Nurse friend acting weird

[GoodLawd]

so my friend and I have been buddies since high school (I didn’t try in high school so I really didn’t do well but in college I decided I wanted to pursue medicine). We used to be super close but when I got into medical school it seemed like the dynamics changed. She’s a nurse and whenever I say something (ie our friend had a baby and I was answering a question she had) she acted like idk what I’m talking about. She just got accepted into nurse practitioner school and it just seems like that weird dynamic where she acts like she’s better than me has progressed.

I brush it off for the most part, I have too much stuff going on with school. But lately it makes me bummed, I just want my old friend back. Not some weird dynamic.

Thoughts? Why is she so weird about me being in med school? Or makes me feel like idk what I’m talking about? It’s honestly insulting I study my butt off in school. Should I just continue to brush it off? I only see her when I go home on breaks.

Ps sorry if this is in the wrong board or shouldn’t be on here at all but I feel like my fellow med friends may have good insight

Thanks

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[OrthoTraumaMD]

It is likely projection, of her own feelings of inadequacy. Call her out for acting weird if you are close and want to fix things, or ignore it if you’re not.

 

[salpinx minx]

one of my best friends from growing up is a nurse, considering becoming an NP, and she isn't weird about me being in med school at all - she's hella supportive and loves to swap clinical stories. same goes for many other nurse friends. i agree that your friend is probably feeling insecure about what she perceives as you "pulling ahead" of her career-wise - if she was truly secure and confident in her skill set (which is an extremely valuable one - we couldn't do ANYTHING without nurses) - then she wouldn't be so weird about it.

my guess is that nurses who act huffy and try to flex probably have had past experiences where doctors treated them like crap, and they try to settle the score by misplacing that frustration on med students. don't take it personally. it's not about you. if you two are really close, you should be able to explain to her why it's upsetting to you and she should understand.

 

[DexterMorganSK]

so my friend and I have been buddies since high school (I didn’t try in high school so I really didn’t do well but in college I decided I wanted to pursue medicine). We used to be super close but when I got into medical school it seemed like the dynamics changed. She’s a nurse and whenever I say something (ie our friend had a baby and I was answering a question she had) she acted like idk what I’m talking about. She just got accepted into nurse practitioner school and it just seems like that weird dynamic where she acts like she’s better than me has progressed.

I brush it off for the most part, I have too much stuff going on with school. But lately it makes me bummed, I just want my old friend back. Not some weird dynamic.

Thoughts? Why is she so weird about me being in med school? Or makes me feel like idk what I’m talking about? It’s honestly insulting I study my butt off in school. Should I just continue to brush it off? I only see her when I go home on breaks.

Ps sorry if this is in the wrong board or shouldn’t be on here at all but I feel like my fellow med friends may have good insight

Thanks

She's acting weird because you're going to be a doctor and she seems to be playing "doctor" as a nurse.

If you want to fix things then explain that her being nurse is completely normal and you being a future doc do not think any less of her work as a nurse.

Otherwise, meh, move on.

 

[GoodLawd]

I kind of figured thats why shes being weird but I didnt want to assume too much or make it seem like her role as a nurse or future NP is any less of importance. It seems like shes feeling that way though. Ill give it a shot to try and talk to her over spring break. Thanks for the input everybody!

 

[Moose A Moose]

Lol. This is only the start.

 

[MisterKitty]

I kind of figured thats why shes being weird but I didnt want to assume too much or make it seem like her role as a nurse or future NP is any less of importance. It seems like shes feeling that way though. Ill give it a shot to try and talk to her over spring break. Thanks for the input everybody!

i mean it's not as important

 

[ciestar]

I have a friend who did this too. Only it was an MD vs a DO thing and I was accused of being “too good” for DO.

If things suddenly got weird, it could be a projection thing, or jealously. Either way, if it bothers you, ask what is up if you want to fix it. She might not even realize she is doing it.

 

[Tenk]

Ask them to draw the Krebs cycle.

