Questions for the older folks!

[pelado]

Hey there,

Non-trad incoming SPT here with 5 logistical questions mostly for the older folks on this board, but I welcome anyone to chime in. I'll list the questions below with some context, but I don't want to bore you with minutia.

I'm 28 and will be packing up my house to attend UTEP, where the job market is barren much like the scenery. My SO is packing up her career and moving with me. Mortgage and garage gym in the mix.

1. Am I being selfish in allowing my SO to move with me if the job market in her field is kind of stale? We want to get married, likely after PT school, and she's enthusiastic about moving with me, but like me, she has an air of lukewarmness re: El Paso living. Although she settles my fears, I'm perpetually worried about our relocation potentially causing her to switch (read: kill) her career temporarily.

2. Should I sell or rent my 7 year old house? I'll be roughly 800 miles away, but will have access to a great handy man that can do repairs for future tenants, which likely would be my friends if I decided to rent. Currently still owe $90k on my mortgage and will rely on loans for PT school (UTEP tuition for 3 years is $33k)

3. Is PT school really that tough? Am I being arrogant to think this won't be that bad? You hear recent college grads say DPT is the hardest thing they've ever done (i.e. time management, no leisure time, etc). Well, you older folks have likely held a professional job before while you balance other time constraints. I currently have 21 hour days M-W, because I work full time and go to school. Previously, I was an educator that worked roughly 80 hours on any given week.

4. If your SO moved with you, what did/does your relationship look like while you're in school? ATM, we both have long work weeks and take turns taking care of each other, and evenly distribute chores, etc. We make time by grinding all week, giving most of the weekend to each other, and keeping Sunday for our individual needs (i.e. prepping for the week, etc.)

5. Can you feel the age difference in your cohort? Some folks in my cohort are 20/21. Average age seems to be 22-24. While I'm a chameleon and can hang with most people pretty easily, I worry that I'll be one of the old dudes.

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[LaxCoach18]

Hey there,

Non-trad incoming SPT here with 5 logistical questions mostly for the older folks on this board, but I welcome anyone to chime in. I'll list the questions below with some context, but I don't want to bore you with minutia.

I'm 28 and will be packing up my house to attend UTEP, where the job market is barren much like the scenery. My SO is packing up her career and moving with me. Mortgage and garage gym in the mix.

1. Am I being selfish in allowing my SO to move with me if the job market in her field is kind of stale? We want to get married, likely after PT school, and she's enthusiastic about moving with me, but like me, she has an air of lukewarmness re: El Paso living. Although she settles my fears, I'm perpetually worried about our relocation potentially causing her to switch (read: kill) her career temporarily.

2. Should I sell or rent my 7 year old house? I'll be roughly 800 miles away, but will have access to a great handy man that can do repairs for future tenants, which likely would be my friends if I decided to rent. Currently still owe $90k on my mortgage and will rely on loans for PT school (UTEP tuition for 3 years is $33k)

3. Is PT school really that tough? Am I being arrogant to think this won't be that bad? You hear recent college grads say DPT is the hardest thing they've ever done (i.e. time management, no leisure time, etc). Well, you older folks have likely held a professional job before while you balance other time constraints. I currently have 21 hour days M-W, because I work full time and go to school. Previously, I was an educator that worked roughly 80 hours on any given week.

4. If your SO moved with you, what did/does your relationship look like while you're in school? ATM, we both have long work weeks and take turns taking care of each other, and evenly distribute chores, etc. We make time by grinding all week, giving most of the weekend to each other, and keeping Sunday for our individual needs (i.e. prepping for the week, etc.)

5. Can you feel the age difference in your cohort? Some folks in my cohort are 20/21. Average age seems to be 22-24. While I'm a chameleon and can hang with most people pretty easily, I worry that I'll be one of the old dudes.

For starters I will be 23 soon but can offer some answers I hope! My husband will be moving with me to wherever I attend grad school. He has been preparing for the possibility of leaving where we currently live and having to find another job. He is ecstatic for a change of scenery and new job. However, if he doesn’t find one by the time school starts then only I will be the one moving until he gets hired on somewhere. It can be hard to ask your SO to pack up and move for you, but you don’t have to stay there forever. You can move again after you’re done with the program.
My relationship with my husband is a little strained whenever I’m in school simply because of how busy I am and how busy he is. We still make time to spend with each other but recognize that we both need alone time to wind down from busy schedules. My husband and I have very opposite schedules as he usually works evenings or overnights so it can get hard when we don’t get a lot of time together.
I also questioned how hard PT school really is. I have always worked one if not two jobs while going to school and commuting one hour each way. I talked with a student at an open house who works 3 jobs currently while attending her program (babysitting, temp. server job, and GA position). She said she still has time to have fun but simply manages her time better than her classmates who may have never worked while attending school. I have friends in grad school right now who struggle with the course load alone because they never had to do anything else while attending school. Obviously it’s still a doctorate program so it’s hard, but I think with time management skills you’ll still have time to have a life and be successful in your program.
As far as the age difference I can’t really speak to that as I’m that average age, but I would love to have classmates who may be non-traditional or older because I need classmates who are mature and can offer up different experiences and perspectives.
Hope this helps a little! Good luck to you!

