Quality of Life

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

JDAD

1K Member
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Joined
Oct 7, 2003
Messages
1,380
Reaction score
1
I am between a rock and a hard place. I love medicine and I know that one way or another, I will be doing something related to medicine with my life. Now the hard part.

My father is a very successful Dentist/Orthodontist/TMJ Specialist, and all I need to do is complete dental school, work for him as an associate for a few years, and then the practice is mine for the taking. He gross's over a million a year as his own boss and works four days a week for seven hours a day. Pretty Cushy lifestyle and that could all be mine. He desperately wants me to follow in his footsteps and take over his practice.

I worked in his office all summer and came to the conclusion that I am not a big fan of teeth. I don't like working in a small dark space as a hunched over evil man. There are very few people that enjoy going to the dentist. I was astonished at the number of people that come in, in no discomfort what so ever, and then leave with a very expensive treatment plan. I understand that the work needs to be done in order to avoid certain pain down the road, but in dentistry there seems to be too many what ifs.

I shadowed an orthopedic surgeon with a fellowship in sports orthopedics and I loved it. I liked the happy, youthful patients that want to get better and wanted to return to form. I liked the surgery, I would much rather work on arms and legs than teeth and gums. I liked this profession, but I wasn't there long enough to deal with the negatives. Malpractice premiums are outrageous, insurance seems to be determining who gets treatment and who doesn't. Also, the hours are more than double what I would be working as a dentist and in very few instances are you your own boss. The pay is comparable so that isn't what I am worried about. The schooling is more rigorous and the residency is very demanding.

My dad called me today gloating on the phone. "I spoke with a patient that works for an orthopedic surgeon, and he says he wished he had gone into orthodontics."

I know that was a lot to read. It gets down to the easy way, or the hard way. Is working 30hrs a week, making great money, and spending that extra time with my family a better choice. Or do I want to work harder, longer, see my family less at something I like better, but not that much more?

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Members don't see this ad.
 
I hate to say it, but I'd go with your Dad.

To walk into a practice, to earn the much $$ for those hours, well, there's just no way.

With the money and time you'd have you could do things to make yourself feel much better! :D

I don't just mean the latest luxury sports car either! :cool:

You could offer services to local free clinics. Provide care to nursing homes. You name it.




Arrrgggghhh! Who am I kidding. Go with your heart, you'll be happier in the long run. (Kicks self)

Just don't have too much of a falling out with your Dad over it.

Craig
 
I think in your case it might be better to become a dentist, because 28hrs/wk means you have a lot of spare time and can pursue many other interests. If you have a woman, i am sure she could help you kill time better than some patients with broken legs. I think all jobs are in the end not fun, especially if you work >40hrs/wk.
 
Members don't see this ad :)
I think you should go with your heart also. It sounds like your heart is with surgery though. There are ways you can still have time for family and perform surgery also. Remember surgical residency is only 5-7 years, after that you can decide your own lifestyle. Dentistry may provide the easier route but if you're willing to work for surgery, I think you'd be much happier.
 
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 2: 10-11

this is why people have mid-life crises! and what do they do? they forge onto another path that they think will make them happy. sorry to say, that there's no right answer in this situation. only you can know the right answer, but if you want to obtain true contentment, then your path must lie within God's will for your life. dont ask me what that is. only you can search it out and find it.
 
Wow, this is a very interesting little predicament you have gotten yourself into. Great story line, you could make it a book. But, in the end, I say go with your heart. I think you will have a happier life if you do something you love. It will also be a lot easier to wake up in the morning. I could see you having major self-issues down the road if you choose dentistry. I understand how appealing the security of your father's practice is. I too am very concerned with family-time and finances. But I don't think security will make you happy. It might make you comfortable, but I don't think it will make you happy. If spending time with your family is important to you, you will do it either way (although maybe less with medicine). Who knows you might build a very successful surgical practice and obtain financial security and an optimal working schedule later in life. Then you'll try to push your son/daughter into taking it over, but their heart will be with dentistry :)

On the real, it looks like you have looked into both fields and have pretty good resources to make this decision. Trust yourself.
 