 

[Mass Effect]

Is she/was she working as a nurse? Because honestly, when you're a med student, the nurses DO know more.

 

[7331poas]

so my friend and I have been buddies since high school (I didn’t try in high school so I really didn’t do well but in college I decided I wanted to pursue medicine). We used to be super close but when I got into medical school it seemed like the dynamics changed. She’s a nurse and whenever I say something (ie our friend had a baby and I was answering a question she had) she acted like idk what I’m talking about. She just got accepted into nurse practitioner school and it just seems like that weird dynamic where she acts like she’s better than me has progressed.

I brush it off for the most part, I have too much stuff going on with school. But lately it makes me bummed, I just want my old friend back. Not some weird dynamic.

Thoughts? Why is she so weird about me being in med school? Or makes me feel like idk what I’m talking about? It’s honestly insulting I study my butt off in school. Should I just continue to brush it off? I only see her when I go home on breaks.

Ps sorry if this is in the wrong board or shouldn’t be on here at all but I feel like my fellow med friends may have good insight

Thanks

I mean, the way you have written it implies you were just accepted. Therefore it is certainly possible you were wrong about the pregnancy question.

 

[deleted480308]

Is she/was she working as a nurse? Because honestly, when you're a med student, the nurses DO know more.

No they don’t

 

[acapnial]

so my friend and I have been buddies since high school (I didn’t try in high school so I really didn’t do well but in college I decided I wanted to pursue medicine). We used to be super close but when I got into medical school it seemed like the dynamics changed. She’s a nurse and whenever I say something (ie our friend had a baby and I was answering a question she had) she acted like idk what I’m talking about. She just got accepted into nurse practitioner school and it just seems like that weird dynamic where she acts like she’s better than me has progressed.

I brush it off for the most part, I have too much stuff going on with school. But lately it makes me bummed, I just want my old friend back. Not some weird dynamic.

Thoughts? Why is she so weird about me being in med school? Or makes me feel like idk what I’m talking about? It’s honestly insulting I study my butt off in school. Should I just continue to brush it off? I only see her when I go home on breaks.

Ps sorry if this is in the wrong board or shouldn’t be on here at all but I feel like my fellow med friends may have good insight

Thanks

Depends. Did she get cranky because after her baby vomited you suggested it might by pyloric stenosis? Because tired parents do have their limits.

But in seriousness, don't take it personally. There is very little real world utility in what you learn as a 1st year medical student.

I have some before med school friends that I love dearly who say harmless incorrect medical things all the time. Unless it seems like they're gearing up to inadvertently harm themselves I usually don't correct them. Spending all your time correcting people is a good way to lose friends, especially if it comes across like you're doing it just to show off how smart you are.

 

[Mass Effect]

I can’t tell if you’re being serious.

I was talking a RN on the wards (20+ years experience) who didn’t know what folliculitis was

Diff RN but same seniority who didn’t know what intussusception was.

The list goes on and on...

There are exceptions to every rule, but speaking in practicalities, on your clerkships, most nurses know more than you do. First 2 years of med school is not a reflection of the realities of working in medicine.

No they don’t

Yes, they do.

 

[deleted480308]

There are exceptions to every rule, but speaking in practicalities, on your clerkships, most nurses know more than you do. First 2 years of med school is not a reflection of the realities of working in medicine.

I’m going to disagree. They may know the door codes to the supply closet and the phone number to radiology. They can show you how to stop the dang monitor from beeping.

They do not know more medicine

 

[Rekt]

No they don’t

There are exceptions to every rule, but speaking in practicalities, on your clerkships, most nurses know more than you do. First 2 years of med school is not a reflection of the realities of working in medicine.



Yes, they do.

No they don't. Please stop perpetuating this bull****. It's the reason nurses agencies are curb stomping physicians because they have to pretend every nurse is some god.

Just because a nurse enacts an orderset 100x doesn't mean they know anything about it.

 

[studentdocftw]

Is she/was she working as a nurse? Because honestly, when you're a med student, the nurses DO know more.

