TexMED and dcowboys, thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate your responses.
I am actually so incredibly bitter about this whole process. My boss interviews for UTH, and in response to my uncertainties about being accepted before the match, she said to me, "I would be shocked if you didn't get in. I'm 100% sure you'll make it." I first talked with Dr. Kellaway, the asst dean of admissions, when she came over while I was privileged enough to have lunch with my boss and astronauts that were visiting the hospital. She hinted to me that she had her eye on me and I got my invitation to interview in November the next day.
Also, my mother has been a nurse at the UTH teaching hospital, Hermann, for 23 years and she heard kind, encouraging words from Dr. Kellaway about my application when they worked together on a case once. I was uplifted by the fact that Dr. K knew my first and last name (which is different from my mom's). I also volunteered with Dr. K ten years ago when I was 13...but I even have trouble remembering doing that.
My story:
I graduated from UT in May 06, and I started working after my tonsillectomy in June. I lived with my mom for two months to save money for my own place, and we'd travel to work together. I would wake up at 4:30 am, leave by 5, get to work at 5:30, sleep for one hour in the parking garage, then I started at 6:30. My mom got out of work at 2:30pm and napped until I got out at 3:30, then I'd go drop her off at her husband's store where she would work the rest of the evening. I had dinner at the store, then left for my MCAT class at 5:30, not getting home until 10 pm. Then MCAT hw, trying to finish up my apps, and up again at 4:30 the next morning. And I was trying to do a long distance relationship. Ugh.
I was retaking the MCAT in August, and my mom got sick the week before the exam. She was at work in the hospital and had to be admitted to the ER because of chest pains and ridiculously high blood pressure. The doctors said that because she responded to the nitroglycerine that they administered, she probably had a "mini-heart attack." In her hospital bed, my mom told me to go home, and that if I didn't do well on the MCAT, she'd have a real heart attack.
I remember when I found out I made a 33R (which was higher than I'd ever practiced) - I just screamed in my office and started shaking. Then I ran down the hallways through the school and the hospital, ignoring the concerned looks and shouting back to someone that asked me what was wrong, "No, everything's ok! Actually... EVERYTHING'S GREAT!!!" I then ran to find my mom in the PACU, and she knew from my breathlessness that it was about my MCAT, but good or bad? When I told her the score, that it was better than expected, she started crying and we just hugged and held onto each other, hiding behind some empty patient beds so no one would watch our moment.
Two weeks before the match, my boyfriend broke up with me. The boy that said he would follow me anywhere to med school, that he wanted to marry me then decided that he no longer could handle the long distance and that I "wasn't worth the trouble. It's too hard." I'll be honest; this has been so difficult for me and I never have been so hurt and disappointed in my life. My heart is still broken - about him and school. Waiting to hear SOMETHING is excruciating since I work at the school and with 1st year med students my age, who have been supportive and hopeful for me. As an aside, it actually turned out that my exbf wanted to date someone else, which I found out when I was picking up some of my stuff from his place. He invited ME in. The noise coming from upstairs he swore was his brother, but he finally admitted that it was another girl when his brother actually walked in from the back door.
Anyway, I've just resigned to the fact that this was a very competitive year, there are no guarantees, and yes, as TexMED said, the timing wasn't right. I do believe things happen for a reason, and I have faith that things will turn out for the best, eventually...
Three weeks ago I wrote an LOI and a letter of update last week (bc I recently found out that two of my abstracts were accepted for poster sessions and will be published). I've also called the secretaries in the admissions office incessantly...but I just don't know what else to say and ask. I have been told to be persistent, but... "Hi again, Nancy [or Yolanda. I miss Tiffany]. What's up?" is what the conversations are starting to sound like. I had that appt with Dr. K to see what I could do to improve my re-app, which I said in a past post went not so hot. She grilled me about my C's (whoops) and about a few of my experiences that I was ambivalent about on my app (bc they weren't very productive anyway). I was too honest about how insignificant they were, and I forgot to put on a fake air of confidence, which I naturally lack.
So - what can I do now? Is there anything besides sitting on my hands and forcing myself to NOT STALK the office?
*sorry for the long post*
