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Not happy with current acceptances

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by CafeMed, Dec 20, 2008.

  1. CafeMed

    CafeMed Bitter
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    My friend applied to about 10 schools this cycle and he got into 7 out of the 10 and he is unhappy because he didn't get an interview from UCLA. He got into one of the top schools in the nation and isn't even excited about it because he wants to stay at UCLA for another 4 years. He complains about it daily and says that he calls UCLA frequently trying to get an interview. I just can't believe how someone can take these kinds of opportunities for granted. I told him to send in the deposit to save his spot and he's like, I want to wait a little longer to see what's going to happen with UCLA. Any acceptance should make someone happy especially considering how damn hard it is to get into med. school. I'm just extremely annoyed with his whole attitude. Alright, done with rant, carry on! And yes, I'm bitter because I'm still waiting to hear back about interviews. :p
     
  2. JeetKuneDo

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    I say in my expert opinion that your friend should not matriculate at any school this cycle if UCLA doesn't give him an interview. :)
     
  3. Food

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    Look - that's just one of the types of people in this world...and on this forum. People who get acceptances but keep badgering anyone who will hear them about how their favorite school won't accept them.

    Then there are people who are already in medical school and try to "help" pre-meds - but mainly do this by reducing everyone's hopes. Note this is not the same as being "realistic". Realistically - people with MCAT scores of 18 make it in - one way or another. Mostly though on this forum - current medical students are generally helpful and supportive.

    Then there are people like you and me - who honestly don't care about competing with others for top spots - we just want to go to medical school at an accredited U.S. school, or whatever category we are aiming for. Now - people will write posts in which they flame me for saying this - but what purpose is there in obsessing about going to a particular school - if you have already interviewed, done everything you can, and already have acceptances at other top schools in the bag? Once you're in med school, you're more or less at a level field with everyone else. It's extremely short-sighted at best.

    So my advice would be to not care about them or the people telling you "helpful" things about your stats that really amount to them crushing your hopes with subjective rules about admissions. If it were possible to judge a candidate's appropriateness for a medical program over the internet, there would be no need for face-to-face interviews. And always remember that there are other normal people who are also patiently waiting for whatever comes their way.
     
  4. fizzle

    fizzle New Member
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    Tell your friend about how you got a UCLA interview and are now trying to decide whether to decline it. :smuggrin:
     
  5. cyclin M

    cyclin M megaman
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    Your friend sounds really annoying just from that little blurb you wrote. He is probably the type of person who, even if UCLA and every other med school accepted him, would find something to complain about.

    Don't sweat it, get away from him if it helps you. He is causing you stress and you don't want stress, so remove the source of stress. Stay away from this inconsiderate tool. :thumbup:
     
  6. JeetKuneDo

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    Sort of similar to what this poster is saying http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showpost.php?p=7499872&postcount=197

    Denzel Washington's quote from Training Day prettty much sums up SDN:
    " It's 90 percent bulls**t, but it's entertaining. That's why I read it, because it entertains me."
     
  7. Food

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    Haha Polar Bear, right on.

    The worst part is - a few of the mods on here which...curiously include current medical students...serve no function other than to speculate, and then present it as though it is some sort of definitive verdict, even if that is not their intention. It's even more disturbing considering that people attribute such mythical importance to the posts of a few medical students who have at best a few year's experience with whatever it is they think they do. (Most medical students on this forum are not like this)

    The funny thing is - you would think that medical school would teach them otherwise. That the entire system is so convoluted with hundreds of unpredictable variables that there is no way you could accurately pass judgment on an applicant's viability. You cannot objectively portray a process that is inherently subjective and biased by human thought and emotion.

    If you want to use SDN properly - make sure you understand what and who it is.
     
  8. Kaydubz

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    Perhaps he has a personal reason for wanting to stay in UCLA, such as tuition? Family? The fact that he already lives there? It's his right to feel whatever he wants about a certain school and I don't know all the details, so I'm reserving judgment.
     