They will obviously be more knowledgeable when it comes to nursing issues (placing IVs, setting up equipment, moving patients, etc), but they shouldn't know more medicine than a 3rd year medical student. Just the other day...I saw a patient with neck pain who had exudative pharyngitis with unilateral tonsillar swelling, suspicious for abscess. I recommended to the resident we get CT neck and he agreed. A nurse overheard our conversation, and when the resident left, began to lecture me about CTs and unnecessary radiation. She claimed the kid had a normal WBC and only had a low grade fever and therefore did not have an abscess. CT neck report showed an early abscess with suppurative adenopathy. Nurses are great at what they do...but they don't understand nuance and medicine is black and white to them.

 

[Spodermin]

Admitted a patient who overdosed on glimepiride. The charge nurse was bitching about "the diabetic patient not being on any meds for his diabetes". Bruh...

 

[Mad Jack]

so my friend and I have been buddies since high school (I didn’t try in high school so I really didn’t do well but in college I decided I wanted to pursue medicine). We used to be super close but when I got into medical school it seemed like the dynamics changed. She’s a nurse and whenever I say something (ie our friend had a baby and I was answering a question she had) she acted like idk what I’m talking about. She just got accepted into nurse practitioner school and it just seems like that weird dynamic where she acts like she’s better than me has progressed.

I brush it off for the most part, I have too much stuff going on with school. But lately it makes me bummed, I just want my old friend back. Not some weird dynamic.

Thoughts? Why is she so weird about me being in med school? Or makes me feel like idk what I’m talking about? It’s honestly insulting I study my butt off in school. Should I just continue to brush it off? I only see her when I go home on breaks.

Ps sorry if this is in the wrong board or shouldn’t be on here at all but I feel like my fellow med friends may have good insight

Thanks

Ignore it, usually the respect swings back around in 3rd or 4th year. She is just trying to assert her knowledge base while she still has the certainty it exceeds your own

 

[Mad Jack]

There are exceptions to every rule, but speaking in practicalities, on your clerkships, most nurses know more than you do. First 2 years of med school is not a reflection of the realities of working in medicine.



Yes, they do.

They really don't, objectively

 

[sloop]

There are exceptions to every rule, but speaking in practicalities, on your clerkships, most nurses know more than you do. First 2 years of med school is not a reflection of the realities of working in medicine.



Yes, they do.

Nurses will frequently prevent new interns from killing people in the first few months of residency and that is something we should all be grateful for. That being said, this is a different thing from “knowing more.”

Nurses often gain a certain pattern recognition of “this doesn’t seem quite right” or “the other times I’ve seen something vaguely like this, it was a problem” and alarm bells ring. They often don’t know exactly what it is they’re concerned about though, even when they page the doctor. Early in residency, this will actually catch some errors and it definitely has value. But as you get more experienced, you start to notice that a greater and greater proportion of these interactions involve things like an appropriate treatment plan that isn’t exactly like the typical unit procedure so you wind up having to spend time explaining why you actually did mean to order the things you did. This is kind of annoying but it’s definitely worth it for the times they prevent real errors.

 

[Spodermin]

so my friend and I have been buddies since high school (I didn’t try in high school so I really didn’t do well but in college I decided I wanted to pursue medicine). We used to be super close but when I got into medical school it seemed like the dynamics changed. She’s a nurse and whenever I say something (ie our friend had a baby and I was answering a question she had) she acted like idk what I’m talking about. She just got accepted into nurse practitioner school and it just seems like that weird dynamic where she acts like she’s better than me has progressed.

I brush it off for the most part, I have too much stuff going on with school. But lately it makes me bummed, I just want my old friend back. Not some weird dynamic.

Thoughts? Why is she so weird about me being in med school? Or makes me feel like idk what I’m talking about? It’s honestly insulting I study my butt off in school. Should I just continue to brush it off? I only see her when I go home on breaks.