 

[One Punch Man]

My husband and I have very opposite schedules as he usually works evenings or overnights so it can get hard when we don’t get a lot of time together.

That's a funny coincidence, my SO and I have that same problem since I work overnights and she works a 9-5.

To the OP, my fiancee and I are in a similar scenario. Here's the plan she and I agreed on:

So I told her to start saving up money soon after I found out about my acceptance into PT school. The reason being that it is incredibly difficult to find a job if you're applying from out of state. So our plan is that she starts saving money now, so that can use that money for rent and COL for several months when we move to Boston. Then while there she can actually have ample time to job hunt. Our goal is to have her save at least $10k (only cause it's Boston and COL is ridiculously high there + broker's fees.)

In the meantime, I advised her to open up a 18 month 0% APR credit card and told her to use that for every expense (except rent.) The reason being that we need to make sure that she saves every dollar that she can so that she can pay for her half of rent when we move. The beauty of these types of credit cards is that she doesn't have to worry about interest, and has a year and a half to pay off the card before interest starts accruing.

Once in Boston, she will have several months to job hunt. Also, the fact that we would be local would also make it easier to get to job interviews.

Edited, needed to clarify some things.

 

[One Punch Man]

1. Am I being selfish in allowing my SO to move with me if the job market in her field is kind of stale?

I wouldn't say you're being selfish. You two are trying to preserve the relationship by having her move with you. A long distance relationship can work, however it takes a lot of effort and you will already be strapped for time while in grad school. I don't think it's selfish to act in best interest for the relationship.

She can potentially find a job outside her field of work. My SO is planning on doing that in fact. Now your SO doesn't have to settle for a minimum wage job or anything, but she should be open minded and look for jobs outside her specific field of work.

2. Should I sell or rent my 7 year old house?
If you plan on returning to your house, then don't sell and rent it out. If it's likely that you'll settle in another town/state then I would sell it. But I'm not a homeowner so take my advice with a grain of salt.

3. Is PT school really that tough? Am I being arrogant to think this won't be that bad?

It will be difficult, as grad school should be. However since I'm assuming you have a passion for PT, that will help you grit your teeth and persevere when the going gets tough. Don't become complacent in PT school, strive to learn the most and to become the best PT you can.

4. If your SO moved with you, what did/does your relationship look like while you're in school?

I can't answer this as my SO and I have yet to make the move. But our plan is to schedule dates each week so that our relationship doesn't grow stale.

5. Can you feel the age difference in your cohort?

I'm not in PT school yet, but I will be 25 when I start which is probably several years older than my cohort will be. I'm guessing you won't really notice the age difference too much as one would notice during undergrad. Everyone there is likely serious about PT school and will take their studies very seriously.

I hope this was somewhat helpful.

 

[Mags_PT22]

I’m in a similar situation minus the SO thing. I’m stating school at 27 and won’t be done until I’m 31. I am concerned about loosing that time to gain experience but then I think that I gained a different kind of experience from having five years of the work force under my belt. I’m not too worried about being older. Grad school is different than undergrad. People decide to go back to school at different points in their life and for different reasons. From what I’ve seen on my interviews, everyone in PT school is hard working and want to see their classmates succeed. It’s a completely different atmosphere than undergrad. There’s not going to be the typical 20 year old excessive partying that I can’t keep up with anymore


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[deleted966137]

Can't exactly relate but at 28..you're not old.
You've considered and weighed things. Sounds like you have a supportive partner.
Do it now or you could regret not doing it later.
That saitama feller there points out the important stuff.

 

[OfficerFig]

Hey there! These forums helped me a lot before I started school so hopefully I can say at least one thing that helps you.

My situation: 27 years old and in the second semester of my program. Moved from a very liberal city for a school in a small town in Utah. Brought my SO along.