  9. Food

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    There's a difference between what you are thinking of, and what the OP's friend is doing. Being disrespectful and immodest and completely nonsupporting of a friend who is still waiting for interviews.
     
  10. chiz2kul

    chiz2kul t.roll.ed for Banning
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    If he doesnt get into UCLA this year, he need to discard all his acceptances and reapply again next year. The fooo....
     
  11. CafeMed

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    That sums up how I feel pretty well. I know it's not his intention at all, but I do feel bad when he goes on and on complaining about this and it's hard to really say anything about it. I've told him he has a great opportunity and there's no way he can turn down this school, but I'm getting annoyed with the ungrateful vibe.

    His main reason for wanting to go to UCLA is that he just doesn't want to move even though the school he's been accepted to is still in CA.
     
  12. Dissected

    Dissected All bleeding stops eventually
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    Thats lame. If he really wanted to go to UCLA that bad he shouldn't have even applied to those other schools this cycle. Its his own darn fault!

    I hope you get some interviews brotha, its good to know you can appreciate true good fortune!
     
  13. dragonfly99

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    Someone sitting on seven medical school acceptances who is still complaining IMHO shows a lack of judgment and maturity. This is aside from the fact that it is rude and shows lack of consideration for other friend(s) still waiting to get into medical school. IMHO I think some of these admissions committees made a mistake in accepting this person unless this is completely atypical behavior for this person. The vast majority of people would never have the chance of choosing between 7 different medical schools to go to. In fact, many people never get in. This person shows a lack of appreciation for the golden opportunities he has just been handed. I would not want this complaining medical student on my team in the hospital...I hope he has grown up by 3rd year or he is going to get his a-- kicked on the wards.
     
  14. enjoydrywax

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    Wow some of you people are riddled with jealousy and spite. Perhaps this kid worked his nuts off in college to build a god-like application so that he could solidify his spot at UCLA, but things haven't worked out yet. His "golden opportunities" were EARNED. It's not like he stumbled ass-backwards onto seven acceptances and started crying because one of them wasn't UCLA.

    I think the real problem is the OP and many of you posting in this thread. Do you guys feel jealous that you don't have seven acceptances? Seems like it. The reason I defend the kid in the OP is because I am in the EXACT same situation--I have four acceptances from solid programs but all I want is an acceptance from UCLA. Does I show a "lack of maturity" if I stil don't have an acceptance from my top spot? Of course not and you sir need to be kicked in the balls for suggesting so.
     
  15. p30doc

    p30doc Ever true and unwavering
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    Punch your friend in the face and tell him to get real.
     
  16. ButImLETired

    ButImLETired Prodigal member
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    Hmmm i actually dont think i agree. I agree that this website tends to be filled with pompous, entitled people who feel better when they bring people down, but when you ask a question on WAMC or speculate as to why you havent had much luck, youre opening yourself up to judgment even from those people. The thing is, for every success stories there are tons of people who should maybe have taken some advice and waited to apply. Numbers are definitely not everything, but they open doors, and it would be imprudent and frankly hypocritical to say someone with significantly low numbers has a great shot. Unsolicited advice is obnoxious, but solicited one is, well, to be expected. If you want to be coddled, the med school admission process is going to be very tough, cause as far as ive seen, adcoms arent too big on coddling.











     
  17. fizzle

    fizzle New Member
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    Well, if you, like the OP's friend, also complain daily to your friends about not getting into UCLA when they're waiting just for interviews from any schools, then yes, you are showing a "lack of maturity."
     
  18. Jtrenier

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    LOL... you should use this as your signature. :thumbup:
     
  19. Food

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    Fair point - life is cruel and yes you need numbers. But what I don't like is people giving conclusive and absolute statements about a process that is clearly not absolute and conclusive. THAT is hypocrisy. Any mature med student would tell you that the admissions process is riddled with flaws, inaccuracies and mistakes. Maybe not their particular school, but the system in general. I think that is something that is overlooked so often that people have begun to think they can actually predict with precision the reception a particular person's file will receive.