Ps sorry if this is in the wrong board or shouldn’t be on here at all but I feel like my fellow med friends may have good insight

Thanks

Back to OP's point. I dealt with the same thing with a few of my friends who didn't make it into med school but ended up in dentistry. For the first few years, they always took the opportunity to sort of show off any medical knowledge they had. I can't remember all the times they were triggered when someone said "you're just a dentist", and how they'd go on an hour long rant about how they learn just as much medicine as medical students but "they chose to specialize early". (to be honest I used to say this sometimes just to get a laugh)

The reason why she's being weird about you being in med school is....inferiority complex! Simple as that. She can't accept that she didn't make into med school and has to settle for nursing instead. So in her head, how can you two be equals again? She has to bring you down. How can she do that? Show people that she knows just as much medicine as you, if not more.

The way I see it, you have two options.
1) Continue to brush it off. Which isn't really fair to you since it's obviously bothering you. Plus it continues to perpetuate this absurd ideology to the general public that somehow nurse + online degree > doctor
2) Call her out. Which judging by the way your friend has been handling this situation, would result in your relationship effectively being flushed down the toilet.

My 2 cents, call her out, cut the bs out of your life and live happily ever after. A career in medicine is hectic as it is, and depending on what speciality you end up in, you might not have much time to spend with friends and family. These are the people who should be happy for you no matter what. It's obvious that she's not happy for you, so why waste your time?

 

[762513]

I think we are arguing apples and oranges. As someone else said, nurses know more when it comes to the day-to-day care of the patient… such as how to insert a Foley, how to do an IV… etc. But I am continually surprised by even senior nurses not understanding the basics of the illnesses they are helping treat. I was having a conversation with a nurse who had been in obstetrics for 25 years. She had no idea that Rh incompatibility was only possible in an Rh negative mother. She was telling me to get my husband’s Rh factor checked even though I was Rh positive (and couldn’t have issues by definition). My jaw about hit the floor. I haven’t done anything OB/GYN related in more than a decade, and even I know that.

Paramedics generally know far more medicine than nurses. An exception to this, in my experience, are ICU nurses. They seem to have much more extensive knowledge of at least physiology and critical care. They got me through my first rotation as an intern.

I was a paramedic who became a nurse who became an NP. Paramedics know a lot more than non-icu nurses when it comes to airway, breathing, and circulation. They are also handy with a zoll defibrillator, reading a monitor, putting in an IV, and extricating large people out of small spaces. The rest of medicine, though, paramedics don't really have a clue. They know a lot about a little, nurses know a little about a lot.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I was a paramedic who became a nurse who became an NP. Paramedics know a lot more than non-icu nurses when it comes to airway, breathing, and circulation. They are also handy with a zoll defibrillator, reading a monitor, putting in an IV, and extricating large people out of small spaces. The rest of medicine, though, paramedics don't really have a clue. They know a lot about a little, nurses know a little about a lot.

Might depend on where you are. In NM, the paramedics I know have a lot of medical knowledge since they have an expanded scope of practice. In general, I think you’re right though.

 

[deleted407021]

I’m going to disagree. They may know the door codes to the supply closet and the phone number to radiology. They can show you how to stop the dang monitor from beeping.

They do not know more medicine

Honestly I’m so thankful for that after I’ve pressed the “silence” button for the 30th time in 5 min

 

[deleted407021]

I can’t tell if you’re being serious.

I was talking a RN on the wards (20+ years experience) who didn’t know what folliculitis was

Diff RN but same seniority who didn’t know what intussusception was.

The list goes on and on...

Saw an elderly lady whose mouth was just going to town masticating and asked the nurse with her if she had a history of tardive dyskinesia and she looked at me like I was speaking Latin. I mean, I was. But still it’s a pretty common finding.

 

[Gurby]

Unless it seems like they're gearing up to inadvertently harm themselves I usually don't correct them. Spending all your time correcting people is a good way to lose friends, especially if it comes across like you're doing it just to show off how smart you are.