1. & 4. I worried about my SO moving with me for school. We've done long distance before, so I felt confident we could do it again. But he didn't think twice and came along for the ride. He didnt have the career problem, but I was pretty worried he'd feel isolated and lonely while I was in school all the time, and that our relationship would suffer because of it. It hasn't been a problem at all and i cant imagine not allowing him to make his own decision about coming. I use the common strategy of doing my studying at school so that home time is us time. Chores are divvied up pretty similarly to before school. And luckily for me he loves to cook

3. Before school I was working three jobs, taking classes, volunteering and shadowing, always working weekends. I usually came home and just fell asleep. Even when the school work gets tough, it's only one thing to focus on, and I'm not juggling a 3 or 4 schedules. The first semester I spent more time with my SO than I had in a year. It's just different and I definitely think working for 4 years before going back to school gave a me different perspective. My job is studying!

5. I thought I'd be one of the oldest in my cohort. Not even close! My cohort is a decently wide spread and after we got over the "shock" of figuring out who the 30-somethings are no one cared.

Good luck to you!

 

[pelado]

Thanks for all your replies, y'all. I really appreciated the time you took to provide personal insight and to even weigh in on my situation. You are all so kind and very appreciated.

I've accepted admission at UT-El Paso and forfeited by admission to Georgia State. I'm currently tempted by University of Southern California, but the $183k price tag is cray cray. I think I'd also be tempted if San Diego State and University of Washington accept me, especially because both my partner and I like those cities and she's from Seattle.

Since we have a potential desire to make our way out to the PNW, I think it makes the most sense to do UTEP where all I have to pay them is the $40k price tag I already have banked. This way, I only worry about living costs and she and I can walk away debt free, and focus on making cash and seeing about our relocation options. I suspect she'd also be able to find an immigration reporting job in El Paso if things aligned even better than they are currently.

Thanks for your help. Good luck to everyone waiting to hear back!

 

[kdubz7w7]

Hey there,

Non-trad incoming SPT here with 5 logistical questions mostly for the older folks on this board, but I welcome anyone to chime in. I'll list the questions below with some context, but I don't want to bore you with minutia.

I'm 28 and will be packing up my house to attend UTEP, where the job market is barren much like the scenery. My SO is packing up her career and moving with me. Mortgage and garage gym in the mix.

1. Am I being selfish in allowing my SO to move with me if the job market in her field is kind of stale? We want to get married, likely after PT school, and she's enthusiastic about moving with me, but like me, she has an air of lukewarmness re: El Paso living. Although she settles my fears, I'm perpetually worried about our relocation potentially causing her to switch (read: kill) her career temporarily.

2. Should I sell or rent my 7 year old house? I'll be roughly 800 miles away, but will have access to a great handy man that can do repairs for future tenants, which likely would be my friends if I decided to rent. Currently still owe $90k on my mortgage and will rely on loans for PT school (UTEP tuition for 3 years is $33k)

3. Is PT school really that tough? Am I being arrogant to think this won't be that bad? You hear recent college grads say DPT is the hardest thing they've ever done (i.e. time management, no leisure time, etc). Well, you older folks have likely held a professional job before while you balance other time constraints. I currently have 21 hour days M-W, because I work full time and go to school. Previously, I was an educator that worked roughly 80 hours on any given week.

4. If your SO moved with you, what did/does your relationship look like while you're in school? ATM, we both have long work weeks and take turns taking care of each other, and evenly distribute chores, etc. We make time by grinding all week, giving most of the weekend to each other, and keeping Sunday for our individual needs (i.e. prepping for the week, etc.)

5. Can you feel the age difference in your cohort? Some folks in my cohort are 20/21. Average age seems to be 22-24. While I'm a chameleon and can hang with most people pretty easily, I worry that I'll be one of the old dudes.

I'm 39 and just started my second year. I have my friends that I study with and hang out with, all below 25 except for one, and I don't think any of us really notice the age gap (I also super don't look my age). We're all doing the same thing. I just have a LOT more life and work experience, but the classroom levels the playing field. Honestly, below 30 years old all blurs together, and those of us in our 30s don't really stand out in any way. We understand Seinfeld references might be the biggest thing. Honestly, I'm kind of laughing at you being only 28 calling yourself an old dude. You're going to fit right in. I'm 11 years older than you and rarely think about my age. This is just where I am in my life right now.

As for is PT school really that tough......I was 4.0 for both my BS and MS, and yes, it really is tough. I've had careers, I've worked 80+ hour weeks, I've juggled multiple jobs and night shift and traveling for work and balanced it with relationships and exercise and eating healthy and blah blah blah, I am no stranger to working hard or being busy, nor am I an idiot, and yes, PT school is tough. I do have time to take care of myself, relax, spend time with my SO, but this is still the hardest thing I have done in my life, both academically and professionally. It is a doctorate. Do not underestimate that.

I live with my SO and was fortunate enough to be accepted to a school ten minutes down the road, so I can't really comment on the relationship stuff. Other than mid terms and finals, we spend about the same amount of time together.