    I've personally always argued for numbers being the most important goal for anyone trying to apply. I will never tell people that they can make it with anything below a 30 - because that is not what people should be aiming for. What I think is insane however, though, is that people have begun to give generic, blanket advice and actually think it is accurate because it "worked for them" or is word for word what the adcoms would tell you. If the adcoms had a flawless system of selecting students - you wouldn't be hearing complaints from residents and attendings about the lack of quality medical students.

    I suppose I should also blame people who take advice from SDN-ers as fact and act upon them with 100% faith. Then they perpetuate the entire system of "orders" coming from above. It just seems that people are becoming increasingly lazy and want others to tell them what to do - rather than do the research themselves - and the ones giving conclusive absolute advice rather than helpful suggestions - are ever increasing in their sense of self-importance. Welcome to Politics of the Corporate World 101.
     
  20. Food

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    You know - I read the part about you asking if "Does I show a 'lack of maturity' if I still don't have an acceptance from my top spot..." and then I read "you sir need to be kicked in the balls". If you are using this "you sir" phrase - get off SDN and go comment on youtube.

    And we aren't debating whether the OP's friend has a lack of maturity because he is hoping on hope for an acceptance at UCLA despite 7 acceptances. We think he's immature because he keeps talking about it to his friend who is waiting on INTERVIEWS.

    I'm starting to wonder how you convinced those adcoms to accept you if you can't discern this simple step in logic.
     
  21. flaahless

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    My friend, you are wise beyond your years.
     
  22. suwaifo

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    You know what's immature? When a friend apparently has a "friend" that he or she can't stand and posts on SDN to redirect his or her anger. Maybe the OP should either reconsider who his or her friends are or do as friends do and forgive each other for stupid stuff.

    I can't believe these garbage threads aren't labeled as troll, yet other great ideas and suggestions get called troll.
     
  23. CafeMed

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    Just because I'm frustrated with this situation does not mean that I can't stand my friend. Nice leap in logic. :rolleyes: People vent on SDN about all sorts of things and that's what I was doing especially since there are people here who actually understand what I'm going through in this application cycle. If you think it's garbage then ignore it.
     
  24. suwaifo

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    "I'm just extremely annoyed with his whole attitude."
    Guess these words just don't mean anything these days.

    You don't get rid of garbage by ignoring it. Otherwise, my room would be pristine.
     
  25. Pedsbro

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    :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: Thank God somebody finally came out and said it..

    And seriously...7 acceptances? Or even 4 acceptances? And beyond the lack of gratefulness for such an amazing accomplishment, you're going to complain about not getting one school to people who don't have any? Forget immature...that's just STUPID. To think you're going to get sympathy from someone who doesn't have any acceptances.
     
  26. Dissected

    Dissected All bleeding stops eventually
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    jealousy? i think it would be safe to say you are probably a lot more jealous of all the people with UCLA acceptances in their hands than anyone in here is of the toolbag in the OP's post. 90% of the people posting in this forum have worked their jewels off in undergrad and beyond to strive for med school, and he has been fortunate enought to get 7 acceptances. I applaud him, his hard work has paid off, but his behavior and ungrateful attitude are uncalled for. Especially when he has friends who are in the lesser position of not having been accepted yet. Congrats on your 4 acceptances, and I hope that UCLA gives you some love because you have worked hard for it, but I pray that you can still see how fortunate you are to have been accepted at all. If "all you want is an acceptance from UCLA", then why did you even bother applying anywhere else? is your goal to go to UCLA med or to become a physician? priorities my friend, priorities.
     
  27. CafeMed

    CafeMed Bitter
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    Being annoyed with someone's attitude about a particular situation doesn't mean that you can't stand them.

    Anyway, I'm not going to bother responding to your garbage any further because it's not worth my time. Clicking ignore does wonders.
     
  28. suwaifo

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    I tell it like it is, son.
     