Wanting to keep up my paramedic cert, I had to take ACLS recently. There were a couple residents in the class along with some nurses. The nurse running the class said some flagrantly wrong things and I almost kinda got into it with them a little bit. I learned a valuable lesson in keeping my fat mouth shut from the residents, who just let the misinformation roll off their backs because it ultimately didn't matter, and shot me a look like

 

[762513]

Wanting to keep up my paramedic cert, I had to take ACLS recently. There were a couple residents in the class along with some nurses. The nurse running the class said some flagrantly wrong things and I almost kinda got into it with them a little bit. I learned a valuable lesson in keeping my fat mouth shut from the residents, who just let the misinformation roll off their backs because it ultimately didn't matter, and shot me a look like
View attachment 253192

So funny. I am doing a EMTP refresher now and I'm taking an ACLS refresher tomorrow. It's useful when the people who are teaching ACLS have done CPR at least once in their life before. Luckily it's taught by Paramedic/RN's so it should be fine.

EDIT: BusterScruggs was amazing. Except act 2.

 

[762513]

Might depend on where you are. In NM, the paramedics I know have a lot of medical knowledge since they have an expanded scope of practice. In general, I think you’re right though.

They are just really comfortable and confident in their wheelhouse. If you ask them about broader medicine though you are going to get deer in the headlights. That's ok though, I'm glad they are awesome at the stuff they need to be awesome in. I still keep my paramedic license up because I loved being a paramedic and would like to do it again someday as a volunteer.

 

[Raney Schauer]

Don't do anything.
Don't say anything.
Don't explain anything.

She's gotta work this out on her own.
Or not.

 

[yazmataz]

I've been in a situation like this where my supposed "best friend" was actually constantly putting me down. I found myself replaying conversations that we had in my head and realizing all the subtle ways she would put me down. But she was my "best friend" so I brushed it off. What we don't realize is that keeping around a friend who is toxic is incredibly taxing to our mental health and is actually far worse than having an "enemy". If you are dwelling on what this person says and find yourself constantly thinking about your interactions with them then I urge you to CUT OFF the friendship as soon as possible. You don't owe them an explanation or a formal conversation if you don't want to. You do owe YOURSELF peace of mind and the ability to free up your mental space for things that truly matter and the people that truly matter. When I cut off a toxic friend in my life everything changed for the better and I promise the same thing will happen to you! You have so many other things to focus on and a salty nurse is not worth your time.

 

[Raney Schauer]

I've been in a situation like this where my supposed "best friend" was actually constantly putting me down. I found myself replaying conversations that we had in my head and realizing all the subtle ways she would put me down. But she was my "best friend" so I brushed it off. What we don't realize is that keeping around a friend who is toxic is incredibly taxing to our mental health and is actually far worse than having an "enemy". If you are dwelling on what this person says and find yourself constantly thinking about your interactions with them then I urge you to CUT OFF the friendship as soon as possible. You don't owe them an explanation or a formal conversation if you don't want to. You do owe YOURSELF peace of mind and the ability to free up your mental space for things that truly matter and the people that truly matter. When I cut off a toxic friend in my life everything changed for the better and I promise the same thing will happen to you! You have so many other things to focus on and a salty nurse is not worth your time.

Why do you go straight to language like "toxic"? Why do you feel the need to tell someone to cut off all relations with a longtime friend, more than just a "salty nurse"? How do you assume that writing a post such as the original post as "taxing mental health"?

Your post is about you. You are projecting a massive dose of your own personal problems onto a completely unrelated dynamic. In doing so you've escalated a simple case of a friend who has to come to grips with the fact that she will someday go from subject area authority in the relationship to eventual subordinate, should they ever work together.

This isn't toxic, or codependent, or any of your overblown high-order explosive nonsense. It's a case of a personal relationship developing into a professional one. It's simple leadership. This kind of thing happens in the military all the time. A group of friends, then one gets promoted. They are now an authority. MD's and nurses, just like NCO's and non-rates, or any one of a million workplace pecking order changes that happen every day. That's just everyday life, professional vs. personal. Low-grade conflict resolution at worst.

