • Never had a GIRLFREIND, haven't found anyone worthy

    Votes: 38 12.2%

  • Never had a GIRLFRIEND, afraid of negative impact on grades

    Votes: 13 4.2%

  • HAVE BEEN IN RELATIONSHIPS

    Votes: 233 74.9%
  • Total voters
    311
disorder said:
it can be done.

priorities and discipline.
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as in like... whips and stuff? ;):D
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malfee said:
I had never really met any worthwhile girls until this past year, and we've been happily together ever since. It works out especially well because we're both pretty nerdy in our own respects (i.e., she wants to pursue dentistry and is a NASA fangirl :D), so we both get along really well and understand each other's need to study and do schoolwork. I can definitely see this relationship lasting for quite a while, and I really hope it does. She's great. :love:
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Wow, you didn't meet anyone until you were what, 16? 17? Dang buddy, you've been around the block a few times, haven't you?

I'm sorry, but that comment just makes me laugh. :laugh:

Finding prom dates can be rough, I remember....lol....
 
beachblonde said:
Wow, you didn't meet anyone until you were what, 16? 17? Dang buddy, you've been around the block a few times, haven't you?

I'm sorry, but that comment just makes me laugh. :laugh:

Finding prom dates can be rough, I remember....lol....
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Haha, well maybe it's just where I live, but it's pretty normal (and often expected) for people to start getting into relationships as early as 6th-8th grade. Most people were absolutely shocked to hear that I was womanless prior to the current gf. I can see how that would be funny though. :p
 
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I feel bad for the 21% on here who haven't.
 
mind you there are strict families out there that won't let their kids have any in HS so it sorta stuck with them even into college.
 
malfee said:
Haha, well maybe it's just where I live, but it's pretty normal (and often expected) for people to start getting into relationships as early as 6th-8th grade. Most people were absolutely shocked to hear that I was womanless prior to the current gf. I can see how that would be funny though. :p
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Ok, now you're just making me feel old.

6th grade? Man, I was far more concerned with shopping at Limited Too and painting my nails than I was with boys at that point! How times change...
 
beachblonde said:
Ok, now you're just making me feel old.

6th grade? Man, I was far more concerned with shopping at Limited Too and painting my nails than I was with boys at that point! How times change...
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Well I was too...except substitute the girl stuff for boy stuff. :laugh: That's what I'm saying though, with my generation, everyone is used to doing things earlier, and I've never felt comfortable with it, so that's why it's weird for me to have "waited so long".
 
pre-med workload (even if you work part time) <<<<<<< med school workload << residency workload

Basically, if pre-med work is so strenuous that you can't have a social life/meaningful relationships, then you need to make some changes, because you're working too hard. It only gets harder from here, for several years to come.
 
yeah, you don't need to not date to get good grades lol! like mdgator said, undergraduate is when you have plenty of time...

...not that i've actually ever been on a date, let alone had a gf, but that's cuz my parents would never speak to me again if they ever found out I did. i still plan to date, but it just took me a while to get over the fact that I wouldn't be able to talk to my parents anymore.
 
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My grades were always higher when I was in a relationship while in school, it helped keep me focused and out of mischief.
 
sleepy425 said:
...not that i've actually ever been on a date, let alone had a gf, but that's cuz my parents would never speak to me again if they ever found out I did. i still plan to date, but it just took me a while to get over the fact that I wouldn't be able to talk to my parents anymore.
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How did your parents meet and how old were they when they dated? How old will you have to be to date, or is it an arranged type of thing that will happen? Just curious
 
FrickenhugeMD said:
How did your parents meet and how old were they when they dated? How old will you have to be to date, or is it an arranged type of thing that will happen? Just curious
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lol, yeah i get those questions all the time. so my parents are Palestinian and I guess traditionally in Arabic culture (although nowadays lots of stuff has changed over there, but not for immigrants to the US) your family sets up the marriage. it's not really arranged, because you usually (and in most cases this is true) have the opportunity to say no.