  29. Lukkie

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    i want CafeMed to get accepted to UCLA
     
  30. CafeMed

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    :thumbup::thumbup:

    Everyone worked hard to try to get into med. school and some great applicants great turned away every cycle. You have 4 acceptances and you get to be a doctor no matter what school you go to. That fact should be more than enough to make you happy and I don't really understand why some people are only hung up on one school and can't appreciate what they already have. You could easily only have 1 acceptance or even none.
     
  31. CafeMed

    CafeMed Bitter
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    :thumbup::thumbup::D
     
  32. enjoydrywax

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    This is where I disagree with you. I think his behavior is 100% acceptable given his situation. I understand 90% of this forum has given up so much to work towards a med school acceptance, but the kid in the OP has obviously done something a little above and beyond what most have (I am assuming this because of his seven acceptances). I personally believe if he has accomplished that much he has every right to be picky and choosy with where he desires to go, despite his current situation. The way I see it, it's the OP who has the problem; like LET said, if he wanted to be coddled and told that everything is going to be alright this cycle he should speak with his parents/therapist/girlfriend/whatever.

    DoktorB, don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for my acceptances, and you are right I am very jealous of those heading to UCLA next year. But I don't see why it's so bad to yearn so badly for that school given my situation. Yes, priority one is to become a doctor, I definitely agree with you there, but because I have worked so hard on my entire application I still feel as if I can have my cake and eat it too. Call that entitlement if you will, but I am only human, I want what I want. Applying to only UCLA med is akin to shooting myself in the foot, why would I put all my eggs in one basket and hope for the best? That's why I applied to all these other programs. At the end of the day if I end up going to vandy or ucsd or wherever, I'm not going to spend those next four years bitching about how I didn't get to go to UCLA. I'll get over it and move on, but in the mean time I think it's perfectly acceptable to want what I want despite what I already have.
     
  33. suwaifo

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    I love this mentality. If the engineers of our world thought like this, there would be far more collapsed bridges and fatal airplane crashes.
     
  34. cbrons

    cbrons Ratatoskr! *Roar*
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    Really? I agree with some of the other stuff you said... there definitely a lot of people on here who try and bring down others hopes but an 18 on the MCAT won't get you into med school as a janitor.
     
  35. Vihsadas

    Vihsadas No summer
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    I understand your point, and I see where you are coming from, but this is the internet. It's implied that any advice you get is "buyer beware". SDN is here to share opinions and perspectives, and that's exactly what you get: viewpoints of all shapes and sizes. As the reader, it's our job to sift through the voices and opinions and decide for ourselves what will work for us and will not. I agree that it can be discouraging to read so much negativity on here, and trust me, I know what that feels like. I was posting here during my last abysmal application cycle and got my fair share of ridicule.

    One thing I don't understand about your post, however, is why you think that it smacks of hubris for one poster to describe "what worked for them", and also what they've been told specifically from admissions committee members. Isn't that kind of the entire point of SDN? For us to come together and talk about our experiences so that we have some sort of reference point on which to build our applications? The tough part is to be able to wade through all of that, retain your sanity, and then to just do what you think will work for you. By definition, what you hear on this site is heresay. That's how it will always be on an anonymous internet forum. So it's up to us to read something and stop and say to ourselves, "Is this reasonable? Do I think this is a good idea? Is it possible that this can strengthen my app?"

    There are no perfect processes, and of course no-one will be able to predict where you will and will not get in. And yes, I do understand that it can be mind-numbingly frustrating to hear ultimatums all the time when you post here. But it is what it is. And from my personal experience (read: not THE TRUTH, but just one man's opinion), I don't think that I would have had as much success as I did if I didn't spend a whole lot of time sifting through what people posted here and coming up with a plan. I will be forever and deeply grateful for the existence of this site...and that comes with both the good and the bad of it.
     
  36. gujuDoc

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    Although I completely agree with you, I think you are missing the point of the post that you quoted.

    He/She was not saying that people need to be coddled but that not everything is definitive for every school.