Your evaluation and response is far more concerning than anything going on in the OP's life. Get a grip, kid.

 

[ACSurgeon]

No they don't. Please stop perpetuating this bull****. It's the reason nurses agencies are curb stomping physicians because they have to pretend every nurse is some god.

Just because a nurse enacts an orderset 100x doesn't mean they know anything about it.

Truth. Most of the time you ask a nurse about an upcoming medication or part of the plan, and they have no idea. If it doesn’t pop up on the screen as “due” they don’t know it exists.

And yes, while nurses know a lot of things that medical students don’t know, almost none of it is true medicine (ie appropriate diagnosis, developing a differential diagnosis, or knowing how to manage anything).

They start to recognize patterns but they almost never know why or what the exceptions to the rules are. Even when the exceptions are supper well known.

 

[Raney Schauer]

Ask them to draw the Krebs cycle.

You don't even have to do that. Ask them for any two other names for the Krebs cycle. Better yet don't say Krebs, say TCA and ask for the first step, the enzyme, it's substrates, and it's inhibitors. That's 4 week 1 exam questions right there.

 

[Gurby]

You don't even have to do that. Ask them for any two other names for the Krebs cycle. Better yet don't say Krebs, say TCA and ask for the first step, the enzyme, it's substrates, and it's inhibitors. That's 4 week 1 exam questions right there.

Bet they don't even know what the powerhouse of the cell is! LOL!

 

[FindMeOnTheLinks]

You don't even have to do that. Ask them for any two other names for the Krebs cycle. Better yet don't say Krebs, say TCA and ask for the first step, the enzyme, it's substrates, and it's inhibitors. That's 4 week 1 exam questions right there.

Lmao I couldn’t even answer this anymore. Does that mean I’m a nurse???

 

[GoodLawd]

For the record, our friend who just had the baby asked about meconium and what it was. if it was something I didn’t know...I wouldn’t have said anything.

As I was holding the baby (seated in a chair) my nurse friend said she wouldn’t trust me with a baby and that I don’t even know how to hold one. It was all very aggressive and out of no where. Hoping she can get over whatever is on her mind or making her feel inadequate. But I will definitely say something if it happens next time I see her, no need for negativity in my life.

 

[deleted407021]

Lmao I couldn’t even answer this anymore. Does that mean I’m a nurse???

I’m not sure I was ever able to answer it lol

 

[762513]

For the record, our friend who just had the baby asked about meconium and what it was. if it was something I didn’t know...I wouldn’t have said anything.

As I was holding the baby (seated in a chair) my nurse friend said she wouldn’t trust me with a baby and that I don’t even know how to hold one. It was all very aggressive and out of no where. Hoping she can get over whatever is on her mind or making her feel inadequate. But I will definitely say something if it happens next time I see her, no need for negativity in my life.

Doesn't sound like it's anything you did wrong. Do you think she may have interpreted you sharing your new knowledge as trying to flex on her? That's the only angle I could see, but even still, she shouldn't be treating you like that. I suggest you sit down and ask her what's up. If you're good friends, you'll have a healthier friendship after the conversation than if you continue to let it fester.

 

[762513]

Truth. Most of the time you ask a nurse about an upcoming medication or part of the plan, and they have no idea. If it doesn’t pop up on the screen as “due” they don’t know it exists.

And yes, while nurses know a lot of things that medical students don’t know, almost none of it is true medicine (ie appropriate diagnosis, developing a differential diagnosis, or knowing how to manage anything).

They start to recognize patterns but they almost never know why or what the exceptions to the rules are. Even when the exceptions are supper well known.

