Professor getting cold feet about letter of rec...

[stebgbby]

What do I do if a professor I am close to and made a letter of rec for me is suddenly getting cold feet? I have had a really great relationship with this professor, did research with him, presented at conferences, but I wasn't able to publish my work by the time I graduated. I was even offered to be a mentor for his classes twice (including an upper level one)! It didn't happen because my schedule never lined up. I thought I had a really good relationship with this prof, and he wrote me a letter of rec for another project and I specifically asked if he would write a med school rec and he was happy to. We even met about it! Well now I'm under the assumption he never wrote it, and I am emailing him about my committee letter and my personal letter. He is only answering questions about my committee letter and absolutely none about the letter he agreed to write for med school. What should I do? Nothing negative has happened between us, so I don't know what is going on. He refuses to answer my emails/questions about it. What should I do? Anyone with similar experiences?

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[SpoiledMilk]

That's a tough situation. Generally, it's best to have several letter writers in mind. You will need LORs when applying to residency, fellowships, and anything beyond. Sometimes letter writers have the best of intentions. Then they get busy and feel bad and stop answering emails. They're human. If you have already reached out to them multiple times and they have not responded, then I advise you find someone else for the personal LOR to medschool. You don't want to burn bridges with someone you have had good working relationship with since you might need them again down the road.

I also had a prof agree to write a LOR to medschool verbally but did not respond after I followed up with them. I found others to write the letter. It's part of the process...

 

[gyngyn]

When a letter writer gets cold feet, it's time to back away.

 

[stebgbby]

When a letter writer gets cold feet, it's time to back away.

Of course. At this point I am just trying to see how to move forward, even though other letters will probably not be as strong (no research or mentorship offers from other profs). Luckily I have good relationships with other profs too, but it did make me sad with this prof in particular, not going to lie...

 

[chilly_md]

It is frustrating when you had a seemingly strong relationship with someone and dedicated time to working with them, and then have them come up empty when it is time for a letter.

I hope you get great letters from the other professors without any issues.

 

[voxveritatisetlucis]

This is really a blessing in disguise. Better to get a sign in advance, than have him write a lukewarm letter

 

[candbgirl]

Of course. At this point I am just trying to see how to move forward, even though other letters will probably not be as strong (no research or mentorship offers from other profs). Luckily I have good relationships with other profs too, but it did make me sad with this prof in particular, not going to lie...

Be sad for a few days and then find someone else. There is nothing you can do about this letter. You’ve done everything you can to help this person write you a good letter. You’ll probably never know what happened but do t let it bother you for long.