so here's how it goes:

you meet someone you're interested in, or your family finds someone they think you might be interested in

then the guy usually goes and has dinner with the girl and her parents

then if they're still interested, girl has dinner with the guy and his parents

then if they're still interested you get to hang out together but with a family member nearby (so that you um, get too close?)

then if you're still interested, you get engaged, which is basically marriage, but it's not socially accepted as marriage until the party or w/e. then you hang out some more and then eventually get married.

so I understand the cultural reasons for this, but it just doesn't work in the US, I mean, it can, but I was born in the US, my parents have lived in the US for 40 years, so I mean, I've grown up in American culture, and so dating is what i know and that's what I'll probably do.

incidentally, the other issue is who the girl is. my parents would not be ok with someone who isn't muslim, although I'm cool with it. that's actually the main issue, if I dated someone who was a muslim I think they'd think it was ok, but they'd just try to get us to get married.

finally, i should say that my parents are wonderful people, and in almost every respect they're not the stereotypical immigrant parents, they've given me so much freedom in everything but the whole dating thing. and they wouldn't turn violent on me or anything, it'd just be a really rough time. my sister actually married a white guy and I mean, it's been like 6 years and i mean, it's still a little weird around my dad. he didn't even go to their wedding and he still finds so many faults in her husband even though he's really cool.

EDIT: oh, and my parents actually met through a mutual friend cuz they were both teachers in Kuwait before coming to the US. but after they met they went through the path I described above (basically lots of dinners)
 
It definately can be done, I've been with my BF for 4 years now (since HS) and we have managed to stay together throughout college. He understands how much I want to go to Medical School and is behind me all the way. I applied to 34 schools and he said he will go with me wherever I get accepted.

So yeah...it can be done!
 
I've dated the same guy since freshman year in highschool (I'm now a sophmore in college). My grades actually went up after we started dating because he'd want to make sure I studied for tests and things because he knew how much I wanted to do well in school and in college now. He understands that I will spend a lot of time studying, etc., but he like the fact that this gives him time to hang out with his friends and family and do his own hobbies while I'm studying. Like said above, he also will be coming with me where ever I (hopefully) get accepted to.
 
I'm too picky. I guess. Who needs girls when I have....food? video games?


Sigh...
 
I have no game whatsoever. However I used to have a GF just as I was starting college. I realized she was unintelligent and had no goals in life, so I left. Since then I've become highly selective and will only go on a date with someone if they are educated, smart, aware. I'm an INTJ so that makes things kind of difficult.
 
J1515 said:
This is quite typical actually. Especially if you have block exams.
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Haha, maybe I should clarify here. He would turn off his phone and put it in his guitar case under his bed for the entire week. No calls or even a quick e-mail to let me know that he was okay or just to see how I was doing. Who doesn't have 2 minutes just to say hi during the day? That's just unnecessary.
 
skydancing said:
Haha, maybe I should clarify here. He would turn off his phone and put it in his guitar case under his bed for the entire week. No calls or even a quick e-mail to let me know that he was okay or just to see how I was doing. Who doesn't have 2 minutes just to say hi during the day? That's just unnecessary.
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Sounds like someone doesn't know how to strike a healthy work/life balance.
 
so this must indicate that approx 1 in 5 people at my school have never had BF/GF..that is more than i thought. :rolleyes:


well i guess this shouldn't be surprising as about 80% of people on my myspace/facebook are currently on SINGLE STATUS and have been for a hecka long time. :)
 
skydancing said:
Haha, maybe I should clarify here. He would turn off his phone and put it in his guitar case under his bed for the entire week. No calls or even a quick e-mail to let me know that he was okay or just to see how I was doing. Who doesn't have 2 minutes just to say hi during the day? That's just unnecessary.
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I don't care how busy you are, you have time to send a "hey I'm alive, love ya babe" text.

I think perhaps you're better off without the guy. Really. Who wants to date somebody that is incapable of juggling more balls than just one: school?
 
For the 40 of you who've apparently never been in a relationship because you haven't found anyone worthy: examine your standards. There's a problem somewhere along the line, and I'm betting the farm that it has little to do with the people you've encountered.
 