    A simple example. Law2doc, NJBMD, and a few others spread it like gospel that doing a masters degree will have no benefit other then as another EC. But its academic value is little. Perhaps at the schools they've talked to and worked at or studied at that is true. However, I know for fact that it is not true at my own state schools whose many adcom members have often told me otherwise. I also know the same to be true at few other places.

    That is just one example. There are many others. I don't know if the Hopkins acceptee that someone else referenced the guy that was paralyzed and got in. But there were people on here that told him he couldn't get in and not only did he get in but got into Hopkins. So you are right that most may not be as successful as that guy, but the point is there are NO ABSOLUTES in a lot of cases and when a small subset of people portray themselves as having absolute answers things get sticky. No one can say for sure what will or won't happen. They can only speculate or state that which is true of their schools but then specify that that is what they heard with regards to specific subset of schools rather then try to pass it on as gospel of every school.
     
  37. Dissected

    Dissected All bleeding stops eventually
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    I understand where you're coming from, I can't very well expect you (or the OP's friend) not to still want that UCLA acceptance. You've got good perspective on it (bolded above). The one thing that rubs me the wrong way is how the 7 acceptance kid carry's himself. Complaining about it will not get you sympathy, and it will only make your friends around you respect you less. Its one thing to want something really bad, but its another to b*tch and moan to people who have less than you. I see it like a rich man (7 acceptance kid) complaining to a blue collar worker (OP) about the luxuries of life. What a slap in the face. It just isn't respectul at all.
     
  38. gujuDoc

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    But again when people tell what adcoms say or adcom members like NJBMD says stuff, they don't reveal what school it is coming from. So what may be true of one school is not true of others yet when they post they post such that it is true of every school in the nation and not just their state schools or their particular schools.

    People want to maintain their anonymity but want to share info. but you can't do both always. You need to sometimes give the info in full with regards to the school that you are hearing such from because that school might do things differently then some other shcool. You also can't say just because you heard something is done at one school one way that all schools must do things that way because that is false.

    As another example of this, LizzyM always says to maintain short terse bullet points for AMCAS and that's how her school might like it but USF's adcom members told me to state what I learned and why I did it and what I did not just short terse statements of what I did.

    In that respect, I love talking to REL because he has been upfront about where he was an adcom at and where he currently is an adcom at from the very beginning of his posting on here. So you know when he gives his perspectives it is as a Fl. state school adcom vs. say Harvard or a top tier university with very different ways of doing things. Cuz a school like Harvard, for instance, might not take seriously a nontrad postbac who might have had done bad in the past but now doing well but a school like Fl. state schools might overlook a person's past if they've shown that the present is better reflection of their capability.

    The problem I have with almost every other adcom member on here is that they want to give their two cents but they don't even want to clarify whether they are at a top 10-20 ranked school vs. state school or what state they are in so people understand their perspective better.

    Perspective of a harvard admissions officer is just not the same as some random state school. Perspective of a rural med focused school is just not the same as a school gearing more towards research. See what I mean??
     
  39. enjoydrywax

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    When you put it that way it makes sense, however I can understand why the 7-acceptance-kid would complain to the OP (being friends and all). What I don't get is why the OP doesn't bring this up with his friend and maybe complain to him about the OP's situation. You bring up a good point though, it's really about how you carry yourself regardless of your situation. I think you summed it up with the sentence I bolded above.


    PS: Food, are you a starcraft player? One of my biggest worries is how starcraft 2 will come out during my first year of med school. I can see this being a problem.
     
  40. Slowpoke

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    When I read 7 acceptances, I said wow...

    When I read your friend was whining about not being interviewed at UCLA, again, I said wow...

    This guy needs someone to beat him with a reality stick.
     
  41. airplanes

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    I don't think you get it. Everybody wants to get into their top choice school. Everyone is entitled to be disappointed if they are given the cold shoulder even though they think they're competitive for that school. People just think the dude is a toolbag cause he keeps moaning about his predicament in light of his other successes.