Money won't make you happy, but can make your environment more enjoyable. Both pathways would provide good income and security, however, so the issue becomes happines but I would also consider long term finances.

First, if surgery feels 100% right and dentistry feels 90% right, then you might want to seriously consider your dad's offer. What your turning down is a business entity that could later be sold if desired. Estimated Value of biz = net earnings x (3 to 7 multiple). Professional service providers commonly net 30% to 40% of gross revenues.

so Est.Val.= ($1M x .35) x 5 = $1.75M

Nearly $2M at the current biz volume, not to mention growth potential. Short working hours, good income, big gift, enjoyable career.

But if dentistry feels only 10% right, then politely decline the generous offer. Pursue your heart. Career satisfaction is important, money to a lesser degree.

Only you can decide. Good luck!
 
In the end it really doesn't matter what you've done with your life...what matters is how you view your life. I say go with the profession that will make you happy - which one will make you happy to go to work? Cuz if you're sincerely happy doing whatever your doing then it doesn't really feel like work. Granted that your dad's offer is really attractive, but is it really for you?
 
just to play the devil's advocate...

it sure would suck to go through medical school, residency, etc. just to find you don't like medicine/surgery any more than you do orthodontics. then you'd have gone into something you don't enjoy, pissed off your dad, and get less money to work more hours while answering to The Man.

happysad.gif


but that's just a ****ty hypothetical. do what you think will make you happier long-term.
 
My first thought:

Go into dentistry, cause you probably won't land an orthopedics residency.

My second thought:

Don't go into dentistry, cause you probably won't land orthodontics. :eek:

Okay for real now, you have to do what you really want to do. If dentistry is your backup career, then don't do it, because you're not going to make a great dentist like your father, and you'll end up filing for chapter 13,11 and 7. So follow your calling, not the most lucrative career, because there aren't any guarantees in life. In the end, if you are passionate about what you do, then you'll be good at it.

~lubdubb
 
my 2 cents:

How does it feel to have something handed to you? In high school, I busted my ass at Chuck e Cheeses to earn enough cash to buy a old (did I mention old) toyota supra. I ran well only 80% of the time but I loved it cause it was my car. When it finally died, my aunt (who goes through cars very quickly) gave me a pristine late model camary. Great car, ran 100x better than my supra, but it never really felt like it belonged to me. Plus, I felt way obligated to my aunt.

Moral of the story: who do you think feels a greater inner peace, the heirs to the Hilton throne or say, a Steven Jobs, who had to climb his way to where he is now?

Life is about the climb, if it was all handed to you, it'll spoil the satisfaction of earning it.
 
I think you will be happier doing what you like, even if you're just covering bills. It would suck to wake up in the morning and saying " ****, I have to go to work" everyday. They say if you do what you love, you don't work a day in your life. I'd stay with your gut.

Plus, dentists have a much shorter route to licensure than we do and here in Los Angeles - an average dentist makes a lot more money than an average physician. I can make 4x more money going into dentistry - however, it's not in my heart to do that.

I think if you follow your heart, you will find much happiness in the end - be it medical school, dental school, earning an MBA - whatever. Good luck :thumbup:
 
Screw $$$.

Go with what your heart says.

You never want to look back and say, "gee. i wish i would have."
 
If you don't want dentistry don't do it. Go into medicine if that is where your heart lies. You will probably change your mind about what you want to do as a residency by the time you graduate from medical school anyway. If you want lots of quality time with your family you might end up in Radiology, Pathology, Anesthesia or even Psychiatry!

Good luck!