You're right on this for the most part. I will say that not knowing in detail the plan of care isn't because the nurse is not capable of understanding it, it's because spending that amount of time in a chart reading notes on their 6-10 patients is not something that is worked into a nurse day. As a nurse who has just transitioned to an NP role, the job is very different, and you can't judge nurses for not having time to fully understand the plan of care when they barely have time to pee during any given shift. Remember, hospital administrators also expect nurses to be waiters/waitresses, security, housekeeping, CNA, patient transport, respiratory therapists, managers, massage therapists, and hotel concierge.

 

[GoodLawd]

Why are you assuming that she feels inadequate? There are literally a million reasons that somebody could be more aggressive with you than normal. Maybe your theory is right, but also maybe she's going through a rough time and has been this way with everyone? Maybe it was just a one off? Maybe she's changed as a person since you guys were in high school? Maybe that particular topic was sensitive to her for some reason? Maybe you've been acting differently since you've been in med school, and she's responding to that? Maybe she was being her normal self and you were overly sensitive about a perceived slight on your medical knowledge because you feel inadequate?

It just seems like you're making a lot of logical leaps and assumptions about her motivations for her actions without having any proof. This is a friend you admitted you don't see often, so you really have no idea what she's thinking or why. I think you approaching the conversation with the assumption that she feels inadequate because you're going to be an MD and she's going to be a nurse will come off as cocky and condescending. If you genuinely feel you need to address the way she's interacting with you lately, then perhaps "Hey, it feels like we haven't been getting along super well recently. What's going on?" is a better place to start.

Ok you’ve made several assumptions in your post.

First of all, I would never say oh I’m going to be an MD and you’ll be a NP. Only a jackass would do that. Second of all, the amount of times I get to see my friends from home is now relative to what we used to see each other. It’s once or twice a month, we’re all 30 years old now. Responsibilities change, children to care for, mortgages to pay, etc. but we’re all still in contact. Third of all, there have been various incidents that have occurred that I didn’t feel the need to share over the SDN board. It took me 10 years to get into medical school because of various reasons. However, the moment I shared that I wanted to be a doctor with my friends a decade ago, she was the one friend that always said things that doubted
my potential and intelligence ( “you’ll only get into medical school because you’re asian”, “you probably won’t get in there” “ just be a PA instead”). I’ve always blown it off and just kept trucking along. But after the recent event, it really stuck out to me and made me think of all the other statements that have been said. I care about her, her success, and our friendship but I know I would never make comments that put her down like that. At this very moment, that is the only logical explanation I can come up with and until I talk to her in person that’s what I’m going to personally settle with.

 

[Raney Schauer]

Lmao I couldn’t even answer this anymore. Does that mean I’m a nurse???

It means you can say you've forgotten more than they'll ever know.

 

[Taco Time]

I would play Sketchy’s macrolide video.. watch her reaction

 

[lalalallala]

Ok you’ve made several assumptions in your post.

First of all, I would never say oh I’m going to be an MD and you’ll be a NP. Only a jackass would do that. Second of all, the amount of times I get to see my friends from home is now relative to what we used to see each other. It’s once or twice a month, we’re all 30 years old now. Responsibilities change, children to care for, mortgages to pay, etc. but we’re all still in contact. Third of all, there have been various incidents that have occurred that I didn’t feel the need to share over the SDN board. It took me 10 years to get into medical school because of various reasons. However, the moment I shared that I wanted to be a doctor with my friends a decade ago, she was the one friend that always said things that doubted
my potential and intelligence ( “you’ll only get into medical school because you’re asian”, “you probably won’t get in there” “ just be a PA instead”). I’ve always blown it off and just kept trucking along. But after the recent event, it really stuck out to me and made me think of all the other statements that have been said. I care about her, her success, and our friendship but I know I would never make comments that put her down like that. At this very moment, that is the only logical explanation I can come up with and until I talk to her in person that’s what I’m going to personally settle with.

This is tough. I agree that your friend is likely feeling a bit insecure with themselves and maybe they feel like doctors put nurses down in general even if you wouldn't do that. Unfortunately sometimes people that we think are out friends don't turn out to really be on our team. If you really care about the friendship, then I would try to ask 'hey is everything okay i feel like you've been a little short with me recently like x, y, and z examples". If you aren't that committed to the friendship, then I would distance myself and hopefully it will pass with time and if not then this person wasn't a true friend.