    You gotta take everything on here with a grain of salt. I have read and taken a lot of valuable advice and I am really grateful for the existence of SDN. I believe that most of the advice is accurate in terms of benchmarks and where a particular person wants to be. People have always gotten in with low MCAT scores, little clinical experience, a poorly written PS, low GPA's and a run in or two with the law. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt their chances. Most pre-meds on here want to maximize their chances and I believe this site does a tremendous job of identifying what perceived weaknesses could be, in addition to helpful interview tips and anything else a neurotic pre-med might be worried about.
     
  42. suwaifo

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  43. airplanes

    10+ Year Member

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    True. and I would agree that some people are jealous. I know I wish I had 7 acceptances right now, although 1 will do just fine in the long run. If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that people are never satisfied. In the end though, I think there is something to be said for humility and respect for others, which this guy does not seem to be showing.
     
  44. scarletgirl777

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    This is so, so true.

    And the comment about med students suddenly thinking that they're position means that they are automatically know everything about the process is also true. I was very successful in applying to college, but I would never say I know everything about the process or that what specific idiosyncrasies worked for the schools I got into would be seen the same way in other schools.
     
  45. Jolie South

    Jolie South is invoking Domo. . .
    Physician Moderator Emeritus 10+ Year Member

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    Let's try to keep comments constructive and on-topic.
     
  46. Demas567

    Demas567 Member
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    Ummm, this is completely off topic but weren't you the kid whose girlfriend broke up with you 2 days before you took the MCAT?? I remember your avatar pic and your posts about the situation. Did you get back with her or something? From your avatar pic, it looks like you did...
     
  47. Food

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    Fair enough. I think it's going to be impossible though, given what the OP was about.

    My main point ties into a broader problem that physicians have always struggled with, from my limited perspective. When you believe so strongly in a system as some people on this forum do...you make those absolute statements that I was referring to earlier. In other words - you are absolutely sure that plan X will work and absolutely sure that plan Y won't work. In my opinion, such a person is shouldering immense responsibility and undeserved authority. This is exactly the sort of thing doctors are supposed to stay AWAY from.

    It's like the cancer patient who has 3 weeks to live and ends up living for another 10 years. Atypical? Yes. A miracle? Probably. Predictable? No. The fact is that science never had all the answers, and is at best only a rough guide to what can be understood and predicted. Thus is the science of admissions - and I think people should take it as such. To this end - people should always do everything they can on their part. To those of you who are planning on applying - do not leave any room for regret. Get the best MCAT score you can, get the best GPA you can. I will tell you from experience that there is no worse experience than regretting laziness on your part. BUT - to those of you who are applying and feeling worried - never lose hope (especially on account of what some of these 'experts' might tell you). Hope will get you farther than you can imagine (but make sure you did everything on your part. If you had all the time in the world, but were lazy, and ended up with a 18 MCAT or a 25 MCAT - hope will do nothing for you).
     
  48. Pedsbro

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    Oh man, I second that one..:smack:
     
  49. Food

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    Thanks! If I was really wise though, I would take my own advice once in a while and wouldn't be applying with a 3.44 GPA. Oh...irony, thou art cruel.
     
  50. junkct

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    Are you sure there aren't other issues that are impacting him (financial, family, personal, etc.)? Any one of these, in my eyes, justifies his desire to get into UCLA so badly. Maybe he honestly can't see himself being happy at any of the schools he's applied to? (I know, everyone's going to say "well why did he even apply?" but seriously, how many of you actually check out the places you apply to before your interviews?). Anyway, for some reason I don't think this guy is a prestige-wh**e... if he's been accepted to a top 4 school and is still unhappy, I'm sure there's something that really draws him to UCLA.

    Granted, I DONT agree with the way he's handling a situation (complaining to a friend who is in a much worse situation than him), but don't pretend like none of you have never acted like this. Don't make character judgments on this guy by calling him immature; that's hypocritical.
     

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