:)
 
I say go into medicine. Medicine is such a broad field and you can go into so many different specialties. You would be more likely to find something that excites you and also gives you enough play time. In medicine you can go into business for yourself and make your own hours (a long time from now and depending on what you get into). Dentistry is a fantastic field, but it's just so much more limiting than Medicine. I'm sure Dad would not be disappointed if you choose MEDICINE over DENTISTRY. They are both admirable fields.
 
I think you're in a position most people would envy. Both paths have their pros and cons. It reminds me of a guy I knew in college. He is the heir to the country's largest ship building business. His family builds those huge luxury ships for Carnival and others. The business was started by his grandfather and his father currently runs it. The guy is worth $$$. Interestingly, he didn't take the easy route and join the family business. After college, he worked as a your average worker like you or me. He even lived modestly. I think that he wanted to establish his own identity outside of the company. If he would have joined the family business immediately, he would have lived in the shadow of his grandfather or father and people would always question his abilities. Later on, he did go to work for the family business but he got a lot of respect from many because they thought he deserved his positions rather than being given them.
 
if i were in your shoes, i'd do dentistry...and everyone's reason is going to be different depending on why they want to be a doctor. i want to be a doctor because it's a service...not just any service like being a social worker or nurse, but a service that is integral to a person's health and maintenance of their body. being a dentist is also similar. the other reasons i want to be a doctor is because of the things you learn - i mean the human body is a wonderful creation and i think that learning about it is interesting...but i feel that the oral cavity is also a cool part of the body and it plays an important role in one's health. being a dentist would satisfy very similar desires for what i want with my future occupation.

however, the other side of the coin is - i want a stable job that can take care of my family and give them a comfortable life...not crazy bling bling or super extravagent but comfortable and not have to worry as much as the average person. i also want to spend time with my family...both in terms of quality and quantity.

if i was in your situation, and i could go to either dental or medical school, i'd do dental school. i'd love to work with my dad AND be of service to people AND have a good stable job AND have time to give to those i love. i'm actually in similar shoes as you, except my dad is a radiation oncologist.
 
It's so easy to say follow your heart, but realistically....

Eventually if you find that special someone and have a family, odds are that is where your heart will be. Just another angle to think about. There is no easy answer. For me, IF I wanted a family, I'd do dentistry (but I am also a female, which slightly changest things)b.
 
Originally posted by Brit1982
It's so easy to say follow your heart, but realistically....

Eventually if you find that special someone and have a family, odds are that is where your heart will be. Just another angle to think about. There is no easy answer. For me, IF I wanted a family, I'd do dentistry (but I am also a female, which slightly changest things)b.

I beg to differ. I think the two things can peacefully co-exist. Which is to say, in a loving, healthy, supportive relationship...you can have your cake and eat it too.

I know I am in the minority on this, but I think we spend too much time putting our kids needs first and sacrificing our own dreams. And that is a slippery slope indeed. Why do you think there are so many people with mid-life crises? Mostly because they find themselves doing a job they can't stand...why? Because they gave it up for family.

But, I say, do you and your family a favor, live for the dream if it is viable, it's your life too. Wouldn't you want your kids, significant other to follow their heart as well?
 
You're story reminds me of me 7 years ago.

After working for a very good family friend throughout high school at a posh dental clinic, I too applied for a 7-yr BA/DDS program and got accepted. My friend had a plan to retire and to pass on her clinic to me, as I also knew most of her patients' families. Hours were great, billing insurance for root canals, caps and crowns were outrageous with every Mondays or Fridays off appealed to me.

But then there was one thing that bothered me, I wasn't fascinated with teeth, like you. Now that I've graduated college and dropped out of the dental program, worked in various fields, I'm applying to medical school to be an academic physician.

When I look back, I do admit that once in a while, I have thoughts that I could be that dentist right now. But in the end, I know I won't be happy because I don't picture myself doing root canals, bridges, bleaching, whatever... the excitement just wasn't there.

Just follow your guts, knowing what's best for you and your sincere drive to do your best in a career.
 
Top