For the other posters debating the merits of nurses - it's really ridiculous. Some nurses are very knowledgeable and have a lot of experience with the diseases they see on a daily basis for decades that you just learned about. Other nurses likely won't know this info. Really no point in debating whether nurses are smarter than a MS2 or not.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Really no point in debating whether nurses are smarter than a MS2 or not.

Just pointing out that saying you know more than someone isn’t the same as saying you are smarter. I know more than my RN wife about the pathophys of a lot of things. That doesn’t mean I’m smarter, it just means I learned something she didn’t.

 

[lalalallala]

Just pointing out that saying you know more than someone isn’t the same as saying you are smarter. I know more than my RN wife about the pathophys of a lot of things. That doesn’t mean I’m smarter, it just means I learned something she didn’t.

True. I'll rephrase - I don't think there's a point in debating whether MS2's know more than the nurses in whatever ward they are in. Each situation and nurse will be different. If it's about the cellular pathology then yes y'all may know more than nurses, but I think it's better to just be humble and say hey this person has a lot of experience let me see what I can learn and what I can add. I felt like I was reading a lot of harshing on nurses (some of whom likely deserve it as well as some med students and doctors deserve it) and I just felt like it wasn't productive, especially considering it's not the point of OP's post.

 

[nimbus]

I was a paramedic who became a nurse who became an NP. Paramedics know a lot more than non-icu nurses when it comes to airway, breathing, and circulation. They are also handy with a zoll defibrillator, reading a monitor, putting in an IV, and extricating large people out of small spaces. The rest of medicine, though, paramedics don't really have a clue. They know a lot about a little, nurses know a little about a lot.

I like this. We can all aspire to know a lot about a lot.

 

[nimbus]

OP really needs to talk to their friend. A thread like this can only offer conjecture.

 

[Mad Jack]

Wanting to keep up my paramedic cert, I had to take ACLS recently. There were a couple residents in the class along with some nurses. The nurse running the class said some flagrantly wrong things and I almost kinda got into it with them a little bit. I learned a valuable lesson in keeping my fat mouth shut from the residents, who just let the misinformation roll off their backs because it ultimately didn't matter, and shot me a look like
View attachment 253192

Same at my ACLS class lol

 

[Mass Effect]

You don't even have to do that. Ask them for any two other names for the Krebs cycle. Better yet don't say Krebs, say TCA and ask for the first step, the enzyme, it's substrates, and it's inhibitors. That's 4 week 1 exam questions right there.

Yup, congrats. That's also knowledge any undergrad would learn in a biochem class. You'll never use it in day-to-day medicine.

So many strong reactions here about a relatively benign comment. The OP is a 1st-year medical student. As a 1st-year medical student, most know very little about how medicine actually works (example, an L&D nurse is likely to know more about the actual process of labor, what meds are given, what complications can occur during labor and what's done about them, etc. than a 1st-year med student who just memorized the Krebs cycle). Yes, I've seen/supervised superstars who are great, even as 1st years, but this is by far, the minority. The purpose of 3rd and 4th year is to truly understand the daily tasks of diagnosis, treatment, and care. Nurses within the specialty often know more than, say, a 3rd year student brand new to the service. They may not know the nuances, which is why they don't prescribe or lead the team, but they (at least the ones I work with) know the typical presentations, the typical orders and why we need them, and the typical follow up care. Not sure where you guys work, but the nurses you describe are a minority in my hospital.

Also, to whoever made the comment about this is why nurses think their God or whatever, please. I can praise nurses without endorsing the nurse's union and calling them God.

The point about people assuming she has an inferiority complex or that she's a nurse because she couldn't make it into medical school is quite condescending and if the OP is giving off that vibe, it's probably the reason the friendship has deteriorated.