MilkmanAl said:
For the 40 of you who've apparently never been in a relationship because you haven't found anyone worthy: examine your standards. There's a problem somewhere along the line, and I'm betting the farm that it has little to do with the people you've encountered.
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i'd have to assume most of them are from big cities...LA, OC, SD, cities in CA, etc. i have freinds who have a ton of freinds and party all the time so thats probably why they don't have BF/GF becasue they have a lot of company and perhaps a sense of security that there are "a ton of fish in the sea" by the time they need to settle down.


I went to LA Improv a while back and one comedian said:
"I am married but I don't wear my wedding ring because what if I run into my soulmate?"

I thought that was funny!!!!
 
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pianola said:
I think the interesting thing to note is that of 205 people surveyed, exactly 0 women say that their boyfriendlessness is related to potential worry about effect on grades.

Wonder what that means. :confused:
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but theoretically, the 4 votes for being girlfriendless related to potential worry about effect on grades could have been cast by women...think about that...:D
 
I've never had a girlfriend. I've gone on dates and stuff before but I'm very anti-clingy and have never figured out a way to get into the whole "friends-with-benefits" thing.

I'm always afraid it will get too awkward if someone is on a different page than me.
So many times I've gotten phone calls or seen a girl that I'm pseudo-into and just turned it down fearing that it will get too clingy. So weird and awkward. Bleh.

Plus, I hate phones. If I could I would burn them all. I just hate that feeling of being vulnerable to a phone call all the time. I like just having my own uninterrupted time to vegetate. On the other hand, it is nice to be able to contact someone else immediately when I need them. Can't have it both ways now can we. That's why I plan all my stuff before hand with texts.
 
cystapharm said:
How many of you have never had a bf/gf because you didn't want to let a relationship interfere with pre-med education?

I just know this guy and I think he is super hot but he has never had a gf and I feel so bad! What a waste of a cute face and hot body. I want him so bad lol if only he knew.

So yah I know a few people with 4.0 GPAs that refrain from having gfs/bfs. Are any of you here one of them?
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I had me one of those 4.0 gpa's, but.. SERIOUSLY? Who is that neurotic?
 
beachblonde said:
I don't care how busy you are, you have time to send a "hey I'm alive, love ya babe" text.

I think perhaps you're better off without the guy. Really. Who wants to date somebody that is incapable of juggling more balls than just one: school?
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Ish....my current boyfriend is like this. He's in the tech world though.
 
nobody is too busy to shoot off a text or email. if you believe he really is, he's done a great job of making you think he actually does care.
 
I date the same guy from sophmore year of high school to sophomore year of college. Since then i've been more of a "two people getting drunk and using each other for sex" type girl. Not because I haven't found anyone worthy, I've gone out with great guys. But I'm a pretty terrible girlfriend and, at this point, I'm not really interested in getting better at that. I don't call, I don't want to "work on the relationship" and I don't talk about feelings. I don't think my relationship status has that much of a bearing on my grades, I just feel like it's college and I'm having too much fun to put a guy at the center of my life.
 
Arpie said:
I date the same guy from sophmore year of high school to sophomore year of college. Since then i've been more of a "two people getting drunk and using each other for sex" type girl. Not because I haven't found anyone worthy, I've gone out with great guys. But I'm a pretty terrible girlfriend and, at this point, I'm not really interested in getting better at that. I don't call, I don't want to "work on the relationship" and I don't talk about feelings. I don't think my relationship status has that much of a bearing on my grades, I just feel like it's college and I'm having too much fun to put a guy at the center of my life.
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wait... you're a girl? ...you want my digits?
 
EpiPEN said:
roflcopter.gif
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Seriously, you just described in one gif every thought that is currently going through my head. :laugh:

I never understood why people think that relationships need to take up so much time. It's an important part of growing up and something that everyone should be a part of. It builds character and helps you discover yourself. The excuse about having time, is in my opinion, just an excuse. Maybe you can make that argument in residency, but certainly not as a pre-med. Live your college lives, guys. I'm an older student (comparatively) and let me tell you that you don't want to miss out on having some great relationships in university. Reading some of the posts on SDN makes me sad about how many of you are too afraid to put yourselves out there and take a chance. Just do it, either way, good or bad outcome, you'll learn and grow from it. Don't be afraid of it, that's just silly.
 
Saddest. Thread. Ever.:(
 
malfee said:
I had never really met any worthwhile girls until this past year, and we've been happily together ever since. It works out especially well because we're both pretty nerdy in our own respects (i.e., she wants to pursue dentistry and is a NASA fangirl :D), so we both get along really well and understand each other's need to study and do schoolwork. I can definitely see this relationship lasting for quite a while, and I really hope it does. She's great. :love:
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Read this post, then look at his signature.
 
calnation said:
Plus, I hate phones. If I could I would burn them all. I just hate that feeling of being vulnerable to a phone call all the time. I like just having my own uninterrupted time to vegetate. On the other hand, it is nice to be able to contact someone else immediately when I need them. Can't have it both ways now can we. That's why I plan all my stuff before hand with texts.
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:thumbup:
 
Arpie said:
Since then i've been more of a "two people getting drunk and using each other for sex" type girl. Not because I haven't found anyone worthy, I've gone out with great guys. But I'm a pretty terrible girlfriend and, at this point, I'm not really interested in getting better at that. I don't call, I don't want to "work on the relationship" and I don't talk about feelings. I don't think my relationship status has that much of a bearing on my grades, I just feel like it's college and I'm having too much fun to put a guy at the center of my life.
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+1 Relationships made me the same way...but it's rare to find a guy who will actually believe you are having just as much fun as he is in a FB/semi-causal arrangement, and not assume you are doing it because you have low self-esteem. I don't care how hot you are, I'm not sleeping with you if you don't understand this. So you have to
a. find a guy who wants something non-serious
b. who genuinely respects you, and then
c. makes an effort, as you should, to keep things somewhat challenging without being a PITA, because nobody likes something that comes easy.

MUCH harder to find a guy like this, but well worth it :)
 
you forgot to add "because I'm a loser and/or complete nerd and/or so weird that nobody wants to date me" to end of each of those poll choices
 
nsx said:
+1 Relationships made me the same way...but it's rare to find a guy who will actually believe you are having just as much fun as he is in a FB/semi-causal arrangement, and not assume you are doing it because you have low self-esteem. I don't care how hot you are, I'm not sleeping with you if you don't understand this. So you have to
a. find a guy who wants something non-serious
b. who genuinely respects you, and then
c. makes an effort, as you should, to keep things somewhat challenging without being a PITA, because nobody likes something that comes easy.

MUCH harder to find a guy like this, but well worth it :)
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Ha ha, and you want respect and non-serious? Good luck.
 
Alternatively, you can feign interest in something "serious" and downgrade as necessary. The key there is making the guy feel like he is the one calling the shots.

Not that I would know anything about that...:D
 
Man, if you guys are incapable of juggling the amazingly tough rigors (/sarcasm) of being premed with a relationship and a little fun on the side, I can't even begin to think how you will handle it later on. You must realize it will NEVER really get easier than now, right? Once you get into medical school competition is really intense to be at or near the top to secure the specialty you want, you have exams weekly sometimes, tons of lectures each day with associated reading and then you will find yourself after a year and a half studying for the monster that is step 1. There goes your social life for a while. Then clinical years 3-4 start and they can have insane hours, depending on the rotation you're on. Then guess what? Residency! OMG! and a little something called the intern year that pretty much owns you 80-90+ hours a week. Good LUCK getting your life in order then. You might as well not date until you're 40 at least...what's the point?

My suggestion: sign your celibacy agreement papers now, and get yourself a non abrasive glove and some lube, it's going to be a long haul. :laugh:
 
I have a 3.82 GPA and am currently engaged to the girl I've been dating since second semester freshman year. She's very supportive of me my aspirations to become a physician. I think if you're upfront about your goals and priorities you can build a relationship that can withstand you being in med school (time intensive).
-durty
 
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